When I got to the bedroom I checked the dresser and the closet and the bathroom for my things. I had to get out of there. I had to stop myself from falling even harder for Scout before my feelings were out of control. It was clear we’d been living out some sort of Pretty Woman fairytale, only this time the main character wasn’t a hooker with a heart of gold, but rather an overworked waitress who was terrified of falling in love.
“Nola, what are you doing?” Scout asked when he walked in the room. “You shouldn’t be moving this quickly, the doctor said—“
“I’m going home, Scout,” I said, fishing my phone out of my purse to call Tara.
“What? The doctor said I have to look out for you. The doctor said—“
“Stop it, Scout. Just stop. I have to go,” I said, tears stinging the corners of my eyes.
“But baby I promised I’d look out for you. Remember what I said? We’re in this—“
“I’m not your responsibility, Scout! I can take care of myself!” I yelled, water streaming down my face. “I know I messed up, and I’m struggling, and everything is sort of coming down on me at once, but I’m not a charity case, Scout. You don’t have to worry about me.” I pushed past him. “I don’t need your pity.”
“Nola…” Scout grabbed me by the waist and stared down into my eyes. “Baby, I know you’re not a charity case. Why would you even think that?”
“Why else would you be so nice to me? I’m not stupid, Scout. I know you probably have some gorgeous debutant or a freaking Kim Kardashian lookalike on speed dial. I mean, I get it. I remind you of where you came from, so you’re trying to help me out.” I pulled away from him and scrolled through my phone, looking for my friend’s number. “But you don’t have to worry about me. It’s cool. Tara will come get me and I won’t be your problem anymore.”
“Baby, it’s not even like that. If I wanted to be with some other girl I would be, but—“
“Then why aren’t you? I mean look at you. You’re handsome and sweet and rich.” I said the word as if it were an expletive I was embarrassed to repeat. “I can’t offer you anything you don’t already have, Scout.” I pressed send and put the phone to my ear. “I’m just gonna leave before I—“
“Dammit, Nola.” Scout snatched the phone out of my hand and threw it across the room, then plunged his tongue into my mouth, kissing me with a sense of passion and urgency I’d never felt in my life.
Scout’s fingers slid up my side and down my back, causing my nipples to harden under the t-shirt. He placed his hands on my hips, igniting a throbbing ache between my legs. I pressed my chest into his, resting my arms on his shoulders and pulling him deeper into the kiss.
“Wow…” I said, breathless when he finally broke away, my head still swimming from the heat of Scout’s mouth.
“Yeah…wow,” he echoed, his breath ragged. Scout leaned his forehead against mine and placed a peck on my nose. “You okay?”
I couldn’t speak; I couldn’t even think straight. But in that moment I knew one thing for sure: I was head-over-heels in something that felt a lot like love with Scout Clayborne, and I was most certainly not okay.
18 Scout
I sat hunched over my computer banging out endless lines of code while Nola slept in the guestroom down the hall. I checked on her every thirty minutes, afraid she would either stop breathing or slip out of the house and run away. I was being totally irrational. Other than a terrible headache and a nasty-looking cut on her forehead, Nola seemed fine. But still, I couldn’t stop myself from peeking in on her and making sure she was still alive and under my roof.
Having Nola so close made me breathe a little easier, even if it brought with it its own set of challenges, namely making me behave like an overly protective wacko. Case in point: I wanted to sit and watch her sleep. And every time I looked at her I wanted to rip her clothes off and make love to her until she came in waves. I also wanted to tell Nola she was safe and protected and loved, but that would make me sound nuts, so I forced myself to do something other than obsess over the first woman I’d ever let stay in my home.
My office was dark and the music in my headphones was loud, just the way I liked it when I worked, still I couldn’t concentrate. No matter how hard I tried to focus on my fingers or the monotonous lines of Python syntax I worked on, I couldn’t get that kiss out of my head.
I couldn’t believe Nola had everything so wrong. She thought I was only being nice because I felt sorry for her, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. While she was worried I saw her as a charity case, I was afraid I wasn’t good enough for her. I guess we both had our signals crossed. But that kiss, my God, the only thing disappointing about it was that it had to come to an end.
It was hard as hell to break away from her soft lips, my tongue wanted to do more than taste her mouth. But I knew if I held onto Nola for a second longer we’d both be naked and I’d be pounding into her. I could feel her nipples harden the moment I kissed her and I wanted to take them in my mouth, licking each one. But I couldn’t. Nola’s concussion was less than 24 hours old, and if I made love to her the way that I longed to do, she could actually get hurt.
My dick swelled, straining against my sweats, at the thought of being inside Nola. She probably felt amazing, like swimming in the ocean on a hot day or jumping out of an airplane ten thousand feet above the ground. I couldn’t wait to see her naked, using my hands and tongue to trace the curves of her body, and tangling my fist in her hair while I thrust into her. I fantasized about making love to Nola since the night we met, and having her in my house only made things worse.
I’d never brought a woman back to my place, didn’t want them to think what we were doing was anything deeper than fucking, but Nola was different. I intended to christen every room in my mansion—the shower, the pool, my bedroom, the closet, my office, the hot tub, on the veranda under the stars—with our lovemaking, but more than that I never wanted her to leave.
Thanks to the doctor’s orders Nola would be in my care for the rest of the week, which meant I had four days to make her fall so hard for me she couldn’t imagine us apart. But how the hell was I going to pull that off?
I reached for my phone to call the only person I trusted to give me advice about love.
“What’s good, man?” Fernando’s voice boomed in my ear and I could hear a woman giggling in the background.
“Nothing much. Say hello to Zoe for me.”
Fernando passed along my greeting then turned his attention back to me. “Jay filled me in about your girl. Everything okay?”
I had to chuckle, Jason and Fernando gossiped more than a pair of teenaged girls. If I told one of them something in the strictest confidence, it was like I had told the other one myself. None of us could ever keep any secrets from the others; we were brothers after all.
“Yeah man, she’s fine. She has a concussion, though, so the doctor said I have to keep an eye on her for a while.”
“Damn, that’s rough. All that from working too much?”
“Yeah, she works crazy hours, goes to school full time,” my jaw tightened, remembering how I’d let Nola down, “and I fucked up, man.”
“How’s that?”
“I should have been there for her. I knew she was working a double shift and hadn’t really slept, but I was out hanging with your ass.”
“Hey…you were the one with the stripper in your lap.”
My face broke into a smile. “Fuck you, man.”
Fernando chuckled for a second then cleared his throat. “Seriously, it’s not your fault. It’s just one of those crazy things.”
“I should have been there, man. If I would’ve been there—“
“Listen,” he said cutting me off, “you’re there now, right? That’s all that matters.”
“Yeah, but what if something even worse would’ve happened to her? What if she would’ve—“
“But it didn’t. You can drive yourself crazy with what ifs and shoulda, woulda, co
uldas, that won’t do either one of you any good, will it?”
I shook my head. “I guess not. I just feel so bad.”
“I’m sure she knows that. But yo, man, I never thought I’d see the day…” Fernando’s voice trailed off and he started laughing again. “Scout’s finally in love.”
“Who said anything about being in love?” I asked, feeling defensive even though I knew he was right. I knew Nola was the one the moment I saw her.
“Don’t try to bullshit me, Scout. Jay and I know you better than anyone else, man, and this is the first girl we’ve ever heard anything about since we were kids.”
“Whatever,” I said, deploying the only comeback I had as Fernando’s laugh boomed in my ear. “I need to know how to convince her to give me a chance, man.”
“A chance?”
“Yeah. Right now she sees me as a friend and I see her as—“
“Your woman?”
“Exactly.”
Nola was mine. The thought of anyone else being with her made feel a little homicidal. It was scary how territorial I’d gotten in such a short time, but I couldn’t help it. I would fuck someone up if they tried to hurt Nola, or take her away from me.
“Just make it plain,” Fernando said, bringing me back to reality. “Continue being there for her and when the time is right tell her how you feel. You’re a great guy, Scout. You’ve been through a lot, but you’ve got a good head on your shoulders and a huge heart. She’d be stupid to walk away from all that.”
I blew out a rush of air. Huge heart, eh? I wondered what Jason and Fernando saw in me that I didn’t see in myself, because in my eyes I was still that fucked up kid in Pacoima with a massive chip on his shoulder.
“But what if I let her in and she bolts in the other direction? You know I’ve got a ton of baggage. What if she can’t handle it?”
“Man you’re not as fucked up as you think you are, Scout. Your parents really did a number on you, huh? You have to learn to let that shit go and move on with your life. Maybe this girl is your chance.”
I turned Fernando’s words over in my mind. Nola was most certainly my chance at a good life, and maybe even my own family. But if I pushed her too quickly too soon it could freak her out.
On the surface it looked like I had it all, a shit ton of money, decent looks, and enough cockiness to get me through just about any situation. But before Nola tiptoed into my life I was fucking lonely and craving love, real fucking love, as much as my parents craved cocaine. Nola was my shot at everything I never had, but always wanted. I couldn’t blow it.
Fernando interrupted my thoughts. “Hey man, is she even worth it?”
“Absolutely.”
“Well, that’s good enough for me. When do we get to meet her?”
“I dunno. She has to take it easy for the next few days, then we’ll see.”
“Well Zoe and I are riding out to Zuma Beach on Saturday for the Hogs & Heifers barbeque, Jason will also be there. You should bring her.”
“Around a bunch of knucklehead bikers trying to show off? I don’t think so.”
“Come on, man. It’ll be fun. We haven’t all ridden up the coast in a while. Besides, nothing will happen to her with you, me, and Jason around.”
I wanted to introduce Nola to my boys, but Hogs & Heifers wasn’t exactly the best place to do it. When people started drinking things could get rowdy, and several times the whole event ended in a brawl. Still, riding up Highway 1 with Nola pressed against my back made me hard just thinking about it, and her getting a stamp of approval from my brothers made it sound even better.
“I’ll think about it,” I said, already wondering if I could get Nola a full-face helmet and riding gear in time.
“Cool. Well, let me get back to my girl. You take care of yours.”
“I will, man. Thanks…for everything.”
When I hung up the phone I decided to go check on Nola again, just to be sure she was still okay. I padded down the long corridor to the guestroom, careful not to make too much noise in case she was asleep. When I looked in the room, Nola wasn’t in the bed. I checked the bathroom and noticed she wasn’t in there either, and then I walked to my room hoping to find her naked and waiting for me in my bed. No dice. I jogged down the stairs checking the living room, kitchen, and guest bedroom, but Nola was nowhere in sight.
I started to panic. I raced back up the stairs, searching all the rooms again before ringing her cellphone three times. When the calls went straight to voicemail my stomach dropped. What if she left?
I ran back downstairs to grab my keys and jet to her apartment, but before I made it to the garage I saw a light shining in the backyard. I pushed through the sliding glass door and trudged out into the night. It was just after 11 pm and the full moon lit up the blackness. I gazed around, but didn’t see Nola.
I walked toward the pool, trying to quash the anxiety rising in my chest. Nola couldn’t leave. She couldn’t just walk out and take away my chance at a happy life. I still had four days to get her to fall in love with me; four days to convince her that I was her future; four days to persuade her to be mine.
I turned the corner and a smile spread across my face. Nona hadn’t fled under the cover of darkness. She was sitting on the edge of the Jacuzzi with her legs dangling in the water and her eyes trained on the sky.
Fucking gorgeous.
“Are you trying to catch a cold?” Nola was still dressed in nothing but the t-shirt I’d given her when I brought her home.
She looked up at me and my smile disappeared. “Sorry,” she said, her eyes full of sadness.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
“Just…thinking.” She shrugged, aimlessly moving her feet through the warm water. “I was supposed to work tonight and I’m not there. I’m pretty sure Ross will fire me now; he’s been threating to do it for a while. I guess I made it easy for him.”
I sat down beside her, rolled up my sweats and dipped my feet into the hot tub. “I think you’ll be okay.”
“Without a job?” she sucked her teeth, “I’ll have to dip into my tuition money just to pay my rent. This is all bad, Scout. Very bad.”
I grabbed her hand, running my thumb along her palm. “You still have a job, Nola. I called your boss and told him what happened.”
“You did?” her eyes brightened. “What did he say?”
“What could he say? This shit is his fault.”
The corner of Nola’s mouth twitched up into a smile and all I could think about was tasting her lips. “You didn’t curse him out, did you?”
“Not exactly.”
“What does that mean?”
“I told him if he ever pulled a stunt like this again I’d have my lawyer sue him for everything he’s got, including the lint in his pockets.”
Nola giggled and leaned against me.
“And if that wasn’t enough, I let Ross know I’d kick his ass if he even thinks about making you work another double shift.”
Nola gasped, her eyes wide and wonderful. “You didn’t!”
“Damn right. You could have been seriously injured, Nola. You could’ve—“ My voice splintered and I wouldn’t allow myself to say the words that had been sitting on the tip of my tongue.
You could have died.
The mere thought of Nola dying made me fucking sick; I couldn’t bring myself to actually say it aloud. I took a deep breath and tried exhaling the despicable idea from my brain.
“I’m sorry I let you down.”
“Scout—“
“I know what you’re going to say, Nola, but this is totally my fault. I should’ve been there to pick you up. I should’ve convinced you to not even go to work in the first place. I knew you were dog-tired and I let you go anyway. Hell, I even dropped you off!”
Nola tipped my chin her in direction. “It’s not your fault, okay? Please don’t think that.”
“What else am I supposed to think?” I stroked her hand, hoping she’d forgive me for letting her do
wn. “You’re out there busting your ass when you don’t even have to. I mean, look around, Nola.” I flung my arms wide, hoping she’d realize that I was ready to give her the world. “You don’t have to kill yourself for a couple of hundred dollars a week. I can help out.”
“Scout—“ She started to speak, but I cut her off, ready to explain that my offer wasn’t about charity, but rather love—or something like it.
“And no, this isn’t about feeling bad for you, or seeing you as a charity case. I want to help because I lo—“ I had to stop myself before I said the L-word and scared her off. “I like you, Nola. You’re my girl and I care about you. I meant it when I said we’re in this together, and that means stepping in when I see you struggling. It kills me to see you stressed out and working so hard, baby, especially when I know I can make things a lot easier.”
Nola covered her face and cried softly into her hands. I couldn’t tell whether they were tears of joy, or if she was even more upset, so I sat there with my stomach in my throat. After a few minutes, she raked her hands through her hair and finally met my eyes.
“I…I don’t deserve this,” Nola stammered. “You’re so…” her voice hitched in her throat and I waited, unable to decide what the hell to say. “This is too much, Scout. You’re too much. I don’t even deserve this….or you.”
She dropped her head to her lap and it took me a minute to figure out what she said. She didn’t deserve me? Me? Nola thought I was too good for her?
“Baby, what are you talking about?” I stroked her back, trying to coax her to look at me. “I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you, Nola. You’re stunning and brilliant and funny and kind. You’re more than I could ever want in…a friend.”
I suddenly felt overcome by the need to lay my cards on the table. It was now or never. I had to tell Nola that I wanted more than to just be her buddy; I needed her heart.
“Baby? Listen. I know you said you don’t believe in happily ever after, but I think we—“
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