My eyes filled with tears as I looked at my lover’s face, his eyes glassy and dilated. “You fucking bastard.”
“Let’s get this show on the road,” Sawyer said, and he stepped toward me with the second syringe.
Sawyer angled the needle at my skin as panic and eagerness warred heavily in my chest. He laid the syringe against my vein and then looked me dead in the eye.
It was as if the sound had been blotted out of the room. I could hear my heartbeat thundering in my ears. One, two, three seconds ticked by.
“Fall,” he whispered in my ear a moment before my chair was toppled over and I smacked the floor hard.
Then all hell broke loose as shouts arose from the back of the room. A shot whizzed past my ear as I crawled sloppily toward Vaughn with bound limbs. My eyesight fuzzed and my breathing was labored as I zeroed in on saving the man I loved. I threw my body on top of him to protect him from any stray bullets.
When I next looked up at the bar, Mal was standing over Jake, pummeling his face into a bloody pulp. A line of blood dribbled from his nose onto the front of his shirt.
“You just had to go and mess with one of our own. You stupid motherfucker,” he said. “You and your club are finished.”
He gave a brusque nod to Sawyer, who angled the Glock straight at Jake’s heart, the silencer screwed expertly in place, and delivered the fatal blow.
Chapter Thirty-two
Vaughn
I felt warm, fleshy lips breathing against my mouth, and I groaned into the feathery kiss. Smoke’s tongue traced my lips, just a swipe, but oh, so incredible to feel him, all of him, since only a few days ago, we were both as good as dead.
Smoke had stood vigilant over me since that night, wondering if my side effects might send me into the deep end, whether I’d want to seek out another hit. Sure, that dose of heroin had knocked me on my ass like a runaway train. It was like thirty minutes of pure unadulterated nirvana, but coming down scared the living shit out of me.
But now I got it. How it was so addicting and appealing. How Smoke seemed to beg Sawyer not only with his eyes but his entire body when it was directly in front of him. It was the type of high I had never encountered before. I would certainly never forget it. I also never wanted to experience it again for as long as I lived.
Smoke had asked me to describe it. My mood, sensations, perceptions, as he helplessly sat watching me across the room.
Then he promptly went out and found himself an NA meeting. After he got home, he never asked me about it again.
His hands smoothed over my chest, heading down to my stomach. My fingers reached to feel for him. He was rock hard and still completely naked, even though the scent of our morning coffee drifted toward my nose.
“When are we leaving?”
Mal had asked us out to the compound today. It would be the first time I’d seen him since the other night. He’d called to check on us several times, and he got regular reports from Felix.
The Disciples had an emergency meeting the day after Jake was killed to talk about what went down that night. The entire Asylum club had been decimated by the Scorpions and Russians. Sawyer obviously had been ordered to work both sides and played his part expertly.
But we still didn’t know what that meant for Smoke and me. And at this point, it didn’t even matter.
“Not for another hour,” Smoke said as his fingers slid around my erection. “We’ve still got time.”
“Come here,” I mumbled, wanting to feel his smooth body over mine, the weight of his chest. His heartbeat as he lay on top of me. Pulse to pulse, skin to skin, cock to cock. This was the only drug I needed.
“No matter what happens today,” he said roughly against my ear, “it’ll always be you, Vaughn. For me.”
“Mmmm…” I hummed as my hand sealed around his nape and I pulled his lips to mine, showing him exactly how much he meant to me.
“We’ll make it work,” I said, tilting his chin. “Whatever that means.”
“What you did for me the other night…” he said, his voice watery as emotions crept across his face in waves. “That was…”
“Shhhh…I love you,” I whispered against his mouth. “And I’d do it again every single time. You protected me, too. The way you covered me when the bullets started flying?”
His kiss was rough, passionate. “I need to be inside you.”
Our cocks rubbed and slicked together, and my eyes flickered shut as a shiver worked through me. “I want to feel you raw. Nothing between us.”
At the insistence of Mal, Smoke and I had been thoroughly examined after that night. It was by a doctor who was on their payroll and off the record. While we were at it, we asked for additional testing and had both received a clean bill of health.
Smoke watched me intently for a long moment before he nodded and groaned, lining up his cock. “I won’t last the first time.”
As I raised my knees and he nudged inside me, everything gleamed like the sharp edge on the blade of a knife. In that moment, it was only Reed and me. And everything was right, amazing, unblemished in our own little sanctuary.
How this perfection could ever be questioned in the world outside of us, I didn’t know.
“Oh goddamn—” he moaned. “I can’t even…uuuuuhhhhh.”
He changed position, hitting that one spot inside me, and my nerve endings caught on fire. “Oh fuck, I can feel you, really feel you. Incredible.”
I clutched my own cock and pumped myself into oblivion, my seed spurting in ribbons all over my chest and neck.
“Don’t close your eyes,” he said as my legs shook and my head lolled side to side. “I want to watch you.”
My eyes flashed open and our gazes collided. He bent his head to lick come off my neck before he kissed my lips. His tongue slid against mine and I tasted myself. “Gorgeous.”
His thrusts became more ragged as his mouth fell open in a silent groan. As he came, I looked into his vividly green eyes and saw him in his purest state, laid bare to me. His truest, rawest form. Perfection.
“Oh fuck, can you feel that?” he said, quivering. “It’s like we’re mixed together inside you now.”
Words had escaped me. So I reached up and touched his flawless lips, his flushed and trembling chest, and I knew that I would never feel this way for anybody else again. This resounding toll in the deepest recesses of my soul was reserved only for him.
Chapter Thirty-three
Vaughn
We rode out to the compound together, both wondering if this was where the big boom would come down. Though I no longer felt like I needed to look over my shoulder, there were so many unanswered questions, and none of the guys were talking.
Not even Felix, who told us to speak to the prez first, though he seemed more than relieved that we’d made it out alive.
The compound was quiet when we arrived. Nobody was around except for Jonas.
Smoke and I had decided that no matter what, we were done hiding, and we’d do what it took to be together. I’d break the news to my father, hoping in time he’d come to accept it. I’d dealt with my sexuality my whole life. Even I didn’t understand it. I just knew it was who I was. I should’ve told him sooner.
Mal was sitting at his desk, scrolling through his laptop, while Jonas finished up a phone call. Smoke and I sat down a bit awkwardly, neither seeming to know what to do or say.
Jonas ended his phone call and after a long, drawn-out silence, Mal finally cleared his throat. “You think I didn’t suspect anything?”
My stomach dropped out. I parted my lips, attempting to suck air through my lungs.
“I waited for you, Smoke,” he said. “To tell me you and Vaughn were together, or were trying to work through some things, or what the fuck ever, but you never came clean.”
Mal didn’t seem furious, more like annoyed and even somewhat amused. Like we had tried to pull the wool over his eyes and didn’t succeed. But it hadn’t been like that at all.
“I
never set out to disappoint you. Not after everything you’ve done for me.” Smoke grabbed hold of his cut as if ready to slide it over his shoulders. “If you want to send me packing, I can—”
“The fuck?” Mal’s voice boomed through the space, and I flinched. “Do you really have such a low opinion of me?”
I didn’t dare open my mouth. This was really between Smoke and Mal. Almost like brother to brother, even father to son.
“Fuck, no. I didn’t know how to have him in my life and be faithful to you, too,” Smoke said, straightening in the chair, his hands falling to his sides. “It’s not like I set out to feel this way for Vaughn. In fact, I tried to fight it. For a long time.”
“We both did,” I murmured, looking at my boots. “But I can’t be sorry for my feelings for him. Only that we didn’t tell you sooner.”
I could hear Jonas breathing heavily next to me. I couldn’t even deal with how he was feeling right then, so I averted my gaze.
One fire at a time.
“The reason I had Vaughn stay with you these past few weeks?” Mal said, up and pacing now. “That was because I knew you would protect him best. Understand?”
I gaped. He’d had his suspicions even then on how we felt about each other. Smoke looked over at me, his eyes wide, his fingers making the motion to reach for my hand, but keeping himself in check at the last minute.
“Now,” Mal continued, rushing his fingers through his hair. “You kept some things from me and I did the same, for a larger reason.”
Both of our heads sprang up to meet his eyes. Mal threw a look at Jonas that was a cross between bummed and disappointed.
“I’m talking about Fish and me plotting with Sawyer to get closer to Jake,” he said. “I figured you guys knowing would make our plan less authentic. I’m sorry about that, but I stand by that decision.”
Smoke swallowed thickly. He threw me a glance, and I rolled my shoulder. After all was said and done, the way things went down was cool by me. We were all safe and alive. I wouldn’t pretend to know all of Mal’s reasons for not keeping Smoke in the loop, but I didn’t want to analyze it now.
“From now on, I need us all to be on the up and up,” he said. “You feel me?”
Smoke bit his lip and nodded. “You have my word.”
Mal held out his hand for Smoke to shake on it.
When he grasped for my hand, he patted me on the back. “There will most likely be some growing pains with the other guys. But I’m confident it’ll all work out. We didn’t come this far to get derailed by a brother falling in love.”
Smoke kept his head down, his knee bouncing a mile a minute, his jaw working his gum.
I could feel my neck heat up as Jonas added his two cents. “Hear hear.”
Mal sat down on the edge of his desk and reached for a large manila envelope that he handed to Smoke.
“What’s this?” Smoke said, turning it over in his hand.
“Open it,” Mal said, waiting for Smoke to unclasp the envelope. “The Hog’s Den will be closed for another week while we make some changes.”
My eyebrows drew together. “Changes?”
He shrugged. “New paint on the walls, maybe some new chairs. Whatever you decide.”
Smoke stared at the documents on his lap. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m giving you the option to buy me out,” he said. “I’ll still maintain a small share. But the Hog’s Den is yours if you want it.”
What the hell was happening here?
Using his finger as a placeholder, Smoke looked up from the line he was attempting to focus on. “Buy you out? I can’t afford…what the fuck…why?”
“You tell me if I’m wrong. But deep down I figure it’s what you really want,” he said. “Your family’s business was taken away from you at an early age.”
Smoke shook his head as if to clear the cobwebs. “My uncle?”
“We finally found the bastard,” he said and stole a quick look at me. “And let’s just say…he did the right thing.”
“Took some persuasion,” Jonas added and I cringed, not really wanting to know what that meant.
“He fucked up and he knows it,” Mal said. “Gave you enough money to cover my portion of the bar.”
Closing his eyes on an inhalation, Smoke sank lower in his seat. “So it’s true? He was after the insurance money?”
Mal patted Smoke’s shoulder. “We’ve all got people in our lives who don’t deserve to be called family. You’ve had a shit hand dealt, for sure. Now it’s time to have something of your own.”
Smoke’s eyes clouded with turmoil. “What about the club?”
“If you still choose to be part of our brotherhood, that’s cool by me and Jonas, and all of the brothers,” he said. “By a unanimous vote.”
He gasped and sat up ramrod straight in the chair.
“Or you can choose to run the bar with Vaughn as is, and we’d still see you every day.”
Smoke sat silent for a long while, as if weeding through everything that had been said.
“I could never repay you for—” Smoke choked out the words.
“You repay me by being happy.”
* * *
It’d been a couple of weeks since the shootout. I was sweeping the floor at the Hog’s Den, prepping for our grand reopening. We ignored the grumble of the regulars who complained that they liked the space just fine as is. Little did they know that their favorite barstools had been close to becoming a pile of ash that one night.
Lewis and Cherry had accepted our news without even flinching. Cherry had said she’d already suspected something was up between me and Smoke. Lewis was simply Lewis. Nothing really fazed him.
Smoke and I didn’t have it all figured out yet. Outside of new paint, we chose not to do anything drastically different with the bar. There’d been enough change in our lives for the moment and besides, why mess with a good thing?
I had briefly returned to my apartment and let my landlord know that I wouldn’t be re-signing the lease. Smoke was still feeling his way around after taking a walk from the club. Most of the brothers had given us their blessing.
Smoke drove over to my pop’s house with me the other night with a peace offering of sorts. He had crafted an unusual-looking clock from some vintage auto parts, and I loved watching my dad’s eyes light up when he saw that thing.
After he left, I stayed and broke the news to my pop, who took the idea of Smoke and me building a life together better that I expected. Mary was present, which I’d admit helped lessen the blow. They had begun seeing each other on a regular basis, and she was good for him.
Smoke appeared from the back room wearing his Hog’s Den T-shirt. The material clung to his chest in all the right places, and I wanted to push him down on the bar top and have my way with him. But we had set some ground rules. No more fooling around at our place of business. Still, I couldn’t help stealing a kiss or two every hour, at least.
“You ready?” Smoke asked, interlacing our fingers.
“As I’ll ever be,” I said, raising his hand to kiss his palm.
Smoke reached up to clang the new bell above the bar, similar to one his dad had used at Mitsy’s place, he’d said. He even had the brass engraved with his mother’s name.
“What do you think?” I asked, enjoying the sound as much as the gleam in his eye.
“I think I’m happy,” he said, his rough hands clutching my jaw. “I think I finally found what I’ve been searching for.”
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Our lips met, and my tongue dipped inside his mouth. We kissed long and slow and deep, my fingers digging into his waist, with the promise of so much more.
But it would have to wait. We had a bar to run tonight.
Smoke’s lips skimmed across my ear. “I think I definitely found home.”
THANK YOU for reading THE DARKEST FLAME!
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Read on to view a short excerpt from THERE YOU STAND, Cory and Jude’s book.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
To my agent, Sara Megibow—for always supporting me and believing in my books, especially when I can’t see the forest through the trees. It means more than you can imagine.
To the team who helped make this book shine: Bev Katz Rosenbaum, for the developmental edits, and the Formatting Fairies for the copyedits and proofing. You rock. Kanaxa, for my amazing cover, and Nina Bocci, for not only being an amazing publicist but a kick-ass friend.
To Stina, Kate, and Deb: Thank you for dropping everything to read for me and then giving me crucial feedback.
To my family and friends for your constant, unwavering support. I love you.
To Greg and Evan, for not complaining when I have to disappear to work at odd hours of any random day. I don’t want to be in any other place in the world except right next to you, every single night.
To the amazing book bloggers and reviewers out there—there are too many of you to list here. Please just know I appreciate all the work you do—all on your own dime—for the simple love of books. Because when it comes down to it, all of us are readers first and foremost.
Last, to the readers: THANK YOU for taking a chance on my books and reaching out to talk to me about them. For an author, there may be no better feeling.
About The Author
Once upon a time, I lived in New York City and was a wardrobe stylist. I spent my days getting in cabs, shopping for photo shoots, eating amazing food, and drinking coffee at my favorite hangouts.
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