But he was still the asshole who’d broken my heart, stolen my car (okay, Ben’s car), and was turning the whole thing into a game. A game he would not win.
Josh was biting into the side of a waffle cone when I reached him. I knew without asking that he’d chosen chocolate chip cookie dough. I wanted to hit him, but in the same moment, I wanted to hug him. Now, we could actually get out of here.
“Have a seat,” he said with the hint of a smile, tipping his head toward the open space where my bowl of ice cream was waiting.
The glint in his green eyes was so familiar. It was as if we were at the start of a practice run, his standard dare wavering in the air between us: catch me if you can. I had always wanted to. I had always tried. And, up until the end, he had always let me. We would press our hands together, fingers intertwined, and whisper the things we’d stored up over the day, our secrets and feelings spilling out in the darkness of the tower’s chamber.
“No sitting.” I shook my head, shaking all of that history free. “Only leaving.”
“Why the rush?” He raised his eyebrows as if he didn’t have a clue. He should have been more afraid than I was.
“Really? Can we not do this?”
Josh shrugged and licked a smudge of ice cream off his lips. “You expect me to just hand over the keys? After the way you guys treated me back there?”
“What do you want? An apology?”
“It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?” Josh swallowed another bite of chocolate chip cookie dough. “Besides, I get it. I know exactly why everyone hates me.”
My mind flitted to Old Henderson Road, imagining for the millionth time the dark winding curves, the trees blocking out the moonlight, the sounds of twisting metal and exploding glass splintering the silence into a million pieces. Tires squealing as Josh’s car veered off the road. Trees snapping as he slipped into the ravine. And, somewhere in that crumpled mess, Penny’s broken, lifeless body.
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, wanting to grab the bowl of deep-purple ice cream and run away from him … from all of it.
But I needed Josh. I needed his help.
“The way people feel about you, how Eddie treated you—”
“I know I can’t hold it against anyone.” Josh’s voice cracked. Only slightly, but it was enough. “The whole thing was my fault.”
That wasn’t true. The problem was, I hadn’t told Josh. I couldn’t. Not then.
I wondered what he’d think if I came clean now.
“Look,” I said, stepping forward until my knees were touching his, wondering if this was it—the moment I should spill everything. I wanted to pull back as soon as the heat from his skin seeped through my jeans, but I forced myself to lean in instead. It would be so simple….
But then my jacket swept forward, my empty pocket grazing my hand, stopping me short. “Wait a minute. Back there, in front of the bar, you pretended to help me when that guy almost knocked me down—”
“I didn’t pretend anything. You would have been flat on your ass if I hadn’t caught—”
“You stole the keys from my pocket? That’s how you moved the car?”
Josh took another bite of his ice cream.
“And to think I was starting to feel sorry for you,” I said, smacking his arm. “Cute little prank. Now it’s time to get out of here.”
“What, like you and me? Together?”
I nodded. As much as it scared me to admit, I didn’t have anyone else I could count on.
“Where are the glitter twins? You’re just leaving them behind?”
“They’re staying. We’re going. That’s all you need to know.”
“What if I don’t want to leave?”
I put my hands on my hips and leaned in even closer. Josh smirked, but I ignored it. Nothing was going to get in the way of my escaping my boyfriend—ex-boyfriend—and his rage. “If you don’t want to leave, that’s your call. But just so you know, Ben’s probably already on his way here. He has everything he needs to pinpoint our exact location. I need to get out of here. Fast.”
Josh ate the last bite of his cone and crumpled his napkin into a tight ball. “You need to get out of here. Me? Not so much.”
“Have you forgotten how much Ben hates you? Penny was his best friend’s sister. If Ben thinks you’re part of this, he’ll slaughter you.”
Josh tossed the napkin in the air and caught it with one hand. “You make a strong point.”
“So you’ll show me where you hid the car?”
“I don’t know. That sounds like something only a friend would do. And let’s face facts. If you’d had the keys and found that car sitting right outside the bar, you’d be gone, and I’d be stranded here. Which would not have been friendly at all.”
I remembered Josh in a hospital bed, his words echoing off the sterile walls of the room as he told me to leave him alone. “Us not being friends anymore? That was your decision, not mine.”
“True.” Josh narrowed his eyes. “And then you ran straight from me to Ben Baden.”
“You’re really going there?”
Josh shrugged. “I’m just stating the obvious. The whole thing makes us a little more like enemies than former friends, don’t you think?”
“Great. That should cut out any awkward moments.”
Josh raised his eyebrows. “We’ll be having moments?”
I sucked in a deep breath. “I kind of need you to drive. We can go back to not speaking as soon as we get through tonight.”
“Right, and then you can go back to your dickhead boyfriend.”
I smiled. It actually sounded like Josh cared.
He yanked Ben’s keys from the front pocket of his shorts, then grabbed his backpack, swinging it over one shoulder. Without even looking at me, he turned and started walking away.
I grabbed the cup of black raspberry chip ice cream and started to follow him. But then I had a better idea. I turned toward the bulletin board beside Graeter’s, my gaze running over the flyers for bands and art shows and wine tastings, and set my ice cream back on the bench. Then I snatched my favorite purple pen from my purse, smoothed a napkin out on my knee, and wrote a note for Ben:
Catch me if you can.
XOXO—Hadley.
13
SPRING HEIGHTS ESTATES – 10:31 PM
I FOUND the pictures in no time, my fingers tripping across the screen of Ben’s phone. They were saved in a folder labeled with my name. I wanted to fly through them without looking, hitting DELETE over and over until they’d all disappeared. But something caught my attention, distracting me.
There was more than one folder.
More than one name.
At the top of the list I saw Sydney.
And then Jules.
Becky.
And Treen.
But those names weren’t what stopped me. They weren’t the reason my blood turned cold.
There was another name. A sweet and simple name that everyone in town had repeated over the last year through whispers and falling tears. A name that had been tattooed on the surface of my heart.
Penny.
My stomach dropped as I pressed my finger to her name, as the folder opened and the first image popped up on the screen.
She was laughing, head tipped back, her caramel-blonde hair falling across one shoulder. One very bare shoulder. Her body was scrunched tight, as though she was trying to hide herself. But it was obvious. Penny Rawlins was not wearing a shirt.
Swiping to the next image confirmed that she was one small step away from naked. Her fingers were laced in the sides of the black-and-pink polka-dot panties. I remembered her picking them out during a trip to the mall the winter before she died. The photo highlighted her pouty lips, rounded in a wide O, and the way her wide eyes gleamed with surprise.
There were a few more like that—playful, silly—as if she had been enjoying herself. But the next shot told a different story. Penny was bending forward, one arm shielding her
chest, her hand holding a bundle of clothes. Her forehead was creased, her mouth wide open. It was obvious she was protesting, maybe even trying to get away. She had been finished. But Ben hadn’t been.
I needed to stop.
I couldn’t.
I had to know how bad it had been. How bad he had been. I owed it to Penny to figure out what he’d done to her. She hadn’t lived long enough to defend herself. I flipped through the next few pictures quickly, a sick feeling spreading from my stomach through my entire body. I saw Penny on a bed, blankets spilling around her, arms stretched above her head, her eyes hazy and unfocused. Penny curled up on the floor of a shower, her hair dripping and dark, pink lips shining in the light of the camera’s bright flash.
My mind was reeling as I reached that last shot, my teeth clenching as I took in the details. Because the image of her lying limp, barely conscious on that blue tile floor told me more than I’d ever wanted to know.
But the pictures of Penny gave me something, too: a way to take Ben down. Not a superficial act, like using Josh Lane to piss Ben off, but a real plan. Pictures like these could ruin a person’s life. They’d destroy his dream of going to Ohio State in the fall. Penny had been a minor—these pictures might even land him in jail.
The thought of Ben paying for what he’d done burned brightly for a moment, then quickly dimmed as my shame kicked in. When I imagined showing these to anyone, especially the police, I was tempted to delete every image. Of myself. Of Penny. Of all the other girls. Penny would agree, I thought. She would understand how I felt. My finger hovered over the last shot. I selected it and watched as the option to delete appeared.
Then I heard a noise. A blast of music bursting through the crack under the door. I scrabbled to my feet, pushing off the wall, accidentally yanking a plush white towel off the rack above me, knocking my head as I put Ben’s phone to sleep and shoved it into the pocket of my jacket. But if it was him, he’d search me. I knew he wouldn’t stop until he found it.
I leaned down to the cabinets under the sink and yanked the door open. I was just about to pull the phone from my pocket and toss it into the darkness when I heard a knock on the door.
Looking in the mirror, my face was wild with the fear of discovery, the million versions of me reflecting from one mirrored surface to the other and back again, hunching down, preparing to hide a dark secret for myself and for Penny and for all those other girls.
“Ben wouldn’t knock,” I whispered to myself. “It can’t be Ben because he wouldn’t—”
“Hello? Is anybody in there?”
I laughed, loud and strong, releasing all of my nervous energy, then stood and walked to the door, zipping the pocket on my jacket to offer Ben’s phone as much protection as I could.
“Mia Pia?”
“Hadley?!” Something scraped the door, and then the handle began to twist. As the door swung open, Mia shouted, “We had no idea where you were!”
“I was with Ben. Until he trapped me in here and took off.”
“Are you okay? What’s going on?”
I placed my hands on her cheeks, planting a kiss on her forehead. “What’s going on is that you’re saving me.”
Mia laughed. “The bathroom downstairs has a line a mile long. No way I could wait. It’s just lucky—”
“Look, Mia, I love you, right? But I gotta go.” I started through the door, but she grabbed my hand and yanked me back.
“What are you going to do? Ben’s on the warpath looking for Josh.”
“The first thing I’m going to do is get as far away from this party as I can.”
“Wait for me, then.” Mia sat, her pinched expression softening with the release. “I’ll get Brooklyn and we’ll go with you.”
I shook my head. “No way. You guys can’t come.”
Mia tipped her head to the side. “As if we’re going to just let you face Ben on your own? The asshole locked you in a bathroom, Hadley.”
“You’ll do me more good here. You can keep me posted on what’s going on and … Shit. Scratch that. Ben has my phone.” I couldn’t tell her I had Ben’s. Not until I decided exactly what to do with those pictures of Penny. Of me.
“I have a phone.” Mia stood, buttoning her jeans, and walking to the sink to wash her hands. “You can use it all you want.”
“Thanks, Mia. You’re a lifesaver.” From behind, I grabbed her shoulders and squeezed tight, then held out my hand, waiting for her to make good on her offer.
“Not so fast.” She grabbed a towel and dried her hands before turning to face me. “Only way I’m letting you use it is if you take me with you. Brooklyn, too.”
“Mia, I—”
“No argument, Hadley. You wouldn’t let me deal with this—whatever it is—on my own, would you?”
I shook my head, knowing she was right.
“We’re stronger together.”
“That’s true, but—”
“No buts. Remember how we let Penny go?” Mia’s voice dropped to a shaky whisper. “We knew something was wrong, and we let her leave that party anyway. Alone. No way you’re doing the same thing.”
“I don’t like this.”
“But you know I’m right. Right?”
I sighed. “Yes, okay? You’re right.”
“This’ll be fun.” The glimmer in Mia’s eyes reminded me of Penny’s most devious expression. “An adventure. I’ll grab Brooklyn, and we can head out. Together.”
“Fine. Let’s just get out of here fast.”
We made our way down the front staircase hand in hand. I felt wild, practically tripping my way down the steps, searching for signs of Ben as we reached the halfway point. For a moment, I made eye contact with Sydney Hall, who was standing by the front window in the foyer, staring out at something. I couldn’t imagine her posing for Ben’s camera. With her poise and confidence, she was the kind of girl who would tell any guy who wanted to take naked pictures of her to go to hell. Then again, Ben Baden had ways of getting what he wanted.
Sydney nodded her head sideways, a small and discreet movement, and I followed her gaze. That’s when I saw Nick Rimes, a football player on the JV team, standing on the bottom step with his hands clasped behind his back like a guard. He hadn’t seen me yet. I ducked behind Mia’s shoulder but lost my balance and knocked into her, tripping us both up so much we stumbled right into him. He looked at me, his eyes wide with surprise, and then leaped toward the front door, yanking it open.
Sydney grabbed my wrist, jerked me up, and pulled me out the door, Mia following close behind. Nick was shouting, “Ben! Ben, get your ass over here, dude!”
It was like time slowed down, Sydney’s fingers tightening around my wrist as Mia pressed up against my back. I looked across the street and met Ben’s eyes. He was standing next to his car as someone else leaned inside. Something sparkled and flashed at Ben’s feet, like fallen stars winking out. As Sydney pulled me around the corner of the house toward the backyard, I understood I wasn’t looking at stars. It was glass—broken glass from the driver’s-side window.
I wondered what was so important that Ben would trash his own car to get to it. Especially since a spare set of keys was just a short drive away.
“Go!” Sydney said, releasing my wrist and giving me a little shove.
Mia threw her a look like she was debating which was more important, running or telling Sydney off for pushing me.
“Get out of here,” Sydney said. “Now, you two!”
“What’s going on?” I tried to catch my breath. Fear rocketed through me.
Sydney shook her head. “I have no idea. But if I were you, I wouldn’t wait around to figure it out.” She looked over her shoulder. “Hurry! He’s coming!”
That’s all it took to get me moving: the thought of Ben putting his hands on me, dragging me back up to that bathroom again, or worse.
But then he was there, his hands gripping my arms as they had in the master suite, his eyes wild, chest heaving. I struggled, jerking a
way just as Mia shoved herself between us.
“Keep your hands off her.”
Ben ignored Mia, his eyes flicking over his shoulder, past Sydney to the street, then whipping back to me. “Get out of here, Hadley. I’ll try to hold him off as long as I can, but you need to hide.”
“Hide?”
“Yes!” Ben said, pulling me to him, squeezing me tight. “I left you upstairs to keep you safe. I wanted to lead him away, but now that he’s seen you—”
“Who?” I shoved my forearms against Ben’s chest, untangling myself from his grip. “Who’s seen me? Why the hell does it matter?”
“There’s no time to explain. Just run. As fast as you can. Hide somewhere I won’t think to find you. I’ll text you when it’s safe.”
“You have my phone. You took it when you locked me in—”
“Shit.” Ben looked back again. “He’s coming. I’ll text Mia, okay? I’ll find a way to reach you. Just remember, you’re not safe until I say so.” Ben pushed me away. “Now go!”
Mia’s fingers were like steel, wrapping around my wrist, pulling me away from the house, through a crowd of people milling around a keg, and down the slope of the backyard.
I heard a voice, scratchy, full of rage, lashing out like a whip. “Where is she?”
“She got away,” Ben replied.
“What the fuck is going on here, Baden?”
Whoever the guy was, he’d just asked the question spiraling through my mind. I wasn’t about to stick around for the answer.
My feet pounded the ground, the thick grass threatening to suck me under. My breath was coming in heaving bursts as Mia and I disappeared into the darkness blanketing the golf course. We twisted into a cluster of trees, seeking the cover of deeper shadows, and raced past the thirteenth hole, our hands fisted tight, swinging wildly as we veered away from the course and into the labyrinth of the woods. We ran as fast as we could possibly go, the night sky sweeping above us, the moon and the stars urging us forward.
14
A Million Times Goodnight Page 7