A Friendly Arrangement

  And if he did change the game, and she didn’t want to play along—what would happen to their friendship?

  He closed his eyes, and images of Holly laughing, smiling, taunting him with her mischievous eyes—and laying beneath him in the throes of passion, her hair spread around her head in a sexy mess, small gasps escaping her lips every time he thrust inside her—filled his mind.

  He rubbed his eyes as if that would erase the pictures. He didn’t want to lose their friendship, and it might not be too late if they talked out their feelings.

  Exactly. Think about your plan of action. Talk it out. Put things back the way they were.

  Was that even possible?

  Chapter Ten

  Holly strolled up to the entrance of her condo arm in arm with Grams between her and Hailey.

  The three of them had enjoyed dinner. They’d even tried out a new-to-them restaurant in Rockford—Reds on the River. Holly had ordered the rack of lamb, but it hadn’t compared to her simple meatball dinner with Roth. Or maybe it was the company that hadn’t compared. She may love Grams and her sister, but she now loved Roth, too. And spending time with him trumped everyone else on her list.

  The bummer of the entire situation was that she didn’t know if he felt the same, or if he ever could. They’d gone into this eyes wide open. Their sexcapade was supposed to be fun and carefree. Would it still be fun if one of them loved the other and the feelings weren’t returned? Sounds like heartache, if you ask me.

  Roth didn’t want commitment any more than she did—had. She doubted he’d changed his tune because they’d enjoyed sex.

  She’d probably been the worst dinner companion tonight. Try as she might, she hadn’t been able to get him out of her mind. Sure, she’d joined in the conversation and seemed to make all the appropriate nods and laughs at just the right time, but if anybody asked her what they’d talked about, she wouldn’t be able to tell them.

  As they neared the front entrance all her worries crashed down around her again. Roth would be inside. When she got up to her condo, he’d be right across the hall. Only feet away.

  They hadn’t spoken since Friday morning. Okay, that’d been one day ago—thirty-six hours to be exact—but they’d only exchanged a few short texts. He’d let her know he’d be out of town next week and planned to leave early tomorrow morning. His last text had asked her to water his plants.

  He had no clue the turmoil she was in. Could she tell him? They’d agreed to keep things open… But she wasn’t ready yet. She’d barely had a chance to wrap her mind around her feelings, let alone try to talk about them with the man responsible for the biggest shift in her life. Who’d have thought after only a few weeks her life would change so much?

  She sighed. This hadn’t been a sudden burst of feelings. Obviously, she’d felt this way for a while. The change had been that she’d finally opened her eyes to see.

  Although the idea of him leaving town and not being right across the hall unsettled her, the news had come at a perfect time. She wouldn’t have to worry about what she’d say and do if she saw him or had to talk to him. There wouldn’t be a chance she’d blurt something out at an inappropriate time. His trip would give her a chance to think. She had some decisions to make.

  For one. Now that she’d fallen in love with him, she had to come clean. Per their arrangement. But at the same time, she wanted to hold on to what she did have with him. Could she just keep her mouth shut and enjoy the intimacy they shared? Would it be enough? How long could she suffer in silence?

  Not long enough.

  She couldn’t do that, anyway. They’d agreed to be honest and up-front.

  Maybe she really hadn’t fallen in love, and her little chat with Roth wasn’t needed. All life’s stresses combined with the best sex of her life could be killing off her brain cells and her ability to think. Could she have confused sex with love? Had all the things going on in her life made her want to reach out for something she could put a name to? Had she chosen the wrong name? Lust, love…weren’t they pretty close? Somehow she doubted her emotions had anything to do with confusion.

  She came back to the moment with a thud when Grams bumped her hip playfully as they entered the courtyard outside the building entrance.

  “I’m sorry again to inconvenience you girls”—Grams’s attention bounced between them—“but I know you understand how this old bladder works. When I have to go, I have to go.”

  Holly bumped her hip back, gripping her arm a little tighter at the same time. She had to force Roth out of her head. She certainly didn’t want to end the night with two of the most important women in her life on a low note. At least until she was in her condo and alone.

  Hailey chuckled. “No worries. It’s a good idea for us both to use the restroom before we drive home.”

  “You two act like you have an hour’s drive ahead of you instead of twenty minutes.” Holly grinned, happy her smile wasn’t forced.

  “Is there a bathroom on the main level? The ride up the elevator to your place will take too long,” Grams said.

  “Sure, Grams. Just past the community room.” Holly smiled at Bob as he opened the door and gave Grams a wink. No matter where Grams went she made friends.

  Holly steered the trio right. That would take them past the gym and community room and then to the bathrooms.

  Loud voices and jazz music filtered out from the community room.

  “Oh, sounds like a party.” Grams perked up as they approached.

  “It’s Saturday. Someone probably reserved the room for an event.” Holly slowed so she could take a peek inside the narrow windows as they passed. Sounded like everyone inside was having a good time.

  Before she could get a peek, the double doors flew open, and her parents, brothers, and their wives fell out of the room with a sea of smiling faces behind them.

  “Happy birthday!” It seemed like a hundred voices yelled out in unison.

  Holly jumped, and Hailey let out an excited shriek. Holly looked at all the people crowded behind her family and recognized several faces from her mom’s office, other family members, neighbors, several of her and Hailey’s friends from college, and many others, even a few faces she didn’t recognize but assumed Hailey would know. A cloud of excitement settled around her, and her pulse raced with anticipation as her bug-eyed expression took in the scene. She threw her hand to her throat.

  How’d their family manage to get all these people here on the same night? There had to be at least a hundred, maybe more.

  Grams giggled like a young girl and hugged Hailey and Holly tight. “Gotcha. You’re too easy.”

  Hailey grabbed Holly’s arm and laughed. “Can you believe this?” She turned toward everyone. “How’d you guys pull this off? Blake, I can’t believe you didn’t blab.” She kissed her husband soundly on the mouth.

  “Nicely done.” Holly laughed and hugged her sister, her brothers, and her parents last. This surprise would surely get her mind off her troubles, at least for tonight. Everyone gathered around and more hugs and well wishes were exchanged as Holly and her sister were pulled into the room.

  The sick feeling that had swirled in her belly the last few days disappeared as she eyed all the people who’d taken time out of their lives to be here with them. She was a lucky girl. She had an amazing group of family and friends.

  Someone shoved a beer into her hand, and her gut clenched. If only she liked beer, it would be the perfect start to the party. Instead, she weaved her way through the crowd—stopping here and there to accept a few kisses and more congratulations. She finally reached the bar and requested a cranberry juice, telling the bartender to enjoy the beer himself, but he merely smiled and put the bottle off to the side. Even the thought of wine or a wine spritzer upset her belly—she’d been a bit nerved up lately.

  Holly took a small sip of her juice and closed her eyes. She missed Roth. She should text him to come down and join the party. After all, he’d be gone all week. This would be her last c
hance to see him.

  But maybe she wasn’t ready to see him quite yet. All her emotions were raw, close to the surface. Seeing him might throw her further off-balance.

  Gawd, can you be any more indecisive?

  Hailey sauntered up beside her, jabbed her in the side with her elbow, and then smiled at the bartender. “Can I have a cranberry juice, please?”

  The bartender nodded and pulled out a frosted mug, filling it with Hailey’s drink.

  “I thought you were all about your cranberry juice being mixed with a little Absolut vodka.” Holly nudged her sister in the shoulder.

  “I have a secret.” Hailey leaned in. “You’re the first person I’m telling, even before Blake. You know how the moment I become pregnant I can’t stomach the thought of alcohol, or Wheaties cereal?”

  “Or look at raw hamburger?”

  Hailey’s face beamed. “Yes. Well, I think I’m preggers. I haven’t missed a period yet, but I just have this feeling.”

  “That’s awesome.” Holly set her glass on the bar and hugged her sister, being careful not to spill Hailey’s juice in the process.

  “Now, mum’s the word until I know for sure. I took a test and it came back negative, but so did the one I took when I was pregnant with Rochelle. I have an appointment with Dr. Brady on Tuesday.”

  “What is my lovely wife up to, besides looking more beautiful at twenty-six than she did at twenty-five?” Blake came up beside them, nuzzling Hailey’s ear until she giggled.

  Holly watched them, a warm glow spreading over her. She loved her family so much. And Hailey’s news was exciting, but at the same time a niggle of fear washed over her. Her love of cereal had been fairly quashed lately. And… Could her own aversion to alcohol have something to do with her being…

  No way. Don’t even go there. You are so not pregnant. You’re on the pill. And you’ve never liked Wheaties, and all the hamburger you see is cooked and just fine.

  She took a mouthful of her cranberry juice and washed away that nagging voice in her head. She hadn’t missed a period, either. She didn’t need her overactive imagination to add more stress onto the pile she already balanced. The bartender topped off her glass, and she turned from the bar, letting her gaze travel the room, a smile plastered to her lips as she pushed anything but fun thoughts out of her head.

  At the same time realization hit that she’d also taken antibiotics—and in effect had made her contraception less effective—she spotted him. Her stomach dropped to her knees.

  Roth.

  All her emotions clamored in her chest until she couldn’t breathe. But one emotion pushed its way to the top. Excitement at seeing him tingled across her arms and legs, while at the same time beads of sweat danced over her brow and nape because she didn’t know if she could act normal. Her feelings were a jumbled mass of confusion over their—their friendship, relationship, whatever you wanted to call it—and now he was here at a family function. In the flesh.

  Roth stood among her brothers and Uncle Glen, who said something that she couldn’t hear from across the room. They all laughed and then Uncle Glen slapped Andrew on the back, made another gut busting comment, and turned to make his way toward Aunt Rose, his wife.

  Holly didn’t stop to think, because if she had she’d have stayed glued to the spot for the duration of the night. She made her way to where Roth stood yukking it up with Andrew and Alex. The way they laughed and talked you’d think they’d known one another forever. Of course—almost from day one—she’d known how well he’d fit into her family.

  She approached, and Roth’s eyes brightened. She could feel her uncertainty affecting her smile as she worked to keep it from wavering too much. You can do this. Be normal. She’d gauge the situation, chat him up, then decide if they needed to talk tonight, or if things could wait until he returned—when she had her emotions on more stable ground. And, more than likely, when he wasn’t preoccupied with a trip that he probably wasn’t thrilled about making.

  Holly cleared her throat and gave her brothers a smile before her gaze landed on Roth. His face softened, and he leaned forward to give her a kiss on the cheek. “Happy birthday.”

  “Happy birthday, sis.” Andrew and Alex said in unison. Alex leaned forward and pecked her check, and Andrew squeezed her shoulder.

  “Quite a surprise?” Andrew asked.

  Holly nodded. “I can’t believe you pulled this off without someone slipping up.”

  “It was all Dad. I don’t think he even told Mom or Grams until the last minute.” Alex grinned.

  “A smart move on his part,” Andrew said as he looked over her shoulder and held up his hand, signaling his wife, Susie, he’d be there in a minute. “I better get going. Looks like Suze can use my help.”

  Holly looked over her shoulder in time to see her nephew Eric with two fists full of cupcakes and a steely look of determination that he wanted more. Susie looked like she had her hands more than full with his demands.

  “I’m going to take off, too. We got a sitter for the kids, and this is the first night in months Mia and I have had a night out, and I’d like to enjoy some time with her.” Alex gave her another kiss on the forehead and sauntered toward his wife who sat talking with Grams.

  And then they were alone.

  Holly turned toward Roth. She swiped her sweaty palms on her dress and cleared her throat. “I was just thinking about calling you and inviting you down.”

  “Your mom beat you to it. She came up about thirty minutes ago to see if I could come down and help surprise you.” He shifted as he took a swig of beer. “The look of surprise on your face when you and Hailey walked in was priceless.”

  “They definitely got us. Keeping secrets in this family is a huge feat to pull off. I really can’t believe Grams didn’t blab at dinner.” She laughed, but the sound came out forced. “I’m glad you made it down, though. Now you can really see how crazy this family is.”

  “Your brothers are great. And your dad—”

  “Is the best.”

  He nodded. “I can see him in both your brothers.”

  “Actually, you remind me a lot of him, too.” She sipped her juice.

  “Another compliment.”

  She liked that he thought her comparison to her father was a compliment. One she truly meant.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t—” they both said at the same time and laughed.

  “You first,” he said.

  An invisible line of discomfort seemed to connect them, but Holly shook it off. This was Roth. She might be in love with him, but it was no reason she couldn’t act like herself. “I was going to say that I’m sorry I haven’t stopped by or done anything more than text since Friday.”

  His grin spread across his features, and she softened inside. “I was going to say the same thing. With getting ready to take off in the morning, finishing up some work, and life in general, my schedule’s been a bit tight.”

  She nodded. That right there convinced her to wait to talk to him until he got back. Or is that an excuse because you’re a chickenshit?

  “You got my text about the plants?”

  She nodded. “No problem. But the same rule applies as always. I won’t—”

  “Be held responsible if one of them doesn’t make it.”

  Their shared laughter threw the tension swirling around her gut right out the window. Nothing could deter their easy camaraderie. Her doubts, fears, or even her newfound feelings. She wouldn’t let their friendship be affected because she’d fallen in love with her best friend.

  He glanced at his watch. “I really can’t stay much longer. I’m sorry, Holl.”

  “No. Don’t even worry about it. I’m just glad you had a chance to come down and grab a beer.”

  He grabbed her glass, placing it on the table before he pulled her into a big, warm hug. He rubbed the top of her head with his chin and then whispered, “Happy birthday again, Holl.”

  “Thanks, Roth.” She rubbed his sturdy hand as he caressed
her shoulder. “You should grab one more beer for the road.”

  “I actually want to stop by and say hi to your grandma before I head up, but I might grab a beer on the way.”

  His deep voice soothed her, and she sagged against him.

  “Remember when you told me how lucky a girl you are?” He squeezed her tight.

  She nodded, pulling back to meet his gaze.

  He smiled and turned her around to look out over the room. From behind, his strong arms wrapped around her shoulders, squeezing her tight as he leaned to whisper in her ear. “Look at all the people who came to celebrate your birthday. I wish I could stay longer. Enjoy yourself tonight. Everyone loves you.”

  Except you.

  “I’ll see you when I get back.”

  Her gut clenched, and her racing heart came to a jarring stop. When he returned they’d have to talk. She wouldn’t be able to put it off. It was only fair that he knew how things had changed on her end. From there, they’d have to decide if they should continue, or go back to a hands-off way of life.

  Would that even be possible? After tasting sugar, could you really go sugar-free?

  Panic swirled around her, and the air became claustrophobic. Tears burned the back of her eyes and throat, but she refused to cry as he touched his mouth to her temple and gave her one final squeeze before releasing her.

  She couldn’t speak as she watched him walk away.

  Their arrangement should’ve been nothing but fun. But it had ended up being much more serious, and she didn’t know how to handle it.

  She felt sweaty, overheated, as if she needed to sit down, or get out of here. At least away from her brother Andrew’s probing eyes as he studied her from across the room.

  She averted her gaze, as if that’d stop his steady inspection. This week would seem like forever, but at least it would give her the space she needed to prepare.

  She’d barely had time to catch her breath before Mom and Hailey made a beeline in her direction. Their smiles gave her all the warning she needed. She was about to be introduced to the next contestant in the search for Holly’s husband.