He shrugged. “She might not have been wasted, but something was up with her.”
If she’d taken a hit before she came in, Ava might not have seemed drunk. I’d seen her jittery and hyper-alert. I’d also seen her sluggish and drowsy, slumped on furniture like a rag doll.
“Explain.”
“Buddy, are you going to order something?” He gestured to the handful of tables behind me. “I got lunch customers.”
“Fine.” I reached for my wallet. “Gimme a Coke and tell me what happened.”
The guy swiped the twenty I pushed his way. “Here or to go?” he asked.
“To go.” While I’d waited for the manager to come up front, I’d called Legend’s and NiteTown, two of the other bars within easy walking distance, but no one had answered. Tsunami and Agave were open for lunch, so I’d try them next.
The manager plucked a Styrofoam cup from the stack behind the bar and filled it with ice. “She came in about ten minutes before we closed and ordered a flight of tequila.”
I let go a sigh.
Ava, why?
I shut my eyes and absorbed the blow. I opened them and glared at the bartender. “And you served her?” The words came out like a growl. A snarl.
He set the soft drink on the bar and ogled me like I was crazy. “Dude,” he said, turning his palms up and glancing around, “it’s a bar. That’s what we do.”
Get a hold of yourself.
I palmed my face and rubbed my eyes until I saw stars.
“She your girlfriend?” the bartender asked, curiosity shifting his tone.
I met his gaze. He looked less annoyed now. More neutral. I shook my head. “She’s my sister. She’s a recovering addict. And she didn’t come home last night.”
The guy’s eyebrows ticked up. “Well, she wasn’t here long. Like I said, she came in right at last call. I served her and told her she needed to drink up and go. Fifteen minutes later, she was still staring at her shots.”
I blinked. “Wait. What?”
He dipped his forehead in a tight nod. “Yep. She ordered, paid, and then stared at the flight like it was a fuckin’ crystal ball.”
“D-did she drink it?”
The guy shrugged again. “I told her to wrap it up, and I went into the back to lock up the office. When I came back, she was gone and my girl Christine was washing the glasses.”
“Is Christine here now?” I asked, hopeful.
The manager coughed a laugh. “No. She won’t be back ‘til Wednesday.” He shook his head. “All I can tell you for sure is the girl was here until just after midnight, and she left alone.”
I could tell I wasn’t going to get more than that, but it was better than nothing. I grabbed my drink and turned for the door.
“You don’t want your change?” he called to my back.
“Keep it.”
I sucked down a cold swallow of corn syrup and carbonation. I was thirsty. I was hungry, and I was scared as shit. All I could think about was the last time. How I’d found Ava the last time.
Stepping out into a bright blue, I squinted at the cloudless sky. It was a perfect spring day. A month from now, everyone would be greedy for AC, but today, the weather was heaven. And I wasn’t sure if Ava was even alive. Again. How many more times would I have to go through this?
I should have let Elise come with me. Just having her by my side would have softened the edges of my fear. Blunted my anger. Even the thought of her made the despair weigh a little less.
I needed her.
Tsunami, the upscale sushi restaurant that also had a decent bar, was just across the street. Would they have been open after midnight? Would Ava have wanted to go there if it had been? The crowd would have been a little old for her.
But then again, Ava had sought out older men before. Anyone who could finance her junk.
I groaned at the thought, and my mind reached for Elise.
I dug out my phone to call her and saw with a jolt I had two missed calls. Both from her.
“Shit.” She’d called while I was in Marley’s. I tapped her contact, ignoring the red dot on my phone telling me she’d left voicemails.
Her line rang. And rang. And went to voicemail.
“Fuck.” I pulled my phone away from my ear and tapped her first message.
“Hey, it’s me. Call me back… It’s about Ava.”
My breath stuck in my throat. What the hell? I played her second message.
“Me again. Sorry. I don’t know where she is or anything, but I… I guess… I mean, maybe I just learned something… Sorry. Sorry. Just call me back.”
Elise knew something. And she sounded worried. The desire to comfort her was both irrational and undeniable. She was worried for Ava. She was worried for me. By the sound in her voice, she knew something that should have rattled me.
But the first thing I felt was the urge to reassure her. To go to her.
My car was parked on the other side of Jefferson Street, so I crossed to it and tried her number again. But again, she didn’t answer.
“Babe, I got your message. Where are you? What’s happening? Pick up, okay?”
I got behind the wheel and started the car just as my phone rang. But it wasn’t Elise. It was Flora. I answered, frowning.
“Flora? Is Elise with you?”
“She and Ava both,” Flora said. And at her words, I should have felt relief, but the distress in her voice set my senses on high alert.
“What’s going on?”
“A lot’s going on,” Flora answered. “And I can’t fathom any of it. I got Ava and Elise with me, and neither of them want to talk to you. So, you tell me. What’s going on?”
I drove — no, sped — trying Elise’s number the entire way. Ava was alive and safe, Flora had reassured me. They were headed to Flora’s apartment. Elise was going, too. Yes, of course I was welcome. No, she couldn’t put either of them on the phone.
Fuck me.
What the hell had happened? What had I done wrong this time?
All I wanted was Ava’s wellbeing and Elise’s love. The red light at Pinhook and South College stopped me. I jabbed the red circle on my dash screen and ended the fruitless call. Resting my elbows on the steering wheel, I squeezed my forehead.
I wanted more than her love.
I wanted her with me. Day in and day out. I wanted her body stretched out beside mine every night. I wanted to offer her happiness and fulfillment with my hands. I wanted to own a controlling share of her smiles.
If Ava didn’t want to talk to me, I could stand it. She might be angry. She might be afraid of my disappointment. And, hell yeah, I was disappointed, and I didn’t think I could hide it. Just days ago, she’d let me know just how much of a hand I’d had in her struggles. Maybe she blamed me for this setback. Maybe she blamed me for everything.
I could handle that. As long as she was alive, we had time to work out the past.
But Elise was refusing to talk me, and I wanted to climb the walls.
The light turned green, and I gunned into the intersection, my tires shrieking. Yeah, I was the asshole in two o’clock traffic weaving my way past school buses and carpool moms.
If she sent me away, I wouldn’t be able to go. If she tried to ignore me for eight years, I’d come unglued.
How could I have done that to her?
The interior of my car erupted in Weezer’s “Hash Pipe,” making me jump. Without thinking, I pressed the green answer button on the dash screen.
“OLD KING COLE WAS A VERY OLD SOUL AND A VERY OLD SOUL WAS HE!” Louis’s voice boomed through the cab.
“Jesus Christ, Louis,” I swore.
His laughter bounced off the Audi’s interior, and I turned down the volume. “You driving? Not trapped behind the desk in your new office, old man?” he asked, his words squeaking with his natural cheer.
“No,” I bit out. “Today’s gone to shit. I need to go—”
“Whoa, wait—” Louis’s tone instantly sobered. “What’s
wrong? Is Ava okay?”
I filled my lungs and let them empty. I didn’t want to come out and admit the truth. Saying it aloud made it even worse. “I don’t know.”
“Cole… shit, man,” he said gently. Louis knew all too well what the years had been like. Even as a confirmed pothead, he’d been relieved for me — and for Ava — when she’d gone into treatment. “Can’t tell you how bummed I am to hear that. What happened?”
I wanted to keep it in, but I found myself spilling my guts. “She’d been doing great since she got back, but last night… she left in the middle of the night and didn’t come home.”
“Damn,” he murmured. “Any idea where she is? I can be there tonight if you need me to be—”
“No, no. She’s safe. Flora has her. I’m headed over to her place now.”
“Flora?” I heard his surprise and then his delight. “You mean our Flora?”
In spite of my grim mood, I mustered a chuckle. Louis had always loved Flora. Who didn’t? “Yeah, our Flora.” I told him. “We looked her up a couple of weeks ago… and I… I… um…” I found myself floundering. I wanted to tell him about Elise, but I didn’t know where to start.
“What?” Louis pressed, sounding worried.
I cleared my throat. “You remember Flora’s daughter, Elise?”
“You mean the one you had a crush on but never talked about?” His pointed question stuck me right between the eyes. Had it been that obvious?
“Yeah, that one,” I admitted hoarsely.
“She still single?” I could almost see him perking with interest, leaning in. As though I could hear his focus sharpening. “You finally taking your shot?”
I sniffed a laugh. How did he know me so well? “She is. And I am.”
“But?”
I shook my head in disbelief. “Did Bree take away your stash or something? You’re unusually astute today.”
“Fuck you, man. Tell me what’s wrong. You sound like a sad sack.”
I laughed, despite being a sad sack. I turned onto Kaliste Saloom without peeling out. Louis’s well-timed call had literally slowed my roll.
“There’s some history I haven’t told you about,” I confessed.
“With Elise Cormier? Old King Cole, you sly bastard!” Louis sounded both scandalized and inordinately pleased.
My laugh now was bitter. “You’ve got the bastard part right,” I muttered. “I cut her loose back then. I’ve made a lot of mistakes for someone who’s not even thirty, but that was one of the biggest.”
He tsked. “And you wondered why I made valedictorian and you didn’t.”
“Asshole.” I chuckled.
“So, what’s the deal? You seeing her or not? She tell you to get lost?”
I swallowed. “I’m afraid she will.”
“Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Fool me once and all that,” he mused.
I could picture him nodding, stroking his nonexistent beard. Even now he could only sprout a barely-there blond patch on his chin.
“Yep. It could happen.”
A panic — so different from the kind I’d often felt growing up or living with Ava — poured through me. I found myself unable to speak. Acute silence filled the car.
“You know what I’d do if Bree ever decided to leave me.” It wasn’t a question, but the very thought of Louis and Bree parting ways seemed unnatural. I just couldn’t imagine it.
“What would you do?” I asked, hoping my stoner best friend had some kernel of wisdom to share after loving the same woman for twelve years.
“Go with her, of course,” he snapped as though my question were profoundly stupid. “That woman’s never getting rid of me.”
Louis, who couldn’t breathe without making a joke, was, perhaps for the first time in my memory, completely serious.
“Yeah, but she’d never do that.”
This time, his laugh sounded rueful. “Hell, man, you think she’s never tried? With me flunking out of college, walking around in a cloud of ganja for two years straight? The year we turned twenty, she’d been telling me to clean up my act and get my shit together.” His voice dipped with chagrin. “At the time, I took it as more of theoretical suggestion. Until one day, I came back to our apartment, and discovered she’d moved half her stuff to her friend Rachel’s.”
I reeled at this. “You never told me that.”
I heard him sigh. “Well, you had problems of your own, my friend.” The teasing note returned. “Besides, with as many times as you warned me not to fuck things up with Bree, I was sure the minute you heard, you’d try to swoop in and stake a claim.”
The temptation was too great. Stirring up his jealous streak had always been too much fun. “I might have.”
“Hey, now,” he warned. “If things don’t work out with you and Elise, I’ve got some buddies back home who’d love—”
“Shut the fuck up, man.” The words, almost feral, left me without permission. Louis burst out laughing.
He laughed. And laughed. “Old King Cole! The. King. Is. Dead. Long live the king!” he howled.
I rolled my eyes and braked as I approached Flora’s apartment complex. “So, what did you do—” I interrupted. “—when Bree left your sorry ass?”
His laughter dried up. I heard him clear his throat. “I followed her to Rachel’s.” Again, he spoke as if my question were beyond vapid.
“And she took you back? Just like that?”
“No.” Now he sounded pissed, as though the memory still rankled. “I slept in the hall outside Rachel’s apartment until the neighbors complained, and Rachel let me in. And then I begged for mercy.”
I suppressed a chuckle. “How long did that take?” I’d slowed to obey the ten-mile-per-hour speed limit of Flora’s complex. Her building was at the far end of the development. But even as I tried to distract myself with Louis’s story, my heart pounded in anticipation. My Elise was here, and something was very wrong.
“Two days and two nights,” Louis reported grimly. “That hallway was wretched.”
“You mean after you slept there?”
“Bastard,” he hissed. “I had no choice. Rachel lived with her brother, Cade, this dark-haired mangelic who was on the rowing crew at UT. Every time we’d hung out at Rachel’s, that pabster couldn’t take his bedroom eyes off Bree.”
I pictured Elise moving in with a Cade, and I almost couldn’t choke down my bile. When we’d met a couple of weeks ago at the gallery, it had been just shy of a setup. What if Ross had asked someone else besides me? Where would Elise be now?
I pulled into a parking spot in the lot outside Flora’s apartment and killed the engine. “Louis, thanks for calling, but I gotta go.”
“I get it, man. Go make things right.”
“Thanks, L. Give Bree my love.”
“Will do. And give Elise mine. It’d be great to see her again. To see the two of you together, I mean.” Again, this rare streak of seriousness almost addled me.
“I’d like that, too.”
“And Cole?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t fuck this up.”
I blew out a laughing breath. “I’ll do my best.”
Before I could even shut the driver’s side door, Flora stepped out of her apartment, her face lined with worry. My guts turned to lead.
I closed the distance between us. “How bad is it?”
“Your sister says she’d rather die than look you in the face.” Sorrow seemed to drag down the corners of her eyes.
“What about Elise?”
Flora’s mouth tightened. “I just don’t understand a word she’s saying.”
“What’s she saying?” I asked, moving to her front door.
Flora shook her head. “Just ignore it. Take care of your sister. Elise will sort herself out.”
I pushed open the door and scanned the empty living room.
“Ava’s in the spare room,” Flora offered.
I’d only been as far as the kitchen the last time I’d come, so I hea
ded down the hall, expecting Elise to be with Ava. Flora followed at my heels.
I reached an open doorway to my left and found my sister, alone, stretched out on the bed, her eyes aimed at the ceiling. I turned back to Flora.
“Where’s Elise?”
Flora’s eyes widened in surprise, and she looked to Ava. “Cole, she needs your forgiveness.”
“She can wait. Where’s Elise?”
A frown pinched between her brows. “Cole—”
“Elise!” I shouted, spinning back to the hall. Two closed doors, one farther down and to the right and one at the end of the hall, stood in my way.
“What in heaven are you do—”
“ELISE!” She had to hear me. No way she couldn’t hear me. I stopped at the first door. “Why won’t you talk to me? What did I do?”
Flora approached me. “Honey, she’s in my bedroom,” she said gently, pointing to the door farther down the hall. Her look of surprise was gone, but now she wore one of concern. “Why don’t you just give her a minute? She was pretty upset.”
I moved to the door — just as I heard a click. I froze, expecting Elise to open the door and let me in. But after a long moment it hit me.
She wasn’t opening the door. She was locking it.
What the fuck?!
My jaw set. I’d never been angry with Elise — not in my whole life — but I was angry now. I inhaled a slow breath and willed myself to calm down.
I raised my fist, knocked gently three times, and waited. Nothing.
Lowering my voice, I lean toward the doorsill. “Baby, would you just please talk to me? I don’t understand what’s going on.”
A sound, faint and muffled, came through the door. I leaned closer, pressing my ear right to the sill. And I heard sobbing.
Elise was crying.
My anger drained right out of me. But a desperate urgency took its place. “Elise, baby, open the door,” I pleaded. “I can hear you’re upset.”
A few stifled squeaks and then the sound of sniffling. I heard movement, and I knew she’d approached the door.
“Cole, I’m s-sorry.” She spoke low, her voice hoarse, her words for me only. “I didn’t want it to be like this. I t-tried, but I j-just can’t.”
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