She swallows and locks her fingers around my wrist. “And why do you keep closing your fingers? You got hurt…” She lifts my hand and examines the ugly, jagged scar running between my thumb and pointer. Her eyes lift to mine and her voice goes so soft I can barely hear it. “What happened to you out there?”
I want to hide. I want to fucking disappear. If this were anyone else touching me like this, asking me questions, I’d push them away. I’d tell them to mind their own goddamned business. But this is my Daisy. And for some reason, it feels like she has a right to know.
I clear my throat and stick my tongue into the flesh of my cheek. “An explosive,” I tell her, my throat closing with shame. “Was on foot patrol. Stepped on it. Everything went boom!”
There’s so much more to say to give her the adequate explanation she deserves but I’m having a hard time stringing words together. It’s tearing me down, having to admit to her that I’m a broken man. Having to see that look of sheer horror on her face.
I glance down at my fingers and try to make light of the situation. “It’s not that bad now. At one point, it my thumb was literally dangling off my hand. Guess a piece of shrapnel sawed it off.” I exhale roughly. “The doctors stitched me back together. But I think they got some of the wires crossed,” I joke. “That’s why the nerves still bother me now and then.”
That’s the understatement of the day. The nerve pain is agony and I live with it every single day.
She chases tears from her eyes with her knuckles. “And what about your leg?” she forces out.
I draw my tongue across my lips and then purse them for a second. My forehead wrinkles. Shame. Regret. Anger.
“Oh my god…” she whispers.
I can’t say the words but she knows. She knows my leg is gone, half of it blown out right below the knee.
My mortification strangles me, lodging itself into my throat. My eyes hit the cracked pavement in front of me.
She steps closer and I smell her. That gorgeous floral scent makes my head light.
I wanna be with her.
But I can’t. I cut the thought off in its tracks. “I caused some real drama at work the other day. I can’t be doing that sort of thing, y’know? I can’t just stomp into town and start causing trouble for Charlie and Leo. They went through a lot of shit to get to their lives in order. I can’t just come here and flip everything upside down.” Finally, I look up at her sorrow-soaked face. “So, I’m gonna leave.”
Her arms fold tighter around the dozing baby on her chest. “Leave? As in leave town?”
I rock back onto my heels. “Yes…”
Her chin trembles slightly. Her dark eyes well with tears.
I reach out and softly pinch her chin between my fingers. “Hey…Don’t you fucking cry.”
The tears come, anyway. They flow faster than I can push them away.
“God—I don’t…” Her words trail off but her eyes tell me she has so much to say.
She checks over her shoulder, glimpsing the children playing inside through the front window. Then slowly, she comes closer. Her tongue pokes out and wets her lips. One soft, small hand comes up, tenderly clasping my cheek. She rises onto her toes and presses our lips together.
My inhale is sharp and her scent overwhelms me with longing. Wildflowers. A field of wildflowers. My hand slowly slides down her hip. I squeeze softly and she hums low in her chest. She responds by running her hands down my shoulders and arms as I suck her bottom lip into my mouth.
My mind takes off, toying with possibilities. I could stay. I could just stay in Copper Heights. And claim this woman. Make her mine the way I should have the very first night we met. Because heaven knows, she’s the first woman who’s ever made me consider putting down roots. She’s the only woman’s who’s ever made it seem worth it to fight my demons, just so I could come out on the other side and see the smile on her face.
But the truth is, while I might act tough on the outside, I’m no match for the bully inside my head who keeps telling me that a woman like Sophia would never settle for me. Especially now that she knows the whole truth about my mangled body.
When she pulls back from the kiss, I know this is goodbye. This can’t end any other way.
My eyes move over her features one last time, memorizing every inch of her face as if they aren’t already indelibly tattooed on my brain. The wisps of hair falling over her face. Her fair skin, so smooth and perfect. Her full lips and trembling chin. Her dark eyes swimming in tears.
Fuck…
A stuttered breath works its way out of Sophia’s lungs when I stoke the head of the beautiful, dark-haired child sleeping on her chest. So much innocence. I remind myself that it was all worth it. Yes, I suffered. I lost parts of myself that I’ll never be able to get back. But all the things I endured during and after my last overseas mission were worth it if it means that a precious, little kid like this can live in a safe neighborhood.
Despite what it cost me, it was worth it.
I nod slightly and bring two fingers to my temple in salute.
“Take care, Daisy.” I turn toward the sidewalk to limp away from the person who forever holds my heart.
There’s a stutter in her breath when she says, “Take care, Tony.”
And then, I jog off before my heart explodes right here on her front lawn.
14
sophia
Las Vegas
Two years ago, 9:50 P.M.
Most people wear a grin to mask how much they hate their job. Some people don't even bother.
The surly waitress slaps down a cloudy glass of room-temperature water in front of me and one in front of Tony. "Your food’s comin’.”
The rubber soles of her running shoes squeak loud as hell when she turns on her heel and stomps back toward the kitchen.
The décor in here is basically dirty lawn furniture that I’m 100% sure was stolen from somebody’s backyard in the middle of the night. This place isn’t even rated on Yelp. Let alone Zagat. That’s what I get for letting this handsome, wayward man choose the restaurant.
But Tony swore I’d love the burritos at this hole-in-the-wall shack located on a sketchy side street just off the Strip. I’m holding out hope that he’s right. Because the shitty customer service and ugly décor definitely take a backseat to the spicy aroma of steak and grilled chicken wafting in the air and hitting my nostrils.
When he goes off to use the bathroom, I pull my phone out of my purse and check my notifications. Seventeen missed calls and thirty-eight new text messages.
My stomach flips. What did I expect? Everybody and their grandmother wants to know why Copper Heights’s under 30 power couple canceled their much-anticipated wedding at the last minute. I can only imagine the rumors that have started to fly.
I scan through the names in my ‘missed call’ list.
Three calls from Nova.
One from my father.
Seven from Reese.
One from Charlie.
Two from that damn social media company I paid a crapload of money to to blog the shit out of my epic fail wedding. I want to slam my face on a table but the one in front of me is so grimy, I’m sure my forehead would get Krazy-Glued to it.
Anyway, the rest of the calls are from unknown numbers.
Without opening the text messages, I delete everything. Every-goddamned-thing.
I shouldn’t have gone this long without letting my friends know that I’m all right, though. It’s been three hours since I last showed signs of life. Knowing Reese, she’s probably already had a meltdown and forced Charlie and Nova to sweep every inch of the hotel looking for me, forensics investigator style.
I find Nova’s number in my contact list. She’d be the more reasonable one to talk to and she’s more likely to take me at my word when I tell her that I’m okay but just need some space.
Her voice booms through my speaker after two rings. "Sophia? Thank god! We left you at the bar for two minutes and you just snuck out
on us. Reese was convinced you'd gotten kidnapped.”
“Oh boy,” I squeak out.
I imagine Nova nodding her head as she speaks. “Yup. She already started demanding the security tapes. She was about to go all C.S.I.: Las Vegas on the hotel desk clerk. Apparently, she saw some big, hot guy breathing down your neck at the bar earlier. And then, you just disappeared.”
I glance up just as Tony is lowering himself into the plastic chair across from me. “Um, no. No big, hot guys for me tonight.” I chuckle awkwardly and Tony gives me a look of exaggerated offense.
I wince. “Sorry,” I mouth and grin.
In retaliation, he leans across the table and nibbles on my ear. A shock of pleasure runs through me and a little, uncontrolled whimper flies out of me. Satisfied, he smirks as he settles back in his seat.
Nova’s voice rings out again. “Oh, hun. Don’t cry. I’m so sorry that douchebag hurt you.” Her words soothe the part of me sorely in need of comfort.
I sigh heavily. “I should have known better. None of my friends ever liked him. That was a warning sign. I should have paid more attention to your reasons.”
She makes a sympathetic sound. “Do you need company?” she asks. “We’ll come up to your room right now. Then we can raid the newly-wed goodie basket and trash the hotel suite.”
“Um, no.” I shout quickly. “The hotel suite is on my dad’s credit card.” My parents already have reason enough to be disappointed in me. I don’t need to add to that.
“Oh. Never mind, then.” Nova laughs.
I grit my teeth and lie. “Anyway, I just want to spend a quiet evening by myself. To reflect and stuff.”
Right then, the waitress drops two greasy plastic trays on the table and they land with a loud splat!
Nova pauses for a fraction. “Hun, are you listening to merengue music?”
I throw my palm over the mouthpiece to stifle the sound. “Yeah. It’s my fave. Love love love merengue music. Especially when I’m drawing a bath and relaxing with candles and trying to clear my head.” I’m the absolute worst liar.
Nova doesn’t answer immediately. I hear muffled speaking in the background. And then, Reese’s voice bursts through out of nowhere. “Sophia, cough twice if you’re being held captive!”
I bark out a laugh. “I’m not being held captive. I promise.”
“All right,” Nova says finally. “We’ll see you at breakfast?”
Nodding, I say, “See you at breakfast.”
“Get some rest,” she tells me. “And if I'm covered in blood splatter at the breakfast table, don't ask questions you don’t want to have to answer before a grand jury. Because if I run into Joshua Davies tonight, it’s on!”
“Don’t do anything crazy," I warn.
“I can’t make any promises,” she tells me. “Good night, Soph.”
“Good night. Love you, guys.” And then, I hang up.
When I glance up, an intense, dark stare hits me with force. Heat rushes to my cheeks when his lips curve with a smile. “Dig in,” he commands me, pointing his fork at the food laid out in front of me.
I stare down at the enormous mozzarella and black bean steak burrito posing on a bed of crisp lettuce on my plate. I salivate.
“Go ahead,” he prods me. “It tastes as good as it looks.”
Licking my lips, I grab the overstuffed tortilla wrap from the plate and tear into it like a wildcat going in on a fresh carcass. The fusion of heavenly flavors I haven’t tasted in far too long bursts across my tongue.
And…Oh. My. God.
I can’t believe I ever cut this goodness out of my diet. And in the name of fitting into a wedding dress.
A deep, low chuckle travels across the table. Embarrassment blooms in my cheeks and I quickly set down the burrito. I straighten my posture and discreetly brush the crumbs away from my lips with a napkin.
"Pretty good, huh?" Tony’s eyes are alight with amusement as he bites into his own fully-loaded quesadilla.
I give a little nod in agreement.
“Taste mine.” He holds his quesadilla to my lips. “As if bacon wasn’t good enough on its own. They had to go and barbeque it.”
I take a bite. Holy heaven on tortilla bread. What on earth did I just eat?
The groan that comes out of me draws stares from all around the fast food restaurant. For once, I don’t care. Some sort of insanely delicious sauce drips down my chin. Eschewing the napkins, I swipe it away with my fingers. “I’m sorry. It’s just been so long since I ate anything that wasn’t in the diet plan my mother’s personal trainer made me. I’ve been living on steamed broccoli and chickpeas for over a year. This is like Nirvana for me right now.” I gnaw at my burrito.
He leans back in his uncomfortable plastic chair and stretches his legs wide under the table as he takes a sip from his paper soda cup. “Glad to bear witness then.” As he bites into his wrap, his thigh brushes against mine and my chest hitches as my pussy clenches on air. We share a gaze that spikes the temperature in the room to an inferno.
Wait—is burrito an aphrodisiac? Because I’m really getting into this.
“You’re so fucking pretty,” he mumbles with his mouth full.
Face stuffed to the max with food, I blush fiercely. “Thanks.” This is so disorienting. All of it.
When I woke up this morning, I never expected that my day would turn out like this but what I do know is that I’m grateful for the stranger sitting in front of me. And I like him. A lot. More than I should. That scares me.
"Hey..." He taps the blunt end of his fork on my chin. “Where'd you wander off to? Talk to me, Daisy."
I lick sauce from my fingertips. “I need to say something…”
The rainbow of neon lights pouring in from the street dance across his gorgeous features. "One rule tonight,” he tells me. “We tell each other everything, anything. No holding back. It's our one chance to get everything off of our chest."
“Like a confessional at church?" I smile.
"Better than a confessional at church. 'Cause we won't ever see each other again. So we can be completely honest."
I feel a little twinge beneath my ribcage. Because I just met him and I already wish I’d be seeing him again.
He leans forward and takes a bite of his food as he waits for my deep, dark confession.
"No judgement, okay?" My eyes bore into his, needing confirmation that he won't think that I'm a horrible person for what I'm about to say.
"No judgement," he promises with a soft half-smile.
My chest heaves up as I pull in a lungful of air. "I'm a little bit relieved that he didn’t show up." More words rush out to justify the statement. "Don't get me wrong. I love him, err. I loved him. Argh! I don't even know right now. All I know is, he never really was all-in for me. He never went the extra mile for me like I did for him. And now, in hindsight, I can admit that I was terrified knowing I was about to spend my whole life with someone who didn’t love me the way I loved him…so, I'm glad Josh didn't show up today." I feel all kinds of horrible as I say it.
My eyes travel to Tony's and all I see there is compassion. Unwavering compassion.
He drops his fork to his plate and grabs my hand. His voice rumbles low. “He did you a favor, Daisy. He saved you from the biggest mistake of your life. You just don’t realize it yet.”
Man—those words slam me with a major case of the feels.
He purposefully swipes away the tear building in my eye. Like it’s his job. A duty he takes to heart.
And now I wish I could have someone like him in my life. Full-time.
Just my luck that the guy I spend 15 years of my life with turns out to be a jerk. And my rebound-fuck turns out to be something from out of a dream.
“Eat,” he whispers. “The food is getting cold.”
I chew thoughtfully on a bite of my burrito. “Can I ask you something?”
“Go for it.” He digs his fork into his cheesy fries.
“Why did you come up to me
at the bar? I mean, there were literally dozens of beautiful women there. Freakishly beautiful supermodel gazelle-women. And none of them were wearing a wedding gown. And none of them were crying into their martini and blowing snot into the hem of their dress. So why did you choose me?”
He drops down his fork and looks at me earnestly. “Because I needed something special. Not someone just like everyone else. Someone whose face I’d forget the minute she crawled out of my bed. I needed something memorable tonight. Someone memorable. And I could tell you needed that, too.”
My heart clutches as I sit there, silently waiting for him to explain what the hell that means.
He reads the confusion in my expression. “I’m about to activate for pre-deployment. The orders just came down. I’m heading to base tomorrow.”
“You’re in the military?” I hear the shock in my own voice.
He nods. “Special Forces. I could be shipping out any time, starting forty-eight hours from now.”
I swallow. “Oh my god. I had no idea.” I’m not even sure what to ask next. “Where are you going? What will you be doing?”
A little laugh moves across the table. “I can’t tell you much more than that. For national security reasons.”
“Right.” I nod. “Of course.” Understanding dawns on me. “So, that’s why you’re in Vegas. You’re here for one wild night before facing the unknown.”
He flashes his teeth and those glorious dimples pinch his cheeks. “That was the plan. I was supposed to meet with an old military buddy at the bar. We were gonna go cause some trouble. But when I got there, he was arguing with some chick in the corner.”
“What?!” I laugh.
His head bobs. “It looked intense. Like they were gonna start ripping each other’s clothes off. I did not want to get in the middle of that. So, I just slowly backed away. And then I saw you sitting at the bar.”
“And then you saw me sitting at the bar,” I echo. Our eyes lock with intensity.
He reaches across and takes my hand. “I don’t want to be a punk and cry and whine and tell you I’m fucking scared. Because I’m not.” His attention drops to his plate. “It’s just—the last few missions I was on, they got bloody. I lost brothers. Guys who had hopes and dreams and things they never got to accomplish.” He looks up at me. “Life is precious. You’ve got to cherish every moment. And that’s what I want to do tonight. With you.”
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