Slowly, his words settle into my thick skull. I entertain the possibility that he may be right. The possibility that Sophia might love me even if I’m not slaying dragons at every turn.
Maybe I can let me guard down. Maybe I can let love take a hold of me, submerge myself in it, in my family. Maybe…
Charlie bursts into the room, his eyes wide, his energy frantic. “We’ve gotta go, man.” He gives my knee a rough shake then punches Leo in the arm. “We’ve gotta go.”
“What’s going on?” Uneasiness slithers down my spine. I bolt upright.
Charlie’s words send a bolt of shock clear through my heart. “It’s Sophia. She needs you.”
36
Sophia
Las Vegas
Two years ago, 5:49 A.M.
The early morning sun peeks up over the horizon, spreading rays of orange-purple light over the Strip. After catching a Cirque du Soleil show and spending way too much money on casino slot machines, we're on foot, heading back in the direction of the hotel.
The mood is somber. Our respective fates await us and we both look toward the future with something far less than enthusiasm.
I’ve got his suit jacket draped around my shoulders. My expensive wedding dress looks like something that got left behind at the end of a swap meet and I'm limping in my scuffed heels.
Tony glances over at me. “You okay?"
I give a weak smile. “These shoes weren't made for trekking down the Las Vegas Strip at 6:00 in the morning."
With a crooked half-smile and dimples on full display, Antonio crouches down in front of me and pats his back. "Hop on.”
My own lips curl into a little smile. “Are you serious?” If he’s even half as exhausted as I am, it’s definitely not fair to accept his offer.
But his head bobs assuredly. “Hop on, Daisy. Let me carry you.”
And I don’t know why it means so much to me but that gesture fills my heart all the way up. He’s been propping me up all night, giving me strength when I was sure I didn’t have anything left in me.
We’re completely quiet as he carries me the rest of the way, my pouffy wedding dress spread out around my legs. I cling to him, knowing that soon he’ll be gone. But the impression he’s left on me won’t ever fade away. And when I go back to Copper Heights and I have to face the world, his voice will be in my ear. Forever cheering me on.
So, in the fading moments that we have left together, I focus on the strength of his back under my weight and the scent of his skin. I try not to think of myself back in Copper Heights, trying to find a new normal for myself. I try not to think of him, thrust into the grips of war in some foreign country.
I just focus on here and now.
There aren’t that many people in the hotel lobby at this hour. And, thankfully, we're alone on the elevator. The doors close and there we are. Him, tall, regal and dignified. Me, hanging off his back, looking crazy and dirty and absolutely in love.
Our eyes catch in the mirrored wall and we wear matching expressions. Sad, dejected, a little afraid. His eyes tell me he doesn't want to let me go. And I don't want him to. But some things are outside of our control.
When the bell chimes and the elevator doors open, he carries me down the hall to his room. And the second he gets me inside, he shoves me against the door and his mouth molds to mine. We tear at each other’s clothes, so much urgency in the way we’re touching. He pulls a condom from his wallet but I’m on him. I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop.
We’re kissing.
We’re touching.
We’re naked on the bed and we’re making love.
Yes, it’s frantic. Yes, it’s greedy. But the emotion is there. Real, raw, right at the surface. This isn’t just about our bodies. This is about our hearts.
I never knew it was possible to feel this way. And so quickly. With so much certainty. This is insane.
He tastes me. Long, slow strokes of his tongue into the heat of my mouth. His hands knead my breasts as his cock pistons through my channel and sensations fire throughout my system.
And when it all becomes too much, when it overwhelms the both of us, we explode together, clinging to the pinnacle of pleasure for as long as we can before floating back down together.
Satiated. Intertwined. Limbs locked together. Hearts beating in a steady, synchronized rhythm.
The next thing I remember is opening my eyes. Seeing him kneeled down beside the bed. He’s wearing his uniform, looking dignified and courageous. Staring right at me.
Reality slams me hard. I swallow, sitting up on the side of the mattress. “You have to go…”
His head bobs once. “I have to go.”
And this is heartbreak.
What I felt at the bar last night before he came up to me, that was child’s play. This feeling in my chest now as I’m saying goodbye to Tony, this is heartbreak.
He licks his lips, fighting against the emotions I see so clearly warring on his face. He slips a pile of neatly-folded pink fabric into my hands. “I got you some clothes from the gift shop downstairs. I'm no fashion expert but I figured you wouldn't want to do the walk of shame in your tattered wedding dress.”
I nod as I accept the clothes from him. “Thank you.” I blink down at the carpet. “You’re very thoughtful.”
He cups my cheek. "How do you feel?" he asks softly.
I lift my eyes to his. “Honestly?”
He nods.
“Like the world is ending." I try to smile but I just can’t.
His chest heaves as he breathes out. “Oh, Daisy…” He pulls me to his body and I bathe in his heat and masculinity. He holds me for a while but not long enough.
As we ease apart, I lift my eyes to his. Everything I find there is raw, genuine, real.
He doesn't want to let go, either.
Pressing my eyelids shut, I pucker my mouth against his for the last time. The breath that escapes him is rough and shuddering.
"Please don't die..." I whisper against his mouth.
He smiles soberly and presses his lips to the top of my head. "I'll try not to."
“Try really hard,” I plead.
I feel him nod against my head. “And you—don't go back to him. Okay? Find somebody who loves you. Find a guy who'll treat you right. A man who deserves you.”
My throat is tight and dry when I say, “I promise.”
He stands and walks toward the door, throwing one last glance my way. “Goodbye, Darla Mae."
I whisper around a shuddering breath. “Goodbye, Anthony."
He steps out the door. I sit there, my heart breaking.
Tears blur my vision but I can clearly see my engagement ring on the floor where he tossed it last night. It’s right next to the unopened condom wrapper.
37
Sophia
I didn’t hire a lawyer.
I should have. It would have been the smart thing to do. But when that bailiff showed up at my door three days ago with the sheaf of court documents, it was the bale of hay that broke this camel’s back. My mind broke. I’ve been in a fog ever since.
Archie walking away from our family is the biggest loss I’ve ever suffered. But the thought of losing River, too…I don’t know how to handle that.
I didn’t hire a lawyer. And now, as I stand here in front of this apathetic, stern-faced judge, I finally have the good sense to start regretting that decision. Depression does fucked up things to your decision-making process. I should have jumped into action the minute I got those court documents but I was paralyzed until the very last minute, this morning when I finally picked up the phone and called Reese and Nova for help. I shouldn’t have waited so long.
The judge looks out at the courtroom over the top of his glasses. “Are the parties ready to proceed?”
My pulse is going crazy, pumping way too fast. I’m dizzy. I’m nervous.
When I glance over my shoulder, my friends smile supportively. That doesn’t do a damn thing to comfort me.
Across from me, on the other side of the room, Clara wears an expression of stone, sitting between her lame-ass son and her lawyer.
The nerve of that woman. The nerve of her!
Her lawyer clears his throat and stands. “Your honor, counsel would like to convene with the defendant before proceeding, please.”
That bastard lawyer wants to talk to me? What could we possibly have to say to each other?
The judge’s gaze moves to me and then back to the other side of the room. He heaves a sigh. His expression saying that he’s more than ready for this thing to be over. He probably has a bologna sandwich with his name written all over it.
With a frosty expression, he lifts his gavel. “The parties may convene quickly. Court will be back in session in ten minutes.” His mallet smacks loudly, echoing through the room. Then, he gets up and disappears through a back door.
As I stand, I avoid eye contact with Josh and his mother because god knows I won’t be responsible for my actions if I look at them. Their lawyer leads us all to a quiet spot around the corner at the end of the hallway out of earshot of everyone else.
“Look, Ms. Gallo. I’m just going to cut to the chase,” he says starkly. “This isn’t about the engagement ring. My clients don’t give a fuck what you did with that thing.”
Josh mumbles in the background. “I knew I shouldn’t have given her a real diamond.”
I snarl, fucking offended. Seriously, dude. How much lamer can this guy get?
“Here’s the thing,” the lawyer continues. “Mrs. Davies just wants to see the child. Once a week is good enough. We can make arrangements for pick up and drop off, if transportation is an issue—”
“Are you people insane?” I shriek. “River is not Josh’s child. A paternity test could prove that easily.”
The lawyer nods. “My client isn’t too concerned about paternity to be honest. Hence the reason why she’s suing for the engagement ring and not for visitation rights.”
Yes, my ex-fiance and his mother are suing me to return the engagement ring because they know that I can’t. I pawned that thing ages ago to make ends meet when I was at my lowest point. But the point of this lawsuit is to blackmail me into letting Clara live out grandma fantasies with my child. That ring was worth a lot of money but if I agree to let Clara get visitation with River, this whole lawsuit goes away.
This is how rich people get their way.
I am so mad. Vibrating with rage. And I have no idea how I’m going to get myself out of it, but exposing my child to that woman is not an option.
The smarmy lawyer adjusts his tie and sits on the edge of a table parked against the wall. “The law is on our side and if you can’t return the ring or pay compensation instead, you’re going to have a problem on your hands, Ms. Gallo. It would be a shame for you to lose that business you worked so hard to build. Would that be worth it to you?”
I can’t lie. Fear starts to take root in my belly. But there’s no way I’m letting Clara bully me into having a place in my daughter’s life.
It does mean that I may be on the verge of losing the daycare center, though. Before it even officially opens up for business.
Clara’s got tears in her eyes. “Be reasonable,” she begs. “All I want is to have a granddaughter.”
“But River is not your granddaughter.” I’m really not understanding this.
She sniffles. “But I’ll treat her like a granddaughter. I’ll be a better grandmother than Agata. That’s for sure. Raising a child is expensive. I’ll take care of all those expenses. Help me, so I can help you.” She clasps her hands in front of her chest. “I’m just so lonely, Sophia.”
A big body bursts around the corner and a booming voice rings out in the air. “If you’re lonely, then get a dog, bitch!”
My head snaps over and I see Archie standing there, shoulders broad, hands fisted. My entire body shudders with relief at the sight of him.
He steps up to the smarmy lawyer and snarls. “You’d better go into that courtroom and tell the judge you changed your mind about this bullshit lawsuit. My daughter is not a pet and my family is not up for sale.”
38
Sophia
I give Reese a small smile as she slides a vanilla sprinkle cupcake in front of me. “Thanks.”
She drops into the chair across from me and Nova sits to my left. “Rough week, huh?” Nova asks then takes a sip of her tea.
I glance over at where my daughter is sleeping peacefully in the playpen in the corner of Reese’s kitchen and fill my lungs with air. “That’s one way to put it.” I slide the plate away. My appetite still hasn’t returned. I think I’m still shellshocked from that shit Clara tried to pull.
And I don’t know what the hell was wrong with me. Why I didn’t fight back. Why I just let her drag me to the courthouse to intimidate me into giving her her way.
I guess I was just too afraid. The idea of her pushing her way into River’s life, the idea of the court approving of that—it scared me senseless. It made me stupid. I cringe to think of what would have happened if Archie hadn’t showed up when he did and intervened.
After the fact, I had a conversation with Nova’s sister who is a big-shot lawyer in New York and she assured me that Josh and his mother weren’t entitled to get the engagement ring back anyway since my dumbass ex-fiance is the one who broke off the engagement to begin with.
I’m so disappointed in myself.
I thought I was strong, that I was self-sufficient, that I didn’t need anybody because I could handle it all on my own. But I froze up in the face of my biggest challenge. I don’t know how I’m supposed to forgive myself.
Reese looks nervous when she asks, “So, how are things with you and Archie?”
My eyes shut at the mention of his name. I swallow. “Don’t get me wrong—I am insanely grateful for what Archie did. I don’t know how things would have turned out if he hadn’t intervened at the courthouse because I obviously wasn’t thinking straight. But that doesn’t fix the problems between us.”
Nova leans closer and lays a hand on mine. “But hun, he’s been trying to explain himself. Charlie says you won’t even talk to him. You should at least hear him out.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” I shake my head. “He walked away from his family at the first sign of trouble. That’s unacceptable.”
“This isn’t like what Josh did,” Nova says confidently, shaking her head. “Josh was a selfish prick who disappeared because he didn’t want to face his responsibilities. Archie…Archie loves you so much that the idea of not being good enough for you was driving him crazy.”
I glare at my friend. “Who’s side are you on, Nova?” I bite into the cupcake and it tastes like paper. Bland.
“I’m on your side,” she tells me. “I just want to see you happy. Finally.”
Reese pleads Archie’s case. “He really does love you, Sophia. He just made a mistake because he was scared. We all get scared. Even you. That’s why you pushed him away to begin with.”
They don’t get it. They don’t understand the anxiety of loving someone and every single day, worrying that they’ll just disappear and never come back.
Nova looks at Reese and whispers. “We should show her…”
Reese nods. “We should…”
“Show me what?” These two are always up to something. Always conspiring.
Nova grabs her purse from the floor and pulls out a stack of cards just as Reese opens a drawer in the kitchen and pulls out a stack of her own.
“What is this?” I ask as they lay the dozens of cards in front of me.
Reese gives me a soft smile. “These are postcards. Archie sent them to Charlie and Leo while he was overseas.”
Nova’s eyes get watery as they fan over the pile. I shiver.
Tough Girl Nova does not cry.
“These postcards are all about you, Sophia. He couldn’t stop thinking about you,” she tells me. “He couldn’t stop talking about you. He never tho
ught he would see you again but he couldn’t get you off of his mind.”
“Isn’t that love, Soph?” Reese says in a quiet voice as my fingers trace the cards. “Can’t you agree that that’s love?”
My eyes tingle as I spread out the cards on the table. My gaze flitters across Archie’s words.
…She stole my damn heart and I don’t even know her name…
…I know I sound crazy but I can’t stop thinking about her…
…Sometimes, I lie awake and wonder if she remembers me…
…She’s the girl of my fucking dreams…
Reese speaks again. “Archie fucked up, Sophia. We can all agree on that. But if you love him, half as much as he loves you, you’ve got to consider giving him another chance. You owe it to yourself and to him and to River. Please.”
As I read the cards, his words speak to my heart. I feel his pain, his longing, his love. It’s all real. It’s all genuine. I know that once and for all.
My lungs quiver. My stomach shakes with fear. But in the middle of the layers of pain is a stubborn clump of love, alive with hope, thrumming with desire, beating stronger than ever for Archibald Jones.
But is love really enough?
39
Archie
I hear Sophia’s voice the minute the door opens and my stomach twists with nerves. “Well, I’m hoping that we can at least move all the furniture here by the end of the weekend so that by Monday, the kids can start coming here. I am so ready to get this daycare center open once and for all.”
From where I’m sitting, I can only see her darkened silhouette. She’s carrying a huge box down the hallway from the front door leading toward the kitchen.
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m tired but I just want to move forward with this, y’know? I just want to make it happen, finally.”
She stops dead in her tracks and Nova halts behind her when their eyes fall on the open door.
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