by Jack Cheng
Too bad Benji couldn’t come to SHARF . . .
He’s on vacation in Chicago with his mom and sister and his mom’s new boyfriend.
One time Benji asked me do I feel bad about not having a dad and I asked him, Do you feel bad about not having a dinosaur? Benji said he’s not sure because he’s never had one, and I said I feel the same way about a dad. Benji said it’d be so cool to have a triceratops though, you could ride around on it and crash through the walls at our school and if a hall monitor tries to write you up for being late you can say, Take it up with my triceratops. I told him it was a great idea.
Sometimes I do think it’d be cool to have a dad. In Contact, Dr. Arroway’s dad died when she was a kid also, but at least she was older than I was. She could remember looking through the telescope with him on their porch and using their old radio to talk to people in Florida. But my dad died when I was three, so everything I remember is what other people told me. My mom told me that on the day I was born my dad was supposed to be home from a work trip but he missed his flight, so she had to drive to the hospital all by herself because Ronnie wasn’t old enough to drive yet. But then my dad finally got there and ten minutes later I got there.
It’s almost like my dad’s a jigsaw puzzle, and my mom has some of the pieces and Ronnie has some of the pieces, but a bunch of other pieces are missing so I can’t finish the puzzle. This year in Mrs. Campos’s social studies class we learned about genealogy, which is the study of who you come from, and we had a lab day where we went on computers in the library to a site called Ancestry.com. When you put in your name and your parents’ and grandparents’ names on Ancestry.com, it builds a family tree for you automatically using government records and old newspaper articles and things like that. It said that my lolo and lola and my mom’s side of the family are from the Philippines, which I already knew, and it said that my dad’s side of the family came from Europe on a ship in 1870. Ancestry also sends me an e-mail whenever they find out something new about my family—it’s like having my own CSI, which is an acronym for Crime Scene Investigator. Except instead of solving crimes it’s solving stuff about my dad, it’s my DSI—Dad Scene Investigator.
Aye yai yai, I’m never falling asleep at this rate . . .
I’m going to try going to bed again. Carl Sagan and I have a big day tomorrow.
Good night guys.
NEW RECORDING 4
[RECORDING NOT AVAILABLE]
NEW RECORDING 5
8M 52S
OK, let me try this again. I wanted to tell you what happened at the train station before but I was crying and I wasn’t making sense, so I deleted it.
Ronnie used to tell me to man up whenever he saw me cry. He’d tell me to stop crying, nobody likes a crybaby, and I try but I can’t help it sometimes. Sometimes the clouds inside my head get big and gray and swirly and then I hurricane through my eyes. Except I don’t literally hurricane through my eyes—I don’t actually have a weather system in my head.
This morning just when Carl Sagan and I were about to leave, I realized that I packed too much stuff, even with my 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner. I tried carrying it all and it was SO heavy, I could barely even make it five steps before I got tired. It didn’t look that heavy last night and everything by itself wasn’t heavy, but it really adds up. I said to Carl Sagan, What do we do now? and he looked at me like, Why are you asking me? And then I tried putting my duffel bag on his back and he squirmed away and he was like, What do you think I am, a donkey?
I told him I know he’s not a donkey, but then I had a great idea.
My idea was to go in our garage and get the wagon that I use for buying groceries, and I put everything in the wagon and it fit, problem solved! Then I knocked softly on my mom’s door to see if she was awake yet but she wasn’t, so I went up to her bed and I whispered in her ear, We’re leaving now, we’ll be back on Sunday like I said and I love you, just in case she could hear me in her dreams.
Carl Sagan and I walked down our street and we turned left at Justin Mendoza’s house. We walked along Mill Road, and I was pulling my wagon with one hand and I had Carl Sagan’s leash in my other hand, and we went past Mr. Bashir’s gas station and the Super 8 Motel right next to it. I wanted to say hello and good-bye to Mr. Bashir but I didn’t want to be late, and also I was worried that the Amtrak people might not let me bring my wagon on the train. But I wasn’t crying yet, that didn’t happen until later.
We got to the Amtrak station fifteen minutes before the train was supposed to get there. I showed the ticket guy my e-ticket and he asked me where are my parents, and I said it’s just me and Carl Sagan. He asked me where’s Carl Sagan and I moved to the right because Carl Sagan was hiding behind my legs. The ticket guy looked at me and he said, This is an adult ticket, and I said, Yeah, because the website only let me buy an adult ticket. He said that I need a children’s ticket and I asked him how can I get one, and he said I need to buy it with an adult ticket and I was really confused. He said I can’t get on the train by myself, I need to have an adult with me if I’m younger than thirteen. Then he asked to see my ID and I showed him my Planetary Society membership card, and he said he needs an ID with my birthday on it so I showed him my school ID, and that’s how he found out I’m not thirteen yet.
I told him I’m more responsible than a lot of thirteen-year-olds I know. I said I’m more responsible than even a lot of fourteen-year-olds. But he said it doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is your real age, and I said that’s really stupid because kids are different. They should give everyone a test to see how responsible they are and then give them a responsibility age. I know I’d be at least thirteen then because I can already cook and take care of a dog.
I didn’t say anything about the responsibility test to the ticket guy, though. I just thought about how I had all of my stuff and Carl Sagan’s stuff and Carl Sagan too, and I really didn’t want to miss SHARF, so I sat down on one of the chairs in the station and I started crying.
Carl Sagan started crying too because he cries whenever I cry, and then I thought maybe it’s better if I don’t go to SHARF. Maybe it’s better if I just stay in Rockview because I’ve never been away from home without my mom or Ronnie before, and if I stay here that means I’ll have more time to make recordings for you guys, and then when I have enough sounds from Earth I can launch Voyager 3 on my own, I don’t have to do it at SHARF, even though I spent all that money on my train ticket and on registration and now I won’t get to meet Europa or Calexico or anyone else from Rocketforum.
And that’s when I got out my Golden iPod and tried telling you guys what happened, but it just came out as a bunch of crying. And I heard the horn from the train coming and I cried even harder, I didn’t think I was ever going to stop.
But then I heard someone say, What’s the matter? and I looked up and it was this older kid and he was wearing a blue bandanna on his head and he had a backpack that was even bigger than I was. It was SO huge.
The older kid sat down next to me and it took me a while to tell him everything. I had to stop hurricaning before I made any sense. I calmed down finally to just scattered showers, and I told him I’m supposed to go to SHARF to launch my Golden iPod into space and all my friends from Rocketforum.org are going to be there, and I spent a fortune on the train ticket and I made food for my mom and put the GladWare in the refrigerator and now there’s no way I can go because I’m not thirteen even though I’m at least thirteen in responsibility years.
He said, This sounds like it’s really important to you, and I said, Of course it’s important, if it wasn’t important I wouldn’t be crying, DUH! Except I didn’t say that last part, I just nodded. I’m complicated.
He asked to see my ticket and I showed it to him, and I showed him my duffel bag with my rocket and my registration e-mail and my Google Maps printout of the SHARF site and even my 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner, I don’t know
why I showed him that. He asked me where are my parents and I told him my dad died when I was really little and my mom’s at home, and she doesn’t really care what I do as long as I don’t bother her too much. He said, Man, you’re starting this early, aren’t you? and I said, Huh? Starting what early? And then he gave me back my folder and he told me that no matter what, just follow his lead and nod along to whatever he says, and I nodded.
He got in line so I got in line too, and when we got up to the ticket guy, the ticket guy looked at him and he looked at me and he asked the older kid, Is he with you? And the kid said, Yeah, he’s my stepbrother. He said, I leave to go to the bathroom for one minute and Alex tries to ditch me at the station, some brother, huh? The ticket guy looked at me and asked me, Is he your brother? I looked at the kid and then back at the ticket guy and I nodded, and the ticket guy said, Next time stay with your brother, OK? and I nodded again. Then he scanned our tickets and he gave us our seat numbers.
The older kid helped me carry my wagon onto the train, and there’s an upstairs level and a downstairs level and our seats were upstairs. We had to walk through a bunch of the train cars to get to the pet-friendly car, and between the cars they have these metal doors with big rectangular buttons on them that when you push the button the door slides open automatically and it goes kuu-chhhhhhh like on a spaceship. It’s SO cool, I wish I had those for my house!
There weren’t as many people on the train as I thought, though. Probably half of the seats were empty. And I guess it was still pretty early in the morning because I saw old people and families with little kids and most of them were sleeping, except this bald guy who was wearing gray robes like a martial arts master. When we passed his seat he smiled at me and I bowed and I said Namaste, which is how you’re supposed to greet martial arts masters.
I’m here in the pet-friendly car now, and Carl Sagan’s curled into a doughnut on the seat next to mine. The older kid isn’t here with us anymore though, he moved because he’s kind of allergic to cats. I said, Shouldn’t you sit in the seat number that the ticket guy gave you? And he said that they usually don’t care. He said if anyone asks me am I by myself or gives me any trouble just come and find him, and I said, Thank you for pretending to be my adult. He said, No problem, I hope you find what you’re looking for, and I told him I’m not looking for anything, I’m launching a rocket, remember? And the kid laughed and said, That’s right, and then he left and—
Oh, DUH. I bet he was talking about the sounds from Earth I want to record for you guys. That’s what he hopes I . . . Hey! Maybe the older kid has a girlfriend! And he can be my man in love! I’m going to go find him later and ask him.
NEW RECORDING 6
7M 36S
We’re almost in New Mexico! Our train’s definitely going full speed now too—full speed ahead!
It felt kind of weird when we started moving. The train brakes went tsssssssss and then the buildings next to the train station started going by, slowly at first and then faster and faster, and I thought about how with every second that passes I’m moving farther away from my house and my mom, and it’s almost like Voyagers 1 and 2, how with every second they’re moving farther out into space and away from THEIR home, away from the earth. But I guess the difference is that I’m coming back after—
UNIDENTIFIED CHILD: What are you doing?
ALEX: Oh, hi. I’m making recordings to send to outer space.
UNIDENTIFIED CHILD: Your dog is funny!
ALEX: He’s—oh, he’s just hiding under the seat because he gets nervous around strangers. His name’s Carl Sagan. I named him after my hero Dr. Carl—
UNIDENTIFIED CHILD: Did you and Car Saban see the sightseer car?
ALEX: Is that a part of the train?
UNIDENTIFIED CHILD: It’s the back part of the train! It’s before the lunch car and it’s hecka hecka cool, it’s all made of glass!
ALEX: Um, wouldn’t it break if it was all glass?
UNIDENTIFIED CHILD: It’s strong glass.
ALEX: Oh cool. I haven’t seen it yet but I was just about to go look ar—
UNIDENTIFIED CHILD: Do you wanna play Battlemorph cards?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Lacey, honey, stop bothering that boy.
ALEX: It’s OK ma’am, she’s not bothering me.
ALEX: Sure, I’ll play Battlemorphs.
LACEY: What’s your name?
ALEX: My name is Alex.
LACEY: My name is Lacey and I’m five and a half years old. How old are you?
ALEX: I’m eleven. Is that your mom?
LACEY: Uh-huh. And that’s my sister. Her name is Evan.
ALEX: That’s a really weird name for a girl.
LACEY: Her name is Evan and she’s three years old. Where’s your mom?
ALEX: She’s at home in Rockview. She’s probably eating one of the lunches I made for her right now, unless she’s—
LACEY: Did she make you wear old person clothes?
ALEX: You mean my brown jacket? My hero had one just like it. He had a red turtleneck like this too that he wore all the time on his TV show Cosmos, the original one, not the one with Neil deGrasse Tyson.
LACEY: Aren’t you hot though?
ALEX: Kind of, but on Rocketforum.org they said to wear layers because it might get cold in the desert at night. I’m going to SHARF which is an acronym for Southwest High—
LACEY: One of my teachers at my school wears jackets like that. He’s hecka hecka nice. He gives you three pieces of candy every time you tell on someone doing something bad, but if you get something wrong he says, Thaaaat’s OK. He’s hecka hecka nice.
ALEX: He sounds nice.
LACEY: Have you played Battlemorphs before?
ALEX: Yup. I played it at my best friend Benji’s house.
LACEY: OK! I’m going to give you a card, and me a card, and you a card . . .
ALEX: I really wanted Benji to come with me but him and his family are in Chicago with his mom’s new boyfriend. His parents are divorced.
LACEY: Divorce?
ALEX: Uh-huh. I found out because fifth grade in gym class Benji started crying in the middle of volleyball, and Mr. Sanford asked Benji, Are you crying? and Benji shook his head to say that he wasn’t but I could tell he was because I was standing right next to him. Then Benji had to go to the bathroom—
LACEY: And you a card, and me a card, and me a card . . .
ALEX: —and I went to the bathroom too to see if he was OK and that’s when he told me his parents were getting divorced. Benji said his dad said he’s moving out of their house because he loves Benji and his mom, and I said, That makes no sense, if you really love someone why would you move away from them!
LACEY: My mom really loves me.
ALEX: Can I look at my cards now?
LACEY: You can look at your cards now. I dealed so I go first. I play a cocoon . . . and it morphs!
ALEX: I think you’re supposed to wait—
LACEY: I play another cocoon! And it morphs!
ALEX: Um—
LACEY: It’s your turn.
ALEX: OK. I’ll draw a card.
ALEX: You should see Benji’s collection. Benji loves Battlemorphs. He has the Trainer Playset and the Battle Enhancer app and that’s all he wants to do especially when it’s hot outside, he just wants to stay inside all day long and play Battlemorphs or Call of Duty.
LACEY: This one girl on my block, her name is Maya and she just wants to stay inside all day long and she’s hecka hecka mean to everybody! She only likes cats—
LACEY’S MOTHER: Lacey, when we don’t have anything nice to say about a person, then we . . .
LACEY: —
LACEY’S MOTHER: We what, Lacey?
LACEY: Don’t say it.
[train horn blaring]
LACEY’S MOTHER: That’s right, we don’t say i
t.
LACEY (to Alex): One time Maya told the teacher on me and my friend who’s also her friend. She told him we stealed her pencil but we didn’t! It was a lie. Maya’s a huge liar.
LACEY’S MOTHER: Lacey, what did I just say?
LACEY: But she IS, Mama! She’s a huge—
LACEY’S MOTHER: Does someone need a time-out?
LACEY: No Mama . . .
[train horn blaring]
ALEX: Hey, we’re slowing down.
LACEY: We are? Why are we slowing down?
ALEX: That’s weird, I don’t see a town here. It’s all desert.
LACEY: Mama, why are we slowing down?
LACEY’S MOTHER: I don’t know, honey. Come here, come finish your fries.
LACEY (to Alex): I have to go now.
ALEX: Here are your cards back.
LACEY: It was nice playing with you.
ALEX: It was nice playing with you too.
[train horn blaring]
LACEY (distant): Mama, can I have some water? Can I have . . .
[brakes hissing]
ALEX: Um, we’re completely stopped now. People are looking out the window trying to figure out what’s going on.
ALEX: I don’t think we hit anything . . . we would’ve felt it.
ALEX: It’s hard . . . to see . . . the front . . .
ALEX: I’m going to get a better look. Hold on!
NEW RECORDING 7