by Jack Cheng
TERRA: You said your mom went on one of her walks.
TERRA: Do you know where she goes? On these walks.
ALEX: —
TERRA: Have you ever gone with her?
[Alex groaning]
TERRA: Here, I’ll get it.
[hospital bed inclining]
TERRA: Go ahead, sip.
[straw croaking]
TERRA: Do you want more? I can ask the nurse to bring more.
ALEX: —
TERRA: OK, just let me know if you do.
TERRA: Alex, when your mom goes on her walks—how long is she usually gone?
TERRA: An hour?
ALEX: —
TERRA: No?
[Alex groaning]
TERRA: Don’t try to talk, just hold up your fingers.
TERRA: Three? Three hours? And then she comes back?
ALEX: —
TERRA: Has she ever not come back?
[Alex groaning]
TERRA: Alex, I know it’s hard right now. Hang in there a little longer and help me understand.
TERRA: I just want to know the truth. Your hero believed in the truth, right?
ALEX: —
TERRA: Good. Now tell me—has your mom ever not come back after a few hours?
ALEX: —
TERRA: What’s the longest she’s been gone?
ALEX: —
TERRA: How long, Alex. Show me with your fingers.
ALEX: —
TERRA: Hours?
ALEX: —
TERRA: No? So, DAYS? OK, days . . .
TERRA: Alex, I have to go make a call, OK? I’ll be right outside.
ALEX: —
[curtain opening]
[curtain closing]
TERRA (distant): I need to report a missing—
[hospital bed inclining]
[hospital bed reclining]
[hospital bed inclining]
[hospital bed reclining]
[hospital bed inclining]
[hospital bed reclining]
[curtain opening]
[Alex groaning]
TERRA: What is it?
TERRA: Don’t you want your iPod?
ALEX: —
TERRA: All right, I’ll hold on to it. You just focus on getting better.
TERRA: You can have it back when you’re better, OK?
ALEX: —
TERRA: That’s my rocket scientist.
TERRA: Now get some rest.
NEW RECORDING 40
10M 48S
TERRA: Alex, look.
TERRA: Someone came to see you.
ALEX: Oh, hi Steve.
TERRA (to Steve): He’s still a little out of it.
STEVE: I brought you something.
ALEX: What is it?
TERRA: See for yourself.
[bag crinkling]
ALEX: Johnny Rockets!
TERRA: Too bad he can’t eat any right now.
ALEX: That’s right. I’m on a liquid diet.
STEVE: Sorry, I should’ve asked first.
ALEX: It smells so good though. I wish I could eat it by smelling it. But then I’d be on a gas diet.
TERRA: But he’s still very much himself, as you can see.
TERRA: Hey Alex, let’s go over by the window. Steve brought another surprise for you too.
ALEX: He did?
TERRA: Go take a look.
[hospital bed inclining]
TERRA: Careful now.
TERRA (to Steve): He was having trouble walking earlier.
ALEX: Uh-huh. I was so dizzy. But Dr. Clemens said I have to keep moving because, um, I forgot . . .
TERRA: Something about not letting his organs stick to his spine.
TERRA: OK, right down there. See him?
ALEX: CARL SAGAN! And Zed! You brought him thank you thank—oww . . .
TERRA: Careful—
STEVE: Are you OK?
ALEX: It still hurts sometimes.
STEVE: Sorry, I tried to bring Carl Sagan inside but they only allow service animals.
TERRA: Steve and Zed drove all night and morning to get here.
ALEX: Does this mean you’re not mad at Steve anymore, Terra?
STEVE: Um . . .
TERRA: What happened in LA isn’t important right now. What’s important is that you get better.
ALEX: I have to go to the bathroom.
TERRA: Think you can handle it by yourself this time?
ALEX: I think so.
[bathroom door opening]
TERRA: Holler if you need any help.
[bathroom door closing]
STEVE: How much longer are they keeping him here?
TERRA: The doctor said another day or two.
STEVE: And his mom?
TERRA: Still no sign of her. I went back to the house yesterday ’cause I had to get a picture of her to e-mail the police.
STEVE: What about his brother?
TERRA: He was supposed to fly in last night but I haven’t heard from him. I left him a message about their mom. I don’t know.
TERRA: Steve, are things with you and Nathan still . . . I’m sorry.
STEVE: I’m the one who’s sorry. You were right to—
UNIDENTIFIED MALE (distant): . . . where’s B612 . . . I’m looking for room . . .
[curtain opening]
TERRA: Ronnie? You’re R—
RONNIE: Where’s Alex?
TERRA: He’s in the bathroom.
RONNIE: Who’s this?
STEVE: Um, I’m St—
[knocking on door]
RONNIE: Alex, it’s me. Are you in there?
ALEX: Ronnie?
RONNIE: Hey bud, how ya doin’?
ALEX: I can’t poop.
RONNIE: You can’t poop.
TERRA: He’s on a liquid diet. He hasn’t had a bowel movement since—
RONNIE: Any word from the police?
TERRA: I haven’t heard anything.
[toilet flushing]
[faucet running]
[bathroom door opening]
ALEX: RONNIE!
RONNIE: Hey bud, take it easy.
RONNIE: Let me see.
TERRA: Careful with the bandages.
RONNIE: What the—
RONNIE: Why are there two? Why did they cut here in the middle—
TERRA: They had to go in and feed everything through to make sure there wasn’t any more damage to his intestine. We were lucky it wasn’t a lot worse.
RONNIE: You call this lucky? What was he doing on that ladder in the first place?
ALEX: Ronnie, did you meet Steve too? He came with Zed who’s outside with Carl Sagan. Let’s go to the window, I’ll show you—
RONNIE: OK, OK. There’s that dog. And some bald hippie dude.
ALEX: I’m glad you came, Ronnie. I know you have meetings with prospective clients.
RONNIE: Of course, bud. I wanted to make sure you were all right.
RONNIE: Look, now that I’m here, you guys can—
TERRA: What is it?
RONNIE: I’ve seen you before. Where do I know you from?
ALEX: She’s our half sis—
ALEX: Oops. I mean she’s our Terra and we have the same dad.
RONNIE: We have the same . . .
TERRA: Ronnie—
RONNIE: Outside. Let’s go.
TERRA: Just let me exp—
RONNIE: Outside.
TERRA: Here Steve, take his—
STEVE: Um . . .
[curtain closing]
ALEX: You can keep holding it, Steve.
STEVE: OK.
STEVE: I’ll turn on the TV. What do you want to watch?
[channels flipping]
ALEX: What time’s the Mars satellite launch? Can we watch the live stream?
STEVE: They postponed the launch because of high winds. They moved it to next week.
[cartoon music]
STEVE: How’s this?
ALEX: OK.
ALEX: How’s everyone on Rocketforum? Are you guys entering the new Civet Prize?
STEVE: I don’t know. Everyone’s—
RONNIE (distant): Oh this is just . . . you spent a couple days with him and now you think . . .
STEVE: We, um, have a lot of new members. I saw this article about how people are getting excited about astronomy and rocketry again because of CivSpace.
ALEX: That’s good. Is Carl Sagan OK? He looked a little skinny. I can give him a bath when I’m out of the hospital, but can you guys feed him for—
RONNIE: What do you mean you don’t remember! Think! What’d you tell them . . .
STEVE: Alex, wait. It’s probably better if you stay in bed.
ALEX: But Ronnie and Terra are fighting. I don’t want them to fight.
STEVE: I don’t want them to fight either, but we should stay out of it right now. Your mom is . . .
ALEX: My mom is what?
STEVE: Ronnie and Terra are trying to find your mom.
ALEX: Is she OK?
STEVE: I’m sure she’ll be—
[curtain opening]
STEVE: Terra . . .
TERRA: Stay here with Alex.
[keys jingling]
ALEX: Terra? Where’s Ronnie and where’s our mom? Where are you—
TERRA: Steve’s going to stay here with you, I’ll be back soon.
ALEX: Terra, don’t leave! I don’t want you to go . . .
TERRA: Ronnie, wait!
ALEX: Why are you guys . . .
ALEX: But . . .
STEVE: Um, I’m going to stop recording.
NEW RECORDING 41
5M 26S
Hi guys, I’m getting discharged from the hospital today. Discharged means I’m going home, like the hospital is the battery and I’m the energy and I’m leaving the battery so it’s losing its charge. I guess that means when someone new gets here, the hospital gets recharged.
Ronnie was already here in my room when I woke up this morning. He was asleep in the chair by my bed and he was still wearing his suit and shirt from yesterday. I watched him sleep for a little while and then he yawned and rubbed his eyes, and then he asked me how long have I been awake and I told him just a few minutes. Then he asked me why am I staring at him and I told him, I’m just staring because I haven’t seen you in person in so long.
Ronnie sat up in his chair a little bit and I asked him, What was all that stuff about yesterday? I told him that Steve said him and Terra were trying to find our mom, so did they find her and is she OK? And Ronnie said they found her. He said she’s in a hospital in Belmar and he’s going to go see her in a little bit. I said, Why is Mom in a hospital, did she fall off a ladder too? and Ronnie said she’s not hurt or anything, they just have to keep her at the hospital to run some tests. I asked him, What tests? and he said just some tests, they’re not my concern, and I said I think they ARE my concern because that’s how I’m feeling—concerned.
Then Ronnie scooted his chair closer to my bed and he smelled like the boys’ locker room at my school, and he said he needs me to listen and think really clearly about something. I said, What is it? and he said he wants me to try to remember if there’s anyone else who might know about me being at home by myself besides Terra and the guys, especially when our mom goes on her long walks.
I tapped my finger on my chin and I said, Hmm, let me think . . . , and then I told Ronnie there’s Carl Sagan and Benji and my doctor here, Dr. Clemens, and Mr. Fogerty and Mrs. Campos at school and the older kid on the Amtrak train and Mr. Bashir at the gas station, and the Russells in Taos, New Mexico, and some of my other friends from Rocketforum.org, and also the intelligent beings I’m making these recordings for.
Ronnie looked like he’d seen a ghost when I told him all that. Then he said from now on don’t tell anyone else about our mom’s walks or her quiet days or me being home alone, and don’t tell anyone about going to SHARF and meeting strangers from the internet, and don’t ever meet up with strangers in the first place!
I told Ronnie, I know, I’m sorry, and I asked him why shouldn’t I talk about what happened though, does it have something to do with our mom’s tests? and he said, Just don’t. And then Ronnie said he has to go but the guys are on their way here, and Terra’s coming later to sign me out from the hospital.
When Steve and Zed got here they helped me walk around in the hallways to keep moving like Dr. Clemens wanted, and after my walk we watched some TV together in my room but none of the shows I like were on. So we watched a game show where the contestants were trying to guess the calories in different breakfast foods and it made me SO hungry. I still can’t eat solid food but I can eat things that are in between solid and liquid now. I can eat goos and squishy stuff like oatmeal and apple sauce but I can’t get it à la mode because I’m not supposed to have dairy.
The whole time we were watching TV Steve was acting weird again, but it wasn’t mad-weird and it wasn’t the kind of weird he was when we first met Terra. He kept staring out the window like he was looking for something, or waiting for someone, maybe he was waiting for Terra, and sometimes he would watch the show again but he would frown at the parts where you were supposed to laugh.
I said, Hey Steve, if this game show is making you sad we can watch something else, and Steve said it’s not that, and I said, Then what is it, did you and Nathan fight again? because one time at the beginning of sixth grade Benji was making fun of me in the lunchroom in front of his new friends and I started crying, but then on the bus he said he’s sorry and then we went to his house to play video games because forgiveness is a virtue.
Steve said it’s nothing, and then he smiled but I knew it was a pretend smile. I said, Steve, I know you’re only pretend-smiling and you’re really sad because it’s making me sad, and then he said let’s talk about something else. He said him and Zed gave Carl Sagan a bath this morning and I said, Really? how did you do it because Carl Sagan usually hates baths. Steve said for whatever reason Carl Sagan is really calm around Zed, and I said it’s probably because Zed meditates and Carl Sagan can sense things like that. Zed said maybe we can all try meditating right now, and Steve said, Sure, why not, so we turned off the TV and Steve sat in the chair and Zed sat on the windowsill. I was already sitting in my bed.
Zed said we should all just feel what we feel, and I felt excited because I’ll be reunited with Carl Sagan soon and I felt hopeful because I hoped everything with my mom’s tests would be OK, and then Steve got up and walked out of the room. After we meditated Zed asked me how do I feel now and I said I feel worried about Steve because I’m not sure why he’s being like this all of a sudden. I asked Zed, How do you feel? and he said centered, and I said, In the center of what? and he said in the center of the universe, and I told him that makes no sense because the universe has no center, it’s rapidly expanding in all directions.
NEW RECORDING 42
8M 19S
Do you know what skit—sch—schiz-o . . . phrenia is?
I’m not sure if I’m saying that right.
Schizophrenia is when you hear voices that only you can hear and sometimes the voices tell you to do things, and you can’t tell the difference between real and not real. I asked Terra is it like having an imaginary friend, because I’ve never had one but when I was in first grade some of the other kids had imaginary friends, so does that mean they have schizophrenia too? Terra said no, it’s OK for kids, but when you get older you outgrow it and it’s only a problem if you’re an ad
ult and still can’t tell the difference.
The reason my mom is in the hospital is because she has schizophrenia, and one of the voices told her it was a good idea to walk from our house all the way to Belmar and go into their big shopping mall and take off her clothes and take a bath in the fountain.
It took Terra a really long time to tell me about my mom. When I asked her when she came to sign me out of the hospital she said she’d tell me later, so I asked her later when we were in the car and she said she’d tell me when we got back to the house, so I asked her at the house and she finally told me.
I asked Terra, When can we go see my mom because I miss her and I want her to meet my Terra, and also I’m pretty good at solving problems so maybe I can help her solve her schizophrenia problem. Terra said she’s sure my mom misses me too and the doctors there are working on it, my mom’s getting better as we speak. She said I’ll be able to visit my mom soon, she promises, and I told Terra, I can’t wait to see my mom, and I’ll make her favorite foods and bring them to her so she knows how much I love her.
Carl Sagan was really excited to see me get discharged from the hospital. He tried to jump on me as soon as he saw me come out of the sliding doors and I said, Be careful, boy! I have stitches! I hugged him and scratched behind his ears and then we drove back to our house in Terra’s car, but when we got here I almost didn’t recognize our dining room. There were a bunch of boxes piled up against the wall and it was like the guys’s apartment in LA except instead of being empty the boxes were filled with papers, and there were papers in stacks all over the table too.
I said, What the heck happened here, where did all of these boxes and papers come from? and Terra said Ronnie brought them up from the basement and she’s been helping him go through them, they’re my mom’s old tax returns and medical records and things like that. I told her, My head hurts from just looking at all that stuff! and Terra said she knows what I mean, her head hurts too. I told her that she should take a break and come play outside with me and Carl Sagan, but she said that Ronnie wants me to stay inside, and if anyone calls or comes knocking at the door don’t answer it. I asked her why can’t I go outside, it’s a beautiful day out! And she said she’ll explain later.
So I threw Carl Sagan’s ball around inside the house, and when he got tired of chasing it down the hallway we sat on the sofa and I asked him what happened after we lost him at Zelda’s. I said, What kind of adventures did you have in Las Vegas? What was Janine Maplethorn like? and Did you make friends with any other people or dogs? And he just looked at me like, Can I sleep in your lap?