“Good. Then it’s all settled.”
“Am I invited too?”
Instantly, Pam’s subconscious placed a face to the female voice behind her. A shrill alarm echoed in her head. On impulse she turned and noticed Tom’s blue eyes harden and glint dangerously at his former wife.
Truths Unveiled
Truths Unveiled
Chapter Nine
Tom matched the woman’s goading smile with an even sneer but said nothing.
“Well look who it is,” Eddie’s voice boomed. “I never expected to see you in here, Susan. Did hell freeze over already?”
For an instant, Pam caught a chink in Susan’s otherwise perfect composure. The stunning redhead recovered quickly with a humorless chuckle and smug smile. Immaculately groomed down to her bright pink toenails, exposed in heeled sandals, and dressed in a yellow silk pantsuit, she definitely commanded an audience.
Pam remembered the dirt and soot still in her hair from the explosion. Was there a closet nearby? She wanted to hide.
Then Pam stopped herself. Most likely, this would be the last time she would ever be in Susan’s company again. Thank goodness. The woman reminded her of a nasty villain on a soap opera. From the way her eyes shot daggers at Tom, it was clear those two still had a lot of unresolved issues.
Pam watched Susan’s smile transform itself into a perfect pout. “You always make me feel so unwanted, Cousin. I just don’t understand it.”
Yuck, Pam winced. That little girl voice made her want to barf. She’d forgotten Eddie and Susan were related. Cousins by marriage, she believed.
“Cut to the chase, Susan. What do you want?”
Tom’s low, menacing voice caught Susan off guard. She blinked at him, then directed her focus to Pam. “Can you believe these two? They’re always so...” Dramatically, she waved her hand in front of her. “So beastly! I am, after all, a paying customer and a prominent citizen of this community.”
“This is a waste of time,” Tom muttered in a disgusted tone. “Let’s go, Pam.”
“I came to see Pamela,” Susan retorted. “Not either of you. I just heard she arrived in town and thought I’d stop by to say hello.”
Pam swallowed. She wants to see me? Why? They’d never been friends. Not even acquaintances. In fact, being five years younger, she’d only seen Susan a couple of times on the street in passing, or in a restaurant when she heard that shrilly voice. As far as she knew, Susan didn’t even know her name.
Eddie actually snorted a shot of laughter. “Fine. You said it. Now Pam and Tom are on their way out. It’s time for you to go, too.”
****
Tom checked his rearview mirror to be certain Pam still followed behind him in her Explorer. After leaving the restaurant, they’d returned to the factory site to retrieve the vehicle. Now he led her to the hotel.
Fueled with simmering humiliation and rage, he resisted the urge to gun the engine.
What a fool he’d been, parading Pam around the restaurant like that! What was he thinking? That he could have a normal life without second guessing each move he made, wondering how the Prima Donna would react? He had to be out of his mind. Why won’t Susan just let go? Enough time had passed since the divorce, and they’d separated two years before that. It wasn’t like the years preceding the day she dumped his clothes at the end of the driveway had been filled with marital bliss.
More than disappointed, Tom forced himself to accept the fact that people just loved to talk. He wondered, briefly, if maybe she’d bugged the restaurant. Either that or someone went out of their way to inform Susan of Pam’s arrival. How else did she find out so quickly? And why did she still care?
For a split second, Tom allowed a picture of his sons to materialize. Instantly, he felt the stab of a searing blade pierce the never-healing, gaping wound in his heart. He blanked the image and tightened his jaw, determined to maintain control. “When, God?” he demanded aloud. “When will this crap end?”
Weeks ago, hearing Marlene mention Pam’s name sounded like an answer to Tom’s prayers. He knew life never held any guarantees, but throughout all these years he’d never stopped thinking about her. If nothing else, he intended to seize this opportunity to make things right between them. And maybe, just maybe, they could share something more. Much more.
Now Tom wondered if he had made a mistake. Susan’s predatory appearance this evening made it clear she refused to be ignored. Maybe it was a sign that he didn’t deserve a second chance at being happy. Maybe it was payback for all the wild and crazy things he did in his youth. Maybe happiness was just not part of his pre-written script. After all, he’d sinned. Forget about forgiveness. He was expected to pay for those sins for the rest of his life.
A tiny part of him hoped Pam could change that. Now, he wasn’t so sure. Even if she decided to take the job and move here, was it really fair for him to pursue her? To bring her into the middle of this inferno he’d gotten himself into? Sadly, recalling Susan’s challenging smirk, he answered the question. Probably not.
The area’s newest hotel came into view. No, Tom resolved, turning into the parking lot. Pam was a great person. She’d been to hell and back, partly due to him. And she’d pulled herself out of it. He, on the other hand, still battled with the same demons.
He’d make this quick, he decided. He’d carry Pam’s luggage, bring her inside the hotel, and wish her luck with whatever she decided. And if she did move back? Well, he’d keep his distance. Otherwise, even if she agreed to start dating him again, she’d just end up eventually hating him and breaking it off herself.
Tom helped her out of the Explorer. “You must be exhausted.” He knew her meetings started at eight-thirty the next morning. It would be a full day. Her flight back on Sunday would leave at two in the afternoon.
Pam smiled at him and stretched. To divert his attention, Tom opened the back door and reached for her garment bag and suitcase. “Is there anything else you want to bring in?” His experience with women told him there might be more. Even for just a quick overnight stay.
“No, thanks.”
“Amazing,” he winked. “Oh, and don’t forget. The hospital is picking up the hotel tab. That means you can feel free to raid the mini bar for some goodies.”
“After that dinner? No way!”
Once registered and given the key card to Pam’s room, Tom walked her to the elevator. They stood alone, except for the desk clerk, who left to watch television in the adjacent office.
“I wrote out directions to the hospital,” he told her, removing a piece of paper from his shirt pocket. “It will take you about fifteen minutes from here.”
Pam placed it in her purse. “Thanks.”
Her expression wasn’t quite the same one he remembered years ago. Understandably, little of her teenage innocence remained. But still, he saw the sincerity. And the kindness. And felt that same spark.
“Your eyes are twinkling,” she teasingly accused.
Tom hadn’t blushed in years, but he felt his cheeks burn red hot. Then he thought about what she’d said at the restaurant; about their long-distance relationship not working out anyway.
“You’re all grown up,” he told her. “And you did everything you set out to do.” He cleared his throat. Then lowered his voice. “Maybe that wouldn’t have happened if we’d stayed together. What if we did that long-distance thing and eventually I lured you back here? We could have produced a dozen kids by now. They’d be out with me at dawn, helping with the chores. And you’d be inside, making breakfast, churning butter, beating the laundry down at the brook with a rock.” His eyes glittered at the thought. “What a picture.”
“What a picture is right,” Pam remarked. “I think things worked out fine, just the way they are. Look at you. You’ve got two beautiful sons and you’re the director of rescue operations for a huge medical center. That’s nothing to downplay. Nor is having a seat on the board of directors. I meant what I said before. It’s a great position for you. Tailo
r made. Although…” The corners of her mouth curved upward.
“Yes.”
She winked and pushed the elevator button. “I’ve never seen you in a suit and tie.”
Tom laughed out loud. “You’re right. And believe me. It doesn’t happen all that often.”
Hearing the elevator, Tom considered how to make a graceful exit. But was he really sure he wanted to? Just being with her seemed to warm the ice he’d packed around his heart minutes ago.
Pam’s expression turned semi-serious. For a second he wondered if she read his thoughts.
“Thank you for tonight,” she said. “Even with the explosion, being here turned out to be much easier than I’d expected. Don’t take this the wrong way, but years ago I made a promise to myself never to come back here again. Or even to the state of Pennsylvania. When I learned Dr. Everett left Chicago to take the position here, and that I was being considered for the ED position…” She left the sentence unfinished and shuddered.
“I bet it blew your resolution right out of the water.”
Pam rolled her eyes. “Exactly. I mean, I definitely felt flattered. But I didn’t even intend to accept this invitation to visit.”
The elevator opened and she stepped in, realizing too late that Tom had joined her inside. So much for his own resolution. Oh well. It took a lot for her to make this trip. And maybe, just maybe, they could still be friends. Right?
Eventually he found his voice. “No offense taken.” He hoped to assure her. “I must admit, I was a bit nervous about you coming back, too.”
Pam drew her brows together, but stayed quiet. Then he knew. No matter what happened between them, it was crucial for her to believe what he was about to say. And he needed to say it now.
Without a second thought, Tom reached out to smooth the worry lines creasing her forehead. He felt her surprise, but then she relaxed. When the elevator arrived at her floor, he followed her out, then reached for her hand.
For a moment, they simply stood there. His head voiced a thousand thoughts and by the expression in her eyes, he suspected she was going through the same thing. Quickly, he prayed that no one would appear and break the mood before he had his say.
Pam smiled at him. “Yes?”
Here was his chance. He could make a joke of it and let the moment pass or he could finally tell her what he wanted to say all these years. Say it! a voice boomed inside his head. Now!
Noticing two upholstered chairs arranged against the wall across from the elevator, Tom grasped Pam’s hand and led her to them. “Please sit down.”
She hesitated, then agreed. He pulled the other chair up close to her and took both her hands.
“You have every right in the world to hate me.”
Lines formed again on her forehead. Her greenish eyes widened. “What?”
“No. Please let me finish. Okay?”
Her eyes questioning, she nodded.
Tom started again. “My last date with Susan was about two weeks before I started seeing you. I swear, after that, I never went out with her again.”
Pam remained silent. He couldn’t read her expression.
Now comes the difficult part. He lowered his gaze to focus on his feet. “It’s hard to admit being negligent about birth control, and premarital sex. The truth is I thought…”
“Tom,” Pam interrupted. “You don’t need to do this.”
“Yes,” he insisted, placing his fingers to her lips. “Yes, I do. And I need to tell you I’m sorry. Because I really am sorry. I know it doesn’t change anything. And maybe you were right tonight when you said we would have probably fizzled out anyway after you left for college. But…”
“But it would have been nice to have that choice?”
Her tone and smile were so genuine. Truthful and matter of fact about a rotten situation, but also understanding. Despite himself, Tom felt the corners of his mouth lift. “That sums it up perfectly.”
This time she reached out to touch him. The effect intoxicated him. Together they stood. Then she yielded to his embrace. His senses devoured the scent of her hair and skin mingled with smoke, and the feel of her arms wrapped around him.
“I’ve missed you,” he heard himself saying. Warning bells followed. This was not what he’d intended, but the words continued to pour out. “After the accident, your folks whisked you back to Boston so fast. I didn’t know what to do.”
Pam clutched him tighter. “I’m so sorry I didn’t write back. Or return your calls.”
“Believe me, I totally understand.” He felt his eyes mist. “You have no reason to apologize.”
“The truth is…” Pam broke their embrace and took a short step backward. “I felt too humiliated. And afraid.”
“What?” Baffled, he held on to her hand. “Why? I’m the one who messed up.” Then Tom saw the deep pain in her eyes. It pierced his soul. “What is it, Pam?” he implored.
Shaking her head, tears erupted down her cheeks, rushing like a waterfall. Tom brushed them away but they kept coming. He held her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. “Please tell me.”
After a moment, Pam steadied her breath. Through trembling lips, she said, “I couldn’t contact you because I wasn’t the same. I’m still not the same. All the scars, my leg…you know I lost part of it in the crash.”
Tom nodded. He’d thought as much, but she sure ran around well enough at the fire scene today. Now that he thought about it, maybe she climbed the stairs at his restaurant a bit slow, but to him, none of it mattered. If anything, it made him admire her even more for her determination to achieve her dreams.
He recalled that night after the accident. He and Pam’s parents cried in the ED waiting room when the orthopedic surgeon told them the badly mangled limb could not be saved. He recalled the anguish that ripped through him for her. What made it worse was the knowing he couldn’t help her. Instead, he was stuck dealing with Susan and the mess they’d made.
Pam’s parents remained cordial but they hardly looked at him. Obviously, they had learned about his predicament. Soon after hearing the news about Pam’s leg, they arranged for her to be moved to a hospital in Boston. She was still in a coma when they left. He never saw her again. Until now.
“And you were engaged,” Pam continued. “Then married. Susan carried your baby. After...after that, and everything else, what was left to talk about?”
Tom knew she was right. “But maybe, somehow, I could have been there for you when you went through rehab. It had to be horrible.”
To his dismay, her face reddened and her tears increased.
“What is it, Pam? What’s upsetting you so much?”
She stared at him long and hard. When she spoke, her words came out in a hoarse whisper. “I deserved it Tom. I caused that accident. I drove my car into that tree that night and killed my best friend and that boy.”
Truths Unveiled
Truths Unveiled
Chapter Ten
Peering at her with disbelief, Tom clutched Pam’s shoulders. “No you didn’t! It was an accident!”
“No!” she insisted. She tried to shake off his grip, but he held on.
“Honey, I saw the wreck. The storm made driving conditions impossible. Especially for new drivers like you and Ryan Collins on those narrow roads. He was drunker than a skunk, coming around that dangerous curve. There was nothing you could do.”
“But how can you be so sure?” Pam implored. His words sounded kind, and he meant to be reassuring, but she knew what she did.
“And that’s why you haven’t come back here? Because you think you killed them?”
Chewing her bottom lip, Pam looked to the floor. There wasn’t anything else to say. Well, almost...
He drew her close. This time, she relented.
Rubbing her back, he whispered, “I should have come to you. You shouldn’t have gone through all of that alone. You did nothing wrong, Pam. It was just an accident. A horrible accident.”
After a moment, Pam t
ook a step back and lightly touched his cheek. “Thank you. But no matter what you say, I felt responsible for what happened. I still do. And then there was all the jealousy and anger and hurt that I felt over Susan. I knew you needed to be here. You needed to take responsibility.” Her sad smile deepened. “And you did.”
For a long moment, they simply stood still. Pam could feel her heart beating. Tom took her hand and brought it to his lips. After a gentle kiss, he held it to his chest. “After I found out about Susan, I did what I thought was right, but I’m so sorry for how it affected you and me. The pregnancy never should have happened.”
Truths Unveiled Page 5