by Ashlynn Ally
“Well?” Justin’s voice cuts into my little moment of dealing with my inner rage. “Answer me, Jaden, do you want me to take you home right now so I can give you a spanking on top of the mouth soaping you’re already going to get?”
“I’m not answering because that’s the most stupid question I’ve ever heard in my life,” I growl, refusing to look at him now, my face a scowl. “Who would actually say yes to that?”
“So I take it that means no?”
I nod slightly, taking a second to peek up at him out of the corner of my eyes. Even though he was pretty mad a few seconds ago, right now he seems almost amused, if not exhausted.
“Well, then you better start behaving. For crying out loud, Jaden, I never saw someone over the age of four throw a fit like that over donuts.”
“It’s not my fault,” I whine out lamentingly. “I’m hungry.”
“Well, maybe if you learned to eat real food, you wouldn’t be dealing with this little issue right now.” Clicking my seatbelt back into place, he turns his attention to driving again, pulling back out into traffic. “Now tell me what you want, and we can stop on our way to the mall.”
“I want donuts…” I say softly, with a slight turn of my head, stubborn.
Justin lets out a long groan. “Let me give you some other options. What about bagels? Or smoothies.”
My interest perks just slightly. “Smoothies like those slushy things from the gas station in the big plastic cup with the huge straw?”
“Um, no. Smoothies with fruit and milk and actual nutrition in them.”
“Sounds horrible.”
“I can’t believe you’ve never had a smoothie. Have you been living under a rock?”
“Yeah, a rock with stuff like donuts and candy and coffee and cigarettes under it. You know, fun stuff like that.”
“There’s a Jamba Juice on the next block,” says Justin, ignoring me. “We’ll stop there.”
He orders us both some kind of date-berry-kale-banana concoction, which I’m sure is going to be nasty but I’m feeling woozy from low blood sugar at this point, leaving me no choice but to take a couple of sips. It’s not so bad actually, cold and sweet and thick, but I’m not about to let Justin know that. In fact, I’m still kind of pissed that he never got me my donuts. And coffee… oh, God, I’d give anything for a coffee. Maybe I’ll be able to track something down at the mall.
Chapter Thirteen
Unfortunately, when we arrive at the mall, Justin stays less than two steps away from me the whole way to the phone store. Of course this makes it impossible to slip away. While we’re there though, I actually momentarily forget about my nicotine/caffeine fix while Justin picks out a phone model for me. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s still my first cell phone, and I’m pretty excited about it. I don’t even care when Justin makes sure to remind me how I’m still grounded and I’m not getting it till Monday.
“Can’t I at least hold it for a minute?” I cajole, as we make our way out of the phone store and into the refrigerated aisles of the mall. “I’ve never had a cell phone before.”
“Then two more days shouldn’t make a difference,” Justin says smoothly, keeping a tight grip on the plastic bag where the new phone is stashed. “Now, before we go home, I have to make a quick stop to the computer store and get more ink cartridges.”
“That sounds boring,” I say, putting a skip to my step to keep up with his long strides. “Can I go window shop instead?”
He chuckles with that amused-but-tired expression on his face again. “I don’t think you’re really getting this whole ‘grounded’ thing.”
“C’mon, please? I promise I won’t steal anything.” I shrug my shoulders and try to give him a puppy-dog face, but he barely glances at me.
“Jaden, I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but you’re being the opposite of persuasive right now.”
“So, what, is that a no then?” I say, maybe pretending to be a little bit more confused than I really am.
“That’s a no.”
“Oh, come on, Justin…”
“Asked and answered, Jaden,” he interrupts me, his voice rising sharply now as he turns to give me a glare. “Ask me again, and I’ll extend your grounding to include next weekend, too. Do you understand that?”
I shoot him one of my own glares. “Yeah, I got it,” I begrudgingly mumble out, sighing sulkily through my teeth. Man, this might be harder than I thought it was going to be. Justin may as well have me on a leash.
Once we’re at the computer store at the other end of the mall, Justin’s ‘quick stop’ actually turns into a long browsing session as he seems to remember about half a dozen other things he needs. “Can’t you just order them on Amazon?” I whine as he drags me up and down what feels like every aisle of the store. “I’m booored. I want to go home. It’s too cold in here and I’m freezing!”
Justin does his best to ignore me, but even he can’t keep the irritation from creeping up into his face after a while. “Keep it up, Jaden,” he mumbles under his breath, ostensibly from having the other shoppers at the store from overhearing and tarnishing their delicate sensibilities. “I swear to God, when I get you home…”
His voice trails off, and since I don’t really sense any real threat, I keep going. “I told you to let me go window shopping. If you had just said yes then I wouldn’t be here annoying you right now.”
He turns on me suddenly, gripping my upper arm and backing me right up against the calculators. “Jaden, I’m going to say this once, and only once. If I hear one more complaint out of you, one more whine or a little bit of attitude whatsoever, you are going straight onto the time-out stool when we get home, where you will sit and look at the wall for oh, I don’t know, maybe an hour or two. So if that doesn’t sound very fun to you, I suggest you better get it together.”
“Like it’s really gonna make much of a difference,” I say back to him with a dirty look. “It’s not like I can do anything fun anyway. I’m grounded, remember?”
I give him a huge roll of my eyes, practically daring him to do something about it.
“Well, maybe you’d like to write some lines when we get home? How about, ‘When I’m out in public, I will behave in a proper and respectable manner,’ three pages worth, front and back. That would give you something to do.”
“That doesn’t sound very fun.” My voice is starting to lose its edge now.
Justin seems satisfied with this. “Then I suggest you shape up.”
With that, he lets go of me and continues with his shopping while I follow along. I make as much non-talking noise as possible by scraping my flip-flops against the linoleum and running my hand up and down the merchandise, making everything swing on their little metal hooks.
After a few more minutes of Justin searching for a certain item, he decides to ask one of the store employees for help. That’s when I realize there’s actually an advantage to my newfound silence. While Justin is preoccupied discussing different brands of printer ink with the employee, I sneak out behind one of the aisles. With glee, I realize the computer store is actually at the very end of the mall, so there’s an exit that leads directly outside.
It’s not too hot out today, the onset of June gloom setting in, and I’m grateful for the more moderate temperature after freezing my butt off in the store. I scope the parking lot for fellow smokers; there’s a family with little kids, a group of preteens, a businessman. None of them actually have cigarettes hanging out of their mouths but I take a chance with the businessman. At first he hesitates, and I’m sure he’s going to keep walking by me, but after what seems to be a second thought, he stops and digs around in his pocket.
“Filthy habit, y’know,” he warns, at the same time handing me the cigarette. “Aren’t you too young to be smoking?”
“Apparently not,” I say, sticking the filter in my mouth and making the gesture with my thumb and fist for a lighter. “Actually, I’m trying to quit.”
“Good luck
to you then,” he says, while I lean in close to him as he offers me a strike of a flame from his lighter. “I’ve tried to quit about five times myself. Actually, I’m not even supposed to have these. My wife would kill me if she found out.”
I give a knowing and abrupt laugh as I blow out the first drag of my cigarette, practically in heaven from the fix. “Yup, I know what you mean. Anyway, thanks, man.” I hold up my cigarette in acknowledgement.
“No problem,” he says, and seems reluctant to walk away. I know his type. His wife never gives him any affection anymore, just nags him about smoking and playing too much poker or whatever. I could get him to buy me a coffee if I really wanted. Maybe even a whole pack of cigarettes. After, he’d want to take me to a motel room, fool around for a little while, maybe even give me a little money after as compensation. But I wouldn’t take him up on it. I’d make some excuse, slip away… I’m good at that.
I walk around the length of the mall, heading back to the front parking lot where we parked. I know I’m going to have to think of some excuse for ditching Justin, but for a few short minutes, I just revel in my act of defiance as I puff away.
Eventually though, the cigarette is gone and I find Justin’s car in the parking lot. It’s locked, but I figure he’ll have to come out at some point or another. So I lean against the trunk and I wait. And I wait, and I wait, and I wait. What is taking him so long anyway? How much stuff could he possibly buy at the computer store? It’s starting to feel like I’ve been standing out here for hours.
At last, I see him coming out the front entrance to the mall and heading over to me. Thank God, because I’m getting pretty hot and thirsty by now, plus I have to pee. As he draws closer, I get a good look at his face, set stonily into a deep frown. Uh-oh. He’s mad. I decide to beat him at his own game by turning this whole thing back around on him.
“Where the hell were you?” I call out in an exasperated tone, like he just stood me up for a date. “I’ve been out here waiting for an hour!”
“You’ve been out here waiting?” I can tell Justin is affronted by my accusatory tone and needs a second to collect his own thoughts. “I’ve been all over the whole mall looking for you. I even paged you! Twice!”
“A lot of good a page was gonna do when I was standing out here by the car the whole time,” I exclaim. “Maybe if you would have given me that cell phone, we could have avoided all this.”
He hits the automatic locks on his car now, and then comes around to the driver’s side to let himself in. “Get in,” he barks, threateningly enough for me to wonder if that is really the best choice for me right now. “Now!” he bellows, when he sees me hesitate.
Quickly, I decide refusing him is probably actually the more dangerous option at this point. I slip into the car, Justin and I both slamming our doors shut at the same time.
“You reek of cigarette smoke,” he growls at me, while I feel my heart beating harder and faster in my chest. I’m getting pretty flustered, and all of a sudden I’m not so sure if I can handle this situation as well as I had previously thought I could.
“No, I don’t,” is all I can come up with for a convincing excuse for an argument. Dammit, dammit, dammit, is what I’m really saying inside my head. I figured because I smoked outside, the smell would dissipate by now. Why hadn’t I thought to go the bathroom and wash my hands or something?
“Where were you?” he demands.
“I got lost!” I stammer out, which had been what I originally planned as my excuse for disappearing. “I thought if I came back out here to the car, you’d eventually come out.”
“You got lost,” he repeats, throwing his head back slightly and letting out a small laugh. “So you’re telling me you could come out here and find the car, but you couldn’t find the office supply store?”
“Of course I could find the office supply store.” I’m still stammering, and I struggle hard now to stop, to sound more composed, indignant even. “But I couldn’t find you. You were talking to that guy and turned down an aisle and I wasn’t sure where you went. I looked everywhere but you weren’t there so I thought you were done and that maybe you left and went back to the car! That’s why I came out here to find you.”
“Your story’s changing, Jaden, and I’m not falling for it. First you said you came out here because you thought this is where I’d come. Now you say you figured I was already out here. So which one is it?”
“I don’t know,” I exclaim, getting frustrated now that I probably wasn’t making sense and he was catching onto it. “A mixture of both maybe?”
“Oh, my God.” He starts up the car now and begins backing out of the spot, a smile on his face like he can’t believe this is happening—not a happy one or anything. “You are so full of crap right now it’s not even funny, and you are going to pay for it as soon as I get you home.”
“I’m not full of crap!” Another winning argument on my end.
“Did you smoke a cigarette?” he asks, firm and direct. “Or did you happen to come upon another party where everyone else besides you was smoking like you did last night?”
Uh-oh. I know he’s onto me, and I’m not sure there’s anything I can do about it this time.
“Okay, let me rephrase that before I have to listen to another lie come out of your mouth,” he says, after seeing me hesitate. “How about try this. You snuck away from me, got your hands on some cigarettes, and smoked one. There was no getting lost or anymore of this BS you’re trying to feed me.”
I don’t say a word as we pull out of the parking lot and into traffic, keeping my eyes fixed on the windshield straight ahead. I guess it’s really starting to sink in that I’ve been beat, and it’s making me pretty nervous.
“I’m searching you when we get home,” Justin insists, after another few moments of silence go by.
“I don’t have any cigarettes on me.” I finally decide to admit to something. Maybe if I’m truthful now, he’ll go easy on me later. “I only smoked one.”
“And what about last night at the party?”
My face heats up now, embarrassed. It was bad enough I had already given up some information, and now he wanted more.
“One, or two,” I say, puffing out my cheeks and blowing out a long sigh. I know I have to sound believable, and somehow me being at a party full of cigarettes but not actually smoking one myself isn’t.
“And how about all last week at school?”
I’m silent again, mulling over the possibilities of outcomes in my head. Although fessing up to the cigarette I smoked today and the ones at the party yesterday seemed like a better idea than lying, letting him know I have a hookup at school just seems stupid.
“Um, no?” I try to keep my voice confident, sarcastic even, but the words warble just a little and I immediately regret it.
“You’re lying!” he snaps. “Trust me, Jaden, I am an expert at detecting lies.”
“I’m not lying!” I insist, even though something tells me it’s useless at this point.
“Why’d you take so long to answer me? It shouldn’t be that hard to come up with the truth, now should it?”
Suddenly, I know it’s over. He’s going to take me home and set my butt on fire again, plus do all the other things he’d been threatening to do to me all day. In spite of myself, I feel tears smarting at the back of my eyes as my emotions begin to get to be too much.
“I’m sorry!” I burst out in an uncharacteristically pathetic voice. “I didn’t mean to lie, I just didn’t want you to get all pissed off and spank me again!”
“I don’t spank you because I’m pissed off, I do it for your own good.” The pathetic route must be working, because Justin’s voice is softening just a tad. “Look, maybe I didn’t realize how hard quitting smoking was going to be for you. If you want, we can go out later today and get you the patch.”
All of a sudden, my breathing starts coming a little steadier as I realize he’s not describing in detail the punishment I’m going to get when we
got home. “Really?” I say, my voice slightly hopeful. “You would do that for me?”
“I don’t know why you sound so surprised. What is it going to take for it to get through to you that I’m trying to help?”
“I’m not used to people helping me,” I say, almost suspiciously.
He gives a slight scoff and glances over at me. “Yeah, I got that much,” he mutters dryly. But he doesn’t say anything else about punishment, and realizing how thin the ice is I’m standing on, I don’t say anything else to antagonize him for the rest of the ride.
Chapter Fourteen
Immediately upon arriving home, Justin bustles straight off to his office, presumably to play with all his new stuff, leaving me bored on the couch. It’s then that I remember the computer history. Counting on Justin to stay locked away for at least a few more hours, I figure now is as good a time as any to delete it.
Once I’m in his room, the laptop loading up and coming to life in front of me, I realize there’s probably no harm in playing a few more games. After all, Justin’s safely locked away in his office. If I leave the bedroom door open, I will be able to hear him coming up the stairs.
So I lose myself in online Parcheesi for at least two hours, thinking Justin’s not very smart to leave me unattended up here with a laptop that doesn’t even have a password. After I’m done, I dutifully erase the history and then retreat to my own room to paint my nails with some of Jessica’s old nail polish—Peach Cream. Just in time too, because it isn’t long later before there’s a knock on the door. Before I can answer, it cracks open.
“Jaden?” Justin calls, poking his head in. “Are you ready for me to check your homework yet?”
“You didn’t tell me to do my homework,” I say, a bit affronted that he’s bothering me about this now.
“I shouldn’t have to tell you,” he says, coming all the way into the room now. “Don’t tell me you didn’t even start it.”
“Okay,” I say offhandedly. “I won’t then.”