Losing Eva (The Eva Series Book 2)
Page 20
Amy looked around the room sadly. She didn’t want to leave. She thought of her big husband, and how sweet he was to her, and it made her miss him even more. How will he find me when he comes back? How can he think that I will be happy without him?
“Come on C-Amy! Let’s go see our new big house!” Noah was excited, and he couldn’t wait to see his new house and his new room. Brynn had been getting the house ready for them and he couldn’t wait to see his room.
Kelly’s phone buzzed, and she checked it quickly. “Okay, folks,” she said a little too brightly. “It’s time to hit the road to the Harper House.”
Noah jumped up and down in excitement. Amy looked at him, annoyed with Noah for the first time. She wasn’t ready to go yet, but before she could protest, Kelly was wheeling her chair out of the room toward the elevator.
Amy watched her room disappear when the elevator doors closed, her stomach feeling sick suddenly. She hoped the feeling would go away, but the nausea was coming more and more lately, and it seemed like she never went too long without it.
All three stopped when they got out the front door. The big, sleek truck in front of them was mesmerizing. A sharply dressed middle-aged man in a black suit appeared out of nowhere. “Hi, I’m Tony. I’ll be your driver today. Please, get in,” he said gesturing to the open door. Noah and Kelly got in promptly, but Amy sat there waiting for Tony to help her, which he quickly obliged.
He expertly folded the wheelchair up and put it in the back of the truck. “When we get to the Big House, Miss, you’ll have an electric cart to take you around in. You’ll be able to go all over the grounds.” He smiled at Amy and tipped his hat.
Kelly wondered briefly if Tony had been at the Harper House when Amy lived there, but that would have been over thirty years ago. Unless Tony was five or ten when he lived there, Kelly doubted it. She was trying to make a connection between the house and Amy. She knew that it would make Amy feel better about the move.
The drive to the House was very quiet and seemed to take a long time. Kelly could feel the nervous energy in the car, and she tried to steady her nerves. She didn’t know why she was so nervous; after all, this was a short stay for her. Kelly was getting married next year, and declined the servant quarters for a quiet home a few miles away. She wanted to be close, but still have a life of her own.
The car suddenly slowed and turned into a long driveway lined by magnificent pine trees that were hundreds of feet tall. They all peered out the window in awe, Noah’s face pressed tight up against the glass, smearing it with breath and spit.
The driveway was long and pulled into a large roundabout. All three stared at the house in amazement. It definitely lived up to the name “The Big House.”
Amy looked at the front entrance and felt a strange familiarity tickling at her. She knew that she had been here before, many times. She was eager to get out of the car.
They pulled to a stop before the front steps. Amy noticed that there was a wheelchair ramp that looked new, to the left of the stairs. A petite, dark haired woman was standing in front of the house. Amy thought that she was beautiful and hauntingly familiar.
Tony opened the door, and Noah exploded out of the car like a bullet. Kelly got out and held her hand out to Amy who grabbed it tightly. Tony and Kelly got Amy situated in the wheelchair and Amy took a breath and inhaled deeply through her nose. I know the smell of this place! I’ve been here before! Amy suddenly got a picture of a handsome dark haired man smiling at her. James!
Tears pricked at her eyes. Where have I been? Where did I go?
The woman standing at the steps looked at Amy, concerned. After she had hugged Noah and Kelly, Amy noticed that the woman didn’t move. She just stared at Amy, with curiosity. The woman looked familiar to Amy, but she didn’t know who she was. Amy never knew who anyone was anymore.
But this woman was different.
Suddenly the woman started walking toward Amy. She walked as Ellie used to walk and she reminded her of Ellie.
The woman opened her mouth to speak, and Amy thought it was Ellie speaking. The woman’s voice had the same earthy tone to it, and Amy closed her eyes for just a second. She opened them quickly, her eyes wide in recognition.
She grabbed the younger woman and pulled her as close as she could, with a strength that she thought disappeared a long time ago.
Chapter Forty
Home at Last
EVERYONE HELD THEIR BREATH as they watched Amy grab Brynn and hold her tight.
“Eva! Eva! Oh my Eva! I thought that I would never see you again!” Amy cried.
Brynn stared into Amy’s big brown eyes, the same brown eyes as her own.
She searched Amy’s face, a face so much like the one she stared at in the mirror every day, only older. And if possible, sadder. She knew Amy’s face, she felt as though she somehow remembered her face. Brynn saw glimpses of a younger face smiling at her with perfect white teeth, almost like an angel.
In all of her life, Brynn couldn’t remember ever letting anyone hold her so closely and so soon, without wanting to pull away. Not even Adam. But Amy felt familiar in a way that Brynn couldn’t explain.
Amy felt like home.
Brynn saw tears falling down Amy’s cheeks and felt warm tears on her own cheeks. The two women hadn’t even had a conversation, but Brynn knew that they didn’t need words. There had always been something special between them. This had been the bond that Brynn had been missing; not Ellie, not Adam, not even Nick. All along, she had been waiting for Amy. Amy and Noah. They were her family now, and Brynn knew it just as certain as she had ever known anything. With the growing child inside of her, Brynn was struck with the realization that she was finally going to have the life that she had longed for, prayed for, even as a child. She was going to have a home with people who loved her.
Brynn had a family.
There was something about Amy and Noah that felt as familiar to her as anything had ever felt. She had always felt out of place in the world, but now she not only had a physical home, but people who felt like home to her.
Time stood still as Amy and Brynn held onto each other. Brynn closed her eyes, and she felt like a little girl, and imagined Amy holding her as a child. When they pulled away from one another, they smiled the same smile.
Brynn had wanted to meet Amy before. She had begged John. But Amy hadn’t been doing well, and John felt it was best to wait.
Kelly watched from a distance and was amazed at how much they looked alike, the resemblance uncanny. She could see the resemblance in Noah, and she was happy that they had found one another. Something felt complete, and Kelly was happy to be a part of it. It had been hard for her to leave the home that her grandparents had built. But Kelly was drawn to Noah and Amy, and when John asked her to take care of them, she didn’t hesitate. She didn’t need the money that he offered her, but she did it so she could remain a part of them. They were special and she couldn’t part with them as she had done with so many of the other residents.
Brynn ushered everyone into the house and had the help show them around. The house was full with the entire staff. Brynn wanted them there for the homecoming so they could all meet and work out their schedules. She was managing the house as she managed the restaurant, quickly and efficiently, giving everyone a role and sending them off to do it.
Noah had noticed her growing belly on his last visit before moving into the Big House.
“Brynn, you’re getting fat.” He said pointing to her stomach. “Are you eating too much food?”
“No,” Brynn smiled, ruffling his hair. “There’s a baby growing in there.”
“There is?” Noah smiled. “I like babies!”
Brynn smiled back at him. “You’re going to be an uncle!”
Noah jumped up and down in excitement. “I’m going to be an uncle! I’m going to be an uncle!”
He stopped suddenly, a worried look coming across his face. “What’s an uncle? I don’t know how to be an uncle!”
“Who is the baby’s daddy? My daddy is dead.” Noah asked and stated all at once.
Brynn wasn’t sure how to answer him, so she didn’t. She didn’t want to tell him that she wasn’t sure who the father was. Adam, who was no longer in her life, or Nick who she was trying desperately to ignore.
The last time Brynn talked to Nick was before she knew that she was pregnant. She had refused to answer the phone, but he kept calling and texting.
She finally picked up the phone one last time to tell him to stop calling her. “I don’t want to talk to you,” Brynn yelled at him on the phone.
“Brynn! Brynn! Please, hear me out!” Nick was begging, and Brynn admitted to herself that she loved the sound of his voice. “I’m done, I’ve moved out. The divorce is almost final. Please, let me visit you. Let me explain it to you. I’ve been a horrible person, but I never meant to hurt you. I was trying to protect her, take care of things so that she would be okay. I’m so sorry for hurting you.”
“I can’t!” Brynn said gripping the phone in her hand. “I can’t trust you anymore.” She wanted to trust him. She wanted to give him a chance. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t stop thinking about Nick. She couldn’t stop lying awake in bed at night remembering his lips on hers, or the sound of his voice in her ears. But she couldn’t allow him to hurt her again.
“I can’t talk to you anymore, Nick. Please.” Brynn was crying, her sobs crushing him. He never wanted to hurt her. After he caught Mel answering his phone, he finally found the courage to leave her. He knew at that moment that he only wanted Brynn. He hadn’t loved Mel for a long time, her boozy anger and mismanaged mental illness had slowly destroyed him, wearing him down.
Nick realized that in a few short days, Brynn had begun to heal him, connecting with him in their mutual pain, and that all he wanted was a chance to be with her. He just wanted to be able to show her that even though he lied, his feelings for her were real.
“Please don’t call me again.” Brynn said her voice barely audible, and then she hung up, refusing to pick up the phone again when he called.
Chapter Forty-One
Family
BRYNN’S LIFE WAS SO DIFFERENT than it had been a year ago. Jane managed the restaurant solely now, and Brynn had given her full partnership. Brynn was barely involved and trusted Jane completely. Her days were full with Noah and Amy, and as her pregnancy progressed, she found herself more fatigued.
Brynn found that she loved the house and rarely found excuses to leave. She was proud of the work she had done and how it had been beautifully restored under her supervision, years of neglect stripped away. She tried to imagine what it looked like when she was a baby, being carried into the house for the first time. But that had been so long ago and nothing that happened after was happy. Brynn wanted her baby to come into a happy home, and she wanted the home to be filled with love and laughter. With Amy, Noah, Kelly, and the staff, she was finding that there was plenty of love and laughter to go around.
Even though she hadn’t had the ultrasound yet, Brynn knew that her baby was a girl. She talked to her baby girl every day, apologizing for her own shortcomings, explaining her decisions when she talked to her baby, she didn’t feel so alone.
Walking into the home for the first time with her grandmother, Brynn had been a little afraid. John had assured her that she had done a beautiful job and that the house was beautiful. But she was afraid that she had changed it too much, and that Amy wouldn’t recognize it. John warned her that Amy might not recognize it anyway.
Amy looked around in awe as Brynn wheeled her through the gigantic foyer in front of the winding double staircase. “I lived here?”
“Yes,” Brynn said softly. “You lived here, for a long time.”
“It’s beautiful,” Amy breathed. “Did it look like this when I lived here?”
“It looked a lot like this, but I made some changes.” Brynn said smiling.
Amy patted her hand. “Good girl. It’s gorgeous.” Brynn couldn’t help but beam. Her heart was bursting with pride that Amy liked it. The hard part was over now, and she could get everyone settled in.
John smiled as he watched them move through the home. He had spent his entire life trying to restore the Harper legacy, and now it was finally coming together. He breathed a sigh of relief, happy to see the Big House restored and lived in again. He knew that James, his good friend and mentor, would be proud of him.
The next few months were a blur as everyone settled into normal life. Brynn’s belly got rounder, and she and Amy were inseparable. In a lot of ways, Amy was the mother that Brynn longed for all of her life.
Amy’s memory came back in flashes, but it didn’t matter anymore. She felt at home with Brynn, and she didn’t miss Petey, or his sister, Lily, as much, when she was with her granddaughter. She didn’t remember baby Eva, but something about Brynn’s big brown eyes gave her comfort. She knew Brynn by her eyes. She was the only person she was completely comfortable with…
Brynn and Kelly became close, almost as close as sisters.
Besides Jane, Brynn never had another female friend as an adult. She had never allowed herself to get close to anyone before, but Kelly was different, and for some reason, Brynn trusted her right away. She was helpful with Noah, but it was more than that. She seemed to understand Brynn, and she was a true caregiver. Kelly was smart, organized, and thoughtful. Brynn liked having her around. Kelly noticed that Noah was happier and calmer. The house had a soothing effect on him, and he spent hours pretending that he was an explorer as he discovered every nook and cranny of his new home. Much to everyone’s surprise, he was even cooperative with his new tutor, Trina. Kelly took care of more than just Noah and Amy. Even though Brynn didn’t realize it, Kelly was taking care of her, too.
“How are you feeling?” Kelly asked Brynn, as she neared her seventh month.
“Tired!” Brynn exclaimed smiling weakly. Brynn rubbed her belly absently. “This little girl is wearing me out.”
“I hear it only gets worse,” Kelly said smiling wryly.
“Yeah, thanks!” Brynn said sticking out her tongue.
“Oh, wait,” Kelly disappeared from the kitchen. She arrived carrying a large bouquet. “These are for you.”
Brynn frowned, her face growing dark. Kelly pulled out the card. “Shall I?”
Brynn was quiet.
Kelly pulled the card out slowly waiting for Brynn to protest. “Brynn…” she read slowly.
Brynn was still.
“I miss you.”
There was no reaction.
“I need you in my life. You’ve restored me. Please.”
Brynn’s eyes filled with tears.
Kelly hesitated, and read on.
“Please,” she repeated. “Talk to me. Give me a chance. Let me show you. Love, Nick”
Brynn stared at the beautiful assembly of mixed flowers and smiled. She’d heard it all before. He had been emailing, texting, and instant messaging her for months, but she had ignored him. He didn’t know that she was pregnant, and she had no intention of telling him. He didn’t know anything. Brynn wondered what he would say if he knew. She imagined that he would be happy. But they barely knew each other. How could they start a relationship with a child?
And then there was Adam. Adam who had just spent a month in rehab. Adam, who wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. Adam who kept calling, texting, stopping by unannounced. She had managed to avoid him, until a couple of months ago when he arrived unexpectedly on the porch of the Harper House.
“You’re pregnant?!” He was stunned. “You’re pregnant, and you didn’t tell me? How could you not tell me?”
Brynn tried to ignore the hurt in his voice. She avoided looking into his blue eyes because she was afraid that they would still turn her inside out.
“I didn’t tell you because it’s non
e of your business anymore,” she said, her tone sharper than she meant it to be.
“My child is my business!” he said bitterly, pacing back and forth in front of her.
“Who said it was yours?” Brynn said angrily.
The tension between them was thick. Adam looked at Brynn in disbelief, trying to find his Brynn in the woman she had become. His Brynn would never sleep with someone else. His Brynn loved him and would never glare at him with those dark angry eyes—eyes that belonged to a stranger. His Brynn would never keep her pregnancy from him.
“Leave!” Brynn said, opening the front door.
“So we’re not going to talk about this? How do I know if that is my baby?” Adam couldn’t believe she was walking away.
“You don’t. And it’s not.” Brynn walked through the front door and closed it behind her, locking it. Adam always had a way of showing up in her life, but she had spent a lot of time over the years locking him out. Nobody had hurt her the way that Adam had, deep and to the core. She convinced herself that she hated him, and this baby wasn’t going to give him a reason to hurt her again. The fifteen-year-old kids that fell in love, so very long ago, were gone forever.
Brynn’s phone buzzed.
“Did you get the flowers? I’m in town. I want to see you. Please meet me at the winery. 5:00. Don’t say NO!”
Brynn shook her head and laughed. The winery! What will he say when he sees me, and he realizes that I can’t drink wine?
She showed Kelly the text, and Kelly’s eyes grew big. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know. I think…” Brynn was hesitant. “I think… that I should go see him and talk in person. I think that I should just do it.”
Brynn had spent months convincing herself that she didn’t love him. She thought that it was insane to love someone that she had only spent a week with, but she couldn’t stop thinking about him no matter how hard she tried. Even if it didn’t work out, Brynn knew that she had to at least talk to him. She couldn’t go the rest of her life not knowing what it would have been like to at least give him a chance. Brynn had spent her entire life afraid of something or someone. She was tired of being afraid, and of living in fear.