by M. Never
“Kira?” I hear Ky’s voice next to me. When I take my hands away from my face, I find him on one knee beside me.
“I’m fine.” I suck it up. I have so many mixed emotions when I look at him. So much I want to say. So much I want to scream.
I take a few deep breaths and calm myself. Wiping my face, I send him away. “I’m okay. Go sit down.” I then look at Dahlia. “Let’s do this.”
Dahlia puts on her bravest expression for me.
“Let’s do this. You have a gorgeous face. I know exactly the cut that will look fabulous on you.”
I may have only met Dahlia fifteen minutes ago, but I decide I like her. She’s genuine, and I can really use some of that in my life right now.
I close my eyes as Dahlia snips away, shaping and evening what’s left of my hair.
When she turns the blow dryer on and I feel the warm air against my bare neck, I open my eyes. What I see is a little shocking, but I’ve learned to judge a haircut once it’s completely finished.
I watch Dahlia brush and blow dry my hair simultaneously. She smooths it out until it’s pin straight and the blonde is shiny and dry.
“All finished.” She steps aside, confident in her work. I gaze at myself in the mirror. The bob haircut is actually beautiful, even if it’s a style I never considered before. The front is a tad longer than the back, but it all still moves in a light and airy way.
I look over at Ky meekly. “What do you think?”
“Actually.” He stands and strides over to us. “I love it. It’s sexy.” He touches the end of one strand.
“I agree,” Dahlia adds. “It’s beautiful and edgy and enhances the features of your face.”
“Thank you.” It’s nice to hear a compliment.
“Anytime.” She really is so sweet. A young, hot brunette who rocks leather is definitely not what I was expecting when Ky’s friend called her an “ol’ lady.”
“What do I owe you?” Ky goes to grab his wallet.
“Not a thing,” Dahlia stops him.
“C’mon,” he pushes.
“Nope. Just take care of this one.” She taps her curled finger under my chin.
“That goes without saying.”
I steam a little from his response. I hold back my irritation, saving it for later. He may be trying to make things right, but he’s not just going to waltz right back into my life like yesterday never happened.
Fuck. No.
Ky places a twenty on Dahlia’s station. “No arguments.”
She stops while she’s ahead.
“Kira, maybe our paths will cross again soon.” She sounds hopeful.
“I’d like that.” I slip out of the chair feeling, surprisingly, world’s better. I can now blend back into society without weird looks or insecurity.
Ky slides his arms around me protectively, and we walk back out into the sunshine.
“You good, Snow?” Ky drags his hand up to the back of my neck and leans in for a kiss, but I jerk away.
Ky isn’t keen on that response. “Okay, I get it.” His voice is even, but his expression is cross. “We’ll get back to where we were. Even better than we were before.”
I’m glad he’s so confident, because I have serious doubts.
“Where to now?” I climb on to the bike and strap on the helmet. “We’ll head back to the Lion’s Den. Regroup.”
“Do you think we should go to the cops?” I suggest. Now that my mind is right, I’m thinking a little more clearly.
“No cops. Waste of time. If you want something done right, you need to do it yourself.”
Vigilantism. Fantastic.
“What would have happened if there was still someone in the house when you got there?” I don’t know why I ask the question. Morbid curiosity, maybe.
Ky glances back at me as he turns on the bike. “I would have shot them in the fucking face. Hold on.”
Ask an honest question, get an honest answer.
He releases the throttle, and I grab onto him just in time to keep me from being kicked off the back from the acceleration.
Jesus. I think I put him in a mood. Tough shit. Misery loves company. And right now, I’m fucking miserable.
The ride down the highway is uncomfortable. You can feel the tension surging through both our bodies like lightning conductors.
My emotions are a mixed bag of tricks, and I never know which one I’m going to pull out next. One side of me bursting with love for Ky. He came for me. He didn’t abandon me when I needed him most. He’s showing he wants to fix things. The other side is filled with anger. I resent him for walking out on me the second he found out something he didn’t like. That he accused me of things that weren’t true and didn't even entertain the idea of letting me explain. He made his own conclusions and left, opening me up to all kinds of vulnerabilities. My biggest concern is that he’ll do it again. That this is a habitual habit of his. That’s it’s a personality trait. I’m not perfect. No one is, and if he’s going to cut me out every time his trust is tested, there’s no hope for us. Trust is the foundation of a relationship, and if Ky has none, there can be no us.
An annoying rumble of an engine pulls me from my jarring thoughts. The black car next to us veers over into our lane, nearly hitting us.
“Holy shit.” I cling tighter to Ky, my pulse rate spiking.
“Asshole,” Ky spits as he accelerates a bit. He can’t go much faster because of the line of cars in front of us.
The highway is congested this afternoon, so switching lanes is difficult at the moment. The black car hangs back, giving us the room we need. Ky uses the little stretch of road allowed to break free from the cluster of traffic.
I hear the same roar of the engine again and turn to see the black car following us.
“Do you have any idea who that is?” I yell to Ky.
“Not a damn clue.” Just as Ky answers, the black muscle car is on our ass, accelerating at frightening speed.
“Ky, drive faster,” I screech as I see the tip of the headlight dangerously close to the back tire. One tiny bump, and it’s lights out Ky and Kira.
“Hang on.” Ky swerves out of the lane, but the car follows. A cat chasing a mouse down the highway at death-defying speeds.
The car catches up to us again, and again comes terrifyingly close to the back tire.
“Ky, watch out,” I scream in horror. There’s nothing around us, no doors or roof to protect us. No airbags or safety features. We are sitting ducks, and the highway is the Grim Reaper waiting to claim us as his own.
The engine in the black car wails, and I feel my life coming to an end. He’s going to hit us. He’s going to hit us. He’s going to hit us.
“Ky,” I wail into the whipping wind. I hold on tight, tears streaming down my cheeks as Ky takes matters into his own hands and shoots between two cars that are parallel to each other in front of us. Driving right down the dotted lines, he squeezes us into the barely there space. The sedans honk and curse, but neither of us care. We just need to get away from the psycho muscle car trying to kill us. Ky stays sandwiched between moving vehicles using them as a cover to escape. I don’t look back anymore; I just bury my face in Ky’s shirt, praying for our lives.
I only choose to look up when I feel the bike veer off the highway.
“Is he gone?” I stutter.
“For now.” Ky’s tone is chilling. It’s a mix of calm and crucify.
Once we arrive at The Lion’s Den, I all but fall off the bike onto the ground. I hyperventilate on all fours, never so grateful to feel dirt beneath my fingers.
“Just breathe, Snow.” Ky rubs my back, trying to calm me. “You’re safe now.”
“Safe? I feel like I’m in a fucking horror movie.” Tears careen down my cheeks and saturate my skin.
Ky scoops me up, and I lock my arms around his neck and weep. I just need to get it all out. All the emotions massacring my insides.
I don’t know how long I cry or who sees me falling to pieces i
n the parking lot, but I can’t imagine this is good for Ky’s image. He doesn't seem to be bothered, though. He just holds me securely, whispering sweet, consoling words until I go limp in his arms. Until I can’t shed another tear.
I lift my puffy, soaked face up to his. It feels as if all the life has been sucked out of my body.
“Better now?” he asks.
“Not at all, but thank you.” I sniff.
“Anything for you, Snow.” He begins to lean in to kiss me, but stops. We linger there, our lips inches apart. As pissed off as I am at him, I need him equally as much. I squeeze my arm, closing the last bit of distance between us, and kiss him with more ferocity than I knew I was even capable of. Ky tightens his hold, deepening the kiss, massaging his tongue furiously against mine. He steals my breath. And steals my fear. And offers all the stability I’m desperate for.
Ky sucks lightly on my bottom lip at the tail end of the kiss. We’re both wound up and winded, but have found some calm in each other’s arms.
“Let’s go inside.”
I nod silently as Ky gets us onto our feet. We’re covered in dust and most definitely look like we narrowly survived a high-speed car chase.
Ky takes my hand and leads me up onto the front deck of the bar. I have flashbacks of the last time I was here. I was so out of my element and nearly accosted.
“I’m not going to get surrounded again, am I?” I ask only half-joking.
“No one is going to come near you unless I give the okay.”
We walk through the threshold, and as soon as we cross the divide, every single eye lands on us. There aren’t a ton of people in the place, but there’s enough to make it uncomfortable.
“What the fuck happened to you two?” that asshole Hawk exclaims.
“We had a lovely run-in with a Challenger that tried to run us off the road.”
“What?” Half the men in the room stand at attention.
“Did you get the fucking license plate?” Hawk is up Ky’s ass in a nanosecond.
“No, I was too busy trying to avoid being roadkill.”
“What about you? Did you get a look? See any numbers or letters?” he addresses me.
“No,” I snap. I can’t stand him. Looking at a license plate number was the last thing on my mind as I stared down the throat of death.
Ky definitely picks up on my animosity. “I think we need a drink.” He locks his arm around me possessively and walks me to the bar. Plopping me on a stool, he orders from the busty brunette lingering beside the beer taps. “Two shots, two chasers.”
She definitely wasn’t manning the bar last time I was here. Jesus, if that shirt was any lower, her nipples would be showing. I try not to gawk, and she barely acknowledges my existence.
“Did you get a look at the driver, at least? Anything distinctive on the car?” Hawk continues to interrogate Ky.
“The fuckin’ windows were tinted. There were no markings that I could see. The fucker came outta nowhere.” Ky picks up the shot glass the bartender places in front of him and pounds the dark liquid immediately. “Another.” He slides the little empty glass back.
I follow suit, drinking the nasty brown liquid. Yuck. I grab for the chaser of soda and immediately suck it down.
“Slash.” Hawk leans in closer to Ky. “I have to ask.” His voice lowers. “Has Kira been out of your sight at all? Even for a minute?”
Rage erupts inside me. Does he honestly think I can’t hear him? “You think I had something to do with this? That I orchestrated it? Who exactly do you think I am? A criminal mastermind?” I leap to my feet, and Ky catches me in an arm-hold.
“I’m just investigating it from all angles. You have mental instabilities.”
“I am not crazy!” I explode. “I am the victim.” I try to fight my way out of Ky’s grasp. If Hawk wants to see crazy, I’ll show him crazy.
“Chill out, Snow.” Ky actually finds this humorous. “I know you want to scratch his eyes out, but they barely work anyway. It’s not even worth it. Now, if you want to kick him in the balls, I’m all for that.”
“Slash.” Hawk covers his crotch with both hands. Everyone around us, except Hawk, laughs.
“Have a drink, Snow.” Ky pulls me onto his lap and pushes the shot glass my way. I shoot it without a second thought. It’s still disgusting. “Good girl.” He kisses my neck.
I try to calm down, I really do. But Hawk airing all my dirty laundry is making me homicidal. “I’m going to say this one last time. What you read in that file was a manifestation of things that happened in my past. Post-traumatic stress from my abusive father. I am not proud of it, but I have worked fucking hard to escape the shadow of that emotional trauma. And I am not going to let you use what happened to me back then as a scapegoat for what’s happening now.”
“I’m not going to let him do that either. Hawk is just doing his job,” Ky tries to play mediator.
“And what job would that be? Grade-A asshole?”
“He has been known to wear that patch,” one of the other guys who was at my house this morning chimes in. I don’t know anyone’s names except I’ve-got-a-hard-on-to-ruin-your-life Hawk.
“He definitely needs to get laid more,” another adds.
“Will you two shut the fuck up?” Hawk snaps.
“Sucks when someone gangs up on you,” I sneer.
“All right, enough. This isn’t getting us anywhere,” Ky puts the kibosh on the all the bickering. “Hawk, look into any stolen Challengers in the area. Maybe that will be a lead.”
Hawk nods. “I’m ten steps ahead of you.”
“Good.” Ky stands, sliding me gently off his lap. He drinks the last shot, then slams the glass upside-down on the creaky worn wood. “I’m taking Kira home to rest. If anything pops up, call me.”
“I have one more question for Kira,” Hawk delays our departure.
“What now?” I cross my arms.
“Your mom, she’s a pretty high-profile figure, right?”
“You could say that. Where are you going with this?” I eye him suspiciously.
“Has she had any issues with anyone? A crazy fan? A jealous business partner?”
“No, everyone loves my mother. The only person she’s ever had an issue with is my piece-of-shit father.”
“We’re already looking into him.” Hawk scratches his stubbly chin. “That lead seems cold, though.”
“I still think it’s time to go to the police.” I offer my opinion on the matter.
“Hawk pretty much is the police,” Ky informs me. “If anyone can snuff out who it is, he can. He has access to all their resources.”
“Please forgive me if my faith is tested when it comes to his abilities.” I’m obstinate.
“You two will learn to get along, eventually.” Ky is confident.
Glad someone is.
Ky bumps fists with the three men around us. Then one of them holds his fist up to me. I touch my knuckles to his. “I’m Vet, by the way. And that’s Breaker.” His tone is mild, same as it was this morning when he suggested Dahlia’s salon.
“Nice to formally meet you.” I try for polite.
“You need anything, we’re here. We protect the Prez and his ol’ lady.”
I grimace at the name. He called Dahlia that, too, and she was nowhere near old.
“That’s enough talk of ol’ ladies,” Ky interjects. “Kira and I have some stuff to hash out.”
Do we ever. “No thanks to Hawk,” I mutter irritably under my breath.
“Easy, killer.” Ky takes my hand and presses a kiss to it. I suddenly feel like I’m under a microscope. Everyone in the place is scrutinizing us. All the men, and especially all the women. There aren’t many, but definitely enough.
Once we’re outside, I share my thoughts with Ky. “They don’t like me.”
“Who doesn't?”
“All those people in there. They don’t like me with you.”
“Are you with me?” He probes.
Fa
ir question.
“I’m still undecided.”
“Gonna make me beg for it, huh?”
“Maybe.”
“Then maybe it’ll happen.”
“I have a feeling you’ve never begged for a thing in your life.”
“On the female front, no.” He laughs. “But you may be an exception.” He places his finger under my chin.
“We’ll see.” I’m skeptical. I’ve spent enough time with Ky to know he’s proud. Way too proud. So proud, it blurs his vision, causing him to make rash decisions. Decisions that can be detrimental.
“You have my heart, Snow, whether you want to believe it or not.”
He has mine, too, and that’s a huge part of the problem.
18
Ky
KIRA HAS BEEN RUNNING hot and cold all day.
I know she’s scared. I know she’s upset. And I know she’s confused. I also know a majority of all that is my fault.
What Kira doesn’t realize is that I have been in dire situations before. I’ve been knocked down, shot at, left behind, and I’ve always come back swinging. This time is no different. I will fight to fix things. Fix everything, because Kira is all I want. I want her safe, I want her happy, and I want her with me.
“My bedroom is upstairs.” I walk her through my condo. It’s a two-story end unit with a nice view of the expansive courtyard with gazebo and small duck pond. “Go lie down, and I’ll be up in a minute.”
“Can you bring me a drink, please?” She climbs the stairs slowly, physically exhausted.
“Water or beer?” I offer. It’s about all I have.
Kira snickers. “Water is fine.”
I watch her disappear to the second floor. Grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge, I crack it open and take a sip. I want to pour it over my head and wash away everything that went wrong in the last twenty-four hours. But a baptism isn’t going to change the past. It can only help me do right in the future.
In my room, I find Kira curled up in the fetal position. I sit down next to her and hand her the water. She gulps it down wearily. I brush her hair away from her face once she places her head back on my pillow. I like her lying there. I like her in my room, in my bed, part of my world.