“Here he is. See you soon. Say hello to everybody.”
I passed the phone to Jack and went to my room to get ready for the upcoming ordeal.
Chapter Thirty
Jack
WE TOOK off around ten o’clock on Thursday morning, leaving Drew and Alec to finish packing. Mark and Sid Brandon, the Blues Brothers, would come on Tuesday morning.
I’d rented a truck the day before, stuffed it with food, water, our clothes and extra blankets. All the way to the cabin Astrid was quietly dozing, head pressed against the window pane. She was obviously in discomfort—she wouldn’t admit pain—and her body temperature was high. Tristan and Liv had warned me about her symptoms, so I tried not to panic.
There was another reason why I wanted her out of the house as soon as possible: more male werewolves were coming. With her transformation approaching, her body released more and more of her natural scent, saturated with hormones. Ignoring her conscious mind, her body sent signals all around that she was ready to mate. “You are in heat, my love, and even though it isn’t the real estrus because you can’t get pregnant during it, it’s a hormonal-driven craziness hard to control.” I wanted to explain to her, but then it crossed my mind that even her famous receptiveness must have its limits.
To Astrid, a brainy, rational wizard, the transformation into a werewolf was an unwanted, inevitable and painful monthly hassle, complicated enough without its sexual connotations. Her cool, logical mind would certainly have some difficulty accepting such a carnal explanation. I remembered how shocked and disgusted she was when I’d told her that everybody would be able to smell my scent on her if we slept together.
After the initial transformation, our scent was rarely so strong. Compared to other female werewolves, and due to her drastic transformation, Astrid, with her alluring scent, was like an open perfume bottle. Not that anybody would ever think about taking advantage of James’ niece, but her wonderful natural aroma was distracting enough to make us nervous.
We met Liv and Tristan halfway to the cabin. They’d checked the area and hadn’t found anything suspicious.
“Are you sure you don’t want us with you?” Liv asked for the tenth time.
“Liv, please, stop fussing!” Astrid said, frustrated. “You know I don’t like an audience.” She sighed and closed her eyes. “I’m tired. Can we go now, Jack? You two, relax. Take a day off. I’ll be fine.”
Livia tried one more time. “Jack, I still think we should go with you.”
Astrid moaned softly. “Jack, please! Let’s go.”
I knew how fiercely Astrid guarded her privacy during the change, and that was the major reason why I gave in. Of course, everything would be fine. Livia had just been overprotective and Astrid was edgy and tense and in pain, I told myself, ignoring my own unsettled thoughts and the knot in my stomach.
ASTRID TOOK a quick shower in the improvised bathroom, changed into her robe and took a position in the corner of a big couch across from the window. She was noticeably tired. Every once in a while I would find she’d drifted off, curled up under a blanket. Her skin was burning, her breathing was raspy and shallow and her eyes dark. She ate a lot, however, and would feel better immediately after feeding.
She was pretty much the same until Sunday morning. I was close to her all the time, yet there was nothing I could do to make her feel better. I held her hot hand, I let her lean on me and kept her gently pressed against my chest. She was quiet and would only occasionally ask for a glass of water or more food.
I thought my heart would break looking at her so hurt and vulnerable. I could feel her pain every time she shut her eyes and clenched her teeth. Still, she didn’t complain. When the acute pain passed, she would give me a little smile and squeeze my hand.
I understood why she didn’t want witnesses to her weakness.
As she was getting closer to the transformation, the pain seemed to ease and Astrid became more alert. On Sunday afternoon she brought herself up into a sitting position. She was still as hot as an oven, but her breathing was easier, her heartbeats strong, and her eyes—light amber—sharp and focused.
“Now I feel much better,” she said in a throaty voice, deep and sensual.
Astrid under new management!
I’d seen quick glimpses of her wolf spirit before, but always in the background. Now Astrid was still in her human form, but her wolf was in charge.
“Sit here, Jack,” she said and patted the spot beside her. “I promise I’ll behave.”
I did. She immediately nestled herself beside me and took my hand. She lifted her clear amber eyes to mine. “I’ll have occasional spells of sharp pain, but don’t worry. It will intensify toward the end. It’s not unbearable.”
“Astrid, where is… the other Astrid?”
“She’s resting now. This is too much for her, but you know what, that’s her fault. She’s been fighting the change so fiercely and for such a long time that she’s made it worse than it should be. She drives me crazy sometimes.”
Fascinated, I listened to Astrid the Wolf talking about her other self. She looked different, and not only because her eyes had changed color. Her movements were more brisk, her voice deeper, her hair fiery red.
I quickly seized the opportunity to learn more about both of her parts. “Is she going to remember anything this time? Why doesn’t she have memories?”
“She pushes them back, that’s why. She’s never been happy with me.” She sounded hurt, but then added, more cheerfully, “Until you came. Now she’s okay with it.”
“Really?”
“Really. She’s in love with you, but sometimes she’s too much a chicken to show it. She always looks for reasons and logic.” Astrid rolled her amber eyes, the same way she had rolled her blue sapphires so many times before. “She’s oh-so-boring sometimes. But she is a good girl, and a terrific doctor, I’ll give her that.”
I didn’t think Astrid was a chicken, but didn’t want to argue with her wolf. “It’s good you’re not so shy.”
“Thank heavens I’m not,” she said.
Astrid closed her hands around my neck and buried her nose in the hollow of its base. God, she felt so good!
“Whoa, whoa, baby! Take it easy. You’ve promised to be a good girl.” I unlocked her hands. “Tell me something else.” I quickly tried to change the subject, but Astrid hadn’t finished yet.
“That red dress, that was my idea. Well, now, Liv actually suggested it, and I liked it very much, so I made Astrid buy it. But it was your queen of reason and logic, your little Ms. Spock—suits her fine, by the way, that nickname—who kissed you in the parking lot. It wasn’t always me misbehaving... Oh!”
She suddenly stiffened in my lap and pain ran across her face. I could hear her heart picking up. I held her tight and rocked gently until she relaxed.
“I’m okay now,” she said quietly. “You know, I’m in love with you, too. And I have no problem with that. Never had.”
Astrid the Wolf was not only more open in expressing her feelings and needs, but also seemed younger and less mature. Late teens, I would say. “You eventually must let her take over, you know that, love.”
“I know. But I’ll still be a part of her.” She lifted her head and gave me an accusing look. “When you finally decide to make love with us, you are going to deal with me, you know that? You’ll need to bring me up so that I can link with her.”
“Thanks for the hint, Astrid. How do you know that?”
She shrugged. “I’m a wizard, and a werewolf, and an Ellida.”
“Will you help Astrid remember what we’re talking about now?”
“I told you that her whole attitude’s changed since you came. She’ll do anything for you. She loves you, as much as I do. She should remember at least some things. Okay, I have an idea. You know those security questions when you are choosing a password for something? Your first school, your mother’s maiden name, and such? What’s your full name?”
“John William
Canagan.”
“She doesn’t know that. Ask her when this is over.”
“So you know everything about her, and she just senses you?”
“Yeah, something like that. But once we’re linked, she’ll know everything I know.” She lifted her head, zeroing her amber gaze on me. “Including all my little dirty thoughts. Kinky stuff, you know? You’ll like it, too.”
I smiled. Kinky stuff!? You little sexy beast!
She fixed her gaze on me, waiting for my verbal response, but I didn’t bite.
Astrid the Wolf and I continued chatting about Astrid the Wizard, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. It crossed my mind how crazy it would sound if I tried to explain it to anybody outside our world, yet there was nothing strange about it. The Astrid I talked to was still my beloved Astrid, an integral part of that wonderful young woman that I loved with all my heart. Astrid the Wizard was there too, I could feel her and sense her, she was just quiet because she was tired and in pain.
“Would I be able to talk to the other Astrid now?” I asked.
“Of course, but if it’s not necessary, don’t bring her up. She’s in lots of pain.”
“And you’re not?”
“I am, too. But I’m tougher. And much better equipped to deal with it.”
I wanted the answer to another puzzle. “I see. Why do you feel weak in wolf form?”
“Ah, that. How do I explain this? In our human form, between two full moons, Astrid the girl, wizard, doctor, Astrid Vandermeer, call her whatever you like, is in ascent. I’m still there in the background. Now the whole situation is shifting: although we are still in human form, I become stronger and stronger, and she is descending, until we change form. But she stays with me all the time. It’s a cycle that follows the lunar phases. We’ll continue to be defined by it until we link. Anyway, when we later change into wolf form, I’ll be the boss. Our human part will be there too—again because we are not connected—and that causes all the discomfort and weakness. Unless we connect, we can’t develop our full potential either in human or in wolf form.”
There was something else I wanted to clarify. “Where would you place Astrid on a wizard scale?”
“Oh, at the very top. She has a bit of a self-esteem issue, you know. She needs some training, true, but she’s way more powerful than she thinks. It’s good that Ellida Morgaine is coming to teach her, but she can’t help Astrid with metal. Find somebody to train her to use swords and knives and daggers. That would be her use of metal.” She smirked. “She is so non-aggressive. She should learn how to fight.”
“She’s good with some knives, though.”
“Yes, with her scalpels, I’ll give you that much. With those knives, she’s the best.”
THAT DAY I learned a lot about Astrid. Her wolf wasn’t very demure, but young and immature as she was, she was easy-going, smart and wise.
She seemed focused on our conversation, and I relaxed. I was concerned about her sensual side and the challenge it could bring up, but at the moment the wolf seemed in perfect command of herself.
Well, almost perfect. Without any warning, Astrid changed the subject. “Did you have a girlfriend in Red Cliffs before you came here?” she asked.
“You mean a steady relationship?”
“You know what I mean. Is there anybody there who would give me grief?”
I tried Astrid’s own tactic—answer the question with another question. “Do you know how old I am?”
“I know.”
“Then you can imagine I’ve had a relationship or two.”
“Anybody I should be aware of?”
So, my plan didn’t work. “Whatever it was, it had been over long before I met you. No hard feelings, no grudges. Happy?”
“Hmm… Kiss me, Jack.”
“No kissing,” I said firmly and tried to push her back to the pillow, but she got rigid again as pain ripped through her. Fine beads of sweat broke on her hairline. I gently wiped them off.
She pressed closer. “Jack, don’t let me suffer anymore. Make love to me.” Her voice was barely a whisper. Her hot breath felt like burns on my skin.
“Astrid, you know we can’t. Now would already be too late anyway. You are about to transform.”
“How about a quickie?” She managed a smile through another wave of pain. “Or a bit of touching, making out. You know what teenagers do.”
Boy, there was nothing in the world that I would have wanted more than to take her bathrobe off and love her until there would be no pain, just sweet, sweet pleasure.
“Maybe some oral sex,” she continued. “Wouldn’t hurt if I practiced it a bit. What do you say?”
I swallow hard, trying not to imagine her practicing too vividly. “Stop it,” I said firmly. “Once your spirits are connected, you’ll be welcome to use me for improving your skills as much as you want.” I gently pushed her back on the pillow and rose. “I’ll make you something to eat.”
“Jack.” She stopped me. “Come closer, I want to tell you something.” She reached for my hand and pulled me down beside the couch. “Don’t ask me how I know. I just know. When we have sex for the first time, my spirits will link. We should do that close to the change, but don’t wait until the full moon rises. That’s too late, the pain is too strong. You’ll see tonight how fast I shift. If you’re not around, we need to wait till the next month. And Jack...” She pulled my head closer. “There’s something else you need to know.”
My heart threatened to jump out of my chest as she started whispering another set of instructions into my ear. Very kinky instructions.
“Are you sure?” I stuttered, gasping for air and laughing at the same time.
“Ask Ellida Morgaine, I’m sure she will confirm it.”
“You expect me to discuss sexual positions with Ellida Morgaine?”
“Then take my word for it. It’s logical. Basically your wolf’s dealing with another wolf, and that’s how wolves copulate. Your wolf needs to convince me to join my human spirit, right?”
“I’ll keep your tips in mind, Astrid. And I’m relieved to see that you also have a strong logical side.”
“Oh, Jack, when you’ve lived with Ms. Spock for so many years, logic is your middle name… Please bring me something to eat.” She glanced through the window into the soft early night. “I’m always hungry before my transformation.”
AFTER SHE ate, Astrid insisted on moving to the bedroom. She was in constant pain, and I felt helpless and frustrated. “It’s coming!” she groaned suddenly. “Leave the room now!”
“I’m not leaving! I’m staying with you!”
“You’ll leave, Jack!”
“The hell I will!”
“Get out!!!”
These were the last words I heard. With a great effort, Astrid crouched on the middle of the bed and took off her robe. Her breathing was fast and labored, interrupted by painful groans, first softly, then more heavy, until they mingled into a single roar as powerful as a coming thunderstorm.
My own transformation was fast, faster than any other werewolf I knew, but it still took a few moments during which I was able to actually see how my bones and skin changed into another form.
I heard a tearing sound coming out of Astrid’s body. Fascinated and speechless, I saw how her white body turned briefly first into an undefined bloody mass, as if some unknown power had turned her inside out, and the next moment a huge wolf erupted from it.
Stretched across the bed lay the biggest and the most beautiful bleithast I’d ever seen.
“Hey, Jack.” I heard her soft voice in my head.
“Hey baby,” I muttered, mesmerized. “You okay? Are you hurt?”
“I’m fine. A bit tired.”
I was finally able to move. I took her head between my hands and buried my head into her soft, reddish fur. She smelled wonderful.
She rested her head between my neck and shoulder, her favorite place. I could hear how her heart gradually slowed down to a steady
, strong rhythm. Her breathing was deep and regular.
“I’m okay, don’t worry so much… Oh, it is easy to talk to you! Sorry I was naughty before.”
“You were wonderful. I love you, Astrid.”
She nudged my chin with her muzzle. “I love you too, Jack. Tell me about me. There is no mirror here. I’d never wanted to see myself before.”
“You are a magnificent wolf, Astrid. You are huge, you are about my size, and I am a big wolf. ”
“Extra-large size, huh?”
“Among werewolves, size matters,” I explained stroking her fur gently. “Bigger wolves are stronger, more powerful. Alphas are usually the biggest wolves in a pack. You are an Alpha female, love, like it or not.”
“Oh, I think I might like it, after all.”
“See your fur? It’s almost the same color as your hair, only more reddish. That’s why I think you’ll end up as a redhead.”
“My eyes?”
“Light amber. They’re beautiful, baby.”
“You really like me, then?”
“Do I ever!”
“Can we go to the living room?”
“Are you okay walking?”
“I think I am.”
She cautiously jumped down from the bed and paused for a moment stabilizing herself on her legs.
Not until she firmly stood on the floor was I able to grasp the whole magnitude of her size and beauty. She reached above my waist. Her body was long and strong, with firm back and sturdy legs, and more than twice her human weight. She walked with natural elegance, holding her head straight and ears erect and forward. She held her tail vertical and slightly curved toward her back. Her body, unmistakably female, revealed a dominant wolf. No doubt there.
Before I reached the door, she’d lifted herself on her back legs and grabbed the knob with her front paws. She opened the door on the first try and headed toward the living room.
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