With his pockets now empty, his newly purchased baskets heavily laden, and a veritable army of overloaded traders behind him, Harry made his way back to the Rectory. As he walked, he was very aware of the almost desperate need to get back to Tilly. Not Suzanna and Zack, but Tilly. He tried to tell himself that his interest in her was just professional responsibility because she was now part of his investigation, but he knew that wasn’t the case at all.
He was positive that the connection he felt with her had absolutely nothing to do with his work, or her situation. The strong emotion that had passed between them earlier was nothing short of awareness; a deep, sensual awareness that only usually existed between a man and a woman who needed, and wanted, to be together.
“Stand back,” he warned Tilly, as he made his way to the back door. Her smile of welcome was so wide that when she answered the door, he found himself smiling back somewhat dazedly as he slid his burden onto the table, and stood back to instruct the rest of the traders where to leave their goods.
“I think I may have gotten a little carried away,” he declared ruefully, when an assortment of baskets, boxes, and bags appeared on the newly scrubbed kitchen floor.
“Good Lord, what have you done?” Harry stared around him in stunned disbelief as he absorbed the shock transformation of his now pristine kitchen.
A sink full of freshly washed pots sat drying on the small table, seated on a newly scrubbed floor. The freshly washed kitchen table sat complete with new table cloth and a small arrangement of flowers arranged haphazardly a badly chipped jug. Everywhere smelled of soap and lemon, and now, thanks to his shopping, pies and freshly baked bread.
The combination was heavenly and made him smile even more because, for the first time since he had arrived, the house started to feel like home.
“Let’s find something to eat, shall we?” He suggested gently when Zack had sidled closer to the boxes to take a sniff, and inspect the contents.
They all worked together to put all of the purchases onto the table, before they then found spaces for them on the freshly washed shelves, and in the pantry. Only the pies, bread, milk and butter remained in the middle of the table, along with a joint of ham, and a large slab of cooked beef, an assortment of pickles, as well as three cheeses and two large fruit cakes.
Tilly collected freshly washed plates and cutlery, and took a seat while Harry served everyone generous portions of everything.
“Thank you for that, it was very kind of you,” Tilly sighed as, stomach full, she sat back to sip her wine. She studied the rest of the food still on the table in amazement. Even with the men from the Star Elite in residence, they could eat like kings all week and never touch even half of what Harry had purchased.
“Thank you for sorting the kitchens out,” Harry replied quietly. The appreciation his gaze as he studied her made her want to fidget, and she smiled at him somewhat awkwardly while she tried to think of something to say.
Harry watched a pink stain flood her cheeks, and realised that she was not used to being praised or thanked for her work. He made a mental note to do so as often as possible, as long as she smiled at him like that again.
How long they sat there staring at each other, heaven only knew. It was only when Zack shifted in his seat that Harry realised what he was doing, and reluctantly turned his attention to the young boy.
“Are you better now that you have eaten properly?”
Zack nodded enthusiastically. “Much better, thank you,” he mumbled around a mouthful of ham. “I have never had food like this before. I love it.”
Tilly looked at Suzanna. “Why don’t we go and take a look at those bedrooms now. If we just shake out the sheets for now and refresh the water, we can polish and scrub everywhere down in the morning.”
Harry frowned at that. “I don’t expect you to spend your days cleaning. You are a guest here, Tilly. All three of you are.”
“I know,” Tilly replied quickly. She hoped that he didn’t think she was using the opportunity of being in the house to get the housekeeper’s job. “I don’t mind, really I don’t. It is just that I cannot repay you for your hospitality, and seems the least I can do given everything you have done for me – well, us.”
She glanced hesitantly at Suzanna and Zack, who both nodded enthusiastically.
“We are used to working, and cannot sit around here all day doing nothing,” Zack piped up. “I can help,” he added with a nod, and eyed an apple thoughtfully for several moments before he looked askance at Harry.
Harry nodded and sighed. “I want you to have whatever you want to eat, whenever you want while you are here. You don’t need to wait until we are all here, if you are hungry.”
He sensed that Tilly was about to argue with him, and knew he needed to explain.
“My colleagues will keep strange hours because they will work in shifts throughout the night. They will eat before they go, or when they get back, so we need to keep food available for them at all times. Let me know when we run out of something and I will arrange for more to be delivered.”
“Let me bake what we need,” Suzanna demanded, only to look sheepishly at both Harry and Tilly. “I love to cook but I rarely get the chance to, especially since I left home.” She shrugged. “I don’t mind. I want to. Tilly and Zack can sort out the house, and I can do the cleaning in here and all of the cooking. I can also draw up a list of the things we need so we don’t run out of anything. I can write now, you know,” she added proudly. “One of the women I shared a room with showed me how.”
Tilly’s heart wept for her friend’s simple statement and was momentarily lost for words. She had never stopped to think about the many hours her mother had spent teaching her letters and numbers. It was just something she took for granted, and never really thought just how important being able to read and write was to one’s survival before. It was strangely humbling.
“I am happy with that, if you are?” Tilly said, and lifted her brows at Harry, who nodded.
“If I am honest, I wouldn’t have any clue where to start,” he admitted somewhat sheepishly, and shared a grin with Zack, who merely dug into his apple with renewed gusto.
“That’s settled then,” Tilly declared firmly as she collected everyone’s plates.
She was relieved that the next few days were sorted out, and quickly blocked out all thought of the future in the longer term. It was nice to have the distraction of washing the pots and tidying up so that she didn’t have to think too much about anything right now. So much was happening that she wasn’t sure what to make of any of it.
“Have any of you taken a look at the Housekeeper’s rooms yet? What kind of state are they in?” Harry asked as he made his way to the bedroom and sitting room the Dandridges’ had used.
Tilly looked at Suzanna.
“They are a mess,” Zack declared flatly. “They have pulled up the floorboards and everything.”
Sure enough, when Harry opened the door and studied the mess that was the Dandridges’ living accommodation, nothing short of absolute destruction met his stunned gaze.
“Now, why would they do that?” he murmured softly and stared at the dislodged floorboards, and upturned mattress that now sat in the middle of the floor.
He was still thinking about how the house had been transformed later that night as he lay staring at the canopy over his bed. The clock on the mantle chimed midnight, but he still couldn’t sleep, in spite of the weariness that drew him down.
He couldn’t get over the shocking transformation his three new guests had managed to perform in the brief time they had been in residence. The sight of Barnaby’s face when he had seen the changes Tilly, Suzanna and Zack had managed had been priceless, and still made him smile even several hours later.
However, it was the look of tearful relief on Tilly’s face when she had seen her belongings that humbled Harry the most. Her possessions could have fitted into one of the legs of his breeches, they were so sparse. He was fairly certain that t
hey had absolutely no financial value whatsoever. However, they clearly meant the world to Tilly, who had struggled not to cry as she had thanked Barnaby prettily for his returning them to her.
Zack and Suzanna had also been too grateful for words, and had merely nodded their thanks before they had taken their precious belongings to their respective rooms with a reverence that had left Barnaby and Harry speechless.
Harry yawned, and was contemplating whether to go downstairs for a brandy when the creek of a door downstairs drew his attention. At first he thought it was Dandridge, but then realised that the man was no longer in the house.
He glanced at the clock with a scowl. First watch weren’t due back for another four hours at least. So who the hell was creeping around at this time of night?
He threw back the covers and climbed silently out of bed. After stopping long enough to don his beeches and collect his gun, he tip-toed to the door and quietly made his way downstairs. The soft glow of candle light beneath the door warned him that someone was in his kitchen. Had Dandridge returned to pull up the last of the floorboards?
“Zack, what are you doing up?” he growled huskily as he lowered his gun.
“I j-just wanted a drink,” the boy replied, terrified at the sight of the gun in Harry’s hand.
“Sorry. It is just that we are in the middle of an investigation and we are all on edge, that’s all,” Harry assured him with a smile.
He watched Zack glance awkwardly toward the pantry, and became aware of the soft rustle of something within the small square space. The quick glance he threw Zack warned him that it was either Tilly or Suzanna.
Thankfully, it was Tilly.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” she gasped, and threw Zack a worried look. “Zack was hungry, so I thought a piece of bread might help him.” She lifted the plate to show Harry what she had been doing in the food cupboard.
“It’s alright. I just heard noises down here, that’s all. Help yourself whenever you want to. Don’t mind me,” Harry murmured gently.
He saw her gaze wander to the gun in his hand, but he had nowhere he could put it without tucking it into his breeches, and he didn’t want her to look there because then she would know just how interested in her he really was.
Tilly’s stomach flipped as she eyed the broad width of his hair smattered chest, and shivered as a fresh wave of awareness swept through her. Luckily, she had fallen asleep on her bed still fully dressed, but was acutely aware of his semi-clothed state, which seemed to add to the strangely intimate atmosphere that now hung over the kitchen.
She handed Zack the plate absently, and nodded when he thanked her and hurried out of the door without a backward look.
“He is a growing boy,” Tilly murmured quietly, and took a moment to steady herself when she turned to close the pantry door behind her. “What do you want us to do about the housekeeper’s quarters? It is a complete mess.”
Harry knew that there was nothing inside the rooms of any consequence now. It had been stripped by the Dandridges’ before they had left. He rather suspected that the things that had gone missing around the house, the incriminating evidence, now languished in their temporary lodgings in town.
“I think that I will put the floor back down tomorrow morning when I come off my turn on watch. Then we can rearrange the room, and put it back to the way it was. After that, I think it is best if we undertake an inventory of all of the house contents. I need a complete list of what has been stolen so Joshua and Joseph know what to look for. They are going to look around the pawn brokers in town to see what they can find.”
“Joseph and Joshua?” Tilly asked with a frown. So far she had known someone called Barnaby, seen the dark haired man called Marcus knew Harry, of course. But she had never heard Harry mention a Joseph before.
“He was one of the men keeping watch over the wardens yesterday. He let us out of the building.”
His gaze locked onto hers, and silence settled between them for several long moments.
“I-I’ll head off to bed now then,” she whispered in a voice that trembled with the force of the emotions that swept through her. She didn’t know what to say to him, or how to react given that she had never been alone with a half-naked male before. It took a lot of effort to keep her gaze off the muscles clearly visible beneath the broad expanse of tanned flesh.
She glanced around absently, then realised that she should be on her way to the door.
“Tilly,” Harry growled, and caught her arm in a gentle hold as she passed him. “I really do want you to make this house your home while you are here,” he assured her.
“I can’t do that, but thank you anyway,” she replied quietly.
Harry frowned at her. “Why not?” He couldn’t understand her logic and waited, not so patiently, for her to reply.
“Because at some point, when your investigation is over, I will have to move on,” she replied simply, although tempered her blunt statement with a soft smile.
“Where to though, Tilly? I mean, you have no relatives, and nowhere to go.”
Tilly felt a little impatient. She knew her situation; she didn’t need him to point it out to her. She struggled to find a way to respond without offending him because she wasn’t ready to answer his questions. If she was honest, she didn’t have any answers for herself, let alone him.
“I know. I will just have to pick somewhere to go, I suppose. I think that I might use the coins I have left to buy a broadsheet, and see what I can do about finding a job while I am here. I will at least then have somewhere to move on to when you leave for your next investigation.”
Harry wanted to deny that he needed to move on, but he couldn’t. It would be wrong to offer her false assurances, and she was right really. She would have to move on when the investigation was over. She just didn’t need to know of his intention to take her with him to Cumbria.
“Good night,” she said softly, and made her way to the door.
“Wait. Tilly,” Harry growled. He moved to stand beside her in the doorway, and lowered his voice to an intimate whisper. “Don’t make any plans to do anything right now. Please?”
“I need to find work, Harry,” she replied equally quietly.
“Just promise me that you will wait for a few days more. Once this investigation is over, then I will tell you everything. Right now, I just can’t tell you too much.”
Tilly wanted to say yes, she really did, but she desperately needed some degree of security in her life; even if that security came in the form of a definite job in a real house.
“I can’t live my life in limbo,” she told him solemnly. “If this investigation ends tomorrow, I am hardly likely to be allowed to stay here for several weeks until I can find a job.”
He sighed impatiently. She looked so lost and forlorn that he felt certain sure that she was going to cry at any moment.
“Come here,” he growled. He drew her into his protective embrace, and settled her against his chest with a contented sigh.
Tilly couldn’t deny herself this one brief foray into self-indulgence. If she was honest, she wanted to know what it felt like to be held by this man. With the clouds of insecurity hanging over her, she desperately needed someone to lean on.
The heavy beat of his heart sounded loud in her ears as she rested her head against his chest and felt his arms slide around her waist to draw her closer still, but she couldn’t deny either of them this one very special moment.
“I can’t tell you too much about the investigation, Tilly,” he murmured from somewhere above her head. “If I could, I would. I just promise you that I made a colossal error when I allowed you to leave here the other week. I feel responsible for what happened to you, and I intend to correct that.”
She leaned back and looked up at him in astonishment. “It isn’t your fault. You can hardly be to blame for my circumstances.”
“I know,” he declared softly. “But I should have offered you a bed here until you decided wher
e you would prefer to live. I should have done something more to help you. It is just that my hands were tied, you see? Because I was working on this investigation alone, I just couldn’t have you in the house. I needed to be able to focus on the Dandridges’, and couldn’t protect you at the same time. Thankfully, Barnaby arrived, but just a few minutes too late for me to stop you from leaving. I tried to come after you, but you had already gone.”
Tilly nodded and fought back the bitter disappointment that swept through her. She realised then that he had rescued her because he felt guilty. While she was still relieved that he had come after her, she couldn’t help but feel a little deflated that it had been guilt that had driven him, rather than a need to see her again.
Still, she couldn’t lose sight of the fact that she was a servant. He was an incredibly handsome man who had the world at his feet. What did she expect? That he adored her so much at first sight that he couldn’t bear to be parted from her?
Yes! A tiny voice deep inside her screamed, but she quickly ignored it, and turned her attention back to the man who was quite intimately pressed against her.
“There was nothing more you could have done,” she whispered sadly. “Even if you had offered me a room, I wouldn’t have taken it.” She leaned back to smile up at him. “It wouldn’t be right or proper.”
He smiled because he knew she was referring to their present situation that was anything but right and proper, but made no attempt to release her. Eventually, her head lowered back to his shoulder and they lapsed into comfortable silence.
At that moment, she didn’t care why he had come after her. He was there, and she wanted to savour every moment she had with him so that she could take her memories with her when she left.
Shattered Dreams Page 14