by Drew Hunt
“No thanks, but if you could bring in another glass of water and a straw when you’ve had your bath? I might need a drink in the night.”
“No problem.”
I pulled the quilt up to his chin then kissed his forehead. “Back soon.”
I don’t know why, but I seem to do most of my thinking while lying in the bath. A bit like Archimedes, I guess. Though I make no claims to be as intelligent as he was. I allowed the hot water to soothe me as I reviewed the day’s events, and what a day it had been. First I’d had the worry about not seeing Mark for a few days, then I’d been told he’d been hurt, but hadn’t known the details. Then I’d found him, and the relief that he would get well again had been tremendous. I’d learned he would need a lot of TLC, which I was determined to provide. Then I thought about washing him here in this bath.
Oh, God, he’s so perfect.
I couldn’t believe how lucky I was that I’d been given the chance to care for him in such a personal way, and I’d be able to do so for the next few weeks, too.
Lathering up the sponge, I washed my arms.
I desperately hoped the close relationship with Mark wouldn’t end when he got well again. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t go back on the streets. From what little he’d told me, it wasn’t pleasant. I hoped once he found a job, he wouldn’t want to move out. How would I persuade him to stay? I was certain I couldn’t tell him of my feelings. As Mark hadn’t said how he felt about me…romantically, he might feel trapped, or obligated to love me if I said anything. That would be horrible.
I scrubbed at my thin chest, then rinsed.
I wanted, no, needed his love, but it would have to come from his heart, not out of a sense of obligation. No, I couldn’t tell him how I felt. But by God I could and would show him! Actions speak louder than words.
I’d have to be careful to give Mark his space, not smother him. I would be there for him, to help him, to support him. I would demonstrate my love for him in any way I could. This—I realised—was probably the best chance I’d ever get in life to be loved. Mark wouldn’t just be judging my book by its cover. Hopefully he was seeing the kind of person I really was inside.
I got out of the bath and dried myself, then brushed my teeth. I’d forgotten to brush Mark’s. I’d tell him when I got into the bedroom. I’d worried at the hospital that I only had the one bedroom. I didn’t confess this to the staff, but Mark and I had been left alone for a few moments during the discharge process, and I’d asked Mark if he would object to sharing a bed with me. I’d said it wouldn’t bother me, but if he felt more comfortable, I’d go out and get a camp bed, and we’d take turns using it.
He’d told me I worried too much. “Of course I don’t mind sharing. It’d be nice to sleep in a bed with someone who really cared about me.”
So that little problem had been solved.
I walked out of the bathroom and, remembering Mark’s request for water, went downstairs. Coming back upstairs, I went into the bedroom to remind him about brushing his teeth. Fortunately I’d recently bought a new toothbrush that was still in its package. However, when I entered the bedroom I saw he’d already fallen asleep. He looked so peaceful, lying there on his left side. All the horrors which he must have faced recently were forgotten for a brief time. No, I wouldn’t wake him. He needed his rest.
I got into bed behind him and spooned up against him. I put my right arm between his chest and his right arm. I’d never been fortunate enough before to sleep with another man. I hadn’t expected I’d ever be given such a privilege. I wondered if I’d be too keyed up to sleep. But I needn’t have worried. I soon drifted off into the best night’s sleep I’d had in ages.
Chapter 5
Saturday morning dawned bright, but cold. We both got out of bed and started our morning routines.
“Do you need the toilet?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he grinned. “I need to do a number two.”
I laughed.
“Okay then, to the bathroom with you.”
When we got there, I pulled down Mark’s underpants. I tried not to look at what was revealed, but couldn’t help myself. Mark sat.
“Do you want me to leave the room while you do your business? I know some guys are shy about stuff like this.”
“No, it’s okay, it’s just a bit embarrassing.”
“Sorry.” I touched his shoulder. “Try not to let it bother you. I know it’s odd, but it’ll be okay.”
After Mark had moved his bowels, I asked him to lean foreword a bit so I could gain access to his rear, and do the necessary cleaning up.
“You know this isn’t the first bum I’ve had to wipe.”
“Oh?”
“I was in hospital a few years ago with a burst appendix. They didn’t have any beds free in the main ward, so I had to stay in the children’s ward. There was a cute little five-year-old boy in for a busted elbow or something. His parents hadn’t taught him what to do after using the toilet, so he would shout, ‘I’VE DONE! I’VE DONE!’ from the cubicle. Nine times out of ten there wasn’t a nurse within hearing range, so muggins here, who had the bed nearest the bathroom, had to go in and wipe it for him.”
Mark smiled. I asked him to stand and I pulled up his underpants.
“And besides, your bum is a lot cuter than his.” I patted said bum.
Mark laughed, which pleased me. I’d managed to make light of what could have been a potentially awkward situation.
After I’d washed Mark and brushed his teeth, he sat back on the closed lid of the toilet while I did the same for myself.
* * * *
I was glad to hear that Mark was hungry, so I decided to cook a full English breakfast. I poured some fresh orange juice into a glass with the now customary straws and put a large plateful of fried food on the table between us. We used the same feeding routine as the previous evening, and although eating took longer than if Mark could have fed himself, we did okay.
We had a fair bit to do that morning, so I got ourselves ready to go out. Mark said he’d better use the toilet again before we left, so we trooped upstairs to take care of it. I didn’t think I’d ever get tired of handling his equipment.
After that task was accomplished I made Mark sit on the closed toilet lid while I brushed his hair. Mark’s black hair was fine, soft, and naturally curly. I took a little longer than was strictly necessary. I don’t think Mark minded.
Once I’d finished I gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. “There, you’re done.”
“Thanks.” He smiled up at me.
“To stop you feeling as though you’re just tagging along, I’m going to make you wear my rucksack. You might as well be of use while I’ve got you.” I grinned to let him know I was kidding.
He chuckled.
We descended the stairs. I put on our coats, got out the bag for Mark and fitted it on his back, making sure the straps weren’t too tight.
After closing and locking the door, we walked towards the town centre. I explained what I thought was the best plan of attack.
“I’ll need to go into the library and arrange some time off.”
“Sorry I’m being such a burden.”
I shook my head. “I’ve plenty of leave owing and I’ve got to use it up by the end of April, otherwise I’ll lose it. I didn’t take a holiday this summer so I think I’ve got almost three weeks saved up.” I didn’t tell Mark the reason I didn’t take a holiday was because I hated having to go alone. “So if I take two weeks worth of leave, plus the bank holidays, you should be well on your way to being able to potter around the house by yourself by the time I’ll have to go back. If you’re not, I can always use the rest of the leave, or you could come into the library for half a day or so. I’m sure I’d be able to find you something to do.”
“You’re being very kind.”
“Rubbish, it really is nice having someone around the place.” I didn’t add that I hated being alone at Christmas. I guess I could have gone down to Birmingham t
o see my parents, but they often worked through some of the holiday, and it really wasn’t worth the hassle with the trains.
“After the library, I thought we’d go down to the DHSS and get some forms, so you could start getting unemployment benefit.”
“Okay.”
“Then I’m taking you clothes shopping.” I could tell Mark was about to object, so I cut in, “Now, Mark, please, we’ve discussed this.”
He looked at me and sighed. “I don’t have much of a choice, do I? Doesn’t mean I like it.”
“It’ll be okay.” I gave him what I hoped was an encouraging smile.
* * * *
Although the library opened Saturday mornings, I only had to cover alternate weekends. I’d just finished making all the arrangements in the main office regarding my leave request when Mary walked in.
“I’d have thought you’d have seen enough of this place without coming in on your half day off.”
“Mary.” I gave her a smile. “Something’s cropped up and I’m taking some time off. You’ll be on your own for the next couple of weeks. I’m sorry.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, this is Mark,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder.
“Please to meet you.” Mark started to hold out his hand to shake, then must have realised he couldn’t.
“Mark’s hurt his hands. He’s agreed to move in with me until they heal.”
She raised her eyebrows slightly. She knew! “Oh, dear, how did you manage to do that?”
“Some people I knew decided to play around with chemicals, and things got out of control. Some of the stuff got on my skin.”
“You poor thing. I hope this reprobate is taking good care of you,” she said, pointing an accusing finger at me.
“He’s been a godsend,” Mark said, wrapping an arm around me.
I was so happy at his gesture, I couldn’t get the silly grin off my face. Of course Mary spotted it.
“Shouldn’t you be getting back to the department?” I asked her.
She stuck her tongue out at me as she passed us. Mark laughed, but I was used to her.
When she’d gone, Mark said, “She’s a scream.”
“Yeah, she is. She’s got a heart of gold, though.”
We left the library and walked to the government offices for the unemployment forms. Then we shopped till we dropped. I encouraged Mark to choose everything from a baseball cap, which brought out the colour in his eyes, to a stout pair of shoes. He complained about how much it was costing.
“You need these clothes, so you’re having them,” I said with determination.
We stopped off at the surgery and got Mark registered with a doctor. Mark came from Newcastle originally; when his father kicked him out Mark simply bought a bus ticket to the furthest place he could afford. Although it was very selfish of me to think it, I was bloody glad he didn’t have any more money than he had, otherwise our paths would never have crossed. Fortunately my doctor had some spare places on her list, so I was able to get him registered with her. She was a really kind lady who didn’t judge. I knew Mark would be well looked after by her. We arranged for Mark to come in early the next week to have his bandages changed by the nurse.
So with everything done that could be done, we headed home.
“Phew, I’m glad that’s done!” Mark said as he collapsed on the sofa after I’d taken the rucksack from him.
“Are you tired?” I asked with concern.
“No, not exactly. My hands are starting to hurt though. I don’t know if it’s because it was cold out there.”
“Why didn’t you say something? I took your pills with us.” I pulled the bottle from my pocket and showed him.
“Sorry, I didn’t know you’d brought them.”
“I’ll get you some water, and you can take a couple now.”
“Thanks.
“Do you want to lie down here for a bit while I get us a bite of lunch?” I asked Mark once he’d taken his tablets.
“Would you mind? These pills make me a bit sleepy sometimes.”
“Of course not,” I said, ruffling his hair. “I’ll take off your shoes and you can get more comfy.”
He gave me a kiss.
“Shall I light the fire?”
“That’d be smashing, thanks.”
I hadn’t set the fire that morning. I’d wanted to get on with the shopping. So I spent a few minutes cleaning out the grate and re-setting everything. Some people make setting the fire a real art form. I can honestly say I’m not that anal. So long as the newspaper, small sticks, and the coal are put on in the right order, I don’t see the need to make a performance out of it.
The fire having taken hold, I went into the kitchen, washed my hands, and prepared a few sandwiches.
On my return to the living room, I spied Mark gazing into the flames.
“Penny for them.”
This seemed to rouse Mark from his thoughts. “I love looking into a real fire. I imagine all kinds of shapes and stuff. It’s hypnotic.”
I smiled. “Some people say having an open fire is too much work. But I think it really makes a room look and feel cosy.”
“Uh huh.” Mark continued to stare into the fire.
I got out a TV dinner table and put the plate of sandwiches and snacks on it. Then I took Mark’s glass, went back into the kitchen and refilled it, and got another glass for myself. Returning to the living room, I sat next to Mark and began to feed him.
After we’d finished eating, I lay across the back of the couch and Mark spooned back into me. I pushed one arm under him, and draped the other one over his chest.
“Happy?” I asked.
“Love being here…you holding me.” He grew silent for a few minutes. I thought he’d dropped off, but he spoke again. “I used to stand on Gamble Street hoping that day would be the day I’d see you.”
I kissed the top of his head.
“Sometimes it got pretty bad out there. One day I’ll tell you more about it. I know I’ve told you a few things, but I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”
I squeezed him and kissed the top of his head again.
“I felt safe, warm, and cared for when I was here. I always wanted to stay longer, but I knew I had to go and earn more money.”
“You’re staying now. I’m not letting you go.” I hoped Mark didn’t read the true meaning in my words. I’d have to be more careful in future.
Mark snuggled in closer and fell asleep.
We both jumped at the sound of the ringing phone. I extricated myself from Mark to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Simon.”
“Hi, Mary. What can I do for you?”
“I wondered if you two wanted to go out this evening for a drink. As you know, Jerry is in the Middle East on his history field trip and I was at a bit of a loose end. I thought you might want to paint the town red.”
“I’m not sure about red, it isn’t really my colour.”
“Daft sod!”
“Hang on, I’ll ask Mark.” I put my hand over the receiver and said, “Mary wondered if we’d like to go out for a drink tonight. I know it’d be a bit awkward to go out for a meal, but do you fancy an hour or two down the pub?”
“Yeah, it’d be nice to get out and relax for a bit.” He paused. “I’ve no money though.”
“That’s okay, don’t worry about it. Do you want to go?”
“Love to, thanks.”
I raised the receiver to my ear. “We’ll meet you at the White Swan, say about eight?”
“Great! I’ll see you both there then. Love to Mark.”
“Okay, bye-bye.”
I replaced the phone back in its cradle and returned to the sofa. “Mary sends her love,” I told Mark as I sat down and pulled him against me.
“Does she, erm, know about, I mean does she know how we met?”
I decided I’d always be honest with Mark, unless the information would unnecessarily cause him pain. I reached up and, cu
pping Mark’s chin, turned his head to face me. Kissing him, I said, “Yes she knows what you used to do for a living. But as you’ve seen for yourself, she’s a good person. I promise she’s fine about it all. If you ever need to talk to someone, and you’re not comfortable about telling me, then think about talking to Mary. Although she might look the gossipy type, she’s the most loyal friend I’ve ever known.”
He hugged me.
“Mary will make a play of trying to get the dirt on you, but it’ll all be in fun. She wouldn’t hurt anyone. She might get a bit protective over me, but it won’t be long before she takes you under her wing, too.”
“She sounds like a really good friend.”
“The best,” I said. “She’s got a boyfriend, but he’s on some kind of university field trip and won’t be back until the New Year.”
I chuckled as I related to Mark how Mary and Jerry met. Mark laughed at the comic scene I painted.
We spent the rest of the afternoon lounging about, listening to music, talking, and generally enjoying each other’s company. About six we decided to make a start on dinner.
“Want anything in particular?”
He shrugged. “Whatever you feel like cooking is fine by me.”
I looked in the kitchen cupboards, the fridge, and freezer. “How about a tin of chunky vegetable soup to start, then liver and onions? I want to build you up so you’re nice and strong.”
Mark gave me a hug. “Thanks, you’re being really kind.”
“You haven’t had a very good diet recently. I just want to redress the balance,” I deflected.
He gave me a kiss on the lips. It was wonderful. I tried not to read too much into the gesture, but it wasn’t easy.
I sat Mark down on his now customary stool and got on with preparing our meal. Conversation was light and pleasant. I revelled in the cosy domesticity. I just hoped and prayed—not something I did often enough—that this, this whatever it was I had with Mark, would grow and strengthen with time. I got a bit worked up and a few stray tears began to fall. However, I was able to cover up my problem because I was slicing onions at the time.
Once we’d eaten, I asked Mark if he wanted a bath before we went out.
“Please, I wasn’t able to bathe as much as I liked in hospital. They were short staffed, and I got embarrassed when the female nurses did it.”