She joined him at the desk. “Why? Having one would help ease some of your workload.”
He shrugged one shoulder. “It would. But I’m, uh, I’ll put it like this—I like things done my way. I’d probably butt heads with a secretary. Anyway, Dad never had one. If he could handle the job on his own, then so can I.”
She wanted to point out that he didn’t need to follow in the exact footsteps of his father just to prove his worth as a man. But that would be getting personal and she was already becoming far too entwined with him and his family. If she intended to walk away from this man with her heart intact, she needed to keep things as casual as possible. Yet nothing felt casual about the way she felt every time she looked at him.
“A secretary would free part of your time for other things,” she suggested.
He eased off the corner of the desk. “Could be,” he said wryly.
Now that he was standing, his arm was very nearly touching hers, while an earthy-smelling cologne emanated from his shirt and swirled around her senses. The urge to wrap her arms around his waist and feel the hard warmth of his body next to hers was so strong she had to fight to keep her hands at her sides.
“Do you ever go out with the ranch hands and do cowboy things? Like roping and branding?”
“I do. Especially when I want to get a close-up look at the herds. And when we have roundups, I want to be there to help and oversee things.”
“You have a foreman for that, don’t you?”
“Matthew Waggoner. Great guy and I’d trust him with my life. But he can’t be everywhere at once. When you’re dealing with several thousand head of cattle, you need all the help you can get.”
“Matthew Waggoner,” she repeated thoughtfully. “I don’t recall his name. He must have come here after we moved to California.”
Blake nodded. “He’s been with us about nine years. He was married when Dad first hired him as a wrangler on the horse division. But after living in Phoenix for most of her life, his wife wasn’t very content with ranch life. After about two years, she got a divorce and lit out.”
His brown eyes were fixed on hers and she got the impression he was waiting to see her reaction.
“That’s unfortunate.”
He moved a step closer, and as his hands settled over her shoulders, Katherine realized she was already in trouble. Her heart was pounding and all she could think about was having his lips on hers, his arms crushing her against his hard body.
“Not very many women are cut out for this sort of life.”
Even though his words were spoken in a soft voice, they still held a cutting edge. Katherine wondered why any of it should matter to her. She wasn’t interested in living here on Three Rivers with this man. At least, that was what she’d been telling herself. Yet right now, with his warm hands on her shoulders and his face only inches away, she wanted him with a longing that took her breath away.
“Is that why you’ve stayed single all these years?” she asked. “Because you think you’d end up like Matthew Waggoner?”
“Matt’s failed marriage isn’t the reason I’m still single. Neither is my sister’s divorce. I’ve just not found the right woman. Yet. But I think I’m...getting awfully close to finding her.”
His face dipped toward hers, until all she could see was his hard lips and the faint dent in the middle of his chin.
“Blake. This is—”
“Delicious.”
She barely had time to suck in a deep breath before his lips settled over hers. The slow, searching kiss warmed her blood and spun her senses into a swirl of sweet oblivion. Drawn to the magic he was creating, she stood on her tiptoes and circled her arms around his neck.
In response, his arms wrapped around her and then suddenly the front of her body was crushed against his. Groaning, she shifted in an effort to fit herself more perfectly to the contours of his body. At the same time, his tongue delved deep into her mouth and demanded more than just the mating of their lips.
And like the reckless moments they’d shared at the Yarnell lookout, he was soon kissing her over and over until every ounce of breath was gone from her lungs and the strength in her knees threatened to give way.
Just as she felt herself wilting against him, he lifted his head just enough to slide his lips over her cheek in a slow, sweet circle. Goose bumps erupted on her arms and marched down her spine. She dug her fingers into the back of his neck and willed herself not to wilt in a helpless puddle at his feet.
“Wait here,” he whispered.
He walked over to the floor lamp and switched it off, causing the room to fill with soft shadows. By the time he returned to her side, her heart was pounding madly and a voice in the back of her mind was screaming at her to turn and run from the office as fast as she could. But the words of warning couldn’t begin to compete with the need to have this man touching her, loving her.
All too willing, she allowed him to take her by the hand and lead her over to the couch. Together, they sank onto the middle cushion, where he promptly gathered her into the tight circle of his arms.
“I’ve thought about this all week long, Kat. I think I’ve counted each minute—until I could hold you, taste your lips.” To underscore his words, he fastened his lips over hers in another long, dizzying kiss.
Letting her mind go blank, Katherine clung to him, until finally he eased back his head and cupped her cheeks with the palms of his hands. The tender touch caused a lump in her throat and turned her voice to a husky whisper.
“Something happens to me, Blake, whenever I’m near you. I think I go a little...crazy.” She smoothed her hands over the slopes of his shoulders, then pushed her fingers up the back of his neck until they were meshed in his dark hair. “You asked me to have dinner with you and your family tonight. Not to have a necking session. But I...”
Her words trailed away on a shaky sigh as his lips began to track a hot, wet trail down the side of her neck.
“You want me as much as I want you,” he murmured.
The movement of his lips as he spoke against her skin was as erotic as a kiss. Pleasure shot through her and she wondered how he could make her feel this much. Want this much.
Sighing, she whispered, “Yes. I do.”
With a triumphant groan, he tilted her head back and nuzzled the tender spot beneath her chin. “That’s all that matters. That we want each other. The rest will come—I know it will.”
The rest? What was he talking about? She started to ask, but he chose that moment to dip his head to where the neckline of her blouse parted near the shallow indention between her breasts.
To have his mouth touching her in such an intimate spot shot liquid fire through her veins. The sensation erased her resistance and turned her into a willing puppet. She hardly noticed as he eased the both of them down on the leather cushions and began to unbutton her blouse. When he finally pushed the pieces of fabric aside and his hands cupped around both breasts, she was suddenly flooded with a need so intense she could scarcely breathe, much less think.
It wasn’t until he lowered his head and fastened his mouth over one lace-covered nipple that a cool burst of sanity managed to pierce her thoughts.
What was she doing? She couldn’t make love to Blake! Not here. Not now. Maybe never.
With a whimper of frustration, she anchored her hands alongside his face and lifted his head away from her.
Dazed by the sudden interruption, he frowned down at her. “Kat—what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”
“No. I... Oh, please, Blake, let me up.”
He instantly moved away from her and Katherine snatched the pieces of her blouse back over her breasts and scrambled to a sitting position. Unable to look at him, she gulped in deep breaths of air.
“I’m confused,” he said, his voice gruff with desire. “You just told me how much you wanted me. Was that just a
lie? A way to tease me?”
Feeling miserable and stupid at the same time, she forced herself to meet his gaze, then immediately felt worse. There was a wounded look in his brown eyes and she could tell the pain had nothing to do with manly ego. No, her rejection had clearly hurt something deep and the notion shook her. He wasn’t supposed to care that much. Or want her that much.
“I’m sorry, Blake. I do want you. And I wasn’t trying to lead you on. But I can’t—I have to think sensibly about this. We can’t just make love as though we have a right to!”
His expression incredulous, he stared at her. “Why can’t we? We’re both grown, unattached adults.”
He made it sound so simple. As though giving in to their physical desire would be as natural and right as breathing. And maybe for most people it was those things, Katherine thought. But not for her. All she could think about was the misery she’d gone through with Cliff. The guilt and senseless loss she’d felt when he’d crashed his car. She couldn’t give all of herself to another man without knowing his feelings for her were deep enough to last a lifetime.
She swallowed and fought to compose herself. “Because I have more than myself to think about. I have a responsibility to Nick.”
The frown on his face deepened. “What does making love to me have to do with your son? You’ll always be his mother and a damn good one as far as I can tell. But you’re more than a mother, Kat. You’re a woman. Why don’t you want to let yourself be one?”
He was making too much sense to suit her and she quickly jumped to her feet and walked over to the windows. With her back to him, she gazed through the partially opened blinds while her fingers fumbled with the buttons on her blouse.
“After Cliff died, I told myself if I ever got involved with another man I was going to do things differently. I was going to be smarter and take each step slowly and wisely.” She looked over her shoulder at him. “So far there’s been nothing slow happening between us. And that’s just as much my fault as it is yours. But it’s...too much, too soon.”
She didn’t realize he’d left the couch until he was standing directly behind her and his hands gently curled around her upper arms. “Okay, so we got a little carried away a minute ago. But you’re making far too much of it. I’m not asking or expecting you to have sex with me here in this office...tonight! If, or when, that ever happens, it will be somewhere more private than this. And it won’t happen unless you’re ready.”
No doubt he was thinking she was behaving like an inexperienced teenager, rather than a mature woman. The idea caused tears to sting her eyes and she bit down on her lower lip in an effort to stem them.
“Oh, Blake. I’m sorry. I think—” Drawing in a steadying breath, she turned and rested her palms against his broad chest. “You should forget about me. I’m only going to make you miserable. And that’s not what I want. You deserve to be with a woman who’s not afraid to give you what you want. One who will make you happy.”
A lopsided grin twisted his lips. “I deserve to be with the woman I want. That’s what will make me happy.”
Her head swung back and forth. “Can’t you see, Blake? I’m not the person you think I am. I’m flawed. I’m—”
“Shh. Don’t say that.” He gently cradled her face between his strong hands. “You’re beautiful and kind and strong. You’re the woman I want. Just give me a chance to prove it. That’s all I’m asking.”
“But you don’t know about my marriage and everything that—”
He softly touched a forefinger against her lips. “You’ve told me enough. And that’s in the past. Besides, do you think my life has been perfect up until now? Not hardly. But I’d like to think the two of us can start again—together.”
Start again. So many times these past years, she’d wished that she could start her life over. She’d dreamed about finding love and giving Nick the siblings and father he often asked for. But so far she’d been too afraid to let herself take that step. Blake was giving her a chance to reach for all that she ever wanted. It would be worse than cowardly not to give him, or herself, a chance at happiness.
With a tiny groan of surrender, she slipped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against the solid warmth of his chest. “I’d like to try, Blake.”
* * *
A long week later, Blake looked away from the spreadsheet on the monitor to the stack of papers Holt had just tossed onto the corner of his desk.
“What are those?”
Holt grinned. “Registration papers. I need you to fix them all up for me. You know, send them to the quarter-horse association. Pay the fees and that sort of thing. There should be ten or eleven there. Our mares have been busy.”
Biting back a weary sigh, Blake reached for the papers and quickly scanned over the first sheet. “You haven’t finished filling in the information. And I don’t see any name suggestions. I can’t send these in like this. The association can’t register a name unless they have choices to pick from.”
The grin on Holt’s face turned even more persuasive. “Well, damn, brother. You think I don’t know that after all these years? I thought I’d give you the honor of doing that task. You’ve always been good with names. Let’s see, eleven times three. That’s only thirty-three choices you’ll have to come up with. That’ll be a snap for you.”
Blake wanted to curse a blue streak at his brother. Instead, he fought to control the urge and leaned back in the black executive chair. “Like I have time for that? What’s wrong with you doing it? You manage the horse division. You’re familiar with these particular weanlings. Not me.”
Holt plopped into one of the armchairs and crossed his boots out in front of him. Blake didn’t miss the fact that the rowels on his brother’s spurs were a fraction away from gouging holes in the flooring.
“I am familiar with each and every one of them. And they all have different personalities,” Holt said, “but I’m not good with paperwork. Like you.”
Blake huffed out a heavy breath. “Look, Holt, I’m up to my eyeballs in paperwork already. And Matt wants me to ride out with him to look at Gila Valley. Grass is getting sparse on that range and we damn well don’t want to start haying at this time of the year. He thinks that herd might need to be moved, so I’ve got to figure out where there’s enough forage to put seven hundred head.”
“Well, why are you getting all huffy with me? I got my own problems to worry about.”
Blake pointed to the stack of registration papers. “Including those. You finish filling them out and I’ll do the rest. Not before.”
Holt’s jaw dropped. “You’re going to force me to take them to Mom for her help.”
“You’re not taking anything to Mom. She’s already working twelve-hour days. You want to keep her up until midnight?”
Holt shot straight up in the chair and glared at him. “Mom stays busy because that’s the way she wants it. Not because I’m putting a burden on her! And what the hell has come over you, anyway?”
Blake left his chair and walked over to the coffeemaker. Jazelle had made the coffee for him long before daylight. After sitting several hours on the warmer, the java had now turned into black soup, but he poured himself a cup anyway and stirred in a heaping spoonful of sugar.
“Nothing has come over me. Except that I’m getting damn tired of doing your job. I have a life, too, you know,” he muttered.
Every day this week, Blake had been trying to find enough time to drive into Wickenburg and meet Katherine for lunch, but so far he’d managed to have only a short phone conversation with her. Tomorrow was Saturday and he’d promised to take her and Nick and Hannah to Lake Pleasant for a picnic outing. But even that would have to be postponed if he didn’t catch up with the most pressing issues on his desk.
Holt shoved back the brim of his hat and stared at him. “Well, excuse me. Maybe you’d like to change jobs with me for a fe
w days. It might be good for you to eat a little dust and get kicked in the ribs. Now that I think about it, saddling twenty or thirty colts a day would be good for those puny arms of yours.”
Blake strode back to his desk. “Keep it up, Holt, and I’ll be more than glad to show you what I can do with these puny arms. And as far as changing jobs, you’d do well to last one day cooped up in this office.”
Holt’s stare turned into a glare. Then with a resigned shake of his head, he began to chuckle. “Sorry, Blake. You’re right, as usual.”
Blake wearily thrust a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to be right. I want to be happy.”
Frowning again, Holt rose from the chair and walked over to Blake. With his hands resting flat on the desktop, he leaned intently toward his brother. “Blake, are you all right this morning? You’re the judge. Hell, you’ve never cared about being happy before. What’s this talk about, anyway?”
Oddly enough, Holt was right. Ever since their father had died, Blake hadn’t allowed himself to think about whether he was a contented man. He’d been too busy putting the ranch, his mother and siblings all before himself. Even when he’d gotten engaged to Lenore, he’d not really went around in a blissful state of mind. He’d simply considered getting married as one more step toward meeting all the goals he’d set for himself. He’d never stopped to consider whether fulfilling those steps in life was the same as being happy.
“I’ve never... Well, that was before, uh, things changed,” he finally said.
“Oh. You mean now that you’re seeing Katherine O’Dell.” Holt straightened away from the desk and folded his arms against his chest. “When she was here last week for dinner, I could tell you really liked her.”
Liked? This thing he was feeling for Katherine was far more than like. He feared he was falling for the woman and the chance of him holding on to his heart was about like a snowflake surviving on a hot sidewalk.
Her Man on Three Rivers Ranch Page 9