by Jill Patten
Toxic Secrets
a novel by
Jill Patten
Copyright © 2013 by Jill Patten
Cover Art: © Meredith Blair, http://www.authorsangels.com/
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work or fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. With the exception of the original material written by the author, all songs, song titles, and lyrics contained in this book are the property of the respective songwriters and copyright holders.
For my sister, Lara, who planted the seed in my head, making me believe I could actually do this.
For my friend, Tiffanny, who nagged me relentlessly for the next chapter as she needed another fix.
For my smut sisters – Terri Thomas, Amy Jennings, Adriane Leigh, Summer Marston, Beth Ashworth, Joan Pleasant, Teri Maxwell, K.M. Golland and Sibylla Matilde. Without you ladies, this book would be a wreck. I owe it all to you for helping me perfect my story. Lifelong friendships never die. Love you!
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1 ~ Decisions and Confrontations
Chapter 2 ~ Compromise
Chapter 3 ~ Checkmate
Chapter 4 ~ Dressed to Impress
Chapter 5 ~ You Make Me Wanna
Chapter 6 ~ A Toast to New Beginnings
Chapter 7 ~ A Kiss of Rejection
Chapter 8 ~ Sweet Cheeks with a Touch of Honesty
Chapter 9 ~ The Caretaker and the Dictator
Chapter 10 ~ Suspicious Eyes
Chapter 11 ~ Showtime at Seven O’clock
Chapter 12 ~ King of Crazies
Chapter 13 ~ Apologies
Chapter 14 ~ Holiday Surprise
Chapter 15 ~ Snow Princess
Chapter 16 ~ Texting
Chapter 17 ~ Mr. Jaxon S. Vaughn
Chapter 18 ~ Last Basketball Game
Chapter 19 ~ Jaxon
Chapter 20 ~ Forgiveness
Chapter 21 ~ Jaxon
Chapter 22 ~ Surrender
Chapter 23 ~ Jaxon
Chapter 24 ~ Falling In, Falling Out
Chapter 25 ~ Jaxon
Chapter 26 ~ Californication
Chapter 27 ~ Pieces from the Past
Chapter 28 ~ Love Material
Chapter 29 ~ Jaxon
Chapter 30 ~ You Dropped the Bomb on Me, Baby
Chapter 31 ~ Vengeance is Mine
Epilogue
Toxic Secrets Playlist of Inspiration
Courtney’s California Playlist
Acknowledgements
Prologue
After eating the traditional Thanksgiving dinner, my stomach was bordering along the lines of regurgitation. To make matters worse, driving around on the back roads of North Carolina was frustrating the hell out of me. All the twisted roads—or, as they were called around here, “kiss your ass curves” —were making it difficult to know which direction I was heading. Traveling in this part of the state was nothing like the easy navigation you find in Southern California. I figured they didn’t believe in road signs in this part of the state. It was because of this that I had to rely on my GPS to get me back into town.
My lungs fully expanded with a refreshing dose of crisp clean air, which was a far cry from the So Cal smog I was used to. With my hand laying relaxed out the window, I rubbed my fingers and thumb together, missing the feel of a cigarette between them.
According to the locals, the weather was unseasonably warm for this time of year. It sort of reminded me of the weather I had left back home in Cali. As bright as the sun shone today, I regretted not wearing my Ray Bans. Instead, I opted for the intelligent style, and wore my prescription glasses—it sort of diverted people’s opinion of me. Not that it stopped Reed from playing matchmaker today. Hell, he knew me well enough anyway for it to not matter.
If my cousin Reed wasn’t so damn persistent on setting me up with his girlfriend’s best friend, I might have waited to follow him back into town. I wasn’t out here for that shit. This trip was strictly business, not pleasure. What the hell was he thinking anyway? I had no business throwing myself in the mix of high school girls… immature girls… jailbait… trouble… Besides, they would only put on a fake façade around me then brag to their friends about having an older boyfriend. I didn’t have time for that shit.
High school—those days seemed so long ago… some of the best days of my life, and some of the worst. What I wouldn’t have given to turn back time and correct my mistakes instead of living a life full of regrets.
When the hotel sign came into sight, I blew out a breath of relief that I made it back to the hotel without getting lost. I’d seen Deliverance, and, if I were to hear the sound of banjoes playing, I would have been hopping my ass back on a plane to California. My phone buzzed as I pulled into the parking lot, Reed’s name appearing across the screen. Parking the rental, I grabbed my phone to see what he wanted. My heart paused for a second as the picture of a familiar face took me by surprise. What the fuck! Was this some sort of sick joke?
My Princess.
My fingers clasped around the phone tightly.
Dark, natural curly hair that flowed past the shoulders, big green eyes, deep as a rain forest… plump, pink lips that felt all too familiar to me… I closed my eyes; her face was still fresh in my mind. I hadn’t forgotten one single detail of her.
My Princess.
Was he playing fucking mind games with me? He couldn’t be because he didn’t know.
I texted back.
Me: Why are you sending me this?
R: It’s Courtney, Kendra’s friend. Please say yes, Jaxon?
I couldn’t peel my eyes away from it. She was just as beautiful as I had remembered.
Before I could respond, Reed buzzed with another text.
R: She works at the local cinema, and she’s working tonight. Go see a movie and check her out yourself.
Me: Maybe.
R: Dude! Just do it or Kendra will kick my ass! I promised her already that you would.
I contemplated the idea, already knowing I had to see the girl face to face. After all, it was Thanksgiving and everything was closed except the local theater and, of course, the Chinese restaurant.
I grabbed my phone and sent Reed another text.
Me: Ok, but no promises.
Could I face this look-alike? Can I be around her without confusing myself?
Reed texted me back with the name of the theater and address so I could program it into my GPS. Making a big circle in the parking lot, I headed back onto the main road.
The parking lot was crowded, so I assumed that three-fourths of the town’s population had crammed themselves into this small building. I walked inside and stood in the long line to purchase my ticket while vigilantly scanning the employee’s faces and name tags. Courtney, was that her name? There was no sign of her anywhere. The movie I had chosen was starting in a few minutes, so I got into another line to show my ticket. As I got closer to the girl taking tickets, I realized it was her. Holy shit!
My heart leaped up into my throat, and I could feel my pulse pounding in my neck. The moisture in my palms was making my ticket damp. Not wanting to creep her out, I swiped my palms across my jeans before approaching her.
Waiting my turn, I looked down at her petite frame, sizing up her chest that was the perfect size f
or my hands and hips with just the right amount of curves.
Blinking her eyes like the wings of a hummingbird, she nervously took my ticket. “Your movie is showing in theater six. Enjoy.” Her voice was soft. But her smile was off, it wasn’t the same. Her accent was off, too, but her shyness was the same as I remembered. I could only assume she wanted to stare, but, instead, she tried to hide it. I’d seen that gesture too many times. The resemblance was bizarre. People say everyone had a twin, but she looked more like a clone.
My interest in watching the movie vanished. Instead, I wanted to pick her up and hold her in my arms. I wanted to wrap my hands around her tiny waist then slide them down under her plump ass. If only I could kiss her and taste the sweetness I missed. I wanted to lose myself in her, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t her. I didn’t want to freak the girl out. With my eyes closed tight, I inhaled a deep breath. Don’t lose it, Jaxon.
Before I opened the door to my theater, I glanced back at her to get one last look. Everything I had worked so hard to forget started to leak back to the surface. The taste of her… the scent of her… the feel of her… those memories never disappeared. She was oblivious of me, she had no idea I was about to change her world.
Once I found a seat, I sent Reed a simple text.
Me: I’ll go.
Then I turned my phone off.
Had fate removed the ones I loved the most from my life just to lead me to this girl?
Chapter 1 ~ Decisions and Confrontations
Before I could even shut the door to her convertible VW bug, Kendra bombarded me with the same question she’d been asking all weekend.
“So, have you given it any more thought?”
Here we go again, I thought to myself.
Rolling my eyes and reaching over to turn the volume up on the radio, I blew through my pursed lips and turned my back to her. My thoughts were running rampant as I stared out the window and considered my options. I ignored Kendra and her repetitive question for the duration of the ride to school.
The mush-ball that I am, guilt started to settle in halfway to school. It always did when I gave Kendra the cold shoulder after having a tiff. She was, after all, my best friend, my one and only true friend that had stuck by me since the first grade.
We were both new to the school this year after transferring due to a re-zoning, and, as no surprise, she had no problems making new friends. I on the other hand wasn’t as fortunate. In the beginning, I had optimistically looked forward to attending the same school as Phillip, and to also have Kendra with me, but it rapidly became disastrous. Phillip had ruined my reputation before the school year even started. He had made up lies about me and told people I cheated on him, and that I stalked him when he broke things off with me. He was such a scheming asshole. After I ended our nearly four year relationship, the rumors got worse.
“Okay, since you are obviously giving me the silent treatment, I think we should settle things by making a deal. I promise I won’t ask you again as long as you promise to give me your final answer by Wednesday,” Kendra said as she turned the car off. It was Monday, so that gave me three full days.
Kendra was so relentless that she worried the piss out of me until I finally peeked over the ledge, waving my little white flag. She had a touch of only-child syndrome. I was an only-child too, but I wasn’t a rich, spoiled only-child. I glanced over at her, and she looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes, begging and pleading with her hands folded in a praying gesture.
“Kendra, you know I’m not ready for that right now. I just want to make new friends and have the whole high school experience before I graduate. I know I’m a little late for that party, but I still have half the school year left.”
“I get that, but, damn, Courtney, it’s just one night,” she scolded. “I’m not fighting with you over something so petty.”
“Then don’t.” I jerked my stuff up and drudged out of the car, huffing my way through the parking lot, when I was nearly knocked off balance.
Kendra linked her arm around mine. “You know I never give up,” she whispered in my ear, followed with a quick kiss to my cheek.
Without giving me a chance to protest, she took off, skipping between the cars and laughing out loud to herself before I could get a word out of my mouth.
The corners of my lips tugged into a small smile. My frustration with her never lasted more than a few minutes, and I knew at that moment I had been defeated.
I was standing at my locker, fiddling with the combination on my lock when I heard that familiar, silky voice behind me. “Enjoy your Thanksgiving? It wasn’t the same this year with you not being there.”
His close proximity sent an unwanted shiver through my body, but I didn’t bother turning around as I removed books from my locker. “Leave the past where it is. What do you want, Phillip?” I snapped through gritted teeth.
“I was just asking about your Thanksgiving. Why do you assume I want something?” he said, trapping me in with both hands planted on each side of my locker. “And I can’t leave you in the past when you’re currently always in my present.” His smile was sickening and flirty. He knew my weak points and he was using them against me. He knew how I bent to his sexual manner.
Wanting him to know he didn’t intimidate me anymore, and that I wasn’t his to control, I turned around to face him. Don’t show weakness.
“Oh I don’t know, maybe because you’ve not spoken to me since I taped pictures of you with your whores all over your car,” I pointed out with confidence.
A corner of his lip turned up into a slight smile, but anger pierced from his dark brown eyes.
Oh crap! That might not have been the wisest thing to say. I had no one around as my witness if Phillip decided to retaliate to my comment. I flexed the muscles in my arms as I anticipated the pinch he liked to give when he tried to hurt me discreetly.
He leaned down so close to me that our noses nearly touched, then he softly said, “Did I ever tell you how hot you look when you put on the gangster act?”
Holy hell balls!
I couldn’t speak. My tongue suddenly felt as if it had absorbed every drop of moisture in my mouth. I tried swallowing, but it was bone dry.
Laughing nervously, I replied. “Phillip, I don’t know what games you’re playing with me, but I don’t have time for them, and you’re going to make me late for class.” I swiftly ducked down and slipped under his arm escaping his entrapment.
Suddenly, I stopped mid-step when I felt my hoodie being tugged from behind. My heart started pounding in my chest when I glanced over my shoulder at Phillip. “Just so you know, I’m not playing games, Jeanette,” he said firmly.
Heat rose from my neck up into my cheeks. I lowered my eyes and glared at him. He knew how much I hated that nickname. Remain calm, Court, he’s just trying to piss you off, I told myself.
He let out a boisterous laugh. “See ya later in class,” he called out cheerfully as he walked the opposite direction down the hall. Pompous ass.
Just like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Phillip could always flip his personality on a whim.
I was barely able to slip through the door before Mr. Whitmore closed in on me.
As I rushed past him, I mumbled, “Sorry, emergency,” before making a mad dash to my desk. I loathed the idea of being the last person in class because everybody always stared at the person walking in late. Some people loved drawing attention to themselves, but I was not one of them. I preferred sitting in a corner or in the back where no one could see me.
I was positive my face still looked flushed. Kendra gave me her what-the-hell look as I sat down in front of her. I exchanged a crazy look back to her with my eyes bugging out of my head.
As I slid into my chair, trying to catch my breath, I felt my phone buzz.
K: What happened? r u ok?
Hiding my phone under my desk, I quickly put it on silent.
Me: Got caught up by Phillip. I’ll tell u later.
K: OMG!!! I can’t wait till
later.
Kendra was so impatient. If I didn’t end this now, we’d be texting back and forth throughout class, and I didn’t need any more attention drawn to myself by getting busted by Mr. Whitmore.
Discreetly, I held my phone up for Kendra to see me turn it off. Problem fixed.
Kendra huffed and puffed and tapped her pencil incessantly throughout class, just loud enough for my ears. I could tell she was chomping at the bit to find out what just took place with Phillip. I glanced back at her a few times to mouth Stop! But she ignored me every time.
Phillip and I had been dating since the middle of our freshmen year. At that time, we attended separate schools and the night we met our teams were playing against each other. Prior to that night, I had no clue as to who Phillip was, before the night ended, I knew him on a kissing level. He charmed me with his smooth, manipulating ways and I fell head over heels for him.
After ending our long term relationship and only being single for a month, I had no desire to go on any dates any time soon. I was more concerned with building friendships than dating. Phillip had a way of manipulating people and he ruined my reputation with everyone in school. I was on a mission though, to persuade everyone that I had been the victim in our relationship, not him.
Mr. Whitmore’s words sounded like a low hum in my ears throughout class. My mind was busy replaying the strange encounter I had earlier, and, by the time first period ended, I was geared up for the entire day to be over. I wasn’t ready to face Phillip in my next class.
As soon as the bell rang, I twisted around in my chair to give Kendra the run-down of the little episode that unfolded this morning by my locker.
“That prick just wants a piece of your ass for Christmas, Courtney,” she said knowingly. “You have always been that easy piece for him, and he thinks, if he throws a little charm bone your way, you will come back begging like a sick puppy. Stay away from him, and I mean it!” she demanded, giving me a firm glare, but I could see the concern in her eyes, too.