by Julia Sykes
Blindfolded, held down. The sickly sweet smell of him, the gravelly voice that uttered such sickening words…
My skin crawled where he had touched me. I shuddered and hugged my arms across my chest, covering my breasts as though I could protect my more vulnerable areas from the memory of him.
“Hey,” Reed’s voice was gentle, but it held the barest edge of anger. “You’re all right. It’s over.” His arms closed around me, and I buried my face in his chest. I breathed him in, washing away the stench of too much cologne with his rich, salty scent. My exhale left me on a soft sob. He let me cry against him. His strength was a bulwark against the disgusting memories, but the quiet rage I detected in the tightness of his muscles was a subtle reminder that I had been violated.
“I need you to tell me what happened,” he said softly when my cries had quieted. I tensed in his arms, but he gave me a reassuring squeeze before he pulled back slightly. His hands remained around my shoulders, tethering me to him, and he fixed me in his earnest black stare. “I know it’s difficult to face, but it’ll be easier if you get it out now. I need to know so I can catch this fucker, but you need to tell me so that it won’t haunt you. Let me help you. Trust me.” His lips softened with something akin to yearning at the last.
“I do trust you, Reed. But I don’t know if I…” I swallowed hard. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
His expression turned stern. “Don’t bury this, Katie. You know that won’t solve anything. It won’t help you deal with it, and it won’t help us catch Parnell.”
Parnell. Reed said the sadistic bastard’s name as though he was certain of my stalker’s identity. I wasn’t so sure. I wasn’t sure of anything. And that was exactly how my attacker had intended it.
“I don’t know, Reed. There’s nothing to tell. He caught me off guard and hit me with the drugs, then blindfolded me. I couldn’t see him or touch him. He disguised his voice, and he was wearing a ton of cologne to mask his scent. He wore gloves. I can’t give you anything that would help you ID him.”
“That’s helpful, Katie,” Reed encouraged me. I gave him a dubious look. “That tells me he’s intelligent, and he knows how to counter your training. He’s familiar with investigative techniques. He’s probably a repeat offender, which further points us toward Parnell. We’ll track him down, Katie.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. It didn’t seem like Parnell. He hates me. The man who attacked me seems to…” I struggled to find the right words. “He doesn’t just want to hurt me. He wants to keep me. He said… He said he would make me love him.”
Reed didn’t seem to realize that his fingers were digging into my flesh. I welcomed the little bite of pain. It kept me grounded in the present.
“I swear I’m going to find him, Katie.” A fervent light gleamed across his dark eyes.
I shook my head. “He wants me to find him. I don’t know what to do, Reed. He said he could take me at any time. And obviously, that’s true.” I shivered at the knowledge of how easily he could have abducted me. I forced my mind to go into work mode, to analyze my attacker as though he was an ordinary suspect. “He’s arrogant. He gets off on seeing what he can get away with. If I don’t find him, he’ll just keep coming for me. But if I go after him, I’m giving him what he wants.” Something occurred to me. “I think he knew you were coming. He left right before you arrived. How would he know that?”
“I don’t know, Katie, but we’ll look into it. The first thing we have to do is find Parnell. If it’s not him, at least we can rule him out once we question him. He might just be saying he wants to keep you in order to scare you. If he does hate you, that would make sense. Especially if he’s smart enough to throw you off from IDing him. He could be misrepresenting his intentions as well.”
I knew deep in my bones that Reed was wrong. “No,” I said quietly. “My attacker wasn’t lying. He says I belong to him. He keeps calling me his pet.”
“Did he touch you?” The barely contained rage in Reed’s voice let me know he was asking about more than just my stalker’s hands around my wrists.
I looked away, unable to meet his eyes. “Not really.”
He cupped my cheek in his hand and firmly turned my face back to his so that his eyes could burn into mine. “Did he touch you?” He wasn’t going to tolerate my evasiveness.
“He reached under my shirt,” I heard myself whisper. “But he was wearing gloves. He didn’t really…” I trailed off. The denial sounded desperate in my own ears.
“You let him touch you. You’ll be punished for that. But not yet,” he had said. He had twisted my nipple, but that wasn’t my punishment. The way his cock had jerked against me let me know he had so much more planned for me.
“Yes,” I admitted. “He touched me.”
Saying it aloud made it so much more real. It made it so much worse. I tore my eyes from Reed’s and gasped in a breath, pushing the horror away. “He said he would leave me a clue,” my mind searched for something else to focus on. “Did you find anything?”
Reed’s lips thinned, but he allowed the subject change. The harsh grip of his fingers on my arms let me know that he didn’t want to think about it, either.
“The syringe. I sent it to forensics for immediate processing. They should be able to let us know what drugs he gave you. I also turned in the blindfold. There might be trace DNA in the fabric; skin cells, hair. If not, they can analyze the fibers for the source of the cloth. Anything they find will help.”
“Good,” it took all my determination to sound like a detached professional. “That’s good.” Even though I had only been awake for a few minutes, exhaustion sank into my bones. “I want to go home,” I said, my voice small.
Reed’s fingers stroked through my hair. “I’m sorry, Katie, but you can’t go home. I swept it for bugs today. He’s been watching you at your apartment. He knows where you live and how to get in. You’re going to stay at my hotel. I’m not letting you out of my sight until we bring this guy down.”
I shouldn’t have been surprised that he had a plan in place, and that it involved keeping me close. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Not after the fresh reminders that pain with sex was sick and wrong. Not after Dex had told me he loved me and the implications that he wanted to be my Dom.
I opened my mouth to protest, but nothing came out. I had nowhere else to go. I certainly couldn’t stay with Dex, and I wasn’t willing to run to Frank like a frightened child. Reed might be showing me how to open myself to my vulnerability, but I was too worried about making Frank disappointed in me by showing weakness. I was supposed to be a strong, competent FBI agent, not a weeping little girl.
“Okay,” I agreed, utterly defeated. “I’ll stay with you, Reed.”
“Gizmo!” I dropped to my knees just inside the hotel room door, and my cat leapt into my arms. He gave a sad little meow at having been kidnapped and taken to a strange place without me. I turned watery eyes on Reed. “You brought him here?” I was deeply touched that he hadn’t left Gizzy alone.
He gave me his first genuine grin since I had awoken in the hospital. “Yep. And I have the scratches to prove it. He wasn’t too keen to get in the box.”
The laugh that bubbled up my throat caught me by surprise. “Yeah, he hates leaving my apartment. It usually means he’s going to the vet.” I cuddled Gizmo closer, and my voice dropped to the silly baby tone I used only with him. “Did big bad Reed scare you?”
Reed snorted. “‘Big bad Reed’? Really? I guess I don’t hate that. Although I’d prefer if you didn’t say it in that crazy cat lady voice.”
I flushed at being caught talking to Gizmo. I didn’t usually do it in front of other people. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
He chuckled. I loved that warm, cocky sound. “There’s no need to be sorry. It’s kind of cute. Besides, Gizmo and I are friends now.” He crouched down beside us and scratched the cat behind the ears. Gizmo closed his eyes and purred.
My brows lifted. “How did
you manage that?”
“I gave him lots of cat treats.”
I slapped him on the arm. “Gizmo’s on a diet!” I scolded.
Reed shrugged. “Doesn’t look like it. How was I to know? Besides,” he gave me a slow grin, “I like to pamper my pets.”
Any warmth I might have felt at this heated stare was doused by the word. My eyes found a spot on the floor just beside Reed’s knees. “Don’t say that,” I whispered. I knew he had been talking about more than Gizmo. And while I might have once found it hot that he was referring to me as a cherished possession, now it left me cold.
“Come and find me, my brave little pet.”
He let out a low curse. “Sorry, Katie. I didn’t mean it like that.”
My eyes snapped up to turn an accusatory stare on him. “Didn’t you?”
His jaw set. “Okay. I did mean it like that. But I didn’t mean to upset you. Do you know how angry it makes me that he’s fucking with your mind like this? Don’t think I can’t see that you’re putting your walls back up. Don’t let him win, Katie. Don’t let him make you deny who you are.”
I jumped to my feet, dropping Gizmo. My eyes narrowed. “You don’t know me, Reed Miller. You just met me a few days ago. You don’t know the first thing about me.”
He stood as well, and he suddenly towered over me. “I know you’re funny and sweet and have a gentle heart. I know you pretend you’re a hard-ass because you feel like you can’t show your vulnerability. And I know you’re desperate to drop that act and just be yourself. What I don’t know is why you won’t.” He fixed me with a level stare. “Your stalker is counting on you keeping your walls up. He wants you to stay isolated, untrusting. That’s what makes you vulnerable, Katie, not your emotions.”
Anger boiled up. It was so much easier than the fear I felt at how easily he had read my soul. He wanted me to change my whole way of thinking about myself, at a time when it had never been more important that I hold myself together. And it frightened me how much I craved what he offered; not just sexual ecstasy, but emotional freedom.
“I’m not isolated. You’re shadowing my every move, remember?” I hurled it out like an insult, but all I earned from him was an admonishing frown. I turned from him sharply, no longer able to face him. I had been hit with too much in the last few days. And Reed was just making everything worse by forcing me to look at hard truths about myself.
“Where are you going?”
“To take a shower. Are you going to follow me in there, too?” I spat the words as though they were bitter in my mouth. And they were bitter, because a part of me wanted that.
Reed didn’t respond, so I continued to stalk the last few steps toward the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. I tried to cling to my anger, but fear burned through it. My fingers were trembling when I struggled to undo my shirt buttons. I suddenly longed to step under the shower’s hot spray, to scour my stalker’s touch from my skin.
When I stepped under the cascading water, I turned it up as hot as it would go, but my skin still felt cold. The iciness seeped all the way down to my bones, and my teeth chattered.
The shower curtain pulled back, and I let out a little shocked squeak.
“To answer your question,” Reed said as he stepped in behind me, “yes, I am going to follow you in here. You won’t get rid of me that easily, Katie.” His arms closed around me, caging me in. His naked body pressed against mine, and his cock instantly began to harden against my hip.
“I don’t want you in here!” I lied and tried to push him away. He held me firmly.
“Yes, you do. You’re lying because you’re scared about the fact that you want me in here.”
“You think you’re so smart,” I hurled at him. “I was just assaulted. Why on earth would I want a man to touch me right now?”
His features twisted to something fierce, but not out of anger at me. He was enraged by the reminder of my stalker’s hands on me. Suddenly, he pressed my back up against the wall, and one of his hands pinned my wrists against the tiles above my head. I couldn’t help but be reminded of how my attacker had trapped me.
“No!” I gasped, my panic bleeding out. I jerked against his hold.
“Yes,” Reed said, his voice as firm as his grip. “You want this, Katie. And I’m not going to let him take it from you. I’m not going to let him take you from me. I won’t fucking allow it.”
His lips came down on mine, ruthlessly parting them to forestall my protest. As soon as his tongue subdued mine, I felt familiar heat gathering between my legs. The fingers of his free hand slid up my thigh to play through my slick folds, and he groaned at the wetness he found there. It was more than just water. He stroked my clit, and I softened further, melting against him.
Abruptly, he gripped me with his whole hand. Two fingers slid into me while his palm ground against my clit. I let out a little shocked cry at the utterly possessive hold. He tore his lips from mine so that he could pin me with his onyx stare.
“This is mine, Katie. Not his. Your pussy, your body. They belong to me.”
I couldn’t help shuddering at the word belong. It was too close to what my stalker had said. Reed mercilessly stroked his fingers against my g-spot, and my eyes flew wide.
“Tell me, Katie. Tell me you belong to me. Not him.”
He rotated his palm against my clit as he crooked his fingers inside me. All my fear was blown away by bliss. Yes, I wanted to belong to Reed. I gave myself to him willingly, and that made all the difference.
“I’m yours, Reed.”
He bent and nipped my ear sharply. I moaned and rotated my hips against him in wanton abandon.
“Good. Now address me properly.”
“I’m yours, Sir.”
His hand left me, but my moment of grief at the loss quickly faded when he kicked my ankles apart, spreading my legs. He paused with his cock head teasing the entrance of my pussy.
“I’m clean,” he told me, his voice rough with the strain of holding himself back. “Are you on birth control?”
“Yes! Please fuck me, Sir!” My urging was almost fevered.
His sensual lips curved up in a wicked smile. “You learn quickly. Good girl.” Then he thrust up into me. I shrieked out my pleasure/pain. I was still sore from our last coupling, but the burn of him stretching me was delicious. He kept my wrists pinned above me as he stroked into me, and the sensation of being restrained by him made me soften further.
His free hand caressed my bottom. His clever fingers found a little patch of sensitive skin just at the top of my ass, and I cried out and squirmed against him in surprised delight. He laughed against my lips, and his fingers dipped lower, spreading me. I went utterly still when he reached my asshole.
“Has anyone ever touched you here?” His voice was roughened by lust, and he ground his hips against me, stimulating my clit as he moved within me. I relaxed in the wake of the flash of pleasure, and the tip of his finger slipped into me. “Answer me.”
“No, Sir,” the words were barely audible. Intense embarrassment and perverse arousal warred, feeding off one another until my entire body was on fire.
“Good.” He rocked into me, and he pressed deeper when I gave again. I knew that only one finger penetrated me, but I had never felt so thoroughly taken. Reed’s tongue claimed my mouth again, and he filled me everywhere. I came completely undone under his onslaught. Only his hold on my body kept me upright as pleasure flooded all my senses, in ways I had never imagined possible.
In the midst of my orgasm, I heard his rough shout. Heat lashed my pussy, and primal chemicals in my brain registered increased ecstasy at the sensation of him coming inside me. His full weight bore down on me as he rode out his pleasure.
“Mine,” he murmured against my lips.
“Yours.”
Chapter 11
“Yours.” My lust-drunken promise of the night before was the first thing I recalled in the morning. I kept my eyes closed, hoping to savor the sweet memory in that bl
issful place between sleeping and waking. But cruel unease pulled my mind to full lucidity. Images of how I had been restrained by my stalker, how helpless and sick I had felt when he touched me, floated to the surface, mingling with my recollections of bliss under Reed’s domineering hands.
What was wrong with me? How could I be disgusted by being rendered completely vulnerable and then come flying apart with pleasure at the same treatment only mere hours later?
Because with Reed, it’s consensual, I acknowledged. But why did my body consent to it? Why did I burn for him when he held me down and told me I belonged to him? I shouldn’t want to belong to anyone. I was strong, independent. It was wrong to want to allow a man to make me his possession. No matter how gorgeous and sweet and alluring that man was.
I became aware of Reed’s low murmur floating in from the sitting room of his hotel suite. I glanced at the clock. 6:21 AM. A long groan left my chest, and I considered rolling over and going back to sleep. What the hell was he doing awake? And working, by the sound of it.
I sighed. If Reed was working, I should be, too. He had exhausted my body, but I had more important things to do than sleep. Maybe I would have to try some more of that damn coffee. Reed had mentioned one with “caramel undertones.” That didn’t sound terrible.
Without my realizing it, a lopsided smile broke out on my face. I was quickly becoming infatuated with more than just his body. He had saved Gizmo, for god’s sake. And he had bled for it. I came to the realization that I wanted my partner more than I had ever wanted any man. And that didn’t scare me as much as it should. My mind told me all the reasons it was wrong – we were coworkers, Frank would disapprove, it was obviously tearing my best friend apart. And then there was the disconcerting fact that I craved the sexual pain he gave me.
But those reasons were only things I knew in my mind; I didn’t feel them in my heart.