“Reed,” I stepped closer to him. “We can’t take Oscar’s truck.”
Reed pushed the door shut, then fell against it. He leaned his head forward, running his fingers through his shaggy hair. “I know,” he said. “I know, I know.”
“Are you kidding me?” Eddie said, his voice coming out shockingly angry. “Really, Reed? Are you going to care about that right now?”
“Eddie, it’s not ours!” Reed said back, his voice rising.
“Yeah. You’re right. It’s theft. Grand theft auto right?Punishable by up to thirty.” He motioned to me, his eyes flared with anger. “And you want her to come with us? She is on probation! If she is caught, she goes right back to Spokane, no more chances! And what about us? We are bailing out on our work contracts. That is against the blasted law too, Reed! Are you really caring about that crap right now?”
Eddie’s voice was getting too loud. Reed stood up, looking around with wide eyes. Luckily no one looked to be in earshot of us. Yet. “Eddie, calm down. We just need to…”
Eddie took a step toward Reed. I wanted to step in to stop him. I could see his fists clenching at his sides, his cheeks reddening with anger. I managed to utter a wimpy, “Eddie, please…”
Eddie didn’t hear me. He was focused on Reed. “You come and get me, finally tell me we can get out of this Nation. And now you want us to what, walk? Hitch hike? Hell, why don’t we just go kindly ask them to let us out?”
“Eddie! Will you shut up!” Reed yelled. I saw Eddie jump as the sudden boom of Reed’s voice. My own body tensed in surprise. Reed ran a hand through his hair again then turned to me. “How much cash do you have?”
“One hundred. Barely.”
“Okay.” He fished into his pocket and pulled out a wad of bills. Flipping through it, he pulled out a good chunk and handed it to me. “Add fifty to that.” Without asking, I pulled out fifty from my pocket and added it to the stack. “Eddie, you too.”
Eddie opened his mouth to protest.
“Eddie, just do it will you?” Reed shot at him before he could speak. Eddie huffed an angry breath, then pulled some money from his jacket pocket and slapped it onto the pile in my hands.
Reed pulled open the truck door and crawled inside. I could hear him shuffle things around before he backed out. He held out a wrinkled envelope, partly torn open and obviously stepped on. “Let me see that,” he said, holding his hand out to me.
I handed him the stack. He shoved it into the envelope, then pulled a pen out of his jacket pocket. He quickly scribbled ‘Oscar Ramos’ on the front of it, scratching out the other writing that was jotted all over the envelope.
Mumbling something under his breath, Reed pushed past both of us and hurried to the house. He stopped by a door, its surface dirtier than the rest of the house. The doors around it looked new. This door was obviously used much more often. He stood for a moment, looking at it, then tucked the envelope under its stop and hurried back to us.
Reed looked at me, his eyebrows raised in question. I nodded to him, shifting my bag on my shoulder. Sighing, he opened the passenger door for me then hurried back to the driver side.
I climbed in, Eddie close behind me. Both men slammed the doors shut at the same time, the truck shaking as if afraid.
We sat for a moment, looking at the large house in front of us. “Why did you do that?” Eddie asked, his voice finally cooling.
“Oscar has been good to us, Eddie. The least we can do for taking his truck is leave him a little cash to find another one.” Reed looked down at the key in his hand, staring at it a moment before pushing it into the ignition. “We aren’t the criminals.”
Eddie nodded.
Reed turned the key, the engine rumbling to life. We backed out of the driveway and turned onto the old road. Silence took over the cab, the air tense and apprehensive. The truck bounced down the dirt road, past the town, and finally turned onto the old paved highway. There was no one else on the road. Nothing but dirt, dead grass, and the occasional lonely bird.
“Hey man,” Eddie muttered finally. “I’m sorry.”
Reed grunted, his lips tight. “You really need to learn to cool it, Eddie. That temper is going to get you killed someday.”
Eddie chuckled, then playfully elbowed me. “Blame it on the hair,” he said, pointing to his messy red locks. “You know what they say. I have fire for hair, so must have fire for a temper. Stupid hair, huh?” I smiled at him, relieved to see the twinkle in his eyes. Eddie scared me when he lost his temper. He leaned past me, smacking Reed on the arm. “So, where to Captain?”
I could hear Reed let out a slow breath. “I’m not really sure.”
“Awesome.” Eddie slammed back against the seat again, turning to look out his window.
“By night they will know we are gone,” Reed went on calmly. “They probably won’t care too much about you and me. Just put a warrant on our records and call it good. Millie though… they seem more protective of their prison born. I don’t know why.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
Reed glanced at me. Offering me a small smile, he reached down and held my hand gently. “It’s just something some of us have noticed. Those like you, who were born in the Prison, the Nation seems more protective of. They keep a closer eye on you, even when the parole is over.
“You haven’t been out long,” Reed went on, his eyes focused back on the road. “For those of us who have always been out, we’ve noticed that most of the people convicted lately are the ones who are dirt born. Those born in the prison are staying free more.”
Eddie turned away from the window. “Tell me, little Jail Baby, what the heck are they preaching to you in there?” He smiled as he asked, but I still cringed at the title.
I licked my lips. “The same things they teach in school for you. The history of the great Nation. Why it is important that the Nation keeps its criminals locked away.” I lowered my eyes, letting them settle on Reed’s hand as he held mine. “That the Nation needs the good and the strong.”
Eddie snorted. Snapping my eyes up, I looked over at him. “Sounds like some grade-A brainwashing,” Eddie said, his voice suppressing another laugh. “Or more like some grade-A −”
“Eddie, come on,” Reed interrupted. I could hear the hint of laughter on his voice.
“Hey man, we are in a truck heading somewhere we don’t even know. I don’t think there is any Big Brother in here.”
“Big brother?” I asked.
Eddie looked at me, his mouth curled at the corners. “Yeah, you know. 1984.”
I shook my head.
“Aw, come on! They preach to you about being all good and strong for the Nation, but they don’t even let you read classics like that?”
“I read my school books. They let me read other books, sometimes… but that had been a treat. We were taught that we needed to learn the truth. That the criminals believed in lies because they were taught lies. The Nation was the strong, and those of us who learned the truth became the good. Didn’t they teach you −”
Reed shook his head. “You learn something different, Millie, when you’re living the truth.” His face turned thoughtful for a moment. “Makes sense though.”
“What does?” I asked.
“Why they lock us up, the ones born on the outside. They don’t want us being out here. They want you.”
“Me?”
“Jail Babies. The ones who actually believe in the Nation. The ones who love it.”
“It’s a Jail Baby apocalypse!” Eddie said, waving his hands in the air as he laughed.
I looked over to Reed. He smiled, lifted my hand and kissed my fingers. His lips were warm and soft, pressing gently for a second then lifting just enough that I could barely feel his skin brushing mine. I could feel his breath on my fingers, moist in the cool air. Reed held my hand there a moment, then let it drop into my lap as he gripped the steering wheel with both hands. The smile still rested lightly on his lips.
Eddie
leaned in toward me again. “And for the record: we were home schooled. We learned useful things. Like the square root of x.” Eddie laughed and moved to look back out his window at the passing land.
We let the truck settle into a calm quiet. The engine rumbled, the sound of the tires rolling down the road becoming a constant hum. I let my mind drift to the sounds. Leaning my head against Reed’s shoulder, I closed my eyes. My fingers lightly played with my metal bracelet, spinning it around and around.
It was cold against my wrist. I could feel the etching of my name under my fingertips as it spun. The image of the small devices used to scan the bracelets trickled into my mind. I had never even bothered to learn what it was called. My entire life my bracelet had been scanned, and I didn’t even know how. I felt something stir in my thoughts. There was something I should know, but no matter how hard I tried to grasp it, it escaped me. There had been so much I had never asked.
I finally gave up. Sighing, I let my bracelet drop to hang heavy against my wrist as I lifted my hand to touch the key through my thin shirt. I could feel the sea glass tied to it, a small lump under my shirt. My fingers carefully pushed it against my chest. I hadn’t mentioned the key yet. I found myself wishing I could keep it to myself, keep it safe and perfect, the memories of Orrin and Jude secured safely near my heart.
Reed mumbled to himself, reading the road signs as they passed. A few times he slowed, almost taking an exit, then shook his head and sped past. He didn’t have a plan. He wanted to be free, but didn’t know which direction freedom waited. My heart ached, pressing the key harder against my skin. Sitting up, I glanced at Eddie who snored lightly next to me, then looked over to Reed.
“I know.”
Reed glanced at me, his brow furrowed in question. “What?”
I could hear Eddie lift his head drowsily. “What do you know, Mills?”
I focused my eyes ahead of us. The road was still empty. Shadows stretched long and lonely as the sun began to set in the distance. I carefully pulled the key out from under my shirt, holding it out in my open palm so the glass glowed in the warm sunlight.
“I know how we can escape.”
21
Reed didn’t want to stop for the night. After I had told him about the door in the Wall, and the key Jude had given me, he insisted we needed to get there as soon as we could. The sky had darkened to a thick black, only a few hints of the sun’s rays glowing faintly in the distance. Memories of the life we were leaving behind pushed us forward.
Eddie was asleep again. His head leaned against the cool glass of the window. Occasionally Reed would hit a bump in the road and I could hear the dull smack of Eddie’s head as it bounced against the glass. A few times he woke up enough to mutter something angrily to Reed. Reed would just chuckle without responding, and Eddie would drift back to sleep.
I felt safe.
Sitting between Reed and Eddie, even as the truck barreled down the deserted highway, I finally felt like I could breathe. Reed’s hand had found its way to my knee, his fingers mindlessly tapping and rubbing as he drove in silence. His touch felt good.
Ever since I had told them about Jude and the key, Reed had sunk into his thoughts. The decision to head to Cannon Beach had been easy. I knew he wasn’t worrying about that. Something else ate at his mind.
“Millie?” His voice was quiet, his eyes glancing to make sure Eddie was still asleep. Eddie confirmed with a light snore. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, of course.”
Reed cleared his throat. I could barely see his silhouette in the darkness. The headlights cast a dim glow on his face, though not enough to make out any expressions he might have been making. “Jude. Were you two −”
“No!” I shook my head. This had been the thought eating at Reed the entire ride? “Jude was a guard.”
“Was he…” Reed swallowed hard. “Was he the guard that −”
“No, Reed. No.” I reached over and laid my hand on top of his. “Jude is… was a friend. The first time I ever even met him face to face in the light was at the prison today.”
“I thought guards weren’t supposed to be friends with the inmates.” I didn’t like the sound of Reed’s voice. It sounded too much like he didn’t believe me.
“You’re right.” I reached my hand up to his face, turning it enough to look at me. I couldn’t see him, but I knew he watched me in the dark. “But I am telling the truth. Jude was a friend. Almost like a brother. He may have broken some rules by talking to me as much as he did, but there wasn’t anything more. I promise.”
I couldn’t understand why Reed was acting so strange.
Reed squeezed my hand. “Okay,” he sighed. “Okay. I’m sorry. I just… I can’t shake what you had said, about that other guard. I hate the idea that he wanted to hurt you. That he… that he even did what he did. People get busted for a lot less than that every day. And he didn’t even get a wrist slap. What kind of justice is that?”
“From what I have been learning,” I said quietly, “it’s the exact kind of justice the Nation wants.”
Reed lifted my hand and kissed it again. “Try to sleep,” he said, resting his hand back on my knee. I nodded, more to myself than to him. Leaning my head on his shoulder, I let my eyes shut and carry me off into sleep.
| | |
I watched the Prison. Its dark stone walls rose high into the overcast sky. There was no one around. I stood alone, staring up at the menacing walls topped with razor wire. Something inside me made me want to run away, to get as far from the Prison as I possibly could. I tried to turn. I tried to run. Instead, I felt my body pulled towards the waiting door.
I didn’t want to go in. The walls darkened, angry at me for rejecting them. The sky rolled with clouds. I held my breath. In the silence I faintly began to hear the rhythm of the life I had left. The heavy beat of the laundry room throbbed slow and deep, rumbling the earth with every throb. The faint shuffled feet of life inside. The perfectly timed angry shout, the dull thump of a fist making contact, the matching crescendo of guard’s boots. The light sobs like a descant of a broken woman.
Tears stung my eyes as the music of the prison enveloped me. It called to me. It reminded me of where I had come from, of who I truly was. It beckoned the fog to return me to my coming insanity.
I tried to wipe the tears from my cold cheeks, but my hands wouldn’t respond. They hung limply at my side, my fingertips tapping along with the music. My parents were in there. Orrin was in there. Maria. So many people, all were locked away inside those walls. Why did I deserve to be outside?
The music suddenly stopped. Silence suffocated me for a moment before the air was filled with the ear shattering alarm of lights out. It seemed to ring forever, filling the air around me in its engulfing vibrations.
As it died out, I heard someone move behind me. The feel of cold metal on my wrists froze my breath mid gasp. The cuffs locked into place, painfully pulling my arms behind my body.
He laughed. Stepping around me, I could see his face, smugly smiling.
“Welcome home,” he said in a voice too smooth. He leaned in, his hot breath on my face. I felt tears sting my eyes. “I got you.” His lips closed the gap, painfully crushing down on mine before I could scream.
The fog swallowed me alive.
| | |
My eyes snapped open.
I could feel the sting of tears still in my tired eyes. Reaching up, I lightly wiped away the stray tear that had trickled down my cheek. My head still rested on Reed’s shoulder, his hand still lightly holding my knee.
I covered the tears, pretending to rub sleep from my eyes. As I sat up, I could see the rays of sun that were rising over the earth. Carl was behind me. He was lost somewhere in his own insanity, without any idea that I was gone. Though he haunted my dreams, I knew I would never see him again. I still shook, regardless. The feel of his lips crushing against mine left a lingering sting.
I looked out the window. We were driving past a cit
y, its tall buildings glittering in the dawn.
“Where are we?” I asked.
Reed glanced over to the city. A river ran past it, reflecting the sun and the truck’s headlights in its slow moving surface. There were barely any lights on in the city. It looked fast asleep, as if it never planned to wake back up.
“Portland,” he said, his voice distant.
“It’s beautiful,” I said.
“Yeah, it is. But we don’t want to stop in it. The cities… most aren’t safe now.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. Of all places, the cities were supposed to be the safest. They were supposed to be filled with loyal citizens, patrols of the Nation’s officers keeping the roads clean and safe as life continued and thrived. My stomach tightened at the words that had been hammered into my mind my entire life.
Reed lifted his hand from my leg and rubbed his eyes. He had been driving all night, with no break, and the exhaustion was obvious on his face. “The cities are where the people are. Too many people.Too many… enforcers.”
“Too many arrests,” Eddie muttered.
I turned and looked at him. His head leaned against the window, his eyes barely cracked open as they watched the passing city. He didn’t say anything else.
We rumbled down the road, leaving Portland behind us. Cars would pass occasionally, always covered in rust and rumbling as if any moment they planned to give up and crumble. Every time one would pass, we held our breath. We shared the unspoken fear that one of the passing cars would turn on hidden flashing lights and pull us over. We didn’t need to share the fear out loud. The cab would just fall silent until the passing car disappeared into the dark.
The truck started to sputter. Mumbling to himself, Reed glanced down at the gas gauge. It sat flat on the red line.
“We need some gas, and quick,” he said. I could hear the rising nerves in his voice.
At that moment, as if called into existence, a gas station emerged from behind a thick gathering of trees. Eddie sat up, his eyes scanning the surroundings as Reed pulled the truck alongside the gas pump. With a single nod to each other, they both climbed out before the engine had even quieted. I followed Reed, staying close to his side as we all scanned the station.
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