Finally, at the dining hall one night, I call him out on it. The place is packed, and he’s sitting with Rodrigo eating a hamburger on the other side of the room. I march to him while he’s mid-bite and ask, “Are you stalking me?”
People sitting nearby turn to look, but I don’t care.
“Hi to you too,” Rodrigo says.
Ben smiles. “What are you talking about? We’re just eating burgers, Megan.”
He looks to Rodrigo, who smirks. “Yeah. We were here first, I believe.”
I ball my hands into fists to avoid reaching over and smacking the burgers out of their hands.
Ignoring Rod, I point at Ben. “I don’t know what you’re up to, but whatever it is, stop.”
“I’m not up to anything. Just eating my dinner.” He lifts the greasy mess to his face and stares at me as he takes a giant bite.
I bend over the table and talk in his face as he chews and swallows, his dumb, greasy grin peeking through his beard. “Don’t think I don’t notice that you’re everywhere I am.”
Rodrigo leans toward me. “Sounds to me like you’re stalking him, Meg.”
Without taking my eyes off of Ben, I say, “Fuck you, Rod.”
Rod backs off, laughing, as Ben smiles up at me. “First of all, this is a free country and I go to school here. I’m allowed to enjoy my campus.”
“I didn’t say—”
He holds a finger up to my mouth. “Shh.”
“Don’t you shush me, you—”
“And second, I thought you wanted this over, Megan. I’m honoring your wish. You’re the one who came stomping over here interrupting our meal.”
I grit my teeth at his snooty tone. “So sorry, your highnesses, I must have forgotten that assholes need to eat too. Please,” I swoop my arms over the table, “enjoy the rest of your meal.” I growl and march away, but they laugh behind me. Jerks.
***
Later, restless from my exchange with Ben, I knock on room four. Pooja and Rocco are studying. They’ve moved the furniture around so that Frank’s side of the room is absorbed into Rocco’s. The beds are pushed together, and various workout equipment lines the opposite wall. Rocco didn’t want to be alone in the room he shared with Frank and Pooja didn’t want to be in room one where everything happened, so they sort of moved in together. I’m jealous at the familiarity and ease with how they live. Like they’ve known each other forever.
Even though Rocco is a bodybuilder, giant and imposing, he’s soft as a teddy bear with Pooja. Tonight she’s perched on the bed, looking beautiful even though she’s in sweats with her thick, black hair in a ponytail. “I guess you need her?” He’s used to people needing Pooja.
I nod. “Just for a minute?”
“I need a break from studying anyway.” He shuts his books and touches my shoulder as he passes. With his long, dark hair and his square jaw, those giant traps framing his neck, just the sight of Rocco makes my heart palpitate.
When he leaves, I turn to Pooja. “Do you know how hot your boyfriend is?”
“I do. I’m a lucky woman.”
“How’s he doing?” We all know of Rocco’s struggle with the loss of Frank. Pooja blames herself for what happened. Frank was trying to save her from her ex-boyfriend when he got shot.
“He’s…” She looks past me to the door he just stepped through. “Not great. I’m trying.” She pats the bed next to her, tossing her books onto her desk. “Tell me about you. What’s up?”
I sigh. “You have enough to deal with, with Roc, and… is there a trial date yet?”
She shakes her head. “Not yet. I’d rather not talk about that now. I’d like to hear about you.”
I study her face but know that if she didn’t want to talk to me, she would tell me so. I sit on the bed next to her and cross my legs under me. “It’s nothing.”
“Don’t tell me that. Your colors are all over the room.”
I plop my chin between my hands then fidget and grab my hair from the roots. Groaning from the self-inflicted pain makes me feel better. “Everything’s a mess, Pooj. Do you know the whole thing about Ben’s ninety-fiver?”
“Carly, right? The ACME match I met at The Study?”
“Yeah, Carly,” I snort.
“Do you know her?”
“Sort of. But the thing is, she’s not Ben’s ninety-fiver.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I am.”
Pooja raises her eyebrows. I’ve managed to confuse the psychic. “What do you mean?”
“I’m his ninety-fiver. When we were at the ACME thing, I found out and hid it from him. Carly is one of the ACME grad students. I told her I wasn’t interested in Ben. She must have stolen my questionnaire or something.”
Pooja’s jaw drops. “Are you serious?”
“Yep.”
“I don’t know if I’m more fascinated by the craziness of Carly or that you and Ben matched almost perfectly.”
“It’s pretty amazing. All of it.” I hide my face in my hands and groan again.
She pushes my hair over my ears. “What’s wrong, Megan? Don’t you like Ben?”
“I do.”
“So tell him the truth—that you are his match.” She always makes everything seem so simple.
“I can’t.” I lift my head to look into her big, dark eyes.
“But why not? I know you two are having sex.”
I gasp. “Who told you?”
“Nobody. I just knew. I confronted Ben, and he didn’t deny it.”
I believe Pooja. She never lies and she does pick up on things. “I told him it’s over. That I want to end the sex and… whatever we are doing. I was kind of mean to him. But he’s not giving up, and now he’s playing a cat and mouse game with me. I don’t know how to handle it.”
Pooja’s frozen, staring at me like I should be in a straightjacket. She lifts her palms to the sky. “You like him, you’re having sex with him, and he likes you. So what’s the problem?”
I hop off the bed and pace. “The problem is he already dumped me once for Juliet. What would it say about me if I let him take me as the consolation prize?”
Pooja shakes her head and holds out her hand to stop me from talking. “Why do you think you’d be the consolation? I mean, any guy you date in college probably has a history. His happens to be with Juliet, but it didn’t work out for them. That doesn’t make you second place; it just makes you a later first place.”
Huh. “It’s just that Juliet is—”
“Gorgeous, amazing. Same as you.”
I smile, but I know she’s just being nice.
“She’s also in love with Chase.” Pooja studies me. “You’re lying to yourself about Juliet. I can see it. You’re using her for an excuse. Why, Megan?”
“What do you mean?”
Her eyes travel over my face, my body, then she points at me. “It’s not Juliet. Maybe there’s ego in there, pride, but there’s something else.”
“I think you’re overshooting. I’m jealous, a little bitter still, nervous I’ll never live up to her—”
“No. That’s not it. I’ll let you off the hook for now since you don’t seem ready to face the truth yet, if you tell me something. That letter from the day you passed out. It was addressed to ‘Amelia.’”
I knew this was coming. “Yes. Megan’s my middle name.”
“Who was the letter from?”
I’m saved from the question when the door flies open and Chase barges in. “Oh, sorry! Hey, Meg,” he says to me. “I just wanted to ask Pooja’s advice on something Juliet-related. It can wait.”
“That’s okay. I’m going to go to bed. She’s all yours.” I wonder how Pooja deals with all of us needing her constantly. Between Frank’s death and the residual drama, we never leave her alone.
“We’re not done,” Pooja yells after me. “Honesty. Be honest.”
Yeah, yeah, I think, as I scoot out of room four to my room next door.
Chapter Thirteen
Ben
I’m enjoying Juliet’s Make Megan Love Me Project, which is basically to stay in Meg’s face and await further instruction from Jules. When Meg accused me of stalking her in the cafeteria, I’d wanted to pinch her nose. She was so damn cute. As fun as it is keeping an eye on her, it’s also exhausting. She rarely stops.
All week she tries to dodge me, and then as the weekend approaches, she ups her game. Jules hunts me down with intel that Megan is hanging out with Dave at the Student Center that night. I’m sure Megan told Juliet knowing it would get back to me, the little sneak.
“Jules, you told me this was going to work. What am I supposed to do now? You girls talk about Dave like he’s heaven-sent.”
Juliet smirks. “Where’s your confidence? You think Megan would want Dave over you? She’s totally doing this to make you jealous. Don’t you see?”
Maybe she’s right. “So what do I do?”
I look to my expert manipulator for advice. She paces my little dorm room, twirling her long, dark hair around a slender finger as I wait for my instructions.
She freezes and points to me. “You call Carly.”
I shake my head. “The psycho? Yeah, I don’t think so.”
“Think long term goal, Ben. This is what we call ‘the chase.’” Juliet’s big eyes sparkle with excitement. She loves a plan, she loves love, and a plan for love is probably up there on her list of Fun Things to Do. “Carly doesn’t know that we know that she’s psycho. You ask her to meet you for coffee in the Student Center, and you stake out Dave and Megan. It will drive Megan insane. A, because she knows Carly’s nuts, B, because she’ll be really super jealous, and C, because she’ll realize you’re stalking her date with SFD.”
“SFD?”
“Second Floor Dave.” She shakes her head. “Duh.”
“Geez, now we’re using code names? I’m getting a headache, Sparky.”
“I’m not going to be ‘Sparky,’” Juliet scoffs. “How about Butterfly? Or… Ladybug.”
“So you’re Ladybug, and douchebag is SFD. And I’m Sir Insane. Got it.” I smirk and consider the plan. I’m not convinced I want to provoke a crazy lady, that is, besides the one standing in front of me. “What if Carly is really psycho? How do I get out?”
Jules and I plan an escape involving text messages and family emergencies, and she hands me the phone. “Text her.” She juts a hip and waits.
I tap out a text.
Hey C, How about a cup of coffee tonight? Come get me, room six, Sheridan.
“What time?” I ask Jules.
“I think Megan told Dave seven.”
I add it to the text and hit “send.” God help me.
I plop down on my bed. “Why is this so hard?” I groan as I hide my face with my hands. “And I thought you were complicated.”
Jules moves my hands off my face and stares down at me. “What fun is easy, Benjamin?” She kisses my nose and disappears.
As the seven o’clock hour approaches, I head to the shower just as Megan’s leaving her room on the way to hers. We cross in the hallway, and as we pass each other, I notice her check me out. “See something you like, Meg?”
She smirks. “Seen it all before. Excuse me.” She twists around me, and I turn to watch her walk away. “I feel you looking at me.”
When she spins to catch me, I grin. “Just enjoying the view.” Her white robe is short; her hair is up off her shoulders. She looks like an angel.
“You keep enjoying that view and you’ll be viewing a restraining order. Stop following me around campus.”
I keep my grin. “Okay.”
She lifts her eyebrows. “Okay?”
I love that she sounds more disappointed than skeptical. “Yep. Not that I’m admitting I follow you, but tonight, I have a date. With my ninety-fiver.” I say it with confidence, like I’m not scared to death crazy-ass Carly will chop me to pieces and scatter me over the quad.
Meg flushes red, which I’m learning means she’s either angry or embarrassed. I’m guessing angry in this situation.
“Well, great for you. I have a date too. Second Floor Dave.” She smiles sweetly as I clench my fists.
Touché, angel. “Great,” I squeak. “Maybe he’ll sing to you.”
“Let’s hope.” She fake smiles at me and wiggles her fingers. “See ya.”
Megan turns and pushes the door to the ladies’ room open. I want to run after her, but I don’t. I maintain my cool. Long term goal, I remind myself.
Megan
“What are you doing?” Maggie sits on my bed, locking me in her death stare, as I put on my makeup.
I hold up the tube in my hand. “Lip gloss.”
“You know what I mean. I thought after that scene you pulled at The Study that you like Ben. What are you doing going out with Dave?” Maggie’s shoulders sag as she shakes her head and waits for my answer. Maybe she’s figured out Ben and I have something going on, even if she doesn’t know the extent of it.
I turn around to face her. “I’m expanding my horizons. You know how incestuous this floor is. I can’t deal. I’m sick of Ben; I’m sick of everyone. Dave’s a new face.”
Maggie sighs. “I know I’m not Pooja, but even I can tell you’re lying. You’re playing games. With both of them.”
Maggie scoots over, and I hop on the bed next to her. “I’m just… I don’t know. Mad, I guess. Mad at myself, mad at Ben. I need to get out a little.”
“Why Dave? You know it will make Ben jealous.” She grabs the gloss out of my hand. “Game playing isn’t healthy.”
“Maybe Ben’s the one playing games. He’s going out with his ninety-fiver tonight. Obviously, he doesn’t care either.”
“Oh stop, Meg. Of course he cares. Can’t you pick up this plot? Your situation is turning into a bad romance novel.”
A knock on the door interrupts us. Maggie jumps out of my bed and grabs her coat and backpack. “I’m not going to stick around to watch this shit show.”
She opens the door to Dave. With a long, exaggerated sigh, she pushes past him. “Excuse me,” she grunts.
He moves out of her way and watches her walk down the hall. Then he turns his attention back to me, and I smile. “She’s pissy tonight,” I say.
Dave nods. “I did body check her at the bar. How are you?”
I shrug and grab my stuff. “I’m feeling good, Dave.”
When I step into the hallway, Carly and Ben are a few feet away, head to head in conversation. Ben looks amazing in his jeans and a button down. His hair is floppy and his beard is trimmed, and his shoulders… oh, his shoulders… so broad. I love grabbing his shoulders when…
Stop, I tell myself as I turn to Dave. “Wanna go goof around? Get some coffee?” He looks cute too, in a different way. He’s layered, like me. A T-shirt peeks out from the neck of his shirt. I’d opted for my jeans, a thin sweater over a shirt and tank, and my flat boots.
“Sure.” He smiles and points at me. “You’re not going to pass out on me are you?” Dave’s eyes do the twinkle thing.
“I’ll try to stay conscious.” I look to Ben and Carly. He’s smiling at something she’s saying. When he catches my eye, I smirk then turn back to Dave. I hate boys.
I try to enjoy my walk across the lot with Dave. We gossip about the dorm, and I tell him how the girls think everyone on the second floor is mysterious. He tells me how everyone in the basement is well-known and respected. I assume it’s because of the shooting in November and Juliet’s press conference after that succeeded in getting us all back into the dorm.
As we approach the doors to the Student Center, I’m greeted with the sound of obnoxious giggling. I glance back. Carly and Ben are following us. Great.
Dave holds the door for them. “I guess we had the same idea.”
I cross my arms and stare at Ben. “Yeah, imagine that.” Sarcasm drips from my words.
Ben shrugs, and Carly pulls him away. “Let’s go check out the game room,” she says. When she ca
tches my eye, her smile turns to a scowl. You better run, you crazy wacko.
When the dynamic duo disappears, I focus on Second Floor Dave. I ask him about his band. He tells me about their gigs and plans as we wait in line until, finally, we order our coffee. He pays for me, which is completely sweet, and leads me to a table in the common area. As we talk, it becomes clear that Dave has no interest in me romantically, which I’m perfectly fine with. Even though he’s cute, my hormones are in sleep mode, and the two of us move securely into the “friend zone.”
Soon though, that obnoxious giggling starts again, and I know Ben and the ACME bitch are nearby. I try to ignore it and stay focused on Dave. “So I hear you date a lot.” I know it’s kind of rude, but what the hell.
Dave laughs. “Yeah, that’s false, but I don’t expect you to believe that.”
“I believe you. Tell me more.”
Dave leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. “Let’s just say that I went a little crazy the first couple of days I was here, and unfortunately, the reputation stuck.”
Huh. So Second Floor Dave is misunderstood. “I get that. I think we all went crazy that first week. I certainly did.” I remember my September movie date with Ben. “That sucks those rumors started.”
Dave’s crazy gorgeous eyes glaze over. “I don’t care too much. Maybe it helps the band—who knows. But I haven’t been with anyone since September.” He looks at me and holds a finger over his lips. “Shh. Don’t tell.”
“Not even groupies?”
He lifts his eyebrows. “Especially not groupies.”
“What a waste. Why don’t you find a girlfriend?”
“The only girl I’m interested in has a boyfriend.”
“You should go for it anyway. He can’t be as good as you. You’re in a band and you’re cute. That guy is toast.” I mean my words. Who can compete with Dave? He’s the whole package. Still I’d take Ben…
Dave smiles, and we both turn our heads toward the giggling coming from the game room. Ugh. I can’t believe Carly stole my identity. The more she giggles, the less I can tolerate it. Finally, I ask Dave, “Can you excuse me for a second?”
I follow the horrendous sound to the game room, the pride of the Student Center. Old school video games and pinball machines fill the room with noise like an 80’s arcade. Ben and Carly lean against a foosball table, drinking giant sodas and smiling. Her hip is touching his. They look like they are having fun, which pisses me off even more than the giggling. I glare at Ben.
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