The Wild in her Eyes

by Karina Giörtz

  “You heard him,” Maude muttered, grabbing her sleeve and dragging her along, causing her to stumble backward the entire way, unable to commit to this act of cowardice she was being sentenced to for the sake of her own safety.

  “He’s alright, don’t you think? Smalls? He’s just off reminding everyone he’s never bothered by any rules. It’s just the sort of pigheaded thing he’d do,” she rambled, determined to feed her mind whatever rubbish it needed to believe.

  “It’s Sawyer. He’s always alright. It’s what he’s best at,” Maude assured her.

  “Well, right after getting into trouble,” said, much to Annis’s chagrin. “But, then he’s always great at getting out of it. So maybe the two are tied.”

  “I’m sure you’re right,” Annis said unconvincingly.

  The women were a few feet away from their cabin, just seconds from stepping inside, when Fin growled. They stopped in unison. “What do we do?” Annis hissed, her instincts telling her to turn back. But that would only mean more running, and she was done with that. She was ready to face whatever was coming for her.

  Maude glanced back and forth between the door and the wolf. “I say we push the door open and let Fin at whatever is behind it.”

  Mabel nodded with great enthusiasm, though Annis suspected nerves were also to blame for the erratic way her head was bobbing up and down. “I second that.”

  “William has a gun,” Annis whispered. “What if he’s standing there, ready to shoot? He’ll kill Fin!”

  “No way,” Maude insisted. “He’ll be expecting a person. His aim will be off, and Fin will be too fast for him to correct it.”

  Annis was sick with the thought, but Fin seemed eager for the job and she had no better ideas than to let him do what wolves did best, go for the kill.

  “Alright,” she breathed, her gaze moving to the door. “Do it.”

  It was as though Fin understood perfectly. He watched with a calculating eye as Maude reached for the handle in slow motion, gripping it hard and sliding the door open in one swift swoop at the exact moment that Fin leapt forward, darting inside their cabin, launching himself at whatever was lying in wait.

  Annis and the twins waited, ears strained. She expected screams, the sounds of a scuffle, or barking, but none came.

  Slowly, huddled together, they took small, hesitant steps toward the door. The closer they got, the more Annis could make out Fin’s low but cautious growl. She understood that he didn’t know how to proceed. Then they reached the doorway and Annis understood why.

  “Sawyer.” His name escaped her mouth on a mere breath. “No.”

  “To be fair,” he said, sounding casual despite the gun William held pressed to his temple, “I was right. The bastard was in here, hiding. Hoping to snatch you, I’m assuming.” He shrugged. “Unless of course, you were the decoy all along and I was the one he truly wanted. Which is likely, if you think about it.”

  “Shut up,” William snapped, jerking Sawyer by his shoulder with his free hand. “I told you, I’m not here to play your stupid games.”

  “Let him go,” Annis said, surprising even herself with the strength and sheer volume of her demand. “Let him go unharmed and I’ll leave with you. Right now. I won’t fight you. I won’t call for help.”

  “No!” Mabel gasped.

  “She’s not going anywhere with anyone,” Sawyer cut in with no remnant of his previously carefree attitude. “And she doesn’t need to call for help because there’s plenty right here. Annis may not fight you. But believe me when I say that we will.”

  “No one will fight,” Annis insisted. “No one will fight because no one will get hurt on my account. Not over money, and that’s all this is for. But that family fortune attached to my name is precisely why I’m the only one here he won’t harm. Anything happens to me and he loses every chance of ever getting his hands on my inheritance.”

  “Annis,” Maude hissed under her breath. “You can’t be serious. He’s not just going to take you home and leave you in peace.”

  “Of course not,” Annis said, her eyes filled with hatred as she stared down the man who was killing her but could never put her out of her misery. “He’ll lock me up. I’m a murderer, after all. An unstable girl with a broken mind, a threat to herself and others. It’ll be prison, or an asylum, but the truth is, it’ll be all the same to me. I’m already caged by what he’s done, the memories of his terrors haunting me, always with me. The empty stare of my mother as she fell, lifeless, to the floor. My father’s death at the docks and wondering if he suffered. Or if it was really as sudden for him as it was for us. And Annis, my Annis, who gave her life to save mine. A gift so grand the guilt of it makes it impossible for me to breathe sometimes.” She paused, a painful cinching around her lungs as she took in air. “I’ll never be free. And I’m done pretending I could be.”

  “You don’t mean that,” Mabel whispered, dread pooling in her eyes.

  “I do.” Annis lowered her gaze to meet Sawyer’s, silently pleading with him to give up the fight on her behalf and save himself.

  His stare turned cold. His stubborn streak flared, made visible in the way his jaw tightened and his lips pressed together into a thin line that turned white around the edges. Silence spread around the small cabin like humidity, making it uncomfortable to breathe or move.

  William seemed to be the only one unbothered. He was biding his time, obviously certain the tide was changing in his favor. Annis was doing all the work for him, convincing the others to step out of his way, to let them walk out together.

  “Fine,” Sawyer said at last, his defeat ringing in Annis’s ears. “If this is what you want.”

  Slowly, William shifted the barrel of his gun away from Sawyer and toward Annis. “I’m glad to see you’re making better choices now, Emmeline,” he said with a bite in his words. “Too bad you couldn’t see reason the night you left poor Annis alone to die.”

  “It won’t work,” she told him, her eyes narrowed and her shoulders squared. “Your lies, your guilt. The evil you spew touches only yourself. Say what you want. Treat me as you wish, but don’t for a second think that I see the world as you spin it, that I believe the twisted words you try to wrap me in. I don’t. I never will because I’ve learned far too much truth to ever be blind to it again.” She stepped forward, out of the safety she felt standing nestled between the sisters. “We should hurry. They already know Sawyer’s missing. Won’t be long ‘til they come looking here.”

  William held his gun even with her eyes. She stared straight down the pitch of his barrel and said, “Lead the way.”

  Turning on her heel, she allowed herself a brief moment of unyielding fear, knowing he was the sort of coward who would shoot her in the back. She swallowed it down and marched onward, never even glancing at the sisters or Sawyer as she bid them a silent adieu.

  She had no plan. She’d had one, a small one, but it had run its course the moment William had shifted his weapon from Sawyer to her, and now that she was out of the cabin, alone with him, her friends out of his grasp, her plan was complete. Shame swirled at the pit of her stomach at the small part of her that secretly hoped their paths would cross with the likes of Poppy, or Sequoyah, or anyone who would override her efforts to be selfless and courageous. The greater part of her, however, knew they wouldn’t encounter anyone because she saw to it that they took the path least traveled. They walked the darkened side of the train, hidden in the shadows while moving in hurried silence along the tracks toward the caboose, which, by now, would be abandoned as everyone searched for Sawyer.

  They were seconds out from being caught, but seconds was all she needed to clear the train and cross the small opening between the tracks into the woods beyond. Once they made it past the tree line, there would be no tracking them. This time, they wouldn’t have Fin to find her. William was as of yet unaware, but the wolf was with them. Fin trailed several feet behind, keeping a safe distance but never falling so far behind that she was out of hi
s sight. She could hear the soft pad of paws moving over the ground, nearly inaudible. If it hadn’t been for the months that she’d spent acclimating herself to the quiet rhythm with which he moved, she’d never have been able to detect it herself. She found solace in knowing he was with her, walking this last stretch of her journey. She wasn’t alone.

  “Hope you don’t think you can lead me astray in these woods,” William huffed, struggling to move over the uneven forest floor in the dark of night.

  “You’ve been astray since before I ever knew you, William,” she responded calmly. The woods no longer held anything to fear for her. On the contrary, there was a sense of coming home in wandering deeper into the trees, feeling the soft leaves of young branches brush against her skin. She tilted her head back, looking at the sky. Patches of deep blue sprinkled with glittering stars peeked through the treetops. “But for the sake of our travels, the North Star is just overhead,” she said, pointing at the brightest light amid the fairy-dusted ceiling of night. “See?”

  “I know how to keep direction,” he snarled. “Just keep your eyes moving forward and don’t try anything stupid.”

  Annis bit her tongue. The temptation to respond with a slew of insults nearly burst from her lips. Instead, she shifted her focus to Finian, still moving in their shadows, and the sounds of nocturnal life all around them. Despite these noises, she also heard an aching silence. She and William moved swiftly but had not covered so much ground that she wouldn’t have heard the commotion when news spread of her departure. But she heard nothing. She told herself it was better this way, better for them not to be panicked and dashing off after her. Better for everyone to just simply accept what was. But her heart failed to feel the comfort in realizing even Sequoyah had given up for good this time this time. He had no choice, of course. Neither of them did. She’d known this from the start and had tried to remind herself of it over and over during the course of their courtship, but she’d failed to heed her own warnings. She’d done the one thing she’d sworn not to. She’d fallen in love with a boy whose future she would never see. Tears stung her eyes, but she refused to give in to the sob striking her chest and suffocating her heart. The one thing she wanted more than anything to offer to Sequoyah was being held captive by the man she detested most in the world—or so he believed.

  Annis knew better. What William wanted, he would never get. Annis no longer cared what it cost her. She had nothing left that she couldn’t bear to lose. She took a breath, closed her eyes, and stopped. They’d gone far enough.

  “What are you doing?” William called out from behind. “Why are we stopping?”

  “Because we’ve no further to go,” she answered simply.

  “I beg to differ.” He moved in closer, pressing the barrel of his gun to her shoulder. She responded by leaning all of her weight against it.

  “Do it,” she said. “Shoot me.”

  “What?” Even through his anger, confusion was swimming to the surface.

  “Shoot me. I’m all there’s left here. No one else around to bully or use to blackmail me. Only us. You and me. And I’m no longer following your orders. So,” she paused, slowly turning around to face him, letting the gun slide over her heart. “Let me go or shoot me. But, either way, you’re going forward without me.”

  “Think I won’t just swing you over my shoulder and carry you if I need to?” he roared.

  “I think you’ll try,” she said. “But I know you’ll fail if you do. I’m not the same girl you remember, William. I’m not the same girl you once could have dragged home with one ferocious glare. I’m not her. Not anymore. And you’re to blame. You made me an opponent you can’t beat. Don’t you see? There’s nothing you can take from me I won’t willingly give, including my own life. But you can’t take the money, can you? Not here. Not tonight. Not ever.”

  “We’ll see about that.” He lunged for her, his hands gripping her throat and his gun tumbling to the ground.

  “You really think you’re ready to die tonight? Think it’s that easy? Maybe when death comes in a bullet, fast and painless. But there are other ways to kill you, Emmeline. Ways that could take days to end you. And by then I’ll have all I need from you to get what I deserve.”

  Annis glared back at him, her eyes wide. She refused to let them even blink, not wanting him to mistake any small move as an indication of fear. She felt none. All she knew was the fire burning within her, promising her victory even if it came at the expense of her last breath. She would have it. She would go on her own terms, by her own choice, and William would lose.

  Though blood rushed in Annis’s ears, drowning out all other sound, she wasn’t surprised when William’s eyes lit up with shock and he fell forward. And then she saw Fin on William’s back, his claws digging into the man’s torso and his teeth piercing his shoulder flesh, inches from William’s throat. Annis saw fear flash in William’s eyes but he quickly recovered, wrestling the wolf from his back. He dropped to the ground and searched for the gun he’d dropped.

  “Fin! No!” Annis shouted, knowing she had only seconds to get him to safety before bullets fired. “Go home! Please! Go home, Fin!” But the wolf wouldn’t listen and instead launched another attack, tackling William to the ground. Jaws wide, Fin went straight for the man’s head. But William was no small man, and he fought well. Too well.

  Annis scrambled over the uneven ground, desperate to join the fight and save her friend. Even as fangs flew past her face, she knew Fin would never harm her, would never mistake her for his target. With that trust she reached between them, trying to pry the wolf from the real beast, but it was to no avail. Fin and William continued their battle. The wolf slammed his body into Annis’s side to throw her from their fight and out of harm’s way.

  She screamed, helplessly begging Finian to let go, to release and retreat, but Fin refused. Even as William was gaining ground in their battle, landing a punch to the wolf’s hip and making him squeal in pain, Finian continued to tear at him. Annis couldn’t bear to stand by. She tackled them a second time, this time throwing herself entirely between them and covering William with her body as much as she could to shield him from the wolf’s attack. Fin retreated instantly and began pacing back and forth, anxiously waiting for Annis to clear his path so that he could resume his fight.

  William’s body felt limp and weak beneath Annis’s. For a moment, she wondered if Fin had dealt him wounds that he wouldn’t recover from. Slowly, cautiously, she peeled herself up. She held out her hands to ward off the wolf.

  “He’s not worth it, Fin,” she whispered, pleading with him. “He’s not worth becoming the evil he is. You’re not a killer. You’re a hunter. The two are different, Fin. And you mustn’t forget. You forget, and the world around you will forget. They’ll see a beast. Unless you show them your grace. Your mercy. Your wonderful brave heart. You show them the wolf, Fin. Always show them the wolf.”

  Gradually, she put more distance between herself and William, who remained a shallow breathing lump on the ground, and moved in Fin’s direction until she was kneeling before him, pressing her face to his forehead.

  “I know you don’t understand, but I don’t need saving anymore,” she whispered. “I’m not afraid of anything he might do to me. But I’m terrified of what he might do to you. Even if the thing he does to you is die at your efforts. The only way he can hurt me is by hurting you. Please, go home. Be safe.” The wolf shuddered under her embrace and she knew in her soul that he understood what she was asking.

  Slowly, she straightened up, and together they began to walk, leaving William to rest where he lay. Annis wouldn’t be long. Just a few more steps and she would feel confident that Fin was safe, back in the shadows, standing down despite his every instinct to attack.

  And then, all at once, noise exploded around her. She heard the sounds of ruffling leaves up ahead as familiar faces became visible, their bodies moving quickly. No one said a word as they marched in unison through the dark, on a mission to ret
rieve what William had taken.

  Behind her, she heard a thud in the dirt, and then another, as William rose to his knees, struggling to gain control of his battered body. Then Fin, growling, barking, and launching himself in front of her, shielded her from something she couldn’t see. And she couldn’t turn to look. Her wide eyes were glued to Sawyer, who broke from the pack of familiar faces and tumbled himself to the ground, rolling over until he came to a stop behind her.

  Annis watched as all the pieces fell together. William’s drawn gun. The thunderous crash of a freed bullet, flying straight for Fin. Sawyer, throwing himself in front of it. Sawyer, catching the piece of lead for himself and falling to the ground in a heart wrenching thud. And then the sound of another bullet releasing.

  Confusion swarmed Annis as she watched William sink to his knees, a look of surprise still etched in his face like the one her mother had worn when she died. Sounds overwhelmed her senses and everything around her went blank. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t hear. She could hardly see through the blur of tears shrouding her eyes. Though they were silent to her, the screams coming from her mouth left her lungs burning raw. Her gut twisted and ached with the pull of a hundred knives dragging their way back and forth over her insides.

  Sawyer was gone.

  Men in blue uniforms were spilling in from all around, centering on William, the man they’d shot and killed. Even as the strength of familiar arms lifted her from the dirt, her body gave way to the pain, her heart drowned in the dull cold ache of death, and her eyes drew only blackness.

  Chapter Twenty

  THE STORM

  When Annis awoke, it was to the comfort of the sounds of the train humming over the tracks, with the occasional squeak as the rails hugged at a curve and made a tight turn before straightening out again.

  For one blissful second, her mind entertained the possibility that she’d just woken up from a terrible dream. That every last horrible second of the past twenty-four hours was only a nightmare. Then the creak in her weary bones and the pain of her bruised flesh made the lie impossible to believe.