by Lee Davidson
The sun is up. Meggie and I are bumping along in the back of the first ambulance. Josh lies on the gurney. Flashing lights from the truck carrying Sophie and Harper spiral through the back-door windows and the mix of sirens is deafening.
After the medics call time of death, I perform seven more blocks. The drive takes only twenty minutes, but when the doors of the steel dungeon open, I’m shrunk between the gurney and oxygen tank, convulsing.
Two nurses, one of whom I recognize from the twins’ delivery, collect Meggie when she falls out of the ambulance under the St. Mary’s Hospital Emergency sign. When Josh’s body, a mere lump under under a sky-blue sheet, is rolled by, both nurses fall to their knees on the sidewalk with Meggie in effort to comfort her, or at the very least, shield her from the nightmare. Four more stretchers follow and I force myself from the truck, cursing my lack of strength. The blue filter is barely visible when I center the translucent ball.
“Haze,” I choke.
Pull it together, pull it together, pull it together…
I’m not sure if I’m sending my thoughts to Meggie or myself when I break the connection and my useless body collapses. Somehow willing my crippled muscles to work, I pull myself up and trudge behind the nurses assisting Meggie through the sliding doors.
Before anyone is even aware of what’s happening, Meggie has an energy surge that pushes her around the medics and into the room where her three lifeless children lay together. When I reach her, she’s staring at the lumpy, ash-smudged sheets. Unimaginable hysterics follow and, running on pure adrenaline, I break what has to be Progression’s blocking record.
5. I’ve got something really special planned for you this time, Princess
The massive, twisted-limb doors bang behind me as I cut across the field like a chisel plow on steroids. Just past the bleachers, seven pairs of eyes follow me like I’m a lunatic. Their allegation couldn’t be more accurate.
“What the hell?” I roar on my way to them.
“Grant,” Jonathan says calmly when I reach him.
“They were just kids!”
“Awe, that’s sweet. This isn’t proving to be too much for Princess Grant, is it?” Billy sings in a just-got-kicked-in-the-nads, high-pitched voice.
I lunge to take care of his smile, but someone catches my arm just before it springs forward to kill Billy’s ugly face.
“Let me go!” I yell, having no luck squirming out of Lawson’s brown, stone arms.
“Grant, please calm down,” Jonathan says in an easy tone that burns through me like acid.
Billy steps back when I struggle harder against Lawson, but still smiles. “Kids your weak link, then?”
“She lost all of them,” I snarl. I’ll kill him when I get free, or whatever the equivalent of death is in this place. Lawson will have to let me go eventually.
“Show some sensitivity,” Trina says narrowly to Billy.
Billy’s grin begins to fade and I relax under Lawson’s iron grip. Lawson releases me and I lunge, but am caught within seconds.
“He’ll continue to restrain you until you’ve gained control,” Jonathan states matter-of-factly. “I would advise that you save your strength for training.”
I give up after a few minutes of struggling and Lawson hesitantly releases me. Everyone stands stiffly, presumably in preparation to break up a fight. Everyone except Jackson, that is; he’s collecting his eyeballs from the ground.
“Let us take a walk,” Jonathan says to me, and then to the others, “Hang loose for a few moments.”
I refuse to match his easy-going stride when we cut across the lawn. The tips of gray mountains just beyond the forest pierce the fog and the air seems thicker than usual.
“Facing death is never without challenges,” Jonathan finally says after we’ve stopped.
I’m only able to keep my voice level because I understand what’s done is done. “They were too young. It’s not fair.”
“When you think in Earth terms, yes.”
I shake my head and scowl at the manicured grass.
“I agree, the story is one-sided from down there,” Jonathan says and nods at the ground.
“And down there the other side is never revealed. It’s cruel.”
“It can certainly seem that way.”
“It is that way!”
“There is a grand purpose for every person who passes, as well as for every person who remains living.”
I’m seriously getting hit with this again? “Yeah, I get it. The whole ‘everything-happens-for-a-reason’ thing,” I say mockingly. “Meggie’s a train wreck. She’ll never understand.”
“Yes, I was there with her,” Jonathan says in a solemn tone.
Is he playing me for an idiot? Being at Meggie’s side the entire time, I would have seen him.
“She will,” he says a few seconds later.
“She will, what?”
“One day, these events will be vindicated.”
“Right.” My voice is fully-loaded with a mix of sarcasm and poison.
“Please realize, after a few hundred years together, their time on Earth will be nothing more than a blink.”
He doesn’t see me roll my eyes because he’s focused on the mountains again.
“In the meantime, let’s be sure Meggie continues on course.” He squeezes my shoulder before directing me back to the others. I’m too frustrated to argue.
When we reach the gawking Elites, everyone but Billy jumps into dramatic, overly enthusiastic conversations to pretend they weren’t trying to eavesdrop on Jonathan and me. The image of Meggie’s tiny, blond haired kids pop into my head. Kids. They were just kids! Whatever purpose they have could have waited another ten—or sixty—years.
Jonathan’s voice halts the Elites fake dialog. “Let’s pair off for blocking drills. Jackson, would you be our Watcher today?”
“Totally. Thanks Jonathan. That’s really great. I won’t let you down…”
Jonathan breaks Jackson’s babbling with a simple, “Thank you.”
“I’ll take Billy,” I say dryly. My line of sight is stuck on Jonathan, but I know Billy’s smiling. His expression is so loud, I can feel it vibrating through the air.
Jonathan considers, probably calculating the risks. “Billy, is that acceptable to you?”
“Absolutely,” Billy answers with too much enthusiasm.
My tongue slides over my teeth to keep my anger under control.
“May as well get it over with,” Jonathan finally says with a tired sigh. “Jackson, please see that they mind the rules.”
Jackson follows up the instructions with a slough of jabber, thanking Jonathan again. His voice mutes as Billy and I walk toward the heart of the sprawling field.
Billy doesn’t pounce when we cross the field, even though I wish he would. “How you wanna play this, Pretty-boy?” he asks when we stop.
“I’m coming at you. Block me if you want,” I say when we’ve taken our positions like Old West gunslingers.
“Works for me,” he says through his pointy teeth.
Fury rolls through me, and my limbs twitch. I charge, making his great-wall-of-chest grow bigger and bigger…
“Haze,” Billy hisses when there’s just three feet keeping me from annihilating him. Then he grins like he knows something I don’t.
The world goes black and goose bumps rise on my skin. My head fills with foreign thoughts; thoughts I would never think, yet it’s my voice, no doubt.
I stop in mid-lunge and twirl before sitting on the grass.
Yes, I twirl. A graceful, three hundred and sixty degree circle with my arms over my head—like a ballerina!
When Billy explodes into hysterics, Jackson, now just a few feet away, smacks his hand over his mouth to cover his laughter. “Sorry,” Jackson muffles to me, gaining control over his reaction.
In the distance, others are also finding humor in my display. Lawson and Evelynn are folded ove
r at the waist, not even trying to hide it like Reed is. Only Jonathan and Trina are straight-faced.
I ignore all of them and narrow my eyes at Billy. “Again!” I demand, internally shuddering by how much I must sound like Willow when she lost her marbles in training so many months ago.
“Sweet! I’ve got something really special planned for you this time, Princess.”
Acid rushes through my veins when Billy winks.
“Haze,” he says as I charge him.
A black wall of ice engulfs me. The darkness clears a millisecond later and I’m overcome with thoughts of dancing. I’ve never been a dancer. Why, I wonder? It would be so fun. I have to try it. Right this instant.
No! My voice screams to itself.
Dance! My alter ego yells back.
No!
Dance!
A deep growl escapes while my mind is stuck on No! and the blue filter I see when I’m blocking clouds my vision. I lunge at Billy.
We both groan when I crash into him and my sight snaps back to normal. Surprisingly, the giant falls over. So surprisingly, in fact, that I freeze above him. His face is worth a thousand, priceless words.
“You dance,” I snap.
His expression morphs from shocked to enraged and he pushes off the ground. “Beginner’s luck,” he says.
“I’m not a beginner,” I reply, feeling much better because A: I’ve kept him out of my head, and B: I’ve gotten to maul him. A win on all accounts.
We repeat the cycle and I run at him again, preparing my mind to fight off thoughts he sends to impersonate my own. The temperature drop, mixed with being blinded for a couple seconds, warn me he’s about to get in, but my legs are weighted and tired. I need to sit right now. If not, I’m going to fall over. My muscles have never needed a break so badly.
No! Lunge, you fool!
Sit!
Lunge!
Sit!
Lunge!
I follow the tennis match fought in my own voice. Billy and the landscape behind him turn blue, and I force myself ahead against my fraudulent will. My shoulder slams into Billy’s chest. When he doesn’t fall, I take a swing and catch him in the mouth. He returns the blow.
“Guys, guys! Come on! Stop! Hey…” Jackson rambles in the background.
“Enough!”
Billy and I drop our arms at Jonathan’s discordant voice. Then Billy takes a cheap shot at my face while I’m wondering how long the others have been circled around us.
Jonathan’s vexation keeps me from mauling Billy. Trina appears to share Jonathan’s viewpoint, whereas Evelynn and Lawson seem impressed. Jackson is clearly terrified, and Reed picks at his thumbnail like he couldn’t care any less about what has transpired.
“We’re a team,” Jonathan says, keeping his voice level while Billy and I focus on the grass and pant. “I’m disappointed that we are not behaving as such. Training is concluded.”
“But what about—” Jackson starts.
“We’re done for today,” Jonathan says firmly and turns away.
None of us move until Jonathan has gone up the curving sidewalk and through the massive doors. I push on the tender, swollen skin surrounding my left eye and wonder if it looks as purple and mutilated as Billy’s. At least Billy keeps his distance when we cut across the lawn. I wish I could say the same for Evelynn.
“Great show out there, Charmer,” she says and bumps her hip against mine. Apparently, she decided that a slippery, gold piece of material and eight-inch heels would be suitable for training. Her matching earrings have more surface area than her dress and she carries a shiny bag large enough to hold her tockets and assignment book, along with the whole get-up she’s wearing.
I stomp harder on the stone path. “It wasn’t meant to be a show.”
“That’s what was so great about it.” Her seductive wink only annoys me more.
I stop before we reach the door and turn to her. “How do you do it?”
She mocks innocence. “What?”
“Act like this. You’re an Elite, so you’re obviously good,” I say, knowing that after today’s assignment there is only one person who has mistakenly been put on this team. “How can you be so numb to everything?”
When she shrugs, the sun, which has burned off the distant fog, hits her metallic earrings and blinds me like her smile. Glint. “It’s easy after awhile. You’ll become desensitized soon.”
I shake my head, trying to imagine becoming as crass as her. “I don’t want that.”
“Of course you do. Look at you; you’re a mess. You know what you need?”
Evelynn has no idea what I need. I half expect her to say a make-over.
“A distraction,” she says instead, an inch from my ear, and blows her cinnamon-spicy breath in my face.
Full-blown angry now, I push past her like a kid in mid-tantrum. “Excuse me. I have to go deal with a broken mother who just lost all of her children.”
“Which is why you need a distraction,” she calls after me.
I stomp through the lobby and into Benson, thrusting a chair out from the table where my friends are sitting.
“Dude! What happened to your eye?” Owen sounds both disgusted and impressed.
I don’t answer. Clara, Liam, Anna, and Rigby gauge my bad attitude and leave me alone for the remainder of break. When my calimeter beeps, I dig the tarnished heart out of my pocket and say the magic word to make the gray, weathered wood floor disappear. Blurs of other Satellites surround me, plummeting to Earth like shooting stars. A gold streak bumps against me and the trilling laughter is clear even as it pushes further away. Evelynn is as blinding in motion as she is standing still.
I take a second to gain my balance after the impact of my landing. Back in the death room, Meggie is still frozen over the tiny, ash-covered bodies. When the electricity pops on, everything but her babies are kick-started back to life with a buzz. Two nurses linger in the doorway keeping watch on Meggie, but also sobbing themselves. While Meggie sits between the beds, bent over and wailing into the knees of her dirty sweat pants, I catch up on my reading.
Deflated, I drop the concrete book into my bag, massage the bridge of my nose (which isn’t tender anymore), and prepare for the nightmare ahead.
The delivery nurse I recognize from Flashbacks-o-Meggie approaches my Tragedy. She probably wants to be here about as much as I do, knowing nothing she could say or do will fix Meggie’s broken heart. “Take this,” are the only words she has to offer.
Without argument, Meggie takes the water and swallows the pill. A hysterical fit follows and the haze command is out of my mouth three seconds later. My thoughts transfer with a jolt and I sever the connection as quickly as possible.
The next hour is a blur of blocking. A priest arrives and reads a passage from the Bible. He offers a few words that I suppose are meant to comfort Meggie, but turn out to have the opposite effect. When the priest is gone, one of the nurses helps Meggie lift and hold one of her daughters. Meggie sits on the bedside and rocks the tiny body for a over thirty minutes. Her cries are the loudest yet, but I don’t block Meggie. The rest of St. Mary Hospital should know what kind of hell she’s been sentenced to.
When Meggie finally lets her first daughter go, she moves on to the second, spending the same amount of time rocking and hugging that tiny, lifeless body. When she gets to Josh, she cries louder and holds him awkwardly because he’s so much bigger than his sisters. Her cries lessen and eventually turn to humming. Meggie then begins half whispering, half singing a lullaby that repeats the words “sleep, baby, sleep.” My eyes squeeze closed to prevent stinging tears from trickling down my cheeks.
Meggie calms a little after releasing Josh, either from being able to embrace her children or from the nurse’s consolation; maybe both. I turn away long enough for the nurse to help Meggie out of her dirty T-shirt and sweat pants and into a clean pair of scrubs. Facing the door, my ears stay sharp for any indication of anot
her outburst.
“You need to say goodbye to your mom, too,” the nurse whispers while she ties Meggie’s hair into a ponytail. “I’ll take you to her.”
“What are we going to do, Janine?” Meggie says in a dead voice.
“I don’t know.” The nurse, Janine, shakes her head and wipes her own tears. “I don’t know.” What else can she say?
Three blocks later, Meggie leaves her children behind and Janine helps her into the second death room of the day. After six more blocks, my muscles are screaming and Meggie has said goodbye to her mother’s lifeless body.
Meggie will probably blame herself for her mom’s death. As her assignment book told it, Meggie asked her mom to stay overnight to babysit the kids in the morning. If the cause of the fire is ever disclosed, Meggie will, no doubt, also blame herself for leaving a candle burning in the kitchen the night before. Too bad she'll never learn the truth about fate's hand in this mess, at least while she's alive. Destiny can be a real bitch.
Another nurse stops Meggie and Janine in the hall and leads them to a room a few hallways over. Meggie pauses before her hand touches the steel door.
“Want me to go in with you?” Janine asks, squeezing Meggie’s arm.
Meggie takes a deep breath and shakes her head.
“I’ll be right here if you need me.” Janine plants her back to the wall and wipes her eyes again.
Meggie leaves the door open behind her. I stand beside Janine for a second to prepare for the upcoming torment.
Janine covers her face and her shoulders bounce up and down when Brody’s voice carries into the hall. “The kids?” he asks, dry and hopeless.
“Haze,” someone says from within the room.
6. I heard our kid here is quite the scrapper
“What are you doing here?” I’m so caught off guard I’ve almost forgotten about Meggie and Brody. Almost. Completely forgetting would be impossible because they’re both in a full-blown frenzy in a room that’s not much bigger than Evelynn’s dress.