Damon was so on Jasmine’s side with this one.
Carmen spoke, “Okay guys let’s everyone just chill out. Look guys, I remember how people profiled people who were or looked Arab after 9/11. It wasn’t cool, but it was understandable. I think we are making too much of a big deal out of this. So let’s everybody just calm down.”
Lucy hadn’t said a word. She couldn’t stand to see that much pain and suffering and for no reason whatsoever.
She cleared her throat and spoke.
“Guys this house is a place where race isn’t an issue. We all get along because we love each other for who we are not what we are. However, I think our acceptance of each other can blind us sometimes to what the world is really like outside of these walls.”
She moved her arms in a sweeping gesture to encompass the idea of their home.
Lucy continued, “While some of us may think it’s extreme and some of us think it’s smart Ahmed just be extra careful and pay attention to your surroundings.”
He started to say something. She put her hand up to stop him.
“That’s something all of us should do anyways, so don’t get your boxers in a bunch okay.”
Ahmed smirked, “Speaking of boxers, I have a hot date tonight. I don’t plan on cancelling it so everybody just relax. I’m going to be late for work.”
With that he left for his room. Lucy and Carmen followed suit. Damon gave Jasmine’s hand a squeeze before he headed to his room. Left alone with no adult supervision Jasmine and Blake stared at each other. His first instinct was to comfort her. Even though he didn’t agree, he could tell she was shaken and she was truly concerned for Ahmed.
Blake found a way to cope with his feelings for Jasmine. He wanted her but he didn’t want to lose her as a friend so he decided to just continue being who he’d always been to her. He would deny himself what he truly wanted until he was ready to know if she felt the same way.
He walked around to where she stood in front of the couch. When he reached for her she took a step back.
His eyebrow shot up and he asked, “What’s wrong?”
Jasmine couldn’t believe she had just done that, but her fears made her avoid him at all costs. So she got defensive.
“Nothing Blake, I’m not a child. I don’t need you to hold me every time I get upset.”
This time he took a step back and stared at her like she had lost her mind.
“Is there something I’ve done that you need to tell me about?”
She saw the hurt in his eyes that she caused but there was no way she was about to let him touch her. She didn’t trust herself to keep her true feelings to herself.
“What do you want me to say Blake, I’m fine. Can you just back off?”
He moved closer to her but there wasn’t affection in his eyes this time, it was anger.
“I have backed off. Jasmine I’m so freakin’ far from you these days I’m practically on another planet. So I’m asking you what the deal is. What have I done to you? You would think that with Amber and Derrick gone our friendship could go back to what it was, so what exactly am I missing here?”
“Nothing Blake, could you please just not make a big deal out of this. I don’t need you to kiss my nose or play in my hair or hold me. I’m a big girl. You know I can handle my own emotions. I don’t want you to touch me. I’m sorry I just don’t.”
Her mind was in self-preservation mode and she couldn’t believe what she was willing to do to keep her feelings to herself.
Blake was heated.
“Well excuse me for trying to comfort a friend. I haven’t touched you in weeks. You’ve been walking around here for weeks with this attitude and avoiding me like the plague. I’m sick of it.”
She let her temper match his. They were unaware that because of all their yelling they now had an audience of four.
“Blake, we have been in each other’s face since we were two. I’m sorry, but I need a break. Everywhere I turn you’re in my face and I feel like I’m suffocating. I just need some space okay. You know since you’re all done with your daddy issues I think I can have some time to myself now.”
The moment the words left her mouth she regretted them, but what could she do? Words were one of those things you couldn’t take back. He looked at her like she was a complete stranger. Even though it hurt her to see him look at her with such disdain the damage was already done. The pain of being rejected by the woman who meant everything to him almost made him lose it in front of her but his pride fought hard and long to keep that from happening.
The ache she caused him was ten times the ache he felt when Melissa and Amber made their exits from his life. He thought she was the one person in the world who would never hurt him. The realization that he couldn’t have been more wrong crushed him. The agony he felt allowed some words to slip out that he regretted before they even left his lips, but misery loved company.
“Well I tell you what, since I’m suffocating you and you can handle your emotions all by your lonesome, how about you handle them all by yourself on June 8th.”
His words sliced through her like a hot knife through butter. Her face cringed like she had just been given a swift kick in the stomach. She didn’t have his control. A tear slipped out and ran down her cheek. For the first time since they were little her tears didn’t move him.
She felt like she was going to be sick but her anger was quick and paramount. Before she could stop herself she slapped him as hard as she could. He knew it was coming and willingly took the slap. It didn’t shock him because he knew her better than he knew himself. Somewhere deep inside he felt like he may have deserved it.
He got in her face looking her square in the eyes and said with barely controlled rage, “Go to hell Jasmine. That should give you all the space you need.”
He sidestepped her and headed upstairs to his room.
She stood there in momentary shock. She’d hurt him and she did it on purpose. Was it really so shocking he would try to hurt her back? She couldn’t believe she hit him. She knew how he felt about hitting. Who was this person she was becoming?
The pain was almost unbearable. She couldn’t believe he would throw that in her face after all this time. She had to sit because she thought she would fall. She couldn’t remember ever fighting with Blake let alone spewing words that could really end their friendship.
She was the mean one. Blake had never been a vicious person. How much pain must he have been in to push that button? What was going on in her life? Why was her world upside down? She couldn’t believe she threw his dad in his face but all she could think about was pushing him as far away from her as possible because she was petrified of her true feelings.
Damon, Ahmed, and Lucy stood in their doorways and Carmen stood at the top of the stairs in shock. They had never seen Jasmine and Blake fight in all the years they had known them. They definitely made up for missed opportunities with this one though.
Jasmine felt the tears rising into her throat. Her anger was like setting fire to the rain. She was determined not to shed another tear for him.
Lucy was about to go over to her but Ahmed said, “Nah, I got her. Give us a moment guys.”
It was at that moment that Jasmine realized they’d had an audience. They all obliged and headed back to their rooms to get dressed for the day. Ahmed grabbed her hand and pulled her off the sofa. She was beyond embarrassed. She kept her face covered with her hands as he pulled her into his arms.
“Jazzy, you know I love you but I have to say only people who are head over heels in love with each can hurt each other the way you two just did.”
It was not what she wanted to hear. It only added to her hurt and fury.
“You know what Ahmed, even if you were right and I was in love with him, I’m sure as hell not in love anymore. As far as I’m concerned I don’t even like him.”
She stormed up the stairs to her room. Ahmed shook his head. Jasmine had to be the most stubborn person he had ever met. The four of
them had a bet going about how long it was going to take those two to get together now that they were both single. It had already been close to two months. Looks like Damon was going to win. It would take a catastrophic event to get those two to realize how much they really meant to each other. He had a sick feeling that everyone’s day was pretty much going to suck.
Chapter 30: Reality Check
Ahmed left his office early that day and went to the local park to hang out and absorb life. He sat on one of the benches in the middle of the park. He needed to see the beauty in the world because his temper had been on edge all day. It didn’t surprise him that the buzz around the office was about the shooting on the campus. What did surprise him were the looks of disgust he’d received from people he had known and worked with for years.
He wanted to punch something, or punch somebody. It irritated him that Jasmine and Damon were right about people. When he’d gotten back from his three o’clock meeting there was a note someone shoved under his door. It suggested he was laundering money for a terrorist organization while claiming to be a proud American. After that he was done. If he hadn’t gotten out of that office he would have terrorized someone with his fist.
It was just a bad day all around. He thought tragedy shouldn’t bring out the worst in people. Instead he believed it should draw them closer. Now he could see that when people looked at him all they saw was the face of a man who could be a terrorist.
They didn’t know that both of his parents were born in America as was he. It was true he was raised Muslim. But he was never raised with whatever beliefs terrorists were privy to in order to justify the brutal slaughter of innocent people.
Ahmed was a pacifist. He had no desire to cause harm to anyone or anything. He couldn’t believe how quickly people turned on him. He turned his attention to a mom and her three kids playing not too far from where he sat. It looked like they had a picnic.
The mother was now blowing bubbles as the kids were chasing them. The littlest girl had to be about three years old. She was laughing and clapping her hands to burst the bubbles. Her chase led her toward him. She was looking up at the bubbles and didn’t see the uneven patch of grass. When she stepped in it, she tumbled.
Without a thought Ahmed was up to help her get up as her mom was trying to make it to her. Her three kids had her really spread out. The little girl was lying in the grass crying. Ahmed bent down and reached out a hand to help her up.
“Don’t cry little lady, it’s okay.”
Since her tears were already drying up he realized she wasn’t really in that much pain. It was more about the theatrics. Her mom raced over to them with her other two kids trailing behind her.
“Blake honey, are you okay?”
The little girl looked up at Ahmed as if to verify with him that she was fine.
He said, “Of course you’re okay because you’re a big girl right?”
She gave him a big grin and nodded.
The mother said, “Thank you so much I saw her about to go down, but I couldn’t get to her fast enough.”
“She didn’t go down that hard. I think it was more of an understanding that when you fall people expect you to cry. She just got some grass stains on her pants.”
The mother laughed and picked up little Blake. Ahmed put his hand up for a high five. Little Blake obliged.
He said, “You know you have a very cool name. My best friend’s name is Blake, except he’s a boy.”
Wide eyed with her tiny voice she asked in disbelief, “Really?”
“Yep, really.”
The mother extended her hand, “Thank you sir.”
He shook her hand.
“You’re welcome. You guys enjoy the rest of your day.”
Ahmed decided to walk around the park after the incident had restored some of his faith in people. She didn’t know him, but she didn’t shun him after he did what he thought any human being would to help a child in need. Meeting little Blake made him think of his Blake and Jasmine.
The thing that irked him the most about those two was how much time they were wasting, and for what? He was pretty sure that by now they had both figured out they had feelings for each other. He couldn’t understand what their hold up was. He thought about all the people that lost their lives today. He wondered how many of them would have made different choices had they known that today would be their very last day on earth.
Blake and Jasmine could have the kind of relationship that people looked to for guidance. What was between them was so rare and so unbelievably perfect he wanted to shake both of them for being so stubborn. He wished he could find someone with half the potential those two had. If he could he would never let her go. His thoughts drifted to his date for the evening, Victoria.
She was great and had lots of potential. She just might be the one. They’d only been out five or six times so he hadn’t brought her home yet. He was pretty sure that after tonight he’d make it a point to introduce her to everyone. They had known each other for years and had always danced around their attraction to each other. They recently ran into each other at a work function and reconnected.
They had plans to go out to dinner but he thought he might change it up and ask her over to his place so that he could cook for her. He didn’t feel like dealing with people. He didn’t want other people to ruin their evening. He took out his phone and sent her a text to see if she was up for it.
He would tell everyone he needed the house tonight and to go find something interesting to do. It’s not like they could argue seeing as how they told him to stay home. She responded right away and said she would love to. He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. He looked at his watch, it was after five. He needed to get to the store and get something to cook. He headed towards his car.
Chapter 31: The Domino Effect
Jasmine was at the shop. She had just finished her last customer. She was sitting in her chair lost in space while biting her nails. It was nearing seven o’clock. Though she was in no mood to go home she didn’t want to be in the shop either. She had to wait for Lucy since they rode together. Her plan to let her work consume her was a bust. There wasn’t a minute that went by that she wasn’t replaying in her head the fight with Blake.
It made her sick and ashamed at how she’d purposely hurt him. She hadn’t been able to eat all day and poor Lucy was getting snapped at about every little thing she could think to complain about. She knew she was wrong. She bought Lucy lunch to try and make amends, but she was still feeling irritated. She just wanted everyone to leave her alone. Most of all she wanted to punch Blake in his pretty face.
She had never been so mad at another human being. It scared her. She absolutely wanted nothing to do with him at the moment. Maybe for a lot longer than that, she hadn’t yet decided. Of all the ways he could have hurt her going for the jugular on the first try had offended every sensibility she had.
She never thought that Blake could hurt her like that. Even though he had the right to defend himself against her rant, she felt he’d taken it too far. She asked for some space, but he dangled the end of their friendship in her face without a second thought.
She was too pissed off to cry. All three of their stylists avoided her all day once they got wind of her attitude. She tried to just keep quiet, but anytime someone said anything to her about anything she had a less than pleasant response.
She made a mental note to send each of them flowers and a card the next day to apologize. She realized what a horrible human being she had been that day. She tried to pray about it but that was annoying her as well. Every time she would pray it was like her feelings for Blake would be slammed in her face.
Having an honest conversation with herself she kept coming back to the same conclusion about why she couldn’t be with Blake. The only problem she had with him was he was white. What did that say about her? She was so frustrated and disgusted with herself that the only way she could deal with it was to ignore it.
If that was truly the case then there was something much bigger than being attracted to him that was becoming clear to her. She was head over heels in love with Blake Jessup but she hadn’t a clue what to do about it. She was deep in thought trying to process her revelation and come to terms with the fact that she had racist tendencies when Lucy interrupted her thoughts.
“Jasmine.”
She snapped, “What?”
Lucy shot her a glare that said she was done being her punching bag. She looked around. Her customer was the last one to leave while there was still one stylist cleaning up her station. Lucy didn’t want to air their dirty laundry in public so she walked up and grabbed Jasmine’s arm with quite a bit of force.
She said, “We need to talk.”
This was a side of Lucy Jasmine had never seen. Sheer shock was the only thing that kept Lucy from getting slapped. After Lucy pulled Jasmine into the office she slammed the door and lit into her.
“Jasmine, what is your problem? The world is not to blame because you and Blake had one fight. How dare you treat me like that and in front of the entire salon?”
Jasmine was momentarily stunned. When she tried to speak Lucy put her hand in her face.
“No shut-up!”
Jasmine’s eyebrow arched. She wanted to laugh more than retaliate because angry just didn’t look right on Lucy. She was too sweet. She should leave the mean to her.
“I understand today sucked royally, I do, but that isn’t any reason for you to use me as a punching bag because you’re mad at the world. If you ever talk to me like that again I will smack you where you stand. Do you understand me?”
Jasmine gave a long stare, blinked and stared some more. She was completely outdone and could not help letting out the laughter that bubbled up. She sat down on her desk and had a much needed laugh. Lucy just stared at her like she had gone over the deep end. She waited for her to compose herself. When Jasmine finally looked up she was wiping tears from her eyes.
“Oh my God Lucy, that was hilarious. I know you meant it, but still you just can’t pull off mean convincingly.”
Color Me Blind (A Divine Love Story Book 1) Page 18