by Martha Carr
“Why would you say, no offense? What’s the offensive part?” he grumbled, gesturing at his body. “Kashgars, the tall bastards, blend in better than we do. Could have definitely been one of them.” He made a loud tsk, tsk and hesitated, rubbing his chin.
“What? What are you not telling me?”
Bernie threw up his hands. “I can see you haven’t quite grasped your situation yet. Not your fault. You have no guide, and yet you’re an Elemental.” He words came out in a whistle through his front teeth.
“So I’ve heard.”
“You’re not only an Elemental, you’re the Elemental. There may be a few different factions hunting for you.”
“The Elemental, what does that even mean? Hunting? Factions? Keep this simple and explain.”
“That’s a lot of questions. Okay, hunting may be a little too strong. How about looking?”
Maggie gave him a cold, steady look. “Have you seen my hands? They look like steamed dumplings. They’re doing more than looking. They touched the merchandise.” She twisted around in her seat, cars slowing down as the rush hour set in, some peering inside with nothing better to do than imagine what was going on inside the El Camino.
“Worse part is I should have been able to take the guy,” she growled. “No problem, game over. Instead, I got throttled by a bunch of bubbles. My partner, a veteran cop easily topping out over two hundred pounds got his bell rung and something supposedly vital to an entire planet got swiped from my pocket like it was lunch money.” She was doing her best to keep her voice low and even, but it was a strain and she was starting to yell.
“Boy, this is gonna make my next statement really awkward.” Bernie sputtered, blowing small bubbles that turned into tiny iridescent fireflies, winking a pale yellow glow before quickly fading. The faint scent of strawberries was only there for a moment.
Maggie arched an eyebrow and leaned back against her car door. “Try me…”
“Wooo boy, you’re not gonna make this easy. Fine, here goes. I need your help getting the compass back.”
Maggie let out a snort and gave him a crooked smile that didn’t make it all the way up to her eyes. “I’m not going to help you get the compass back.”
Bernie started to sputter faster as bubbles spilled out in rapid succession, and tiny fireflies filled the car. A car slowed down even further to get a better look as the bugs blinked their lights and only sped up after the car behind him laid on their horn.
He gulped and pressed his lips together sheepishly, waiting for the fireflies to fade. “That happens when I get nervous. Some people like it.”
“Are those even real?”
“They could be.” He hiccupped and two last fireflies erupted, blinking a yellow light before popping in mid-air. “I need your help. I don’t think I can do this one on my own and there’s too much riding on it.”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to find the damn thing. I’m not going to help you.” She held up her sore and swollen hands. “You are going to help me.”
Bernie let out a deep sigh, his chest heaving. “Okay, great, I can live with that.”
“Why such a turnaround? You were pretty anxious not to involve me before and you were full of attitude.”
“Things have changed. There was a meeting of all the mechanics and I had to take a quick break. While I was gone, Jack made sure to nominate me to take care of you. Seems there’s a general feeling I botched the whole thing from the get go.”
“The break in…”
“That’s the thing they mentioned.” He tapped his chest. “I don’t agree, mind you, but we’re a union, a brethren,” his voice got louder, his confidence returning for a moment. “Got to go with the conscience of the group.”
“They threatened to kick you out, didn’t they?”
He looked sheepish, lacing his hands together under his belly. “Something like that. There may have been mention of being permanently assigned to fixing the Earth’s plumbing system that is Rotorua, New Zealand. Smell of rotten eggs from those steam vents stays with you for days! Truth is, that’s one of the ship’s natural sewer systems.”
“Good to know it took a global crapper for you to want to take my side. No wonder you’re playing nice.”
“Enjoy it, this is harder than the time I had to be a giraffe for a few days.” He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut as he rubbed his neck. “There was a problem at the National Zoo, and some concern over not having enough giraffes if we do ever get this ship moving again. I mean, conjuring a bubble to make my neck do that…” He raised his chin, widening his hands vertically, further and further apart. “I mean, you can imagine.”
Maggie tilted her head to the side, watching him. “Are you about done?”
He clamped his mouth shut and brought his hands together, a scowl on his face. “I thought we were sharing! Isn’t that how you Peabrains like to bond? A lot of talking about feelings?”
“You’re in Texas and we have better things to do. This is how it’s going to go. You’re going to answer a lot of my questions and that’s going to help me formulate a plan.”
Bernie narrowed his eyes, rubbing his chin. “Rotorua, hang out with you. Tough call.”
“Three seconds…”
“Fine, I’ll answer your questions. Fire away, and just so we’re clear, Texan, use your words, not your gun.”
“I’m keeping my options open. First thing I need to know is why I got all the way into my twenties before anyone noticed I’m apparently the key to figuring out a world-sized problem.”
“That was the Kashgars, tall bastards. In their haste to burn down the Library at Alexandria, they failed to save the Elemental records. It was all destroyed and with it the identities of every Elemental, along with a few operating manuals that really would have come in handy. Try taming a tornado without any instructions.”
“You can fix the weather?”
The traffic picked up along the highway behind them, moving faster.
“Oh sure, after all, this giant thing is nothing more than an oversized organic ship. My uncle said it was a snap, back in the day.” He snapped his fingers in the air, a bubble emerging with a small tornado inside, surrounded by tiny flying debris. He snapped his fingers again and the tornado fell apart, replaced by a blue sky and soft, cumulus clouds. The top of a giraffe lumbered through the bubble on its way to somewhere unseen. “Until that fire, this whole ship was just what it was supposed to be; a regular paradise for all the passengers and cargo. Since then, the mechanics,” he pointed his thumb at his chest, “my people, have been regular geniuses coming up with different ways to fix things without spare parts, not to mention stuff we didn’t see coming.”
He threw his hands up, getting worked and pointing his finger at Maggie. “That part would be all you guys. Peabrains may not remember they’re magical but boy, they are inventive and you all like to move things around. Rabbits where they don’t belong, fish in the wrong rivers and kudzu! Don’t get me started.”
“I feel we’re a little off topic. Tell me why the compass is so important, why I’m so important.”
“I am doing just that. You see, to get this you’re going to have to see the big picture. Come here, take my hand. Don’t worry, I washed them yesterday. I do it every Tuesday whether I need to or not.”
Maggie wrinkled her nose but took his hand anyway. “Gently…” The blisters were still throbbing.
“Oh yeah, about those.” Bernie turned in his seat to face her the best he could and gently took both of her hands into his, opening his mouth to make a perfect ‘o’. Pale purple bubbles the size of a baseball squeezed out and drifted lazily down to their joined hands, sliding across the surface of their skin.
Maggie’s eyes widened and she looked up at Bernie. The pain was easing.
“I know, right?” Bernie smiled, opening his mouth again to release more bubbles. “No one can remember how to heal more than burns like this or a pretty good gash.”
“I can fee
l them moving around inside of my skin.”
“Your kind would call it technology I suppose, these days. I mean you have figured out how to build an internet. We call it ancient magic. Maybe in the end it’s the same thing.”
Maggie took in an easy, deep breath and felt the throbbing subside down to nothing. She realized how tired she was but shook it off. There was too much to learn and maybe not enough time. Someone else had the compass.
“Tell me about the compass.”
“Done?” He let go of one of her hands and stood back, still holding tight. “First, I have to show you a few things.”
“Are we about to fly?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. That’s just in comic books.”
“I fell through the Earth but flying is off the table.”
“Pay attention, here we go.”
Chapter Ten
Maggie felt a tingle along the back of her neck and a thin, cold ribbon of energy push through her brain. The interior of the El Camino disappeared and she found herself standing on a wide-open plain in Africa as a herd of gazelles ran past, leaping over a narrow gorge. She could feel the wind on her face and feel the ground shake under her feet. The earthy smell of hundreds of gazelles running past filled the air.
“This is what the Earth looked like back when we first approached the sun.”
Maggie felt her head swim and her stomach lurch as the icy thread spread through her head again and the images stretched and changed to an icy river. A grizzly bear was leaning over the side, swiping at trout. Maggie and Bernie were standing on the far bank on the edge of a pine forest and Maggie could hear the trees creak as they swayed in the cold wind. The scent of pine bark was overwhelming and comforting. She reached out with her foot and kicked a frozen pine cone and was startled to feel it connect and the pine cone skitter across the ground. Her entire body shivered from the cold and she let out a breath to watch it turn into steam.
She turned to look behind her, peering through the trees but they seemed to stretch on forever.
The ground shifted again, and her knees buckled for just a moment as Bernie squeezed her hand tighter. She looked over at him. “You’re sharing your energy,” she said in a hushed tone. Her hand warmed, the sensation spreading up her arm and throughout her body as the images changed and stretched.
The smell of saltwater and fish hit her in the face, and she breathed in deeply, remembering time spent in the gulf with her parents when she was small. They were standing on a sandy beach, clear blue water lapping around their feet. A pod of spinner dolphins emerged from the water, twirling around and dropping back beneath the surface.
Maggie gasped, letting out a spontaneous squeal of delight, surprising herself as she felt the water seep into her shoes. But before she could say anything, the location changed, and she was in the middle of a tomato farm under the hot sunlight.
“Taste one, go ahead.”
“I thought this was from a long time ago.”
“It was and it isn’t. You’re not time traveling, you’re seeing one of the memories that the ship holds, but it’s not the same as our memories. They’re real for just a moment at a time, to be enjoyed and then they vanish. It’s like a vast record of everything that ever existed on the ship.”
“Everything?”
“I know where you’re going with that and that’s rule number sixty-two. We don’t visit the dead. All you’d be able to see is what happened, you can’t talk to them. No good has ever come from taking a trip like that. It sucks people in like glue. There was that incident back in 1934 and I think that guy is still stuck staring at the past.”
Maggie narrowed her gaze, shading her eyes from the sun. The deep, pungent smell of the tomato vines made her relax and take a deep breath. She felt herself getting pulled further into the Earth’s memory.
“Go ahead, try one.”
She heard Bernie’s voice like it was in the distance. “Sink your teeth into one.”
Maggie reached out and moved several thick vines aside to find a fat, deep red tomato hanging low to the ground. She pulled it off and held it up to her nose, breathing deeply, before opening her mouth wide and taking a bite. The juice ran down her chin and dripped onto her shirt as she chewed the bite of tomato, filling her cheeks. She swallowed and went to take another bite just as they were pulled away, sent back to the interior of the El Camino. Her mouth closed around a puff of air even as her eyes widened in surprise.
There was no longer anything in her hand, but she could smell the vines everywhere.
She smacked her lips, still tasting the tomato. “That was so real.”
“It was, and it wasn’t. You experienced it, it gave you something, fed your senses in every way.”
“But all I’m left with is the memory.”
“Yes, like all the rest of life. You know, this was the early version of entertainment for all the passengers. A way to go anywhere, try anything at a moment’s notice. A Peabrain or an elf or wizard could forget everything and try out a different part of the ship without leaving their home. It was better than going to the movies.”
“I’ll say.” She looked down at her shoes expecting to see sand. “And we forgot all of this,” she said in hushed tones. “How is that even possible?”
“A story for another day. That’s more staring at the past. There’s enough on our plate already.”
Maggie shook her head and turned back in her seat, looking out the windshield. “We need to get going. Can’t sit by the side of the road all day.” She looked at Bernie. “Was that the rest of the Alice in Wonderland world tour?”
“For now, it’s plenty. You get the idea. This organic ship is a living, breathing piece of machinery that can do amazing things. That was just a small twinkling of what I could show you.”
Maggie started up the El Camino and looked over her left shoulder, pulling back into traffic.
Bernie opened her glove compartment and rummaged around inside of it. “You have anything to eat in here? I’m starving.”
“You can’t make something to eat with your bubbles?”
“Bubbles are good for healthy food, not my specialty. Give me a nice taquito or queso dip. The bubbles don’t seem to know how to make that and believe me I’ve tried.” He slapped his thigh with a laugh that ended in a grimace. “I ended up with a bowl of spaghetti squash and tomatoes.”
“That’s not bad…”
“Not exactly good either. There’s nothing,” he said, pulling out an old green M&M from a dark corner of the seat and popping it in his mouth. “Mmmm, still chocolate.”
Maggie glanced over, wrinkling her nose as she changed lanes. “Barely. Tell me more about the compass and the Elementals.”
“There’s fire, wind, water, soil and you, the one who guides them all. Each of you represents a vital part of the ship and together you make up the basic elements that were built into her. Hence the name. You are the most important one. With just a couple of the elements in place plus you, we could heal something on the ship…”
“Like a hurricane.”
Bernie clapped his hands together, sliding to the front of his seat. “You were listening!”
Maggie pumped the brakes as the car in front of her hit theirs hard, sending the gnome toward the dashboard. He put out his arms to brace himself, scowling.
“Put your seat belt on,” she said.
The Huldu grunted, sliding the belt over his ample stomach. “You know, I can motivate out of here if worse comes to worse.”
“And tell your clan you left me to die. Sounds like that would lead to something even worse than tending to the world’s crapper.” Maggie sat back, resting one arm on the edge of the door and her hand on the top of the wheel. “You have to think these things through all the way.”
“Not the first time I’ve heard that. Where was I? The Elementals. With just three of the Elementals in place plus you we could probably fix the ship enough to pull out of the sun’s orbit. That’s the theory anyway. Bu
t if you’re not there…” He blew a raspberry. “No can go. The compass doesn’t even work for anyone but the rightful Elemental. Right now, that’s you.”
“But it wasn’t always me.”
“Oh no, there’s only one per generation and it doesn’t pass to the next until well…” He drew his finger along his neck. “We always know when one has passed, even if we didn’t know who it was. There would be something unusual like a row of tornadoes if it was a wind Elemental or a sink hole the size of a house would suddenly open up if it was the dirt Elemental.”
Maggie turned down Pressler and pulled in her driveway. “You staying or are you about to dissolve into a pile of bubbles?”
“I’m here for the duration. Not to worry, I’m quiet and tend to like to keep to myself. I do have a short list for the grocery store.” He pulled a list out of the pocket of his green overalls. He was still wearing the same green sweater. “Easy stuff, and this way I won’t have to bother you for food. All ready to eat, well, except for the ramen. Love those little cups. And the frozen pizzas but I can work a microwave.” Bernie counted each item off on his fingers. “Oh, and the coffee but I assume you have a way to make that too.”
Maggie reached over and pushed down his hand, taking the list. “Queso, no surprise. I don’t see chips on here. You eat it by itself? Okay, okay, no judgment.”
“Just a little side eye.”
“Twizzlers, malt balls, Funyuns. This isn’t really food. Gum?”
“That no judgment didn’t last long. The Earth agrees with you apparently. This is all food of sorts. I mean it took stuff from the ship to make it all. Okay, refined stuff and maybe a lab. Oooh, don’t forget the Pop-Tarts and Hot Pockets. That covers two different meals.” He tapped the list, eagerly looking up at her.
“Fine, what do I know about what a Huldu eats.” Maggie opened her car door and got out, walking by a young redbud tree in the front yard. The tree branches rustled as she passed, bending in her direction.