by Georgie Lee
‘I realise our relationship has not been the best these past few weeks.’
It has never been good, Julia thought, but remained silent, wondering where all this was leading.
‘I know I have no right to ask for your confidences or your discretion, but I implore you to keep what you know a secret.’
‘I have no intention or reason to tell anyone.’ And she didn’t. Besides, Julia guessed from previous comments by both the captain and Emily that everyone already knew their situation.
‘Why wouldn’t you tell?’ Annette demanded. ‘It would be perfect revenge for my less-than-courteous behaviour.’
‘Yes, but I’m not interested in revenge.’ Julia sympathised with Annette, knowing she lived in a world where people tore each other to pieces without hesitation or remorse. The same pity she’d felt for her a few days ago came back along with Uncle Edward’s hope that Julia could advise Annette on her finances. Helping Annette would prove a welcome distraction from Cable Grange, Charles, Emily, Captain Covington and everything else determined to plague her this week. ‘I might be able to help you, if you wish.’
She snatched her hand from Julia’s arm. ‘I don’t need your charity.’
‘I don’t mean charity,’ Julia continued in an even tone, ‘but advice on how to arrange your finances. Emily told me about your small inheritance. Perhaps we can devise a budget to relieve some of your debts and your worries.’
Annette’s eyes softened, then narrowed as if contemplating many things at once, all of which seemed somewhat incomprehensible. ‘I didn’t think, especially after how mean I’ve been, that you’d be so generous. Why?’
‘Because I know what it’s like to have one’s future influenced by a less-than-understanding brother.’
‘At least Charles genuinely cares for your happiness.’
‘Does he?’
‘He’s gone to a great deal of trouble to maintain your reputation and assure himself of the captain’s suitability. Simon would never do the same for me.’
Julia resumed her languid pace, Annette staying by her side. She didn’t want to admit it, but Charles did have her best interest at heart. If he wasn’t so domineering, she might appreciate it more.
‘I’ll have to examine your finances to decide the best course of action,’ Julia hazarded, the opportunity to review figures irresistible. ‘You’ll need to make a list of everything you owe, your expenses and your income.’
Annette fingered the lace of her pelisse, contemplating Julia’s offer. ‘Why do you want to help me?’
‘Because it’s the proper thing to do.’
* * *
‘You’re right—London is ridiculous,’ Annette admitted with a laugh. They’d spent the last two hours reviewing her debts and income. She owed a great deal to a milliner and other London merchants, but her situation was not beyond hope.
‘I never thought I’d hear you say it.’ Or be so friendly, Julia thought, enjoying the new warmth between them.
‘I don’t think I’d admit it to anyone else. The silly things I have to do to try to secure my future.’ She waved her hand over the scraps of paper littered with figures. ‘And still nothing is settled.’
‘Since you live with Uncle Edward and your mother, you can save a great deal, but you’ll have to economise. No more lace and no more dresses.’
Annette sat back with a sigh. ‘It won’t be easy, but I suppose I must.’
‘Just until you find a rich husband,’ Julia teased, putting the finishing touches on Annette’s plan to pay her debts and invest her inheritance, then passing it to her for inspection. ‘I think this will do very well.’
‘Yes, it will.’ She laid the paper aside. ‘I’m truly sorry for being nasty to you, only I’ve been so worried lately, what with Simon’s gambling and Mama no help. I thought Captain Covington might be an answer. I never thought of taking matters into my own hands. You’re lucky to have a man like the captain. He’ll make a good husband and you two will be quite the talk of the ball tonight.’
Julia twisted the pencil in her hands, apprehension replacing her former calm. ‘I don’t particularly care for balls.’
‘Why? You can dance, can’t you?’
‘Yes, it’s one of the few social graces I mastered while in London.’ Charles had hired a dancing instructor for that purpose and Julia had proven a quick study. If only everything else about London society had come so easily.
‘And you can converse with people.’
‘Of course.’
‘Then why are you afraid?’
‘Because everyone sneers at me for running Knollwood instead of painting screens. They seem to have nothing else to occupy their simple minds except how I choose to spend my time.’
‘Well, I can’t stop them from thinking that running an estate is strange, but I can teach you not to care.’
Julia shook her head. ‘It’s not possible?’
‘Of course it is. All London women do it. Do you know how many girls would cry in the halls of Almack’s if they didn’t pretend not to care?’
‘No, I’ve seen the women in London. They possess more confidence in society than I could ever master.’
Annette stared her straight in the eye. ‘Come now, Julia. I’ve seen you stand up to Mrs Wilkins and your brother. I know you aren’t lacking in courage. You helped me—now allow me to help you.’
‘How?’
Annette stood, taking Julia’s hand and pulling her to her feet. She spun Julia around, studying her with a practised eye. ‘First, to play the part, you must dress the part.’
* * *
An hour later, Julia stood before the mirror, admiring her transformation into a diamond of the first water. She wore her finest London gown of white silk with thin, shimmering gold stripes running through the fabric and a gold ribbon around the waist. At the gentle swell of her bosom, Annette fixed one of Emily’s diamond brooches and loaned her a pair of teardrop-pearl earrings. Annette then instructed Mary on how to style Julia’s hair in the Roman fashion with a gold ribbon threaded through the coiffure.
‘Anyone who saw you would instantly think you’re a member of the ton.’ Annette stepped back, inspecting her handiwork.
Julia gazed at her reflection, turning from one side to the other to view her dress and hair. For the first time in a long while, she felt beautiful, but there was more to commanding a ballroom than a pretty gown. ‘I may dress the part, but I don’t feel it.’
‘It’s an easy one to play. Come, I’ll show you.’ Annette led Julia to the far side of the room. ‘When you walk, keep your head up, your shoulders back. Meet everyone with confidence and don’t forget to smile.’
Annette demonstrated the walk, then motioned for Julia to try it. Julia felt silly, but she’d come too far to stop now. Pulling back her shoulders, she put her chin in the air and crossed the room.
‘Very good, but this time smile, acknowledge everyone and remember to hold their gaze a moment before moving on.’
Julia repeated the walk with more purpose, smiling and nodding to the imaginary guests.
Annette clapped at the performance. ‘If the captain wasn’t already in love with you, then he’d lose his heart tonight.’
Julia stopped, stunned by Annette’s announcement. ‘The captain doesn’t love me.’
‘Of course he does. It is as plain as the sun.’
Julia opened and closed the ivory fan dangling from her wrist. ‘Now you’re teasing me.’
‘Do not think so little of yourself, Julia. He loves you as much as you love him.’
Julia opened the fan, studying the painted roses twining together along a vine. Yes, she loved him. She’d spent days denying it, but hearing Annette state it so plainly she could no longer pretend it wasn’t true.
But di
d he love her?
She examined herself in the mirror and for the first time saw not Julia, the awkward girl of Knollwood, but a sophisticated lady engaged to the handsome captain. It seemed too unbelievable to be real. Deep down, she feared everything would come crashing down and she’d wake tomorrow to find it was all just a dream. Unless, as Annette thought, he really loved her. If not, the humiliation would be more than she could bear. It seemed there was only one thing to do. Tonight she would have to find out.
Chapter Twelve
Julia stepped out of the carriage, the biting night air cutting through the delicate material of her gown. Young people, accompanied by matrons and older men, wound through the crush of carriages to the Johnsons’ wide front door. Julia followed her mother and Annette, admiring the tall, white columns lining the façade, thinking similar details would make Cable Grange stately. She tried to take in more of the house’s architecture, but the crowd pressing into the entrance hall made it difficult. They were supposed to arrive earlier, but baby Thomas had taken ill, causing a delay when Emily and Charles decided to stay behind. She’d noticed Uncle George’s carriage outside and knew he and the captain were already here. The captain had returned from London in the early evening, but Annette refused to let him see her and insisted he and Uncle George ride on ahead to the ball. She wanted Julia to make an entrance and surprise the captain.
Once inside, Julia looked for him, eager for him to see her. However, nothing except the tall ostrich feather in the hair of the lady in front of her was visible in the crush.
They stepped into the receiving line, moving forwards to where Mr and Mrs Johnson and the eldest Miss Johnson stood and Julia’s stomach tightened. Despite Annette’s lessons, she didn’t relish the idea of facing the scrutiny of the other country families. Picking up the short train of her dress, she knew she had no choice but to carry on.
‘Mrs Howard, how lovely to see you,’ Mrs Johnson addressed Julia’s mother, who curtsied with her usual grace. She turned to Julia, her beady eyes wide with astonishment. ‘And, Miss Howard, your gown is beautiful.’
‘The colour makes you glow,’ the eldest Miss Johnson offered. Taller and less buxom than her younger sisters, she’d always been kinder than either they or their mama.
‘Thank you.’ Julia curtsied, enjoying Miss Johnson’s compliment and taking pride in showing Mrs Johnson she could dress as fine as any other lady.
Her mother led her off to the left and through the hall leading to the ballroom. Numerous gentlemen and ladies filled the space, chatting and enjoying aperitifs and ices. Julia paused at the threshold, taking in the crowd before Annette linked her arm in hers.
‘Remember what I told you. Everyone will be watching us for I am new and you are unexpected. There’ll be lots of stares and whispers, but walk like you know, but don’t care.’
They stepped together into the thick of the revellers and a hundred glances and whispers were thrown their way. The mothers and young ladies who’d always ignored Julia now stared, taking in the fine style of Julia’s dress and the graceful figure she cut. She did her best to emulate Annette, smiling at Miss Diana Johnson, who sat surrounded by her usual set of admirers. Miss Diana spied Julia, her jaw dropping before she fell to whispers with the young bucks, but Julia never let her smile falter. For once Julia enjoyed being the subject of so many conversations.
The soft strains of Handel greeted them at the entrance to the ballroom. Sweeping the room, her eyes immediately set upon the captain. His blue uniform highlighted by a crisp white shirt, brass buttons and gold epaulettes made him stand out in the sea of men in sober black evening attire. The unmarried young ladies and their mothers covetously examined the captain while Miss Caroline Johnson claimed the envious position of chatting with him. Her fan fluttered in front of her face while they spoke, but Julia could tell he wasn’t listening for his eyes roamed everywhere but over the silly goose’s round, exuberant face.
He’s looking for me. Her heart jumped with excitement and she started forwards, eager to join him, but Annette held her elbow tight.
‘Wait. Make him come to you.’
She could barely stand still, waiting for him to notice her. As if sensing her presence, he turned, starting at the sight of her. His blue eyes swept her before an impressed smile spread over his face. Making his excuses to Miss Johnson, he started across the room. Many ladies dipped behind their fans to comment on the handsome stranger striding towards Julia. She didn’t care what they said or thought—only the captain mattered. She hadn’t seen him since the proposal and until this moment didn’t realise how much she’d missed him.
‘You’re gorgeous, Artemis,’ he breathed, standing over her and taking in the transformation.
Julia arched one saucy eyebrow, enjoying the confidence created by his admiration. ‘Are you trying to flatter me?’
‘No flattery of mine could do you justice.’ The musicians began an allemande and the captain offered her his elbow. ‘May I have this dance?’
She hesitated. It had been a long time since she’d danced and, with her confidence soaring, she didn’t want to trip over her feet and bring herself crashing back down to the ground.
‘Come now. A woman who faces fighting men isn’t afraid of a dance?’ he teased.
Julia laid her hand on his arm. ‘I’m not afraid.’
‘Good. I’m glad to hear it.’
The captain swept her through the steps of the dance, the heat of his body radiating between them during the turns and acting like wine on her senses. The image of him shirtless above her filled her mind and she nearly stumbled, but his strong presence kept her steady and with even steps they moved in time with the others over the polished floor.
Whispers swirled around them from all those who knew her and her family and for the first time Julia didn’t care. Instead of wanting to escape, to run back to Knollwood and the comfort of the study, she grasped the captain’s hand tighter and raised her head higher. She enjoyed exceeding these people’s expectations, for most of them believed spinsterhood to be her fate. It felt wonderful to prove them wrong and be more than they, and perhaps even Charles, ever thought she’d be.
All too soon the dance ended and the captain escorted her to where Annette stood.
‘Well done, Julia,’ she congratulated. ‘You’ve set the room ablaze and are to be commended.’
‘Do you really think so?’
‘Most definitely.’ Annette strolled off to rejoin Mrs Howard as Miss Diana Johnson hurried up to them, her eyes raking over the captain.
‘Miss Howard, we did not expect to see you here tonight. I didn’t think you liked balls,’ Diana said, her voice innocuous, but the cutting remark clear.
‘Whatever gave you such an idea?’ Julia asked.
Diana’s smile faltered, leaving her at a loss for an answer. Not wishing to prolong the awkward moment, Julia turned to the captain. ‘Allow me to introduce my fiancé, Captain James Covington.’
‘Fiancé?’ Diana dipped a wobbly curtsy, her small eyes wide with surprise.
‘Yes, I asked Miss Howard to be my wife and she accepted me.’ The captain patted Julia’s hand proudly.
‘Best wishes to you both. If you’ll excuse me.’ She hurried off across the room to rejoin a group of young ladies Julia recognised, but didn’t know well. They bowed together in a furious mingling of waving fans and gasps while Diana conveyed the news.
‘The whole room will know in a matter of minutes,’ Julia remarked.
‘Good.’ Behind them the musicians started the next dance. ‘Shall we?’
‘Of course.’
* * *
The hour slipped by in a blur of music and the captain’s touch. She revelled in the feel of him next to her while they moved through two more dances, oblivious to everything but each other. She could dance with him for e
ver if only one fear didn’t continue to plague her. She was no closer to knowing the truth of his heart, but she was reluctant to break the ball’s beautiful spell with an awkward discussion or some horrible revelation. Tomorrow she’d discover the truth. Tonight she’d enjoy herself.
At the end of the Scottish reel, he led her to the edge of the room. She waved her fan, the heat of the crowd and the rousing dance making her flush.
‘Would you like some punch?’ the captain asked, his hair damp at the temples from the exhilaration of the reel.
‘Yes, thank you.’
He made his way to the refreshment room, leaving Julia near a large painting of some Johnson ancestor. She wrinkled her nose at the round face staring out from the canvas, thinking it very unfortunate such a feature should be so dominant in the family.
‘Good evening, Miss Howard.’
Startled, she turned to see Mrs Wilkins standing behind her. She wore a deep-green dress of velvet cut too low, her modesty saved only by a wide gold necklace.
‘Mrs Wilkins,’ Julia greeted icily, making it clear she had no wish to speak to the woman, but Mrs Wilkins seemed indifferent to the rebuke.
‘Had I not seen it for myself, I never would have believed it. You strike me as too dour for a man like James.’
‘The captain likes his women refined.’ Julia’s heart pounded in her ears. She’d never been confronted like this and she wasn’t about to let the woman get the better of her.
‘You needn’t be so high and mighty with me, Miss Howard,’ Mrs Wilkins snapped. ‘Do you really think he’ll marry you?’
‘I believe you’re bitter because he didn’t marry you.’
‘I could have had him if I’d wanted him, but I’m not one to pine for the past. Perhaps this time he’ll actually go through with the marriage.’
‘Come to the church tomorrow at three o’clock and you’ll see for yourself.’
‘I think not. Please give him this. He left it in my room when he came to see me the other night.’
Mrs Wilkins held out James’s dented medal and it dangled between them, glittering tauntingly in the candlelight. Julia held out her hand, struggling to control the shaking while Mrs Wilkins coiled the gold chain in her upturned palm. ‘Oh, and please tell him we sold Cable Grange yesterday.’