“No, I have not fallen for any of these guys. I mean, I like them, they’re fun to hang out with. Unless I do a one night stand, which is rare anyway, I need to like to spend time with a guy. It’s not like I just walk in the door and we strip and fuck.”
I would be happy to just strip for Carlos, wouldn’t I? I was careful with my words, because I didn’t want to lie. I hadn’t fallen for Carlos, but I couldn’t honestly say I didn’t have feelings. They were feelings of unbridled lust, though, not anything touchy-feely like I wanted him to be my boyfriend. I just wanted to be a good little slut for him, and that scared me, because I should only be feeling that for my husband.
“Okay, so how do you get past these complications?” Jana asked.
“I don’t know. I’m hoping things will cool off with this time off.”
“They could. What will you do if they don’t?”
“Then I guess we stop.”
Jana laughed. “You don’t sound too sure of that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m on your side. Dave opened Pandora’s Box. He can’t think it’s something you can just close again so easily.”
“I guess so. Honestly, Dave’s so into it that I haven’t seriously considered we would just stop it altogether.”
“So you don’t want to?”
“No,” I said, looking down. If Dave made me I would, and I’d find a way to be okay with it, but I was not ready to give it up. I felt like a terrible wife for admitting the truth. I wasn’t ready to give up the attention or the thrill of illicit sex.
“Hey, I’m still not judging. If I was in your position, I wouldn’t give up my boy toys either. I’d tell Neil he’s got to live with it now. I wish I could find a way to get into your position!”
It was my turn to laugh. “It’s not as easy as it sounds. I took a long time to work up my nerve in the beginning. And then you’ve got be ready to kiss a lot of frogs. It’s like real dating, that way.”
“I think I could adapt.”
“No way Neil would ever go for it?”
Jana shook her head. “I can’t really see it. He’s usually pretty mellow, but he can be jealous. He was pretty pissed that night when we were hanging out in the pool with Jay.”
“You gave him plenty of reason to be!”
“Speaking of Jay, you should definitely be fucking him.”
“No, too close to home. Who knows if he could keep his mouth shut?” I knew he was off limits, but the mention of him got me thinking about how much fun he would be.
“I think I could probably convince Neil to swap with another couple, if I could set things up. It would have to be in the moment, though. If it was preplanned and he had time to think about it he would back out.”
“Yeah, it’s easy to psych yourself out,” I agreed.
“Maybe if one of your pool parties got out of hand…”
“Jana! We’re not doing any of that stuff at home!”
“I’m just saying we both know Neil would love to fuck you…”
“But Dave doesn’t want to fuck you—no offense. He doesn’t want to fuck any other women.”
“That’s a shame. I would rock his world. Anyway, if Neil fucked you then he would have to give me the pass to go out, right?”
“You haven’t exactly waited for a pass before.”
“Don’t be mean.”
“Sorry,” I said.
“This way it would be in the open. Maybe he would get off sharing experiences.”
“Don’t start forming some plan,” I warned. This is a huge secret. Dave doesn’t know I’m confiding in you, and I don’t know if I’m going to tell him. He’s really freaked about anyone finding out.”
Jana smiled. “I like that he’s kinky. It makes him more interesting.”
“Hey! Hands off my husband.”
“It’s only fair he should get some.”
Jana had a point, but I didn’t see it happening. Dave swore he wasn’t interested in other women, and I’d seen firsthand that he didn’t take advantage when he had the chance. But I did wonder if he would resist if Jana really put on the pressure. I doubted I’d ever find out.
“I’m only kidding, hon,” Jana said. “I’m not going to embarrass the poor guy. If he wants this to be his dirty little secret I can respect that.”
“Thank you.”
“But you have to promise that you’ll share the gory details if you get back out there. I haven’t had a session with AJ in ages. I need to live vicariously through you.”
“I promise.”
Time got away from us, so we finished lunch and split the check. Jana had a nice walk to the theater and had to get a move on. We hugged outside the bistro and as we said goodbye I could tell something had changed between us. It wasn’t that Jana thought I was some awful person, rather I felt like she had a newfound respect for me, and I sensed a little jealousy there, too. I was sure she would keep my confidence in the neighborhood, but I was not as sure she wouldn’t try to find some way to turn all of this into some adventure for herself. I would have to be vigilant.
I wasn’t sure she had reason to be jealous. Yes, I’d had some great adventures, but things were all confused and twisted now. I needed to know where Dave and I stood, and I was not prepared to give him much more time. I’d been a very good girl during our break, but it was harder than I thought it would be. I did not recharge the burner phone, because I knew I’d be too tempted to turn it on if it was charged. And then I would see a flurry of messages from Carlos, and I was honestly afraid of what I might do in response. It was easier to be good when temptation was taken away.
I’d also gotten a few casual texts from Zach—he was still trying to stay in the game—but I blew those off too. Zach would be the perfect place to run if I wanted to be bad. He was all fun and comfortable. Closer to a boyfriend, if I would ever allow such a thing.
I’ve never been a superstitious person, but sometimes things just happen that make you question if something larger is at work. For example, can you summon something—or someone—just by thinking of it? Does the universe throw tests in your path to see how you’ll respond? My test was right around the corner.
“Hey, Dani,” he called as I turned the corner. I didn’t react at first. I was not expecting anyone to call out for Dani. “Dani, hey, wait up!”
I turned, and there was Zach, as if I’d summoned him. His hair was a little shorter than the last time I’d seen him, and I think it was the first time I’d ever seen him dressed fully like an adult. He wore baggy, distressed cargo pants and a loose, plaid shirt. It could have just been me, but he looked particularly handsome. I let him pull me into an embrace and failed the first test by letting him kiss my lips instead of offering the cheek.
“It’s been a while.” I was smiling. I was genuinely happy to see him.
“It’s been too long. You’re always so damned busy.”
I quickly slipped back into my Dani persona and replied, “Custody isn’t working out like it’s supposed to, so I don’t have a lot of free nights.”
“I thought maybe you were seeing someone else.”
“There’s been a date or two.” I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but I did always feel it was important to let him know where we stood.
He grinned. “It’s not like I’ve been home waiting by the phone.”
“Oh really?”
“Don’t worry, Dani. No one’s as sexy as you.”
I could just imagine the eager young things he was meeting at the bar. “Yeah, right.”
“You look hot, babe.” He stepped back to look me over and a blush crept into my cheeks.
I was not dressed for a date, but dressing sexier had just crept into my normal wardrobe, even when I was out for a casual afternoon, apparently. I wore a light jacket over a figure-hugging ribbed mock turtleneck and a short, pleated black kilt with patterned stockings and high boots. Suburban mom chic. They were thigh highs. I hadn’t worn pantyhose in months—a change that my husband heartily approved of.
“Is it working?”
“Maybe just a little,” I said, barely holding my fingers apart.
“I hope this helps.”
Zach kissed me, right there on the sidewalk, in the middle of the afternoon, in the middle of the city. It wasn’t likely anyone I knew would see us, but it wasn’t impossible. That thrill of danger raced through my veins and I reacted like any other addict getting a hit. I sighed and sagged into his broad chest. He held me tightly and I sensually pressed my curves to him while pressing my tongue to his.
I’d been starving for that attention more than I knew. Dave and I had been having sex at least a couple times a day, but it didn’t slow me down. I was still always horny. The message I sent Zach was loud and clear, and I only barely managed to pull away from him. I was breathless. He was all smiles.
“So what are you doing down here?” he asked.
“Shopping,” I said, wrestling back control of my tongue.
“You know, there’s a great lingerie shop just a couple blocks away.”
“What a coincidence,” I replied playfully. My conscience was screaming in the background: Get out of here! Do not flirt with this boy!
“I’d love to help you pick out some stuff.”
“I’m sure you would.” Images of me pulling Zach into a changing room flooded my mind. That was not good.
“And then you could come back to my place and model them for me.”
“I’d hate to take over your afternoon. I’m sure you had plans. I bet you were meeting one of those other girls, weren’t you?” I teased.
“There’s nothing I can’t drop. There’s no other way I’d rather spend my day, babe.”
My head screamed, Don’t do it! Don’t do it!, but “Let’s start with shopping and see where we end up,” came out of my mouth. As soon as I said it, I knew I was going to end up in Zach’s bed. I’d been good for so long, but I just couldn’t resist the temptation. What was I going to tell Dave? Oddly enough, I still had that key chain camera in the bottom of my purse. I suspected that if I dropped a hot video in Dave’s lap all would be forgiven. I knew I was going to find out.
acknowledgments
Although I sit alone when I am writing, I cannot take all the credit for this book. I have to thank Kenny Wright for another great cover and a beta read. This book would be much poorer in quality if not for the help of beta reader and editor Greg. If there are still any errors, they are mine, not his. I also need to thank all of the members of the Our Hot Wives message board, who post their stories and their fantasies and gave me great insight into what it’s like living in the Hot Wife lifestyle. And finally, as always, I thank my understanding husband for inspiring my fantasies and giving me the time to write them out for all of you.
Hot Dates 2: Living as a Shared Wife Page 21