by Liz Gavin
“You seem happy, Jen. I’m happy for you,” Declan said, and he meant it.
Their conversation turned to other subjects and, when they finished breakfast, they knew they had patched up their friendship. Declan was grateful that Jen had accepted his invitation and she was surprised she had had such a great time. Stepping outside to say their goodbyes, it felt natural for both of them to hug.
“I really want you to be happy, Declan. You deserve that,” she squeezed his arm when she saw doubt shadowing his eyes. “You do, sweetie! Don’t ever doubt that you deserve happiness,” Jennifer wanted to reassure him, so she gave Declan a chaste kiss on his lips.
She turned around to go to her office and he ran to cross the street when the pedestrian light started flashing red. He needed to take the bus to work and he didn’t want to be late. He was excited and hopeful for the first time in a long while. All of a sudden, life seemed to offer him lots of good opportunities.
Keira woke up feeling horrible. She had the worst hangover, which she wasn’t used to having. She opened one eye with difficulty to check the time - almost eight in the morning. She had to get up, pack and hit the road. Stumbling out of bed towards the bathroom, she washed her face and looked in the mirror. She barely recognized herself - puffy and red eyes, dirty and messy hair, and swollen lips. As Keira took a shower, she relived the events of the night before. Her lifelong insecurities kicked in and she concluded she was out of her mind for thinking she had a real shot at a guy like Declan. She certainly hadn’t gotten it right. He wasn’t into her. He wouldn’t be interested in an ordinary-looking, American virgin if he could have any Irish beauty he wanted.
Although she wasn’t hungry, she went down for breakfast and forced herself to eat because she needed her strength for her road trip. Everything tasted like cardboard. Besides, she had a lump in her throat, which she fought to control because she wouldn’t let anything ruin her vacation. Not even a pair of gorgeous green eyes. Every time she remembered Declan’s eyes, the lump felt bigger.
When she returned to the bedroom, her phone was beeping, telling her she had received a new text message. Her heart skipped a few beats when she saw Declan’s name on the screen. She hesitated opening it because she didn’t want to confirm her suspicions. He was probably apologizing for the previous night, saying he couldn’t keep their appointment in two weeks. She couldn’t read it. She cowardly locked the screen again and stowed the phone away in her back pocket.
Going downstairs again, Keira checked-out and asked the clerk to call a taxi. At the nearest car rental, she got the car and was on her way in no time. She stopped at a traffic light and looked around, admiring the beautiful old buildings that surrounded her. Her thoughts went back to her career choices, as she analyzed a quaint little coffee shop at the corner. She should take up architecture. As she stared, a couple left the building and hugged for a while in front of the coffee shop. The woman kissed the man before they went their separate ways. The traffic light was about to change so the man sprinted towards the other side of the road, passing right in front of Keira’s car. She felt her heart sinking inside her chest like an anchor when she recognized Declan.
“Son of bitch! He never told me he had a girlfriend!”
CHAPTER 3
“You never asked,” that annoying voice inside her head reminded her but Keira ignored it, as she tried to shift into first gear, when the driver behind her honked because the light had turned green and she hadn’t moved. She didn’t know how to drive stick and the bitter tears of anger welling up in her eyes didn’t help, either. She wiped them away and focused her attention on mastering the damn car and GPS system. However, when she got to the road, there was no escaping her accusing conscience, I told you were a fool to believe he meant what he said. Did you see the woman? She’s gorgeous.
Keira hated to admit that she was jealous. She was and there was nothing she could do about it. Driving through the beautiful countryside, but seeing none of it, Keira’s thoughts and feelings were chaotic. Her insecurities got the best of her and she convinced herself it was better to find out who he was from the beginning. After all, nothing serious had happened between them, which meant she could get over Declan easily and quickly. At twenty-two, she had her life ahead of her. So, why did a painful pang in her chest made it so hard to breathe? Maybe, getting over him wouldn’t be that easy. On the other hand, Keira was a resolute woman. ‘Stubborn as a mule’ would be her mom’s definition for her. She would manage.
After around forty minutes, Keira got to her first destination, Wicklow, where she had planned to stay for three nights in order to go hiking and sightseeing. The beautiful area was perfect for those kinds of activities. Guided by her driving app, she found the little B&B without any incident. The house was a masterpiece in stone dating from the early eighteenth century and the surrounding countryside was peaceful and lush.
When she entered the front hall, Keira was greeted by the owners, a lovely elderly couple, who made her feel at home right away.
“Hello, my dear. I’m Sylvia, and this is my husband, John. Welcome to Burtonderry House,” said the silver-haired lady. She was wearing a spotless white apron. “I’m in charge of the kitchen, as you can see from my outfit,” she added with a self-mocking expression. “While John, here, takes care of the rooms and leisure activities.”
“Nice to meet you both. I’m Keira. I’ve made a reservation for three nights.”
“Yes, yes, my dear. We were expecting you,” John replied as he took her bags. “Come this way. I’ll show you to your room.”
“See you in a bit, Keira. Lunch will be served in half an hour,” Sylvia shouted as they walked away and up a beautiful wooden staircase that led to the guest rooms. When John opened the door to her room, she felt like a little girl again.
“Oh, my gosh! I’ve always wanted a bedroom like this,” she giggled. “It’s like a fairytale bedroom,” she exclaimed as she ran a hand over the soft fabric of the curtains that hung around the canopy bed.
John smiled at her childish enthusiasm before putting her bags beside the armchair on the corner, “Glad you like it. There’s a phone over there. Dial zero if you need anything.”
She stretched her hand to give him a tip but he smiled and closed his calloused hand over hers. “There’s no need for tipping us, Keira. We love sharing our home with our guests. Your money is good here only for the room and fare, nothing more.”
“Thank you, sir. It’s very kind of you and your wife.”
“Please, call me John. I’m old enough to be your grandfather but I don’t like formalities, especially where beautiful lasses are concerned,” he gave her a playful wink and closed the door behind him as he left her alone.
She smiled for the first time that day, putting her bag on the bed and getting fresh clothes. She wanted to take a walk around the place after lunch. When she took off her jeans and tossed it on the bed, her cell phone fell from the pocket, bouncing off the mattress and landing on the floor with a thud. The thick carpet prevented any damages and she stared at her phone as if it were a reptile, remembering she hadn’t opened Declan’s text message.
Don’t be a wuss. Read it already! Postponing the inevitable will only make it worse.
Summoning her courage, she took the cell phone and opened his short message, “Miss you already, gorgeous. See you in fifteen days.”
Keira’s face got red with rage. How could he be so cynical? The lying, cheating bastard sent her a message while having breakfast with another woman. She threw the phone back on the bed and left the room, fuming. She noticed she was stomping her feet as she climbed down the wooden stairs and made an effort to control her temper.
When she got to the dining room, which was a small room with eight square tables, six guests were already enjoying their lunch. She chose an empty table and, as she sat down, she noticed Sylvia coming towards her with a plate full of salad and a small basket of freshly baked bread on a large tray. She settled the food in front o
f Keira with a smile.
“Enjoy, dear. I’ll bring the rest as soon as you finish.”
“It smells so good,” she replied, taking a slice of bread from the basket and spreading butter on it. “Thank you, Sylvia.”
“My pleasure.”
Keira thought she wouldn’t eat anything, because her throat was so tight, but she ended up devouring the meal. Everything was delicious. She hadn’t had such good food, probably, since she had left her parents’ home for college. When she had eaten the last crumbs from the generous slice of chocolate cake that Sylvia had served as dessert, Keira smiled and pushed the plate away.
“Thank you, Sylvia. That was the best meal I’ve had in a very long time. I need to watch my weight around here.”
“Thank you, dear,” Sylvia replied, as she took the dirty tableware away. “Don’t worry about getting fat, though, you’re so skinny.”
“Nevertheless, I’d like to take a walk around to burn some calories.”
“Walking around is a good idea. This area is very beautiful. Enjoy.”
Keira explored the extensive property with its gardens, hills, a beautiful orchard and some small farm animals scattered on the fields and over the hills. She thought the one-hour walk would help take her mind off Declan. It didn’t. She went back to her room to search online for a local travel agency. There were many options in that area and, acting on an impulse, Keira chose a more adventurous agency that offered a rock climbing and rappelling package.
I hope the adrenalin gets my good mood back so I can enjoy my vacation better.
She spent the following day, alongside a small group of people who had booked the same tours, hanging from ropes and conquering steep climbs. When she got back to the inn, she was exhausted, but proud of herself. She took a long bath to relax her sore muscles before going down to have dinner.
“Did you have a nice time today, my dear?”
“Oh, it was the best, Sylvia. I went rock climbing and rappelling. I met a bunch of interesting people, too.”
“Any particular lad worth mentioning?”
Keira blushed before lowering her eyes to her plate, “I don’t know about that.”
“Oh, so you have a boyfriend. What happened? Did he get cold feet at the last minute? He shouldn’t have left a beautiful woman traveling alone through a foreign country.”
“I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Then, that’s a shame. I hope the Irish men can change that for you,” Sylvia said, winking. “They are very talented, you know.”
Keira’s face turned a deeper shade of red and she offered the other woman a shy smile before Sylvia turned away and went back to the kitchen, laughing.
“She is so nice that I can’t be angry at her. Besides, why do I have to be so shy?”
Keira finished the meal in record time and returned to her room before the other guests showed up for dinner.
Her cell phone rang, as she entered her room, and she answered it without checking the number; which was a mistake, she realized, when she heard Declan’s voice.
“Hey, gorgeous. I haven’t heard from you since you left Dublin. Are you all right?”
She hesitated and considered hanging up but her natural good manners didn’t allow her to be so rude. She took a deep breath, “I’m fine, thanks,” she sounded cold even to her own ears.
“Ouch! What happened, Keira? You didn’t answer my text or returned my calls. You sound colder than the Arctic. Why is that? Are you having second thoughts about us?”
She considered his question for a brief while and decided it gave her the perfect opportunity to avoid future heartache, “To be honest, Declan, I’m not having second thoughts. I’m not in doubt at all,” she paused for when she heard his sigh of relief and a sly smile played on her lips as she continued. “Actually, I’m sure this is not going to work. It was a huge mistake on my part. I’m sure you can understand why and I guess you’ll be relieved. I let you off the hook. Goodbye, now.”
“Keira, wait! Don’t hang…”
Ignoring his pleas, she hung up the phone, shut it off and sat in the armchair by the window feeling very proud of herself. The feeling lasted for less than five minutes. That was the time it took for her treacherous heart to flip inside her and the damn butterflies to return to her stomach. She ignored those symptoms and looked outside the window.
It was such a gorgeous place. She loved that kind of rural landscape. Why the heck couldn’t she appreciate it? Closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the headrest, Keira lost sense of time. Two nagging questions went round and round inside her head – what if he was the one? Was she giving up on Declan too soon, and without a fight?
Miles away, Declan stared at the phone in his hand, unable to believe she had hung up on him. He had a deep crease between his eyebrows but the dead phone wouldn’t give him the answers he wanted, the answers he needed. He tried her number again but wasn’t surprised when his calls went straight to voicemail. He sent her another text message.
“Keira, I don’t know what’s happened to make you change your mind about us. I’d really love to have a chance to hear your reasons and maybe explain myself. You’re upset and I feel responsible, even though I have no earthly idea of what I might have done to you since we last saw each other. Please, don’t shut me out.”
After pressing the send button, he could only wait and pray she would give him a chance. He hated feeling helpless.
Early next morning, Keira woke up with a gasp and sat on the bed, startled. Her hazy mind took some time remembering where she was. Her face got hot with embarrassment when snippets of a very vivid dream came to mind. She looked down and noticed the bed sheets, and her clothes, were drenched. They clung to her body because her skin was covered in sweat.
In the steamy dream, Declan had made love to her - thoroughly and without haste. Granted, she was a virgin, but the sensations he had showed her in Dublin had given her creative imagination a lot of material to work with. Her body had responded promptly. Her muscles still tingled from the recent, very intense orgasm she experienced in the dream.
Oh, my! I’m doomed, she plopped back on the pillows and covered her face with her hands. I can’t control dreams. I can’t control my own body. What do I do?
Her body relaxed gradually as the last waves of pleasure ebbed away, taking with them the tension she had accumulated in those last couple of days. She couldn’t deny she felt wonderfully calmer but that didn’t change the fact that Declan had kissed another woman outside the coffee shop and, then, pretended nothing had happened.
I can’t trust Declan.
After a much needed shower, she went downstairs to have breakfast. She was the only guest and Sylvia had a chance to chat as she served Keira’s food.
“You’re an early bird, dear. What are you up to today?”
“I’ll go hiking and won’t be back until late in the afternoon.”
“Sounds fun. Thank you for letting me know you’ll be out. I worry about my guests.”
Keira smiled at the woman’s sincere concern, “I know you do. But you shouldn’t. I mean, what could happen to me in such a quiet and peaceful place?”
“You never know. There crazy people everywhere. You are a sweet girl who reminds me of my daughter. I want to be sure you’re having a good time but that you’re safe, too.”
Keira reached out and squeezed the old lady’s hand.
“That’s very sweet, but don’t worry. I’ve booked a tour with a local agency. They’ll send a van to pick me up and there’ll be guides, and other people. I’ll be fine.”
She went upstairs to get ready to leave and heard the van parking, while she was lacing up her sneakers. Not wanting to make people wait for her, Keira rushed down the stairs, leaving her phone inside the room. She realized it as she sat down on her seat and couldn’t go back for it.
The day went by quickly and Keira had a great time with the small group guided by a young Scottish woman, who knew everything there
was to know about the Wicklow Mountains. By the end of the day, when the van dropped her off at the B&B, Keira’s head was still spinning with everything she had learned, while her body was deliciously sore from the intense hiking. She went straight to her room to rest before dinner.
After dinner, she read before going to sleep, which was an old habit of hers. Keira loved reading all kinds of books but she had recently discovered erotica. In the past, she used to think these kinds of books weren’t worth her time because they didn’t have literary value. She was surprised to learn there were actually good authors writing hot, kinky stories and that there were well-known writers, who published erotica under pen names, to avoid public criticism or in order not to antagonize their own regular readers.
She finished the steamy short-story and went to sleep hoping Declan would stay out of her thoughts. She wasn’t that lucky. He haunted her dreams again and she once more woke up with a start, out of breath and trembling with yet another powerful sexual release.
“Seriously?!” she said aloud, as she got out of bed and stumbled across the room to the bathroom. Her legs were wobbly, her throat was dry, and she felt faint as erotic images popped up in her head.
She splashed her face with cold water, returned to the room, and sat on the bed. The alarm clock showed six in the morning. It was too early to get up but she didn’t want to go back to sleep and risk having more disturbing dreams. Besides, she had a long day ahead of her because she was going to drive to Waterford, stopping at Wexford.
She went downstairs for breakfast, and was the only guest in the dining room. She invited Sylvia to sit down with her to keep her company.
“I’ll miss you and John, you know? I had a wonderful time here.”
“You’re very kind, my child, but if I can be honest with you, you don’t seem like you had a good time at all. You’ve got a shadow darkening your face. It’s so sad to see that.”
“Don’t worry, my friend. I’ll be just fine.”