by Liz Gavin
A series of loud beeps and painful moans broke the silence in the room.
“Excuse me, ma’am,” a nurse gently asked Mrs. Claire Ashe to move away from the bed, where she had been standing since she had arrived.
The nurse checked the monitors, changed the blood IV bag, and adjusted the medication one. There wasn’t much else she could do, and her heart bled for the Ashe family’s suffering. She turned around to leave them alone, stopped a few feet away from the door, and looked at Mr. Ashe, who sat on one of the two armchairs placed beside the bed, staring into space.
“We’re doing all we can, sir.”
He looked at her as if she had grown two heads, and squinted his eyes. After what seemed like an eternity, Rick Ashe softly replied, “Thank you, miss. You have Keira’s eyes, you know?”
His dark blue eyes filled with tears and the young nurse scurried out of the room to hide her own from a father who was going through a parent’s most terrifying nightmare. He didn’t need an emotional nurse to make things worse.
In the evening of the following day, Megan Ashe had taken her mother’s place beside the bed. Careful not to dislodge the ventilator, she held the patient’s hand, squeezing it gently and whispered, “Stay with us. Do you hear me? Don’t you dare give up now. We need you to catch that son of a bitch O’Hallon.”
The sound of the hateful name was lost as the ECG monitor went crazy with fast, loud beeps, and a high-pitched alarm blast pierced the air. A hospital team rushed in, surrounding the hospital bed. They tried to stabilize the vital signs; but, when it was clear they wouldn’t be able to accomplish that in the room, they quickly rolled the patient out.
“Where are you going?” Mr. Ashe asked.
“Back to surgery,” the last nurse to leave the room replied without looking back at the family. Time was crucial. She couldn’t waste it on niceties.
When Declan opened his eyes again, he didn’t know how much time had passed. The house was deadly quiet. O’Hallon was nowhere to be seen. Declan sluggishly crawled forward and sat up beside Keira. He could barely breathe, due to the effort to move and the loss of blood, but he pulled her lifeless body onto his lap and held her close. He hugged her tight against his chest. He buried his face in her hair, which was covered in blood, and cried like he hadn’t cried since he was a little boy. He felt like he was six again.
“Please, please, don’t leave me, Keira.”
His sobs filled the air. He balled his hands into fists, frustrated because Keira didn’t respond. He couldn’t face the evidence that she wasn’t able to answer him.
“This is my fault, too. He wouldn’t have killed you, if I had let you go with him.”
He sat there, rocking back and forth for a long time, hanging on to her as if he could bring her back by sheer power of will. The thought that she was gone forever caused such burning pain in his chest, much stronger than the one from the bullet. He couldn’t breathe.
“Please, don’t go. I can’t bear it if you leave me, too.”
“I didn’t want to leave you, but I had to go, sweetie. I wouldn’t have left you, if there were any other way. Please, stop crying,” Keira’s voice sounded different. It seemed there was some kind of echo, like there were two people talking at the same time.
A soft hand rested on his shoulder. Declan looked up and couldn’t believe his eyes.
“Mother?! Is that really you? How? What happened? What are you doing here?”
“I came because you needed me, son. In fact, I’ve never really left you. You just couldn’t see me.”
He looked down to find out Keira’s body had disappeared. His mother was standing in front of him. It was hard for him to look at her without squinting his eyes against the bright light radiating from her. She held out her hand and pulled him up.
“How is it possible? You’re dead. It was my fault, too. I couldn’t help you and you died. Just like Keira.”
“Anything is possible here, Declan. Don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, son. I didn’t die because you couldn’t help me. And neither did Keira.”
“I saw it. I stood there and watched father kill you. How isn’t that my fault?”
“You were only six. There was nothing you could do. Besides, your father isn’t a murderer, Declan. You were too young to understand what was going on in our house. You’re an adult, now. You’ve got to forgive him. He needs you and your brothers.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t do that, mom. My brothers can’t, either. He killed you.”
She lifted an almost transparent hand to tap his. There was so much love, so much compassion in her eyes, he felt like his body was filled with those same emotions.
“I’ve already forgiven him, love. Why can’t you and your brothers do the same?”
She paused and waited for his reply. When he didn’t say anything, she smiled.
“Besides, nobody really dies. I mean, we seize to exist as corporeal beings but we don’t seize to exist. In this sense, I’ve never abandoned you. I’m here now, aren’t I?”
He looked around and noticed a thick white fog wrapping them up, cloaking everything else around them. He couldn’t see a thing.
“Where are we?”
“At the hospital. You’re undergoing surgery.”
Iris Slane swept her hand in the air in front of them, the fog lifted, and Declan saw they were standing in the middle of a brightly lit room. There was a group of people around an operating table. He had to strain his neck to see over their shoulders. He was lying on the table. He didn’t question the fact he could see his own body a few feet away, but rather wondered about Keira.
“Where’s Keira?”
Iris didn’t answer. She preferred to hug her youngest son instead.
“What happened to her, mom?”
“It’s going to be all right, Declan.”
“How can you say that? I saw her on the floor. Her face was covered in blood. Her body was battered. She wasn’t breathing.”
“I know what you saw, dear. It’s difficult for you to understand it. You’ve got to have faith, son. You’ve got to believe your love is strong enough to lead her back to you.”
“I don’t know if I can do that, mom? I’m so tired. I’m tired of everything.”
“Don’t say that, Declan. You’re too young to say such a thing.”
“Keira’s been through so much, mom. Both of us have been through a lot, actually. I can’t take it anymore. I’m just so very tired.”
“Don’t give up, son. You must fight back this weakness.”
The monitor in the operation room sounded a high beep. Declan had flatlined. The doctors and nurses hurried around the operating table, trying to revive his motionless body.
“Go back, Declan, and I promise I’ll find Keira,” her mother told him. “Know that I’ll always be by your side.”
As the team shouted orders, he felt light-headed. At the same time, his mother seemed to get more ethereal, slowly vanishing in the air. All of a sudden, he couldn’t see her anymore, and everything turned quiet around him. All the pain had disappeared. He didn’t feel anything.
Morning dawned gray and cold over Cork before the Ashe family heard again from the doctors. When the door opened, they expected to see somebody from the hospital team, but Inspector Dwyer entered, followed by two young men.
“Any news?” Dwyer nodded towards the empty bed.
“Not yet,” Megan replied.
“These are Colin and Brandon Slane. They’re Declan’s older brothers.”
Before they could say anything else, two doctors entered the room. They looked exhausted, their facial expressions were impossible to read. Claire and Rick Ashe held hands, while Megan braced herself for whatever they were about to hear, although she doubted her numb senses could take more bad news.
“We stopped the internal bleeding, which alleviated the pressure inside the chest and allowed the heart rate to return to its regular rhythm. I have to be honest with you, though. It
was touch and go for a while. We thought we had lost him a couple of times because he had already lost a great amount of blood from the bullet wound, and during the first surgery. But, he showed remarkable resilience and stamina.”
The little group exchanged meaningful glances and their relief was evident as they released a collective sigh. Inspector Dwyer was the first to speak.
“When can we see him?”
“Mr. Slane is in ICU now, so we can monitor his recovery. He will remain there until he can breathe without the ventilator,” the other doctor answered. “We advise you to go home and rest. All of you. He won’t be able to receive visitors before noon. We aren’t sure he’ll be able to talk even then, inspector.”
“We need to talk to him as soon as possible, doctor. Please, let me know it when he’s fit for questioning.”
“That may take a while, sir,” the younger doctor meant to explain that the patient’s condition was still very critical, but he changed his mind when he saw Mrs. Ashe’s expression. “Rest assured we’ll do all we can to get him there fast.”
“Thank you, doctor, we’ll do that,” Rick agreed and the doctors left with a brief, respectful nod towards Claire and Megan. He turned to Inspector Dwyer, “Could you give us a ride to the hotel? I don’t think I can manage looking for a cab at this point.”
“Absolutely, sir. I’m sorry to say we don’t have any news on Keira’s whereabouts, yet,” Dwyer anticipated the next question the Ashes were bound to make.
Claire dropped her head on her husband’s shoulders and tried to muffle a sob. She didn’t succeed in doing so. Megan wanted to scream at the detective who had let her family down far too many times over the past weeks. However, the oppressive emptiness that had filled her chest, and head, had also rendered her uncharacteristically listless.
On the other hand, Dwyer’s expression of utter misery and chagrin made it clear that there wasn’t any more blame for her to throw at him that he hadn’t already thrown at himself.
“We’d rather stay here at the hospital. We’ll call you if there’s any news,” Colin told Dwyer as he and Brandon sat down to wait for their baby brother’s return.
Declan opened his eyes to find a beautiful woman looking intently down at him. She reminded him of Keira, except her eyes were brown. His head was swimming and he wasn’t sure where he was or what had happened to him. His mouth was dry and his throat burned.
“Rick, come here. He’s awake,” the woman called somebody over her shoulder.
He frowned and opened his mouth to speak. Nothing came out of it. He cleared his throat and was about to try again when the woman seemed to pity him.
“Calm down, Declan. You shouldn’t exert yourself. Here, drink a little water. You’ll feel better.”
He did feel better but was still very confused. He was in a hospital, hooked to a lot of machines and medication IV bags. He was so weak he didn’t even try to sit upright. Scenes started to pop up in his head and he squeezed Keira’s mother’s hand.
“Where’s Keira? Is she all right?”
“We don’t know,” her father came to stand beside his wife. “We had hoped you’d help us with information to find her.”
“For how long have I been sedated?”
“You weren’t exactly sedated; but, you were shot three nights ago. You’ve undergone two surgeries; you’ve been in and out of consciousness since then. This is the first time you are able to speak with any sense at all.”
Declan frowned at Mr. Ashe, who added, “I mean, you said some pretty crazy things in between surgeries. At some point, you appeared to be talking to your deceased mother. Then, you accused somebody of murdering ‘her’. We weren’t sure if you were referring to your mother or Keira. You could have been simply hallucinating, too. Either way, we were terrified.”
Declan didn’t remember any of that. He closed his eyes trying to concentrate. His head hurt like hell. Some things started to come back to him. He opened his eyes again.
“O’Hallon came to the safe house when we were packing to leave. I don’t know how he got inside it undetected. I didn’t hear anything until he shot Garda Murphy. He threatened to shoot me in order to make Keira go away with him. She tried to convince me it would be the best thing to do. I obviously didn’t agree with her. He took advantage of our distraction to pull her away from me. He shot me before I had time to do anything,” he paused. “I heard Keira screaming before I blacked out. Everything after that is a blur.”
“He stabbed two police officers outside the house, then, shot at you and the young female officer inside it. He took Keira away in the car you were going to use,” Megan explained. “The investigators believe he hid inside their car because the police didn’t find any other vehicles in the area or any footprints coming in from the road to the house.”
“How did he manage to do that?”
“Earlier that day, Inspector Heller had parked his car in an alley, near Ashling Green’s house, when he went there to investigate her murder. They believe that’s when he hid inside the trunk of Heller’s car.”
“If he escaped from the safe house in the police SUV, they’ll be able to track him down in no time.”
“That’s the thing, Declan. O’Hallon has disabled the GPS.”
“Motherfucker!”
“No argument there.”
“How are the officers doing?”
“Morris and Kerry lost a lot of blood. They are still unconscious, but, the doctors say they’ll recover. Murphy didn’t make it.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” there was a lump in his throat that made his voice sound strangled. “She was a sweet girl. She died protecting us.”
“You almost didn’t make it yourself. Although the police got there fast, you had lost a lot of blood from the bullet wound. You were in very bad shape. Unfortunately, they were too late to save Garda Murphy. O’Hallon shot her in the head. She died instantly.”
“How did the police get there so fast?”
“They knew there was something off when the officers failed to contact Inspector Heller at the time they were supposed to call.”
“Lucky me he probably wanted me to die slowly and make me suffer,” was Declan’s humorless reply. “How did you get here so fast, Mr. Ashe?”
“We grew tired of waiting in Boston. There was nothing we could do, either at home or here. We were aware of that, but we decided we should come. We wanted to be near Keira, when the police found that monster and set her free.”
“Back then, we still believed these cops were capable people, Declan. A fat lot of good it did us, huh, dad?”
“Megan, we’re all frustrated and worried, but the police officers are doing the best they can under the circumstances. O’Hallon is a certified lunatic. However, he’s no moron. He had eluded the police for years before he attacked Keira. Besides, I know they’ll find her.”
There was a brief silence in the room. The Ashes held their breaths waiting for Declan to explain himself. When he remained quiet, Claire grew impatient.
“What do you mean? How can you be so sure?”
“Honestly, I don’t know how I know it. I just know it. You can call it intuition, or wishful thinking; but, I’m sure Keira will come back to us soon.”
Another long silent pause stretched itself before Megan broke it.
“Now who’s the lunatic? Or is it the meds talking?”
Declan didn’t answer her petulant remark because he had fallen asleep again.
“Well, that answers my question, doesn’t it?”
“Megan, go get some air, will you? You’re driving us crazy.”
She was about to tell her mother off when she realized she had been pretty unreasonable since Keira had been attacked. She couldn’t help it. She loved her little sister too much and would never forgive herself if anything happened to Keira. After all, wasn’t she the one who had convinced Keira she should go on that damn trip? Hadn’t she told Keira, time and again, she should be more adventurous, more
self-confident? She hated herself for having said those things. Now, there was nothing she could do to change that.
When Declan woke up again, half an hour later, he was surprised to see Dwyer, Colin and Brandon sitting down and waiting to talk to him.
“How are you holding up, little rascal?”
“Wow, it took us a deadly wound to reunite the Slane brothers, huh? Do me a favor, Brandon. Next time you want to see me, get yourself shot, will you?”
The two older brothers managed to hug Declan without knocking over any of the medical apparatus surrounding his bed. It wasn’t an easy feat. Although they joked about the situation, Brandon and Colin had been worried sick about Declan since they had heard about Keira’s attack on the news. They had contacted the Gardai early on and had been updated about all developments. The brothers might not have had time to meet often over the years, but they never lost touch. They loved one another very deeply.
“How is my new sister-in-law doing? When was that, two years ago, right? It’s about time she realized the mistake she made when she married you, Brandon.”
“Fuck off! She’s blissfully happy with me. And it’s been almost four years.”
“Wow, that long? Congratulations, brother. I mean it! When are you going to give me a nephew? I’d love to have a niece, too. Or several,” Declan laughed at his brother’s terrified expression.
“God forbid I should have a bunch of daughters. I wouldn’t know what to do with them.”
“That’s true. I have two and they’re a handful. You wouldn’t survive a house full of them.”
“How are Iris and Allyson, by the way? I miss them so much. I’m sorry I haven’t been down here as often as I should.”
“Nonsense. You have your life, and your work, in Dublin. Erin and I know that quite well.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about father’s disease the last time we spoke, Colin?”
“You never ask about him. I don’t blame you for that,” he raised a hand to stop Declan’s argument. “I know your reasons. I respect your decision to wipe father’s memory out of your life. I preferred a different approach. I also don’t want to have anything to do with him, but I had to keep in touch with his nurse. I manage his expenses, remember? Last time I spoke with Mrs. Michaelson, she told me he wasn’t doing so badly, considering his disease.”