by Mario Routi
One day, as Rebecca was on her way home from school, Leylah started sending her text messages, one after another. She sent thirty-five in total and it was the last thing she did. The police found her dead beneath the trees, with the syringe beside her, having taken a fatal overdose. Rebecca had copied those text messages down and always carried them with her. She took out the paper from her pocket, unfolded it and started to read. She had numbered Leylah’s messages.
It’s very windy and the rain is freezing. I’m in a park. The damp sparrows are nestling in the foliage. Dazed by the blasts of the north wind, they are barely clinging on.
You can keep out the cold with clothes, a roof, a fire and blankets, but nothing keeps out the damp. It gets everywhere and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s penetrated my skin and my bones and got through to my very marrow. I’m drenched!
Why do we harm each other, even kill each other? I’ve harmed the man I sleep with. I led him astray, wrecked him, like a sly iceberg that sinks an unsuspecting ship. Everyone is vulnerable to such attacks.
We need a new, radical, simple and harmonious approach to life - just to return life to normal. A dog, a horse and a cat have the same rights. Peace, humanity, love, brotherhood, equality, justice, kindness and freedom are all essential values that hardly exist!
Fairy tales can’t bring peace to the soul, nor can they mirror dreams. Besides, there is no fairy tale more real than the illusions of life that crush destiny.
You’re a special friend, Rebecca, and I love you. Your eyes are always filled with love. Never before have I seen so much love in a person’s eyes. You’re like good lyrics that don’t need to be set to music. On their own they are rhapsody, hymns, tragedy, comedy, opera, musical, songs - they are poetry, and poetry can’t be taught or learned. The same is true for love. Thanks for standing by me. But it’s too late, because I’ve done great harm to another person. If it wasn’t for that, you would have saved me for sure.
We can escape from everybody. Never, though, from ourselves! Because... the most important things... are those we hide.
With the tip of my tongue, I slowly, carefully lick my upper lip from one end to the other, as if I were putting on lipstick. Then... from that side back again. Now I bite my lower lip tenderly, like a mother, so that it won’t complain.
We bring down the curtain. The audience weeps or laughs, without applauding.
I looked too deep and too abruptly at the world. That’s why I became disappointed. I wasn’t prepared at all. The hopeful messages were all fakes.
The birds train their wings before they dare to fly. I never learned to scan the skies, to sail the lakes or to listen to the seas and rivers.
We’re all looking for a better world. Where is it hidden? How are we going to discover it?
Useful metals do not grow by themselves. First we must dig and hurt the Earth. Then we must burrow like rats to extract them.
It’s very difficult to become human and even more difficult to stay so. Can we live on the misery of others?
Methodical brainwashing rules! You become a will-less zombie and a fanatical patron of humiliation.
Clever demons manically strike the bells, while inquisitors pluck the angels’ feathers...
Preachers of truth have sealed their mouths with sticking plaster!
How can you tell the innocent from the guilty? They look so much alike.
Although there is a wind, the clouds decided to walk the earth with me, so a thick fog has fallen ...
The sparrows are still hanging on there. They’ve made it.
I’m walking wearily beneath the trees on the slippery grass...
Moments don’t exist... they become one with nothingness!
The lost courage... There’s no extra courage in the colourless sky for me to cadge.
I began to blow out the stars, one by one... With the last blow, my breath had ended and the sky turned black ...
The toys are lost! Have they stolen them? Hidden them, sold them, exchanged them? Who knows? But it costs a lot to get your hands on the new ones.
Life laughs only when kids laugh. Laugh... laugh and cry!
The sea, the rivers and the lakes are full of signs warning: DEEP WATER! HE WHO FALLS GETS DROWNED ... Well, he who falls gets saved, say I...
Why should we scare the others, since we know what fear is like?
When we climb up, we must try our best.
The bottomless chasm is waiting with its mouth open, pulling like a whirlpool.
I feel like the guinea pig and the experimenter at the same time, even though, like Doctor Jekyll, I know the outcome of the experiment.
It’s as if I were fishing on dry land or cutting firewood in the sea. I operate on society without a scalpel.
I am now looking at my legs... Flesh, veins, nerves will all disappear and only bones will remain. My soul shall sleep for ever, embracing a skeleton!
I can feel the beginning of Death... He is coming for me right now at a gallop...
Drops of rain are giving me farewell kisses...
Rebecca sighed, re-folded the paper and put it back in her pocket. She then pulled her clothes off. Slowly, she bent her knees, lifted her arms, leaped up and began to fly, enjoying the feel of the air against her naked skin.
Swooping down to the surface of the lake, she allowed her toes, belly and breasts to graze the surface before rotating, spinning first face up, then face down. Her movements reflected her natural grace, harmony and sense of rhythm. After a while she gently dropped into the lake and swam to shore, where she lay on her back, still naked, and smiled calmly at the stars. She had made her decision!
16
A Few Hours Before Present Time
Rebecca rode into the family yard. Her grandparents were in the carriage and ready to leave.
“Rebecca dear, there you are,” Tony said. “We’re going now to see Field Marshal Foster. He asked for us urgently!”
“And guess what,” Lisa said. “Your parents have arrived with your other grandparents! They’re all here to see you receive the Flame.”
“Oh, Grandma, it’ll be great to see them all again! It’s been a month now!”
Rebecca excitedly waved them off before heading into the house to prepare herself for the Ceremony.
***
The tiers of Utopia’s amphitheatre filled up with the families of the hundreds of new Orizons sitting in the front, but Rebecca’s seat remained conspicuously empty.
There were three thrones on the dais by the Flame. Princess Felicia, regally attired in pure white, was already waiting and looked up as Pegasus appeared in the sky carrying Lord Life and her mother, the Lady Danae, both of whom were dressed in the elegant white robes of ancient Greece. As he landed on the dais, a huge cheer rose from the crowd. Felicia hugged her parents as they dismounted and they all sat together.
Bull entered carrying the huge crystal plate with the Torch and the Flame of the White Sun. Lighting the crystal lantern from the Flame, he placed it on a table in front of the Wise Tree and cast his gaze over the assembly before walking across to Felicia and bending down.
“Princess, Rebecca is missing,” he whispered in her ear.
“Let’s wait a few minutes,” Felicia said, a frown flickering across her brow. “Ask if her family knows anything.”
Bull nodded and walked down to Tony. “Do you know where Rebecca is?”
“We came on ahead. Don’t you worry, Bull. She won’t be long.”
The minutes continued to pass and Rebecca was still missing.
“We can’t wait any longer,” Lord Life said, standing up to a surge of applause.
“Dear citizens of Utopia, we are gathered here today for the ceremony of the Flame. Only a few of the trainees have c
hosen to return to Earth and, with our special advanced technology, we have erased the Land of the White Sun from their memories, replacing these memories with earthly experiences. What they lived through here will seem to them like a blurred memory from a dream. All the rest have chosen to join us in our fight against Evil.”
Felicia crossed to the table, took up the crystal lantern and held it high above her head as Lord Life continued.
“One girl who has chosen to receive the Flame has not arrived yet, but the hour grows late and we need to proceed with the ceremony.”
“It is time.” Felicia announced. “Let the young Orizons approach now, one by one.”
One after another, the hundreds of trainees received the Flame, inhaling it deeply for a few moments before taking their places in front of the thrones. As the last one passed by, Felicia shot an anxious look over the crowd - hoping to see Rebecca running forward - before gently setting the Flame down.
The crowd roared their approval and the Wise Tree rattled its branches excitedly. Lord Life stood up and hushed the crowd once more.
“That you are now Orizons is a secret you must never reveal to anyone. We often feel the urge to discuss our secrets with a friend or a lover or someone with whom we share other things in our lives. This is an error that no Orizon must ever make.
“The moment that even one other person knows our secret it is sure to leak out. That is absolutely certain. If we, the very ones it concerns, cannot keep the secret to ourselves, how can we expect another person to keep it when they have no reason to do so?
“If you feel the need to share the secret, if you absolutely have to unburden yourself, then tell it to the rivers, the flowers, the trees and the moon.”
The crowd once more broke into cheers and applause, the peoples’ spirits warmed by the afternoon sun. All, that is, except Rebecca’s family, who were now exchanging worried looks, and Bull and Felicia, both of whom were frowning as they constantly scanned the crowd for a glimpse of her face.
Once the ceremony was over, Lord Life, Felicia, Bull, Foster and Rebecca’s family came together at the farmyard to discuss what might have happened.
“It’s sad,” Foster said, “but I can only think she must have changed her mind and decided not to take the Flame. Perhaps she’s embarrassed about it and has ridden off somewhere to compose her thoughts.”
“It doesn’t sound like her,” Tony said. “Maybe she was a little troubled, yes, but she had chosen the Flame. I don’t believe she would have changed her mind. God, I hope she isn’t hurt. I’m getting very worried.”
“I’m going to look for her by Domus,” Bull said, gathering the reins of his powerful warhorse and spurring it to a gallop. Foster jumped up onto his horse, nodded respectfully but curtly to Julius, and rode after Bull. Adrianna ran into Julius’s arms. As he hugged his wife to his chest, he felt her shivers of apprehension and wished he could find the words to comfort her.
17
Present Time
It was before dawn as Rebecca and Turgoth walked out into the garden. Rebecca could feel the circulation returning to her legs as she was finally able to move freely. Towering above her and watching her every move was the Sphinx Calphie.
Stopping by a bed of scented, delicate roses, she passed her hand over the blooms, enjoying the sensation of the petals against her palm.
“Look,” she said to Turgoth, “how soft these tender and pliable flowers are, yet they are able to pierce the hard ground like nails when they need to survive.”
Turgoth’s lips were set into a hard line, yet his eyes were still soft as he listened to her. How warm, expressive and familiar his eyes seemed to her. It felt like they emitted a strange radiance that penetrated and explored her. She felt that he was reading her mind and knew what she was going to say even before she did. It was like having a spy inside her head, browsing through her mind page by page.
But at the same time, she felt that she had been reading his thoughts, too. She had the impression that they could sit silently opposite each other, just looking into each other’s eyes, and be able to conduct a complete and meaningful conversation without either of them having to open their mouths. It was a strange game of spiritual communication which, she had to admit, she was finding enjoyable as well as frightening.
“Rebecca, you are a unique person,” Turgoth said after a few moments of silence, “which is why what I say now is hard. We have three options. The first is that you stay and help us seize the Flame, then we join together to help fight evil on Earth.”
Rebecca looked at him and her eyes said it all. Turgoth nodded and went on.
“I thought as much, but you do see - I had to ask? Second: Will you at least stay uninvolved? Go back to Earth. Choose not to become an Orizon. If you promise that you won’t take the Flame, I’ll let you go free right now.”
Rebecca shook her head. She stopped walking and looked directly at him. He seemed to have aged from the strain of his situation.
“Although I struggled with the decision to take the Flame right up until last night,” she said, “my mind has been made up since then. I cannot betray my people, nor myself.”
Turgoth looked away and his eyes turned inwards.
“Then you leave me no choice,” he said, his voice cracking. “Alas, you must die!”
“You must do as you see fit. Even though I have not lived long, I can accept death. If you choose to take my life now, here amongst the flowers, you would honour the respect you have shown to me.”
The pain she could see in his eyes seemed to be burning them red. He turned away in a vain attempt to hide his feelings and took her arm, gently steering her back inside, away from Calphie’s stare.
In a corner of the room, Rebecca’s sword still leant against the wall where the Sharkans had left it. Saying nothing, Turgoth left her in the room without turning the key in the door. She stared at her sword. This was surely the chance he had promised her. She sighed and returned to the sofa.
18
A Few Hours Before Present Time
Later that night at the Newton family farm, Bull’s face was half lit by a lamp, half in shadow, his features dark but restrained. Lord Life was staring at him, trying to read his thoughts in the heavy silence.
“Speak up, Bull!” he said eventually.
Bull took a deep breath. “My Lord, I fear that Rebecca has been abducted by the forces of Beast!”
Foster exploded. “What? Why? For thousands of years they have kept to the rules. What reason do they have to violate them now?”
“What do you think then, Field Marshal?” asked Felicia. “Where is Rebecca?”
“She has changed her mind - that’s all.”
“If Rebecca had changed her mind, she would have told us,” Julius said, his annoyance at Foster creeping into his voice.
“My instincts tell me this too,” Bull agreed. “Rebecca is too honourable, General Foster. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s not.”
Lord Life’s steely gaze swept around the room as he weighed up the possibilities. “Sadly Bull, I agree with you. Felicia, send a messenger to Turgoth. Advise him that I request a meeting with him at his castle as soon as possible.”
Bull stood and started pacing the room.
“What is it now, Bull?” Lord Life asked.
“With all due respect, my Lord, we should not give him warning. We must catch him off guard - that is the only way.”
Lord Life thought for a few more moments. “Yes, you’re right. Very well, we shall set off as soon as it’s dawn.”
***
As the first rays of the sun appeared, Lord Life, Felicia, Bull and Julius galloped out of the fortress gates, all of them dressed for battle.
19
Present Time
When Turgoth returned to the room, Rebecca looked at him
calmly. He glanced at the sword that stood untouched in the corner and shook his head in a mixture of puzzlement and sadness. Then, he pulled out a length of cord.
“The Porth Generals will be here soon to take you to your execution. I have to tie you.” He paused, waiting for her to speak. When she said nothing, he continued. “So, why didn’t you kill me? I had promised to give you the chance, hadn’t I? Your sword was here and you would have been a heroine.”
She remained silent as he stepped up to her, trying to work out what kind of man would leave a sword with someone who might want to kill him. “If he is evil,” she thought, “then who is good?”
Turgoth’s head hung low as he secured her arms tightly behind her back.
“I feel bad about tying you,” he said once he had finished. “But you do see I have to - Look...” He stepped back and threw up his arms as if giving in to someone. “There is something you should know!”
“What?” Rebecca asked.
“If you had taken the Flame, you, like all other Orizons before you, would have become immortal - It’s the biggest secret of all! They only keep it from you so as not to bias your decision. It’s why I’m immortal and the reason why I want my people to get the Flame - so that they can become immortal like Orizons. My people see one another die, as humans do, while Orizons live on forever. Do you still think this is fair?”
She stared at him, stunned, her thoughts racing. She had been wondering why her parents would want her to become a warrior and risk her life, but this explained it. They wanted her to choose the path that would lead her to immortality. What parent wouldn’t wish that for their child?