“Damon, you’ve got visitors.”
“Who?” I ask with a frown on my face. I just got in the right headspace to annihilate this speedball.
“Your parents.” He looks nervous, as if he is waiting for me to explode and lose my temper. But I am glad they are here. I need to talk to them.
“I’ll be right there.” Will turns around and leaves. “Feel free to stay and workout, man. Hopefully I’ll be back in a bit.” I tell Charlie.
“Thanks.”
“What’s your story, man. Why you in here?”
“My son died two years ago. He drowned in our pool while I was on the fucking phone to some slut who kept trying to tempt me away from my missus.” His stern face goes red as he throws a punch at the large bag hanging from the ceiling. “My anger formed from that. How could I let that happen to him? He was only two years old.”
“Shit, I’m sorry, man.” He doesn’t hear me. He’s been transported to another place, and all he can focus on is beating the crap out of the bag. I leave him to it. Sometimes you just need to exhaust yourself so you can get a little bit of peace from your demons.
I knock on the family room door before I open it. I am surprised to see Mum, Dad and Alex. No Callum.
“Damon.” Mum smiles hesitantly at me. I rush over to her and pull her into my arms.
“It’s good to see you,” I whisper in her ear, and her body physically relaxes. “You too, Dad.” I hug him briefly before giving my brother a slap on the back.
We all sit down and Dr. Shilcott starts the session.
“Where’s Callum?” I ask whilst grinning. I know exactly where he is.
“He’s with Sam.” Alex winks at me.
“Oh, yes. We’ve seen lots of her. Such a lovely young lady.” Mum beams.
“Has she settled in to my place ok?”
“Yeah, she’s had lots of company.” Alex chuckles. There is a pause of silence, and Dr. Shilcott asks me a question.
“Damon, how does it feel to see your family?” My hands form into fists and I have to physically force myself to relax them. I wipe my sweaty palms down the front of my shorts and shift in my seat.
“Good. I missed them. All of them.” I look at Mum and smile.
“Do you feel anger?” he asks as he jots down a few notes on his pad.
“Yes, a little.” I am still unhappy that they had rushed to Noble’s side after the fight, while I was getting locked up in this place. All my thoughts go to Ford, his blue eyes, chiseled chest and rippling abs. He was the one that calmed me. Just thinking of him helped. How did I get so invested in this guy? I need to see him in the flesh, and soon. I need to have a private meeting with the doc and find out if leaving early is an option. I finally feel different, finally feel like I’ve got a handle on things.
“Do you want to talk about that?”
“I guess I just feel betrayed that my parents went and saw Noble while I was being locked up in here. I feel like they weren’t here for me.”
“Oh, Damon,” Mum cries. “I couldn’t watch you walk into this place. I had already lost my daughter. It felt like I was losing my son too, my first born. I didn’t know how to help you with your anger issues and I felt like I was failing you.”
“Not just you, sweetheart. Both of us,” Dad says as he wraps his arm around her and she leans into him. My mum and dad have been together for over thirty years. You could see the love and devotion between them. That’s what I want. I feel like I could have that with Ford. But I worry about him coming out to the world. If he’s not accepted in the way he wants to be, then it’ll be tough on him and me. The first thing he’ll do is withdraw and hide back in that closet. I just hope I am enough for him.
It was nice seeing Mum, Dad and Alex. We spent over three hours chatting. It was good to feel little anger when seeing them. I was pleased with myself that I had already come so far.
All my focus was now on meeting Ford as soon as possible.
It was amazing to chat with Damon this morning. To be honest, we have talked most mornings. Whoever is the first one up, starts the video chat. We always say good morning to each other now. It sets the day right in my book. I love seeing Damon looking all sleepy-eyed and sexy. His long hair mussed from sleep. I can only imagine how it will look once we have had a night of good, hard fucking.
I have a session with Doctor Wilks today. I have a few things I want to talk over with her. Plus, I need to put a request form in for my coach. I need to do this if Damon and I have any chance of moving forward once we get out of here. I know that it will be scary as hell, but the thought of not having Damon in my life is scarier.
It’s fucking crazy that I have found someone that I am willing to come out for. I am getting close to ready to let the world see me.
To see the real Ford Matthews.
The Ford Matthews that is gay and proud of it.
My heart tries to break out of my chest as I walk to the doc’s office. I knock on the door and wait for her to call me in.
“Come in.” Her soft voice comes through the door. I push it open and close it behind me, before parking my arse in the chair in front of her. She smiles at me and my body relaxes. She always seems to put me at ease. It has got to do with the fact that she doesn’t judge me or the shitty things I have done.
“How are you, Ford?” she asks.
“I’m good, Doc. Things seems to be getting clearer now. Between talking to you and Spencer, I’ve had a lot to think about. I can see where I messed up. I almost lost everything just for a few minutes of excitement that I can get elsewhere without hurting anyone. The thrill of gambling doesn’t get me going anymore. Other things do.” I smirk to myself and look out the window.
“Other things?” The doc asks, and I snap my head back to look at her and her raised eyebrows.
“Yeah. The buddy system thing you had me do has been great. In fact, I think Damon and I are going to be great friends,” I say, shrugging.
“Just friends?” Her question and face tell me that she doesn’t believe the ‘friends’ comment. I shrug again and look back out the window and watch as two of the younger lads throw a rugby ball back and forth.
“Okay, maybe more than friends. He has been helping me come to terms with being gay and a public figure. I plan on coming out soon. That reminds me, can I request a visit from my coach, please?” I watch as she scribbles in her book, before she looks up at me with a smile on her face.
“That can be arranged, Ford. I am happy that you are working through your issues. I am proud of you. I know that it can be hard in your line of work, but I truly believe that no one will care as much as you think they will.”
“Wicked, thank you. I have you to thank for sorting all the shit in my head. You made me see that I don’t need the gambling in my life. Other things are more important to me.” I give her my best smile to show her that I am genuinely thankful to her. My shoulders relax at getting everything off my chest. I feel lighter. As girly as that sounds, I feel it.
I feel more me.
We talk over a few more things before I make my way to the gym. I need to run and lift weights. I need to make sure that my body doesn’t think it can relax. I plan on getting back on the pitch as soon as I can. I miss the team, the feeling of playing in front of thousands of fans.
Sitting in the doc’s room, my knees bounce a mile a minute. Coach is coming in today and I plan on telling him everything. The request went out and he responded straight away that he would be here the following day. I told Damon last night and he was happy for me, but he also knew how hard this was going to be for me. He’d told me he was there to support me. We’d talked this morning and he’d helped calm my anxiety that was through the roof.
The door clicks open and Coach Valentine walks in. His smile shows he is happy to see me. No more disappointment in his eyes.
“Matthews. How the hell are you, my boy?” I stand, and we hug before sitting back down.
“I’m good, great actually. This place has been a good
thing for me. Thank you for standing by me and making me do this. I will come back a stronger player, Coach. I can promise you that.” I mean everything I say to this man. He gave me a chance when he’d brought me into the club a few years ago.
“I will hold you to that. Now, what is so important that you must see me now.” I swing my panicked eyes to Doctor Wilks and she nods her head in encouragement.
“I need to tell you something, and I am praying on everything that I am that you don't look at me differently. I am still me.” I take a deep breath and start speaking again, “I’m gay, Coach.” His eyes widen in shock, but he doesn’t say anything. I rub my chest, hoping I can stop the erratic beats of my heart. I am sweating like I had just completed a fifty-mile run. I rub my sweaty palms across my thighs. My heart stops when he speaks.
“Okay, and what do you want me to do about it? Give you special treatment because you prefer penis to vagina? Oh, I think not, Ford. You will train and be a team player like the rest of the squad.”
Holy mother-fucking shit on a stick!
That was not what I was expecting him to say. I shake my head and let his words run around my head. He doesn’t care that I am gay. He really doesn’t. Wow.
“Are you serious, Coach? I just told you I was gay.”
“I heard you, boy. I am old but not deaf. The team will treat you no different. They aren’t those type of men. They believe you should be you. No one will say anything or treat you differently. Now, you need to get your head straight and come back to the team. We all miss you. I know some of the boys have asked to come and see you. Would you like that? Would that help with the decision to come out as gay?” I nod my head.
“Yeah, Coach, that would be great. It would be good to see the lads, and… yeah, see how they react to my little announcement.”
I never thought that I would be accepted as being gay in my sport. I know that it is accepted everywhere, but the fear is still there. I will get through this, with the help of my family, friends and Damon.
I leave the room after saying goodbye to Coach Valentine. Talking to Damon is the only thing on my mind. I jog to my room and start up the laptop, really fucking hoping that he is close by to chat with me.
I click on his name and wait for him to answer. He doesn’t keep me waiting. I bite my lip when his face comes on the screen.
“Hey,” I say, sounding all breathy.
“Hey, what’s got you all breathless?”
“I just jogged back from my session with the doc and my coach,” I explain.
“Breathless looks good on you.”
“Fucking pervert.” I wink at him. I settle on my bed, resting the device on my thighs. “So, I did what you asked.”
“You did?”
“I did, and he shocked the hell out of me. He told me that just because I am gay, I shouldn’t expect special treatment.” I laugh, and Damon laughs with me, but I can see the slight shock on his face.
“I’m proud of you. Now, show me some abs.”
I chuckle but do what he is asking for. I set the laptop down next to me and lean forward, gripping the neck of my t-shirt and pulling it off. I am not ashamed of my body. I work hard for it to look like this.
“There. Now you.” I smirk at him and watch as he removes his tank top. He must have been working out in the gym. He looks sexy as fuck right now.
“You’re hot. You know that, right?”
I wink at him and answer,
“I know. It’s a good thing you are hot too, because we can look sexy as fuck together. Can you imagine looking at ourselves in the mirror while we fuck?” I am panting slightly, and my cock is getting harder by the second. Hell, just the sight of his chest gets me hard. Damon licks his lips and a groan slips past my lips.
“I need more, Damon,” I say, sounding breathy again.
“Tell me what you need.” I move over to the bed and angle the laptop, so he can see all of me laying on the bed, t-shirt off and just left in a pair of shorts.
“I really wish I could touch you. Feel you against me.” Just that thought has me hard. His body underneath mine… Fuck! I grab my cock and squeeze. A shiver slides over my body. He needs to calm the fuck down. I push my shorts down and kick them off, so I’m just left in my boxers with my cock trying to escape.
“Unbutton your jeans,” I demand.
“Okay. Do you want them off or just unbuttoned?”
“Just unbuttoned, and then I want to see your hand disappearing inside.” I watch a smirk cross his face as he slowly lowers his hand into his jeans. I can see the moment he grasps his cock as his head falls back slightly and he lets out a hiss.
“Fuck, Damon. God, I wish it was your hand wrapped around my cock right now. I am so fucking hard.”
“Pull it out, so I can see it.” I slouch back on the bed and position my arms under my head, as if I am watching a movie. I love being in control and telling him exactly what to do. The sight of his dick, makes my own jerk with excitement.
“You like what you see? Now, I want to see that fucking monster I know you have hidden in your shorts.” He is stroking his dick, making my mouth water.
“I’m in control here. I want you panting and begging for more. Get rid of those jeans and boxers.” He slips his clothes off, doing whatever I tell him.
“You like being in control, babe?”
“I’m always in control. When I tell you to take my cock into your mouth, you’ll do it. When I tell you to bend your cute little arse over, you’ll do it. You will know how much pleasure you’ll get out of it. Now, take your hands away and place them on the bed.” He does exactly as I request. I’m going to love fucking him so much. I am going to enjoy the feel of his skin against mine. His angry-looking cock is laying against his stomach, and every so often it twitches, as if dying to be caressed.
“We’ll see. But I will play for now. What’s next?”
I blow him a kiss as I slowly push my boxers off my hips. I chuckle as he gets closer to the screen. Like he’ll be able to touch me if he comes close enough.
“I wanna hear you panting as you come close to release. But you’d better not come without me.” I demand to Ford, as he keeps stroking his cock.
“I want to touch you, baby. God, that cock is the God of all cocks.”
“You’ll be feeling me for days.” I wink at him and he whimpers as his movements get faster. I match him as I grab hold of my cock and pump my hand. “Jesus Christ,” I groan.
“I’m close, Damon. Fucking hell, I am going to come so hard. Make me come hard, babe.”
“Do it. Let go. Let me see how I make you feel. Now!” I demand as my own release shoots over my stomach, some hitting my chest, as I watch Ford’s head pushing into the pillows on his bed and his hips thrusting up as he shoots his load all over himself.
“Fuck, that was hot,” I pant. My skin is buzzing with need to touch this man in person.
“Holy hell, that was crazy hot. Damnit, Damon. I can’t wait to touch you for real. If that was anything to go by, we are going to blow the fuck up.”
“The sheets will certainly be on fire.” I chuckle as he does. What the hell has this man done to me? I’ve fallen for him, that is for sure.
“More than the sheets, I say. My muscles are hurting from coming so hard. God, what the fuck are you doing to me, Damon. My body will ache for days once we finally get to meet in person.”
“I say we disappear somewhere for a week or two and be naked the whole time. Will your brother mind that?” The thought of being alone with him for several days sounds like heaven. No interruptions and no bloody video calling. Skin on skin.
“Who gives a fuck what Nick says. I need to see you. To feel and taste you, babe. I can sort my family out, and the doc. Do you think they will let us out early?”
“My recovery is going really well. Much better than I ever expected. I’m going to see the doc tomorrow and ask if it’s possible.” I yawn and stretch my arms above my head. My cum is still coating my body.
Shit, I need to clean it off. I lean over the bed and grab the box of tissues. I wipe my release off and attempt to throw the dirty tissues in the bin. I miss. Good job I didn’t play basketball.
“I will do the same then. I will see if Doctor Wilks will let me go early. I think we have both come a long way in a short time. I am fucking proud of us. Our issues are ours to deal with, and I think we have done that.”
“We sure have. Plus, we both have a goal to reach now: seeing each other as soon as possible. I’m exhausted.” I yawn again. “I’m going to get some sleep. Night, gorgeous.”
“Ditto. Night, babe. Sleep well.”
I am standing in Dr. Shilcott’s office at eight in the morning. I’m keen to talk to him and find out where I stand on getting released early. Ford and I had a quick chat this morning. He had been getting ready to go for a run and I’d needed to get to the doc’s office. It was nice seeing his face every morning. When he was sleepy, he was even sexier - if that was at all even possible. The way his eyes sparkle when they settle on me, sets my heart racing.
“Good morning, Damon.” Dr. Shilcott gestures for me to take a seat, and I sit on the edge whilst I wait for him to get himself sorted. “How can I help you this early in the morning?”
“Well…” I was actually nervous to ask. What if he said no? Would all my hard work be a waste of time? Would I react with anger?
“Yes.” He steeples his fingers together and rests his chin on them as he looks at me.
“I wanted to ask… Um… Is there such a thing as people being released early? I mean, I feel as if I’ve come a long way. I feel so much more in control, and I think the yoga has definitely helped with that. Who would have ever have thought that Damon ‘Hot Head’ Vardy would enjoy yoga.” I chuckle to myself.
“Some people have been discharged early. We’ll need to review all your files and I’ll need to talk to Will, Dr. Tamer and Zara.”
“When will I have an answer?”
“Within the next week I should think.”
“Thanks, Doc.” I climb to my feet and shake his hand.
Defeating the Odds Page 12