For Ethan and Byron
Contents
Title Page
Dedication
1. A Holiday of Horrors
2. The Secret of the Pool
3. Battle of the Blob
4. Riddle Me This
5. Airport Sludgery
6. Slime’s Up
7. Supermarket Showdown
About the Author
Copyright
1. A Holiday of Horrors
‘Come on in, Liam,’ greeted Evan Crogan’s mum cheerily. ‘He’s in his room, you can go right up. Mind the brains on the stairs.’
Gripping the rolled holiday brochure in his fist, Liam scooted up the stairs to Evan’s bedroom door, where a large ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign hung over a colourful home-made movie poster for Revenge of the Killer Snails II.
Even in a house where you had to be ready for anything, he still jumped back in surprise as a towering, tentacled mutant suddenly burst from the room. The creature grunted a muffled ‘Yo, Liam’ before it skidded on a rubber brain, bounced down the stairs and staggered away, swearing loudly as its huge wobbly head took out a ceiling light.
‘I see you got your bro playing the monster again,’ noted Liam, poking his head into Evan’s room.
It was no surprise. Being the tallest kid in the neighbourhood, Evan’s brother always got to play the monster. Most of the neighbours didn’t even look twice now when they spotted him lumbering about the garden with fountains of bright green blood spurting out of him.
‘The evil Lord Krengor was about to meet his doom by gamma radiation bombardment,’ grumbled Evan, sitting cross-legged on the floor, eyes still glued to the viewing screen of his camcorder. ‘But he had to go to rugby practice.’
He sighed and shook his head, clearly infuriated that something as mindless as sport was interfering with his movie-making schedule.
Liam removed a half-eaten cheeseburger and a plastic chainsaw from a beanbag and flopped down.
‘Ever think about going abroad for some location shooting?’ he suggested. ‘Maybe somewhere a bit exotic and unusual?’
‘Abroad?’ queried Evan, warily. With his pasty-white skin and wispy red hair, Evan looked like he would dissolve if he ever saw sunshine.
‘My dad’s got a last-minute DJ gig in a Spanish hotel. It’s a tiny place, looks really quiet. You can come along if you like, it’s only for a few days before half-term ends.’
‘Is your sister going?’
‘Yeah, but she’ll just sit inside and do puzzles or something, she won’t bother us. She’s forgiven you now anyway.’
Evan flinched at the memory. He had once tried to persuade Sophie Brodie to appear as an extra in School for Zombies, only for her to tell him where he could shove his camera. And his plan to film her anyway had ended badly after he’d lurched in front of her as a rotting ghoul. Her scream had been genuine all right, but definitely not worth the beating he’d taken.
‘Check it out,’ said Liam, offering the opened holiday brochure. ‘Kind of creepy-looking, I reckon.’
Evan pored over the pictures of the hotel for a moment, his eyes widening as he scanned the images.
‘This is not bad,’ he enthused. ‘I could definitely get some footage for Breakfast for the Undead here.’
‘You’re up for it then?’ beamed Liam.
‘Well, I’ll have to write a shooting script for the film first. And I’ll need to ask my mum if I can go. And sun cream, of course – I’ll need serious amounts of sun cream.’
‘Great! I’ll let my dad know. We’re flying on Thursday, better get your stuff ready.’
‘Are you sure your sis isn’t mad at me anymore?’ added Evan.
‘Don’t worry, it’ll be just fine,’ soothed Liam.
Evan looked unconvinced.
When Liam picked up the brochure to leave, he was too excited to notice that the photos of the hotel pool seemed to be shimmering slightly, as though the water was rippling on the page.
‘I still can’t believe you had to invite him along,’ hissed Sophie to Liam for about the tenth time, her nose wrinkling in disgust.
Liam sighed. His plan to bring Evan on the trip hadn’t exactly gone well so far. Especially on the plane, when his Idiot’s Guide to Making Monster Guts from Sausages had fallen onto a fellow passenger’s lap, making the man reach for his sick bag. Now they were in a midnight taxicab to the hotel, Liam could tell from his sister’s expression that things weren’t about to get any easier.
‘Seems a long way from the coast for a resort,’ said Liam’s dad, as they watched the brightly-lit Spanish shoreline fade to dark and mountainous countryside.
‘People not come here so much,’ said the driver in a thick accent. ‘And when they do, sometimes they not come back.’
‘Oh, really? I guess they must like it here then.’
Liam and Evan glanced at each other, while Sophie winced as an enormous yellow insect splattered against the window.
A further ten minutes’ driving brought them to the bottom of a steeply-sloping dirt road, with high stone walls on either side.
‘Okay, only crazy peoples go further,’ announced the driver, drawing the cab to a sudden halt. ‘Bye-bye.’
‘Dad!’ wailed Sophie, as the driver began dumping their suitcases by the roadside. ‘Do something! There are giant bugs everywhere, we’ll be eaten alive!’
‘This is just like Transylvania,’ whispered Evan to Liam. ‘The local peasants always flipped out near Dracula’s castle.’
The four of them watched in dismay as the taxicab pulled away into the night, leaving only a hazy moon to show the road ahead.
‘Don’t worry, kids,’ reassured Liam’s dad. ‘We’ll just have to make the best of it, it can’t be too far.’
‘Let’s send Evan first,’ said Sophie. ‘He’s so gross the bugs will probably just die if they eat him.’
‘There’s no scientific basis for that at all,’ snapped Evan.
‘We’ll walk together,’ said Liam’s dad. ‘It’s safer that way.’
The hill proved hard work with the luggage to carry and Sophie shrieking every time she heard the buzz of wings near her. Nobody wanted to think about what was making the sickly crunching sounds under their feet.
At the top of the road, a set of tall iron gates appeared, the only opening in a pale wall that was almost covered in creeping vines. Beyond the gates, it was possible to see the outline of a large building looming from the darkness.
‘Well done everybody,’ said Liam’s dad, pressing a buzzer on the gates. ‘This looks like the place.’
Evan leaned over to Liam as the gates creaked open. ‘Watch your back,’ he whispered. ‘Their greatest weapon is always surprise.’
Liam gulped as the four of them entered the grounds, the ghostly apartment blocks rising from thick and tangled clumps of vegetation that had a sickly-sweet odour.
The entire hotel appeared to be in darkness. The only light came from the large lagoon pool in the middle of the grounds, its murky waters glowing under blue lanterns.
‘Not too bad really,’ said Liam’s dad bravely.
The shadowy figure that suddenly stepped into the pathway drew an intake of breath from them all. Sophie issued one of her famously shrill screams while Evan immediately assumed his vampire-killer kung-fu defence pose.
‘Ah, excellent,’ rasped the crooked figure, rubbing its spindly hands together. ‘You’ve arrived.’
2. The Secret of the Pool
‘Watch if we go past any mirrors,’ Evan advised, as they followed the strange character who’d greeted them. ‘If you can’t see his reflection we’re in trouble. I’ll try and see if he photographs – the Undead usually don’t.’
/> The man leered as he beckoned them on. Wearing a maroon and gold waistcoat and glossy boots, he had a waxy pencil moustache, veiny see-through skin and dead-fish eyes. He’d introduced himself as the hotel manager, but Liam thought he looked more like a cross between a circus ringmaster and a grumpy tadpole.
Evan was still grappling with his camcorder as the manager led them into a small reception area with dark-stained chairs and immense cobwebs hanging from the ceiling.
Spotting a large beetle scuttling across the reception desk, the manager snatched the insect into his mouth and noisily crunched on it.
Sophie looked like she was going to throw up.
‘We keep the cleanest hotel here!’ boasted the manager, a beetle leg still hanging from the corner of his mouth. ‘No bugs in our kitchens!’
‘Dad,’ moaned Sophie, her face still green, ‘I don’t like Spain.’
‘It will be good to have music playing here,’ leered the manager. ‘It will bring new life.’
Liam caught Evan stuffing a clove of garlic into his mouth.
‘I’m going to smell so bad that nothing will want to eat me,’ he mumbled.
Liam didn’t think he smelled that great to begin with. Pulling his grubby old trainers off would probably have done the job.
‘Can’t wait to get started,’ beamed Liam’s dad. ‘Where are we playing?’
The manager opened a door from the reception area to showthem the entertainments hall. The room beyond appeared to be a large, darkened ballroom, the air thick with dust. Liam saw that tables and chairs had been laid out on the dance floor, and that some guests were sitting in silence, their faces blank, their eyes glassy.
‘Tough crowd,’ observed Liam’s dad. ‘Reckon I should be able to get them going with a few good tunes though.’
‘Excellent,’ said the manager, clasping his hands. ‘But it’s very late, you should perhaps go to bed and start tomorrow, yes?’
Evan kept filming with his camcorder as the manager led them through a series of corridors, each one darker and gloomier than the last, as though they were tunnelling into the depths of an ancient tomb. A small flight of steps finally brought them onto their floor, the manager bidding them a peaceful night before lolloping away.
‘Dad, are we seriously not freaking out yet?’ asked Liam.
‘Place just needs a lick of paint, that’s all,’ said Liam’s dad cheerily. ‘Your man with the beetle habit back there seemed a bit strange, but I’m sure everything will be fine when the sun’s out.’
Nobody looked very convinced about that, but with nowhere else to go, staying the night seemed the least scary option.
‘Better watch out for booby-traps,’ said Liam, as he warily entered his and Evan’s room.
‘It’s just a good thing for you that I’m here, that’s all,’ said Evan, busily wedging a chair under the door handle. ‘If we’re going to do battle with evil forces you’re going to need an expert.’
Liam watched as Evan unpacked his luggage, pulling out various vials and potions and a large wooden stake, which he stuffed under his pillow. He sat down by the door and waited until Liam had got into his bed before turning out the light, listening carefully for any sounds in the corridor.
Liam was just about to start snoozing when a thunderous fart vibrated across the floorboards.
‘Evan, that totally stinks,’ he complained.
‘It’s my garlic defence system,’ whispered Evan. ‘I’ll try and squeeze a few more out. It’ll stop any vampires coming in.’
Liam nodded off to sleep thinking that vampires were very sensible.
‘Liam! Wake up! Quick!’
At Evan’s urgent call, Liam awoke into darkness and began flailing in panic, finally landing in a tangled heap on the floor.
‘Check this out,’ said Evan, his voice hushed. ‘There’s something going on with the pool.’
Liam joined Evan at the grimy windows and gazed at the swimming pool, which seemed to be bubbling and spitting like a prehistoric swamp, great pockets of gas belching to the surface and loudly popping.
‘This needs further investigation,’ announced Evan, grabbing his camcorder.
‘Are you nuts? Your horrible stink won’t protect you out there!’
‘First rule of supernatural combat,’ explained Evan, ‘always surprise them before they surprise you!’
Against his better judgement, Liam followed his friend from the room and through the twisting series of corridors down to the grounds.
Reaching the poolside, they hid behind some thick bushes and peered through the leaves as the water began to churn furiously.
‘What if it’s something like a giant man-eating frog that can slurp up its victims from twenty feet away?’ asked Liam nervously.
‘That’s just silly,’ dismissed Evan. He frowned for a moment then pulled a small notebook from his pocket and on the MOVIE IDEAS page, scribbled, Revenge of Frogzilla.
If Liam was about to protest, he didn’t get the time to do so. Amidst a frenzy of putrid froth and bubbles, a hulking and formless mass suddenly hauled itself from the water onto the side of the pool, its mud-lathered and weed-wrapped body slithering and shifting as though attempting to form a shape. Two antennae slid out then retracted again, then two huge lobster claws extended to snap at the air before they too disappeared.
‘What is that?’ asked Liam, ducking lower in the bush.
‘Looks like a Blobster,’ replied Evan.
‘What’s one of those?’
‘I dunno. Let’s find out!’
The creature from the pool continued to reshape itself like a wad of putty, stretching in one direction and then another, a thick steam coming from its foaming skin. Finally it seemed to collapse in on itself, melting to a thin river of green slime that began to wind its way from the pool.
‘Come on,’ said Evan. ‘Let’s see what it’s up to.’
Liam was much more inclined to run in the opposite direction. But Evan seemed in his element, already in a crouching run with the camcorder held to his eye, like an intrepid cameraman for SCARY TV.
The trickle of gunge snaked onto one of the hotel’s outside stairwells, making its way silently up the steps while Evan and Liam followed as close as they dared. When the slime reached the top, it flowed along the terrace past a series of rooms until it came to the last one, where it gathered itself up and forced itself under the door.
‘This looks bad,’ said Liam.
Evan nodded in agreement, both of them beginning to tiptoe towards the room.
Before they’d got halfway there, the door burst open and a middle-aged man in his pyjamas came fleeing onto the terrace. He looked as though he wanted to scream, but only croaking sounds came from his gaping mouth.
Behind him appeared the Blobster, seething like an angry jelly, various claws and appendages growing and receding from its body as it quickly bore down on its prey. In seconds, it had overtaken the man and wrapped itself around him, making loud squelching noises as it greedily swallowed him. After a large puff of steam and what sounded like a satisfied belch, the creature spat out a pair of slippers and gave a wobble of pleasure.
‘Run?’ suggested Liam.
But Evan had already gone, his red hair bobbing in the distance. As Liam raced after him, heart in his mouth, he couldn’t help but think that Evan could probably be quite good at sports if he wanted to.
When they had reached the safety of their room once more, it took both of them several minutes to catch their breath.
When Evan had finished stuffing a blanket under the door to stop the Blobster sliming beneath it, he watched the camcorder footage he had taken, his face paler than ever as he looked up from the screen.
‘I hate to say it,’ he announced grimly. ‘But I think we could be in trouble.
3. Battle of the Blob
‘You don’t understand!’ protested Liam, as his dad pulled the bath towel away from the bottom of his door. ‘We put that there to protect you.’
‘Come on, Liam,’ scolded his dad, stepping outside the room and locking the door. ‘You’re going to have to do better than that. We’re not leaving, so you’ll just have to make the best of things.’
Sophie flipped the pages of a magazine as she leaned against the wall. ‘So lame, Liam,’ she tutted, without looking up.
‘Excuse me, Mr Brodie,’ said Evan, puffing his chest out, ‘but as an experienced observer of the paranormal, I feel I must warn you that there is a large, gooey entity on the rampage, and my guess is that it intends to blobbify us all.’
‘Blobbify?’
‘Well, the process isn’t scientifically clear,’ said the flustered Evan. ‘But it looks disgusting.’
‘Just try to keep out of trouble you two,’ said Liam’s dad. ‘Sophie and I are going down for breakfast.’
Evan shrugged. ‘And that’s why monsters get away with it,’ he sighed. ‘Nobody ever listens.’
‘We’re not stupid, Evan,’ said Sophie, stepping past him. ‘It’s pretty obvious this is just another one of your dumb movies.’
‘Better not let it absorb your sister,’ muttered Evan to Liam. ‘That’d make it slimy and bad-tempered.’
Liam and Evan decided to skip breakfast and revisit the grounds. Evan insisted on first applying a tube’s worth of sun cream and wearing a large hat. But once outside, they found the entire hotel in the shadow of an ominous black cloud.
Evan pointed out the vacant-looking guests reclining on loungers around the pool. ‘Look at their faces,’ he said. ‘It’s like they’re in a trance. I bet they’re being fed zombie pills to make them easy victims. Your dad and sister could be next.’
Liam wondered for a moment whether a few zombie pills might not be a bad thing for Sophie.
‘We need an advantage,’ pondered Evan. ‘Something we can use.’
The boys scouted around for a while before Liam spotted a rusty pump in the bushes, its long hose coiled in a heap.
Demon from the Deep End Page 1