by Renee Rose
“I don’t know.” I shake my head. “You do something strange to me.”
There. That’s all true. I’m not going to lie to Annabel if I don’t have to.
“I think I should get some air.” I release her and pick up my clothes. When I catch the scent of her pain again, I find myself speaking before I can stop it. “Do you want to come with me?”
Great, Charlie. How’s that going to work?
But the way her face brightens is worth the difficulty this will cause me. And Lord knows she deserves an outing as much as I do. I pull on my jeans and a worn t-shirt and put on a pair of shoes.
“You hungry?” Because I could eat a freaking T-Rex.
“Yeah.”
I pick up the keys to the rental car. “All right, we’ll drive to get some food, then find a place to get some fresh air.”
She grabs her father’s file as we walk out the door. I would tell her to leave it because the goal was to get her mind off this case for a few moments, but I know it won’t do any good. She needs to know what’s in there. And so do I if I’m going to protect her.
I drive to a diner nearby and park the car. She clutches the file tightly, but I notice she hasn’t once cracked it. It’s like she’s afraid of what she’ll find. I can’t say I blame her.
Inside I order three hamburgers and a side of bacon. Annabel gets a cobb salad.
“You on the heart-stopper diet?” Annabel teases.
“Yeah. Breaking into the CIA makes me work up an appetite.” And the monster inside me needs meat.
“Oh, I thought I did that.”
If only she knew. “Oh you did, baby. Believe me. You did.”
She draws a breath and looks down at the file on the table.
“Go on,” I urge.
She opens it, wearing an expression like someone about to face the guillotine. The file is in chronological order with the last mission on the top. I read upside down as she skims the information.
El Salvador.
Agent forwarded his own agenda, acting outside orders from his superiors to incite violence in the villages. His effort to prevent or delay the peace accord failed, and he was killed by locals in a village where he led a massacre on the indigenous people.
Agent Scape cleaned and covered up the incident. Gray’s death reported as a Marine casualty on protection detail.
Annabel covers her mouth with her hand while she reads as if to shield her expression from me. She stares at it way too long, but her eyes are still moving. She must be re-reading. Finally, I reach across and pull her hand from her mouth.
“Baby, there’s no telling what spin they put on this. Agents make life or death decisions in the field all the time. I’m guessing if your father went off the rails it was for a reason we don’t understand. It’s hard for me to imagine an intelligent, well-trained agent would just start promoting his own agenda.”
Annabel’s lips tremble. Tears swim her in beautiful gray eyes. “Do you think he was hired by someone?”
Damn, I don’t want to answer this question. I cant my head to the side. “It’s possible, yes.”
“But who would’ve hired him?”
“Could’ve been a special interest group in our country, could’ve been an international party with a stake in the continued unrest down there.”
“Do you think they know, and that’s what they’re trying to suppress?”
“Well, we know one thing. They don’t want this information out there. Now, if it was just about one rogue agent, I’m not sure they’d go to all the trouble of hunting down a notebook. So, yeah, I’d say there’s something more to this story. Something not in this file.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have kept looking.” Annabel blinks hard but doesn’t manage to keep the tears back. They track down her face, and she presses her lips together and looks out the window to the parking lot. As if on cue, rain starts to fall.
“Listen, I’m sorry for what you found in there, but I’m telling you, you can’t make any judgments about your father or what he did. He’s not here to answer for it himself. I would give him the benefit of the doubt.” I pick up her hand. “If he produced daughters like you and Sarah, I find it hard to believe he betrayed his country or sold out human lives. I really do.”
Annabel’s eyes cut away, bitterness flickering over her face. “We were so young when he died, and he was gone a lot before that. Our mother really raised us.”
I consider her for a long moment, torn between forever keeping my secret buried and the burning need to ease her pain, to give us common ground.
“We have a lot in common,” I finally say. My voice sounds rusty like I hadn’t just been talking. “I found out something disturbing about my father, too. It was the case I needed your help with last month.”
Her gaze turns sharp, the analyst coming to the fore. “Did he work in the labs?”
“I thought he must’ve come from the labs. I presumed he’d been part of a government experiment, similar to Nash Armstrong. They shared some similar traits.” I shake my head. “But it wasn’t what I thought. Not at all. And I found out something... I really didn’t want to know.”
Now she squeezes my fingers. “I’m sorry.”
I clear my throat because I’m entirely unaccustomed to being on the receiving end of anyone’s sympathy, but I’m not about to reject anything that comes from my tender handler. Everything about her is too pure, too raw. Too precious.
“I think the important thing is not to make some decision about whether they were good or bad. Or what it says about you. I mean, is it possible to just remember him as your father?”
She releases my fingers, her mouth twisting into a wry grimace. “Now you sound like Director Scape.”
Our food arrives, and I have to draw a deep breath to keep from attacking the meat before the plate’s even down.
“That’s not what I meant,” I say between inhaling my burgers. “I don’t mean to pretend something or believe in a fairytale. I just mean honor the good memories and withhold judgment on the rest.”
Sadness washes over her and a few more tears fall, but she nods. “Yeah, that makes sense. I’ll try.”
Fuck. It kills me to see her cry. I swallow the last of my burger. Annabel is too distraught to notice I’ve eaten three days’ worth of food in three minutes.
“Come ‘ere,” I order gruffly, and hold out a hand. She unfolds from her seat and takes shelter in my arms. Her weight in my lap feels so good, so right. She sniffs a little, and I rub her back. “I’ve got you. Let it out.”
Her hands fist in my shirt as she sobs and shudders against me. The monster inside me howls silently, suffering right along with our mate. I keep still, willing the predator within to calmness. If the monster had its way, it’d be on a rampage, killing and hunting in response to our mate’s pain. I take big lungfuls of her scent until the need for violence washes away, leaving only Annabel.
When she sits up again, my shirt is wet from her tears. Her eyes are red, and her hair tickles my nose.
She’s never looked more beautiful.
I’ve been running from who I am, my feelings, my pain for most of my life. Ironic that as soon as I accept what I’ve become, I’m given the greatest gift—a woman to love. A gift I can never accept. She deserves better than me. Another, better man who will treasure her and keep her safe. Will he fight alongside her and comfort her like this? The thought makes my monster rage within the bars of its cage. My muscles tremble with the desire to shift. I grit my teeth and fight it back. It’s getting harder to keep control.
The longer I stay with her, the more danger Annabel is in. I better leave soon while the only price she’ll pay is a few tears. If I wait too long, the price will be higher. I can’t risk the monster hurting her... or worse.
I won’t let that happen. I will leave before I hurt Annabel even if it destroys everything we have together. The meat in my stomach sours at the thought, and the monster howls with loss.
Soon, but
not tonight. I hold Annabel tighter, and savor this precious moment, knowing everything I’ve ever wanted in is in my arms.
* * *
Annabel
Charlie drives to the National Mall where we walk the moonlit expanse of pathways and grass in front of the Smithsonian Museums.
You would think after wolfing down three hamburgers he’d be moving slow, but it’s like he still has energy to burn. I wonder how fast a field agent’s metabolism runs. Twice the normal person’s? Three times?
Getting to know Charlie Dune as a man, not just a super agent is just as thrilling as watching him in super agent action. Every minute I spend with him deepens my interest, increases my desire.
As terrifying as this whole adventure is, I don’t want it to end.
Because I know when it does, Dune and I will have to part ways.
Of course, I don’t even know if going back to our old jobs, our old lives is a possibility. Have we both gone too far off the rails to be allowed back in?
Charlie interlaces his fingers between mine like we’re a couple—boyfriend-girlfriend. I like it way too much.
“So, what now?” I ask even though this is really my mission. Still, I need Charlie to tell me what to do. I’m in way over my head now.
“What do you want to do, Annabel?”
I knew he’d ask, yet I’m still at a loss. “I don’t know,” I sigh. “What do you think?”
Charlie’s quiet for a long moment. “If it were me? Honestly? I’d keep digging. Something doesn’t smell right with all of this. But if you want it to end, if you want to go back to your job and put this chapter behind you, I think we can still negotiate our way back. It’s up to you.”
I suck in a breath. “I’ve far exceeded my favor with you.”
He stops walking and turns me to face him. “This isn’t about the favor. You must know that. I’m here for you, Annabel. There’s no way in hell I’m going to let you or the people you love get hurt.” He shrugs his muscled shoulders. “It’s pretty clear-cut for me. As long as you’re still in, I’m in.”
My eyes smart, and I blink back tears. How can I stop myself from plunging headfirst into the sea of Charlie? But I have to. This is a man who can’t even stay still for an hour in a motel room. He’s not going to stick around and do a “relationship” with me. The idea is laughable. It figures I’d fall for a guy just like my dad—the hero who has to be off saving the world instead of doing the picket fence thing.
I feel like a selfish bitch for putting him in danger, but his protection means everything to me.
“Yeah. I’m still in. And Charlie,”—I reach up and touch his face—”Thank you.”
His eyes glow for a moment under the moonlight, and he claims my mouth with the same hunger that seems to overtake us every time. Except now we’re in public, and he’s fucking my mouth with his tongue, grabbing handfuls of my ass in his strong hands.
I laugh and push him away because if I didn’t, I swear we’d end up horizontal on the closest park bench.
He blinks his eyes rapidly and sucks in a tortured breath. “Let’s get you back to the motel.” He loops an arm around my waist and steers me back toward the end of the mall where we parked.
“Me? What about you?”
He hesitates one second too long. “Yeah, me too.”
“Where are you going?” I ask sharply.
His smile is both indulgent and rueful. “There’s no getting anything past a CIA agent, is there?”
“No. What are you planning?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. I just haven’t walked enough. I need time alone to clear my head. That’s all.”
Something doesn’t quite ring true about his words, and it causes my belly to tighten. What is Charlie keeping from me?
Can I really trust him? Or is this the ultimate play?
But no, he couldn’t fake the passion he brings to our sex. Couldn’t fake the words that tumble out afterward.
Could he?
* * *
Charlie
I head out into the night air, away from Annabel’s intoxicating scent. Already I want to claim her again. But even when I do, it’s not enough. That desire to bite her—visions of it—keeps rising up.
I fire up a burner phone and dial a Tucson number. It’s not like me to call some dude and ask for help. Hell, everyone knows guys don’t stop to ask for directions, especially not me. But I don’t know what the devil I’m going to do next, and the moon is nearly full. Annabel’s life could be in danger.
Tonight.
“Hello?”
“What happens during the full moon?”
The shifter on the other end of the line is silent for a moment. Then he says, “Dune.”
“Yeah.”
“I wondered if you’d call.”
“Answer my question.”
“You really still think you’re in a position to interrogate me? Try again, asshole.” He ends the call.
Okay, I totally deserved that. I am an asshole. The first time I met Jared, I swooped in when local cops raided an illegal cage fight he was in and took over his interrogation. I’d seen his eyes change color the way I remember my father’s had. The way Nash’s—a guy I knew from Special Forces—had. I thought they were part of a government experiment. Which was only half-correct.
The second time I met Jared, I followed his pack on a rescue mission to Honduras where I saw the pack members change before my own eyes—becoming wolves, lions, a dog, even an owl.
Seeing the impossible somehow activated something in my own biology. My half-shifter status made me vulnerable, and the dormant ability came to the surface. Jared caught me spying and commanded me to change.
And that’s how I realized I keep a giant silver wolf pent up inside me.
I dial the number again. “Good evening, Agent Dune.” He’s mocking me now.
“I’m sorry.” It costs me to say it. I can be anything, play any part when I need to for the job, but this is real, and I somehow intuit dominance within a pack means everything. My wolf can’t stand me groveling to him. “Please.” Again, it costs me. “What happens during the full moon?”
“You’ll want to hunt. Eat more red meat. Get out and shift. You have someplace safe you can run?”
I wish to God I was back at my cabin in California. “Not at the moment.”
“That’s too bad.” Then he says sharply, “You have a female with you?”
My body goes tense for whatever he’s going to say. “Why?”
“It can make the need worse—if your wolf has chosen her as your mate. You can go moon mad if you don’t claim her. Especially during the full moon.”
The world around me spins, locks into place—a bad place. “What’s moon mad?” I already know that’s what’s happening to me. Why else would I want to tear into Annabel’s flesh with my teeth?
“The animal can take over. You shouldn’t be without a pack for this. It’s your first moon. Where are you, man? Can you get to Tucson? We can help.”
“Uh... probably not going to happen. No.”
Jared grumbles a bit. “You need me to come to you?”
I’m somewhat shocked by the offer. He would do that for me? I barely know the guy, and the interactions we’ve had haven’t exactly been stellar.
“That’s not gonna happen either. But thanks. I appreciate it.” I pace around the back of the motel. “What do you mean the animal takes over? Like it tries to hunt? Does it hunt humans?”
“It means you lose your humanity. Yeah, hunting humans is possible. If it happens, you’d have to be put down. That’s why I don’t want you alone. Where’s the female? Is she human?”
“Of course she’s fucking human,” I snap, then shake my head, as if I can throw off the fear ratcheting up my spine. It’s not like me to lose my temper. Or be afraid. But this is Annabel we’re talking about.
“Mating a human is a challenge, but it can be done.”
“I’m not going to mate her when I co
uld turn savage and kill her on any given full moon.”
“Well—”
“Thanks for your help,” I cut in. “I’ll figure it out on my own.”
Like I always have. I end the call. It rings back just as I crush the burner phone under my heel so it can’t be traced back to me.
Damn it all to hell.
I’m going to have to get Annabel somewhere safe and very far from me by tomorrow night. I can’t risk her being anywhere close to me if the monster takes over.
When I go back to the motel room, Annabel wears a vulnerable-suspicious expression.
“Who did you meet?”
I arch a brow. I’m tempted to dodge the question, but again, the urge to stick closer to the truth with her wins out.
“I had to make a phone call. Not about this mission. About my last one. The personal one. Just trying to wrap things up.”
Her expression softens, eyes warm. “The one about your dad?”
My gut twists. “Yeah.”
He was a monster, like me.
I want to tell her everything, but she’s had enough shock for one day. I don’t know how she could absorb this, too. Tomorrow I’ll tell her if I have to. To keep her safe.
“I’ve been doing some more hacking,” she says. “On a hunch, I pulled the bank records for Director Scape from 1992. Guess what I found?”
My clever, clever handler. “What?”
“A very large deposit into Scape’s account from a company called American Trade Assets. And several more going back to 1990.”
“What is American Trade Assets?”
“That’s the interesting part. They’re a political action organization primarily interested in promoting American trade interests. Particularly in North and South America.”
“So, you think they might have funded a peace destabilization project?”
“That’s exactly what I think. Scape was my dad’s direct superior. He could’ve taken the money and sent my dad on the mission.”
I hate to ask the next question. “Did you check your dad’s bank account?”
She sits up taller. “Yep.”
“And?”