by K E Osborn
She winces and frowns. “It’s okay, you don’t have to be ashamed.”
“No, I’m not. I can read, I’m not stupid!”
She shakes her head. “No, no, of course you’re not stupid. Don’t think that. Please don’t think that I think that either. Hey, it is okay, honestly. I’m sorry... the others don’t know do they?”
While feeling like a complete idiot, I tense up. As I go to say something, anything to change the topic, Tillie walks in with another menu.
“Here’s a Thai menu, Zaria. In case you’re not into pizza.”
“Thank you, Tillie. Where is everyone else? I need variety. I want to see all the menus not just pizza and Thai,” she demands.
I wonder if for a moment she showed me a glimpse of someone else. For just a moment in time before Tillie walked in she wasn’t the diva she is now. Zaria was kind of nice after she figured out my secret, but as soon as Tillie walked into the room she was back to full diva mode.
I think there’s more to Zaria Shafir than meets the eye.
“Umm… they’re out finding other menus. They shouldn’t be too…” The others all stroll back in. “Oh, here they are now. Guys do you have more take-out menus?” Tillie asks opening her eyes wide at them all—I’m sure if she wasn’t the uber professional she is, she would be eye rolling right about now.
They all wave something in the air and walk around the table taking their seats.
“Okay, so we’ll have one thing from every menu. I like to have variety,” Zaria demands.
We all raise our eyebrows looking at the probably twenty plus menus lying on the table in front of us.
“Umm… sure. Do you know what you want from each place, Zaria?” Tillie asks.
She waves her hand in the air and curls her lip up. “I don’t care. Just order number seven on every menu. But tell them to make it snappy, I’m hungry.”
Lunar scoffs out a laugh as she tries but fails to hold it in. Zaria looks at her and raises her eyebrow as if to say ‘what are you laughing at?’ Lunar quickly gathers herself and looks down to her hands on the table, hiding any sort of further reaction.
“Okay, well, Tillie, you go and order the food and we’ll discuss meeting next week for the filming of the music video,” Oliver says.
With all plans regarding Zaria settled for filming the music video in a week, food ordered and eaten— with a massive amount of leftovers—the meeting is practically over and I’m still as nervous sitting next to Zaria as I was when she first walked in. Although we haven’t said another word to each other since we were alone together, and she’s still carrying on like a spoiled diva, I feel like she’s putting on some sort of act. Like this is all a performance and this diva attitude is just a persona and it’s not the real Zaria.
I wonder what the ‘real’ Zaria is like.
Once you strip down this opinionated, domineering act… what would remain of the actual woman?
Maybe I’m wrong and she really is a massive cow like she’s portraying. Who really knows?
I’m not buying what she’s selling at this point, unlike everyone else who’s gone from acting scared of her to sending Zaria sideways glares when she’s not looking.
“I have to use the ladies, I’ll be right back,” Zaria announces out of nowhere. She stands up quickly and proceeds to walk out of the room.
Everyone stops talking like someone flicked a switch to silent, then they all watch her walk out. Once she’s left the room, everyone collectively lets out a big sigh.
“Jesus Christ, she is crazy! Like batshit, balls to the wall, mother fucking crazy,” Lunar says.
“I know, talk about a diva complex. They say that pop stars are divas. Well, I’m pretty sure Oscar-winners take the cake as far as I’m concerned,” Tillie replies.
“She’s an A-list actress, she’s supposed to be a diva,” I say, feeling like someone needs to stand up for her while she’s out of the room.
“Diva sure, but not an asshole!” Lunar replies.
Tillie and Lunar laugh rather loudly as Zaria walks back in.
Everyone falls silent as Zaria swallows hard, her eyes focused like she obviously heard what was said. But she walks in shaking her head slightly as if she’s shaking it off.
Zaria sits back down and exhales. “Tillie, get me another drink. And don’t forget the straw this time! Ta.”
Lunar rolls her eyes as Tillie stands up and rushes off to grab another drink for Zaria.
“We’re all done here for the night. Everyone’s free to go if they so wish,” Oliver announces breaking the tension in the room.
They all stand ridiculously quickly and rush out, leaving only Zaria and me in the room watching as they all bolt out like a stampede of bargain hunters at the local Walmart.
Zaria slumps in her chair like she’s finally able to relax into herself and I tap my fingers lightly on the table while watching her façade wash away. The more I think about it the more I realize she was putting on a show tonight. I just don’t know why the hell someone would want to do that.
Suddenly, she turns to me and plasters a fake smile. “So, honestly, tell me… you can’t read can you?”
I groan. “No… I can.”
She shakes her head and huffs. “Artist, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Believe me, I don’t think any less of you. Really, just tell me, I’m not going to tell the others. Promise.”
I tense up and swallow hard. There’s something about her that tells me I can trust her. That she isn’t going to inform the others if I do admit it to her. She’s already guessed, so I may as well spill the beans and admit it so I don’t keep looking like a bigger idiot than I already feel like.
“My brother knows, but Danger and Ryan don’t. They probably suspect but don’t know for sure.”
She half-smiles and pats my shoulder in a kind gesture. “I will teach you.”
I furrow my brows and tilt my head. “Umm… what?”
“I’ll teach you how to read. I’m a really good teacher and promise I won’t be too hard on you. Plus, I’m going to be around for a little while now so we have plenty of time.”
I shake my head ever so slightly more in shock than anything else, then let out a laugh. “No, really, you don’t have to do that.”
“Shush. I won’t take no for an answer, artist. But first things first… you better tell me your actual name, I can’t keep calling you artist.”
I let out a bemused laugh. “I’m Nate.”
She smiles and her eyes sparkle with kindness. It takes my breath away and melts my heart at the same time.
“Well Nate, it’s nice to meet you. Take out your cell, I’ll put my number in it and we can meet up for private lessons. This is going to be great, I can tell.”
Pulling out my cell phone I hand it to her…
To Zaria Shafir.
Oscar-winning A-list actress.
Who is not only being nice to me but is now my private tutor?
What the fuck?
It feels good to be finally arriving home after spending the evening with the Recoil family. They weren’t exceptionally welcoming, except for Nate of course, and what a surprise packet that was. He appears to be so out of his comfort zone. Nate appears to be the odd one of the group, maybe the outsider, the one that doesn’t get along well with everyone. I’m not sure, but he was different to the rest of them, which I kinda liked.
Walking up to my front door, the white double doors with stained glass inserts are architecturally perfect, just as you would expect from a house in the Hollywood Hills. My door swings open and I take a deep breath as a vast enveloping gush of nothingness greets me. No running dogs, no smells of home cooking, no family members calling out ‘welcome home,’ just my home with its clean, crisp white walls and stark blandness.
I exhale and walk in, my heels clicking on the marble floor as I close the door behind me. You’d think for all the money I’ve amassed I could have decorated this place a little more chic. But mother always said a c
lean and spacious home is the best. So I went minimalistic, maybe too much so, and now my home feels barren and bare—a wasteland of self-indulgence and isolation. I wish I had more artwork in here to spruce the place up a bit.
I think of Nate the artist, and wonder if he could do anything to liven this place up. His arm was so alive with intricate artwork, I wonder if he designed the tattoos himself?
He’s really quite attractive in the way he looks. Down to his brown hair, the smooth jawline, and his twinkling blue eyes. Not to mention his god-like body. He really is a delight to behold.
But I know, rock stars are never good to mess with. Look at what happened when I met Kade from Backlash—that ended with me heartbroken and him whoring it up like the asshole he is.
I want to help my little artist, though. There’s a vulnerability in him I like, and even though I may seem like a tough bitch on the outside I do actually love to help people. And if assisting him with learning how to read will make him feel better about himself then I’m all in.
There’s a photo of me with my father on the buffet and I glance lovingly down at it. With a smile, I reach up and gently touch the necklace hanging around my neck.
I miss him.
God, I miss him.
Taking a deep breath while my heart beats a little faster, I turn heading for the stairs and make my way up to my bedroom. It’s been a long week. I’ve just finished filming another epic movie that’s sure to be a blockbuster. I’m wiped, had it, and over Hollywood for a while.
Other than this music video I’ve signed up for with Recoil, my schedule is now clear for a long stretch. I need some down time. I’ve been working too damn hard. But in this industry if you don’t consistently work hard, you don’t keep up the momentum, and if you don’t keep up the momentum then you’re last week’s news. Well, that’s what Patrick, my stepfather and one of the world’s biggest movie producers, says anyway.
Matt continues to grin at me still as we stand in our burgundy kitchen. It’s annoying because he’s been doing that all the way home from the office, and he’s continuing to do it now we’re home.
“What?” I ask, and he chuckles.
“Well, you were quite cozy with our little A-lister weren’t you, Mister Nathaniel?”
I furrow my brows and frown. “Fuck off! Just ‘cause you weren’t the center of attention for once, you can leave me the fuck alone.”
“Okay Snappy Sam, cheer the fuck up. She reject you or something?”
I roll my eyes annoyed that he automatically assumed that she’d reject me, but I really don’t want to tell him that Zaria’s found out my secret. A secret I hold so close and away from prying eyes. I drown in it every damn night and I definitely don’t want him to know that she knows. Let’s face it, the more people that know what a loser I am the more it makes it official.
“No, she didn’t reject me. In fact, I got her number. So shut the fuck up.”
“Oooh…. Nate, dude, you’re gonna get into an Oscar-winners panties.”
I groan. “Jesus Matt, is that all you think about? She’s a person you know. Not just some fucking pussy to throw around.” After my little outburst I storm past him back toward the staircase that juts out into the open plan living room. Grabbing ahold of the wooden balustrade my feet start to pound heavy on the wooden steps which look like they’re floating up to the mezzanine level.
“Nate, I was only kidding,” Matt calls out as I head past the pool table and toward my bedroom.
“Whatever,” I murmur so he can’t hear me and continue stomping to my room.
The rich chocolate walls do nothing for my somber mood as I flop down on my giant king sized bed. Sinking down into the mattress my thoughts wander to Zaria and how stunningly pretty she is.
I would like to get to know her better.
Hopefully with her offering to teach me how to read I’m going to get to know her, the real her.
After a pretty restless sleep last night, I’m supposed to be going into the office with the guys today, but I honestly can’t be bothered. Talking music or even playing music right now doesn’t interest me. For some reason I have Zaria on the brain and all I want is to talk to her.
How fucking weird is that?
As I roll over in my bed my cell stares up at me. I swallow hard wondering whether I should do what’s currently circulating through my brain.
After some arguing with myself I decide, fuck it.
So I pick up my cell and look through my contacts to find her digits. How I know it’s her is because after she saved her number, I inserted the symbol of a dove next to her name.
Why a dove? I’m not entirely sure, but I feel a sense of peace when I’m around her. Even though Zaria finding out about me not being able to read had me internally panicking at first, there’s something about her that’s calming and peaceful. Therefore a dove seemed to fit perfectly. I always put a picture icon next to everyone’s contact, that’s how I tell the numbers apart on my phone. It’s my way of learning how to tell one name from the others.
Like, for instance, Matt is a rhino, Danger is a skull and crossbones, Ryan is a monkey, Tillie is a pair of glasses, Lunar is a pink motorbike. I work best in pictures. But then again I guess it’s the only way I can work, seeing as I can’t read the names properly.
I’m not completely illiterate because I can work out some things, like some basic small words, but only a few simple ones. I couldn’t string a sentence together. I know for a twenty-two-year-old that’s pretty fucking lame, trust me I know. Why do you think I have such a complex?
Looking at the dove on the screen, I hope that talking with her will make me feel better. She wanted to catch up anyway, to tutor me, so why not get the ball rolling right now?
The phone rings a couple of times and then she answers quickly.
“Hello?”
“Ah… hey, Zaria…”
“Nate?” she replies as if she’s unsure.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
She lets out what sounds like a bemused laugh. “Ha, guys never call. It’s always a text message.”
I wince. “Well, I can’t actually text… words and all, you know the drill.”
“Oh shit, right, sorry. How’d you know what number to call?”
“I put a picture symbol next to each person’s name.”
She lets out another bemused laugh. “What’s my symbol?”
“A dove.”
“Like the bird?”
I chuckle. “Yeah.”
“What’s that represent?”
“Peace and calm.”
“Hmm,” she murmurs simply. “I like it.”
“Awesome. So, ah… would you like to do something today?”
“What like a date?” she quickly replies.
I laugh nervously, running my hand through my hair and sitting up on the edge of my bed.
Wow! This got serious real quick.
“Ah… it can be. Or it can be two people catching up. Whatever you’re more comfortable with?”
“Umm…” there’s a small pause, “…can we try option two first and not think my being nice to you is anything other than friendship?”
I feel a little hurt by that answer, but I’ll take it on the chin as I swallow hard then try to get the words out. “Okay. What do you wanna do?”
“Why don’t you just come to my place? We can have a dip in the pool, have some food, watch some TV and just hang out?”
A small smile reaches my lips and I take a deep breath. “That sounds awesome.”
She gives me her address and I hang up. Then I pull on my swim trunks and walk down the stairs to head out to the garage.
Matt’s in the kitchen and looks up at me as I enter the room. “You heading into the office?”
“Nah, not going in today. We’re not recording or doing anything important. You’ll manage without me for a day.”
Matt jolts his head back in shock as his eyes widen. “Where are you going then?”
As I pass the kitchen bar I grab an apple and decide not to tell him then turn around and walk out the door toward the garage.
I slide into my car and turn on the Bluetooth hands-free navigation system. I speak the Hollywood Hills address into it and it plots out the navigation route for me to follow. I love that I can speak into it and it sets the course so easily, as obviously I can’t type it in. I love technology for that reason it makes it easy for me to live.
After a short drive I pull up a steep embankment and to a fenced off area where a security team man the fence. I raise my brows as they start walking toward my car. Pressing the down button on my electric window I wonder what the fuck’s going on.
A shaved headed Jersey Shore looking guy lifts his dark glasses to stare me down. “Are you the artist formally known as Nate?”
I give a curt nod and then chuckle as the Jersey dude stands back up nodding to his counterpart, who types something into the gate and both gates start to swing open wide.
This all seems so official, but then again, Zaria is a massive movie star and I guess she does need all of this security around her. After all, she’s way more famous than I am.
Jersey waves me on, so I accelerate and drive through the massive black wrought iron gates and continue up the long drive. The driveway curves and is made up of what appears to be cream cobblestones, but right in the middle toward the end as I reach the mansion is a gigantic Z in black script. It actually looks quite impressive even if it is a bit over the top.
The driveway then curves in a circle around a massive fountain with a small green hedge which I park next to. I’m pretty sure this fountain is probably bigger than my fucking bedroom and my fucking bedroom is huge. Shaking my head at the opulence, I get out of the car and walk up the marble staircase to the incredible white double doors.
“Fucking hell,” I murmur taking in the expensive appeal of this place. It’s not like I can’t afford something like this, it’s just that I’ve never wanted this type of luxury. And let’s face it, this might actually cost me most of my savings.
I almost don’t want to step on anything, including the stairs, in case I break them. There’s not one thing I’ve looked at that doesn’t appear like it could cost anything less than six figures, everything looks so fucking ridiculously expensive.