by Laura Beers
Kate walked over to the door. “Would you care to join me and Edward in the drawing room for some card games?”
“I think I would prefer to be alone this evening.”
Kate gave her an understanding nod. “But we will see you for breakfast tomorrow?” she asked with a pointed look.
Hannah gave her sister a weak smile. “I will be there.”
After her sister left the room, Hannah walked over to her bed and dropped down on it. For now, she would allow herself the luxury of crying. It wasn’t something she did often. But come tomorrow, she would not waste another tear on Martin.
15
Hannah gracefully descended the stairs as she headed towards the breakfast parlor. She’d had a fitful night’s sleep, but she was tired of crying over Martin. For someone who was determined to move on from him, she had done a rather poor job of it thus far. But she wasn’t going to be a simpering miss any longer. She would prove to herself that she didn’t need Martin in her life.
She smiled at Cooper as she descended from the last step. “Good morning,” she greeted.
“Good morning, miss,” he responded. “I trust you slept well.”
“I’m afraid not.”
He gave her a concerned look. “Is everything all right?”
She nodded. “It will be.”
“I am pleased to hear that,” he replied sincerely.
Hannah stepped into the breakfast parlor and saw that she was the first to arrive. She approached the buffet table and put two pieces of toast on her plate, then walked over to the table.
As she sat down, Edward and Kate stepped into the parlor, surprised looks on their faces. “Good morning, Hannah,” Kate said. “You’re up early, I see.”
“I am,” she responded. “I found that I couldn’t sleep and saw no reason to continue lingering in bed.”
Kate put a hand on her shoulder. “I am pleased to see you out of your bedchamber and looking so well.”
“Thank you,” she replied.
Edward had filled his plate and now sat down. “We missed you last night,” he said. “Your sister beat me rather soundly at cards.”
Hannah smiled at her brother-in-law. “Kate has always had a knack for card games.”
“It’s true,” Edward replied, lowering his voice. “I have often suspected she cheats.”
Kate spoke up. “You’re starting to sound like a sore loser, my dear,” she declared good-naturedly.
“I have yet to discover anything you aren’t good at,” Edward shared.
“Then you are blinded by love,” Kate teased.
“So be it.”
Hannah stifled a sigh at their tender exchange. Would she ever find someone who would love her as much as Kate and Edward loved one another?
Cooper stepped into the room with two large bouquets in his hands. “These have just come for you,” he told Hannah.
She looked at him in surprise. “May I ask who they are from?”
“They are both from Lord Egleton,” Cooper informed her. “Would you care to read the cards?”
Hannah shook her head. “That won’t be necessary,” she replied. “Will you see that they are disposed of?”
Cooper lifted his brow. “You wish for me to dispose of them?” he asked, repeating her odd request.
“Yes, please,” she said with a flick of her wrist. “I care not what you do with them.”
The butler tipped his head before he departed from the parlor.
Hannah turned back towards her food and took a bite of her toast. As she reached for her teacup, Kate spoke. “May I ask why you refused Martin’s flowers?”
“I don’t wish to be reminded of what transpired between us yesterday,” she admitted.
“That is understandable, but I worry that you won’t be able to dismiss Martin so easily,” Kate pointed out.
“I agree,” Hannah replied. “Which is why I think it might be best if I left Town for a while.”
“Where would you go?” Kate asked.
Hannah placed her teacup back on the saucer. “I was hoping to visit Amelia at Harrowden Hall until the conclusion of the Season.”
Her sister’s lips parted in disbelief. “But you detest long carriage rides.”
“True, but I am willing to make an exception in this case.”
Kate exchanged a worried glance with Edward. “I have no doubt that Amelia would be happy to entertain you, but are you sure you’re not just running away from your problems?”
“I am not running away,” she asserted. “I believe the time away will allow me to find the closure that I need with Martin.”
“I don’t think it would be wise for you to leave Town at this time,” Kate said. “If you go, I fear you and Martin will never be able to rectify this situation.”
“Perhaps, but I need time away.”
Kate looked unsure. “I just don’t want you to live with any regrets.”
“I already have too many,” Hannah reluctantly admitted. “I have spent entirely too much time pining after someone who has only ever considered me a friend.”
“But do you truly want to lose Martin as a friend?”
Hannah pressed her lips together before saying, “I think it might be best if Martin and I parted ways.”
“You don’t truly mean that,” Kate gasped. “You two have been friends for far too long to just throw that away.”
“I do, wholeheartedly,” Hannah declared. “It would be too hard to continue on the way we have been.”
Edward wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I hope you don’t mind, but Kate informed me about what transpired between you and Martin in the gardens.”
“I assumed as much,” Hannah responded.
“Furthermore, Martin had already told me what happened, as well,” Edward continued.
“He did?”
Edward bobbed his head. “And I can assure you that he feels awful about it.”
Hannah hoped the displeasure did not show on her face. “I am well aware of that fact,” she muttered.
“His main concern was that he was afraid of losing your friendship over it,” Edward shared.
“Yes, he made that abundantly clear to me, as well,” Hannah remarked dryly.
Cooper stepped back into the room and met her gaze. “Lord Charles is here to call upon you,” he informed her. “Are you taking callers at this time, miss?”
“I am,” Hannah replied, pushing back her chair.
“I do worry that you are being rather callous about this,” Kate asserted.
Rising, Hannah said, “It is my life, Kate.”
“I know, but—”
“I know what I am doing,” Hannah insisted. “You must trust me.”
Kate leaned back in her chair, a frown marring her features. “I suppose I must, but I don’t like it. I believe you are making a mistake.”
“I shall have to accept that.”
As Hannah stepped out of the room, Kate’s voice reached her ears, causing her to pause at the doorway. “Do be gentle with Lord Charles,” she encouraged.
She bobbed her head. “I have every intention to be.”
Hannah crossed the entry hall and stopped outside the drawing room. She wore a white gown with a pink net overlay, which she smoothed down as she gathered her courage. She did care for Lord Charles, but she knew there could be no future for them.
Lord Charles stood near the pianoforte, dressed finely in a grey jacket, dark trousers, and blue waistcoat. A small smile came to her lips, but she didn’t feel her heart lurch at the mere sight of him.
Lord Charles smiled brightly when he saw her. “Good morning, Miss Blackmore.”
“Good morning, Lord Charles,” she greeted.
“I hope I didn’t call too early.”
“You did not,” she assured him.
Lord Charles looked pleased by her admission. “I was hoping to discuss something with you, assuming you don’t mind.”
“Of course.” Hannah walked closer to him bu
t stopped a proper distance away. “What do you wish to discuss?”
Lord Charles took a deep breath. “I have enjoyed these past few days immensely as we have gotten to know one another.”
“As have I, but—”
“Will you do me the grand honor of allowing me to court you?” he nervously blurted out.
Hannah shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I must decline.”
A crestfallen expression came to his face. “May I be so bold as to ask why?”
“I do not care for you as I should,” she replied honestly. “You deserve a woman who loves you for the remarkable person that you are.”
Lord Charles grew quiet for a long moment before asking in a soft voice, “What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing,” she rushed to assure him.
“Did I ask too soon?”
She shook her head. “I wanted you to be the one, I truly did,” she said. “But the truth of the matter is, my heart was claimed by another a long time ago.”
“I hope this man understands how truly lucky he is to have claimed such a desirable prize.”
She lowered her gaze. “I’m afraid he does not know the extent of my feelings for him,” she admitted softly.
Lord Charles took a step closer to her. “You must tell him.”
“I assure you that won’t make a difference.”
“Then he is a fool,” Lord Charles said, his voice low. “For if you were mine, I would ensure you felt loved every single moment of your life. It is no less than what you deserve.”
Bringing her gaze back up, she replied, “That is sweet of you to say.”
“I care for you, and I do wish things could have been different between us.”
“As do I.”
Lord Charles reached for her hand and brought it up to his lips. “I do hope you find happiness in this life.”
“I feel the same way about you.”
Lord Charles released her hand. “I shall see myself out, then.”
“I do hope that we can part as friends.”
His face softened. “It would be a grand honor to consider you a friend, Miss Blackmore.”
As Lord Charles departed, Hannah knew that she had made the right choice, but it hurt, nonetheless. Now Lord Charles was free to pursue a woman who could love him, wholly and unconstrained.
Kate’s voice came from the doorway. “Did you tell him?”
“I did, but only after he offered for me,” she revealed.
“How did he take it?”
Hannah gave her a weak smile. “He responded as an honorable gentleman would,” she replied. “He was gracious and kind, everything I knew him to be.”
“You made the right choice.”
“I know, but my heart does ache for Lord Charles,” she replied. “He deserved better.”
Kate stepped further into the room. “You never meant to deceive him.”
“No, but I did break the one rule we ask from our clients,” she said. “My heart was already taken by another.”
Quiet stretched between them, and Hannah felt no need to fill it with empty words. Kate eventually broke the silence. “Would you care to go shopping today?”
“I would not.”
Kate moved closer and placed a comforting hand on her sleeve. “We could go riding?” she suggested.
Hannah gave her sister a weak smile. “I understand what you are trying to do, and I thank you for it. But I think it would be best if I packed for Amelia’s country estate.”
“You don’t have to go.”
“I know, but I want to.”
“As you wish,” Kate murmured, “but I will be sad to see you go.”
Hannah embraced her sister. “Thank you for always being there for me, Kate,” she remarked.
“It is what any good sister does.”
“No, you have been exemplary in your care for me and Amelia,” Hannah said, leaning back. “You kept our family together after our parents died.”
Tears filled Kate’s eyes. “I did what Mother and Father would have wanted.”
“That you did,” Hannah agreed. “I’m sorry for whatever hardships I caused for you as you helped shape me into the woman I am today.”
“Mother and Father would have been proud of the woman you have become,” Kate acknowledged, putting her hand up. “I know you don’t like to talk about them, but—”
Hannah interrupted, “I find that I am not as opposed to it as I once was.”
Kate smiled through her tears. “I am pleased to hear that.”
“I’ll go inform Sarah of my decision to depart for Harrowden Hall.” Hannah walked over to the door and stopped. “This is for the best, Kate. I’m sure of it.”
As she stepped out into the entry hall, Hannah hoped her words were true, but she couldn’t help but wonder if she was just lying to herself.
Martin rubbed his eyes as he sat at his desk. He was trying to get through all of his work, but he couldn’t seem to think about anything but Hannah. And the kiss. If it was such a mistake, then why did he keep reliving the moment over and over? The warmth of her lips on his was far better than anything he could ever describe. It felt perfect, as if he was always meant to kiss her.
Despite that, he knew Hannah deserved better than what he had done to her. He had sent flowers with two apology notes, hoping she would forgive him, but he knew it wouldn’t be that easy. It never was.
His sister’s voice came from the doorway. “You look awful.”
“Thank you,” he remarked dryly. “What is it that you want?”
Marianne walked further into the room and sat down in front of the desk. “I haven’t seen you since you abruptly left while we were playing cards last night.” She smiled. “By the way, Mother was rather furious with you for that.”
“I have no doubt, but I couldn’t take any more of Lady Isabella.”
“None of us could.”
He leaned back in his chair. “It was rather exhausting to hear her go on and on about her many accomplishments.”
“Only to discover she is not that talented at the pianoforte.” Marianne giggled. “She was terrible.”
“I feel as if someone should tell her.”
“Where would the fun be in that?”
“I do see why you take issue with Lady Isabella,” he said. “She is pretty enough, but she is quite disagreeable.”
“That is a kind way of saying she is truly awful.”
“I never said that.”
Marianne gave him a knowing look. “You implied it.”
Martin smiled. “Perhaps.”
“I do pity the fool who is stuck marrying her.”
Martin shrugged. “One could only hope that she has a brother for you,” he joked.
“That isn’t funny.”
“It is, just a little.”
Marianne eyed him curiously. “May I ask why you appear so disheveled today?”
“I had a fitful night.”
“I see,” she said. “Were you thinking about Lady Isabella?”
He shuddered. “Heavens, no.”
“Then what kept you awake?”
“Nothing that you need to concern yourself with,” he said.
Marianne leaned forward in her seat. “Was it about Hannah?”
He looked at her in surprise. “Why would you suppose that was the case?”
Marianne smirked as she leaned back. “You have spent an awful lot of time with her lately, and I couldn’t help noticing you were in a terrible mood when you arrived home after visiting her yesterday.”
Rising, Martin walked over to the door and closed it. “It would be best if this conversation remained private.” He returned to his chair and lowered his voice. “I did something I should not have.”
“Which was?”
He frowned, then admitted, “I kissed her.”
Marianne’s brow shot up. “You kissed her?” she asked. “How did Hannah respond?”
“She kissed me back.”
Clasp
ing her hands together, his sister exclaimed, “This is wonderful news!”
He shook his head. “You’re wrong,” he replied. “It’s terrible news.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Don’t you see that I made a huge mistake by kissing her?”
Marianne furrowed her brow. “How so?”
“It could jeopardize our entire friendship.”
“But you have feelings for her?” Marianne asked.
He shifted his gaze away. “I don’t know.”
“You kissed her, but you were unsure of your feelings?”
Martin winced. “I care for her deeply, but I don’t want to do anything to risk losing her as a friend.”
Marianne pressed her lips together, then said, “You already did.”
“I tried explaining it was a mistake, but—”
His sister cut him off. “You told Hannah that kissing her was a mistake?”
He nodded.
“Idiot,” she muttered under her breath.
“Thank you for that.”
“What else did you tell my dear friend?” Marianne asked, her disapproval clearly evident.
“I told her that nothing could happen between us.”
“How did she respond?”
Martin rubbed the back of his neck. “She pressed me for a reason.”
Marianne stared at him in disbelief. “How could you be so cold and unfeeling towards Hannah?”
“That was not my intention.”
“No?” she asked. “Then why did you kiss her in the first place?”
Martin let out an aggravated sigh. “I don’t know.”
“That isn’t good enough,” Marianne pressed. “You must hold her in some regard if you were tempted enough to kiss her.”
“It is possible that I have some feelings for her, but I don’t dare to pursue them.”
“Whyever not?”
Martin ran a hand through his hair. “I have always considered Hannah a very dear friend, and I can’t lose her over something so trivial as feelings.”
“First of all, feelings aren’t trivial,” Marianne chided. “Second, you have no idea what is at stake here, do you?”
He gave her a baffled look. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”
Marianne let out a puff of air. “Hannah has always held you in high regard,” she shared, “and this could ruin everything between you two.”