Gott, forgive me for what I’m about to do if it is not right and just in your eyes.
Caleb shook as he entered the school. He was about to confess to her that he couldn’t read, and ask for her help in exchange for helping her out of her marriage with Jessup. He pushed down his insecurities, knowing this was the only way to keep from falling in love with her when it was obvious she didn’t return his feelings.
Katie looked up from her lesson when Caleb entered the school, and he motioned her to meet him in the back room. The look on her face as she walked toward him was fearful. The last thing he wanted to do was add to her worry.
“I won’t take up much of your time, but I can’t help but feel partially responsible for what happened with Mr. King,” he lowered his voice. “I want you to know that I will help you by pretending to be your beau, but as long as there is an even exchange. There has to be something in it for me.”
Pretend?
Katie was furious. She couldn’t believe he was trying to gain something from her pain. He didn’t care about her at all, which meant he had tried to kiss her with no feeling in his heart for her whatsoever.
“Ach, you want to know what’s in it for you? How about in exchange for helping me, I’ll teach you how to read!”
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CHAPTER 24
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Caleb wasn’t sure he would ever get the smug look of Katie’s face out of his mind. She had been so sure of herself, but ended up shaming him in the process. Was she really the snob that he had originally thought her to be? If she was, he wanted no part of her, and was glad he would only have to pretend for as long as it took to finish learning how to read. He almost wished he’d had never gone back into the school. He wished he’d never made that deal with her, but it was too late to take it back now. Before long, the news would spread across the community of his relationship with Katie. He knew that a meeting with the Bishop was unavoidable, whether Jessup went to him or not.
As far as Katie was concerned, if she wanted a fake beau, he intended to give her just that. He would be the best fake beau she could ever hope for. Especially since he intended to earn every reading lesson she gave him.
****
Katie couldn’t stop thinking about the hurt look that crossed Caleb’s face when she blurted out his secret. Why had she let her own selfish wants cloud her ability to decide between right and wrong? She loved him, and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. But she had also broken a confidence with Rachel. She had made a promise not to tell Caleb she knew he couldn’t read, and she had broken that promise. How could she have let this situation get so far out of control that she’d hurt her friends just to get her way? She felt like the worst person in the world. How would either of them ever forgive her? She would lose the respect of the community and her aenti when they found out her relationship with Caleb had all been a lie.
She was glad her school day was finally over, but her pain wasn’t. As she pulled the buggy into the parking lot of the bakery, her heart raced at the thought of what she knew she had to do. She had to apologize to Caleb and Rachel and hope they would forgive her. She had made a complete mess of everything, and it was up to her to start putting the pieces back together.
Katie stepped nervously out of her buggy after seeing Caleb on the front porch finishing the repairs. She hadn’t expected to run into him again so soon, but she supposed they would have to get past the initial awkwardness if they were to keep to their deal.
Caleb unexpectedly greeted Katie with a smile. Then he did something that completely threw Katie off guard. He pulled her into his arms and planted a kiss on her cheek. Lingering over his embrace, she wondered what he was thinking. Amish didn’t allow such public displays of affection.
She pushed gently at his strong chest. “What are you doing? Do you want Rachel to see us in an embrace?”
Caleb smirked. “If we are to pull off this charade, then everyone has to think we are a real couple, and that includes our familye.”
He pulled her back in his arms. He was enjoying watching her squirm.
She tried to push him away, but he was too strong. “Why can’t I tell Rachel the truth? She’s my friend.”
Caleb put his mouth to her ear and whispered, sending tingles down her spine. “We can’t tell anyone the truth or this will never work. And I don’t want anything to keep you from teaching me how to read.”
Was he trying to provoke her, or was he still hurt because she exposed his secret? She would go along with whatever he thought was best since she didn’t want anything to ruin her chances of getting away from Jessup once and for all.
“I’m sorry for the way I exposed you about not being able to read. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I’m fine. Just keep to our deal and everything will be fine.”
Katie finally managed to squeeze out of his grasp. “I came here to talk to Rachel about all of this, but I can’t leave now without talking to her. What do you suppose I should say to her?”
Caleb pulled five dollars out of his pocket and shoved it in her hand. “Tell her you came here to buy cookies. She’ll accept that.”
Katie tried to give him back the money but he wouldn’t take it. “I don’t need your money, I have my own. And I don’t need to buy any cookies from her. I could tell her the news about mei aenti.”
He snatched the money from her hands and turned to pick up his tools. “Suit yourself. But don’t leave here without telling me guten nacht, or my feelings will be hurt.”
Was he serious? He was going to take this as far as he could stretch it. Katie was certain of that.
Inside the warmth of the bakery, Katie suddenly didn’t feel like sharing the happy news of the upcoming wedding for her aenti. She was confused and scared at the same time. She couldn’t believe what she’d gotten herself into. Had she traded one overbearing mann for another? Thankfully, the relationship with Caleb was a ruse, and she would be able to get out of it easier than it was going to be with Jessup.
Rachel greeted her with a smile. “What brings you in here this time of day?”
Katie cleared her throat to hide her nervousness. “I decided to bring home some cookies after all.”
Rachel winked at her. “I’m glad to see you stand up for yourself to your aenti.”
Rachel packed up the cookies and handed them across the counter to Katie. “Is there something you want to talk about, Katie? You look kind of pale.”
Katie shook her head. “I’ve just had a long day is all. I should probably get home so I can get to bed early.”
“It’s closing time for me, too. I’m eager to get home myself.”
Katie paid for the cookies. “Danki.”
Rachel stepped to the door to switch the sign over to Closed, and then twisted the lock, noting her bruder was putting his tools away for the evening.
Katie stepped onto the porch and looked at Caleb, her nerves on edge. “Guten nacht, Caleb.”
He closed the space between them, pulling her into his arms and pressing his cold lips gently against hers. Katie closed her eyes for a split second, allowing herself to enjoy the moment, until the sound of bells jingling against the door of the bakery broke the spell between them. Katie rushed down the stairs without looking back. Climbing in her buggy, she clicked to the old mare urging her away from the bakery, and the prying eyes of her friend. Her friend who had no idea of her deception.
Rachel pulled on Caleb’s jacket. “Did I just see you kissing Katie?”
Caleb smiled, still stunned from the feel of Katie’s warm lips against his. “Jah, we are courting.”
He wished with all of his heart it wasn’t a lie.
Rachel pulled her bruder into a hug. “I’m so glad Katie finally told you she’s in lieb with you.”
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CHAPTER 25
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Caleb fought hard to keep his eyes on the road as he drove his
buggy toward the school. He’d stayed up half the night trying to figure a way out of the mess that he and Katie had made.
If Katie was really in love with him, then she had told the truth when she blurted it out to Jessup. Why hadn’t she just told him how she felt about him? Why did she have to say it to Jessup instead of him? More importantly, why would she agree to have a fake relationship with him if she really loved him?
Was it possible she didn’t think he would return those feelings? He had to find a way to reverse the damage of this deal they’d made before it destroyed any possibility of them having a real relationship.
How was he going to carry on with her in this charade, knowing she really loved him? One thing was certain; he couldn’t let on that he knew the truth because for some reason she hadn’t told him yet. Perhaps he would have to devise a new plan to pull the truth from her.
Caleb entered the school with his tools in tow, prepared to work while he listened to Katie’s lessons the same as he’d been doing for the past two weeks. But she had a different idea in mind, it would seem.
Katie beckoned him to the last row and offered him the chair before turning to her class to get their attention. “Mr. Yoder will be observing the morning portion of our classes for the remainder of the school year. He will also be evaluating my lessons. Please be considerate of his work here as you go about your own lessons.”
With that, she handed him a tablet and a pencil and urged him to sit in the chair in the last row. It was vacant, so there was no chance that another student would see him writing anything. He appreciated her care where his privacy was concerned.
The morning went by quickly—too quickly. He was just getting the feel for forming some of the letters in his tablet after Katie’s instruction, and the lesson was over. He closed the cover of the tablet and walked over to his toolbox and stuffed it to the bottom. He was going to have long days for the next few weeks learning to read in the mornings and then making repairs to the school in the afternoons. But he didn’t mind; he was happy to be in the presence of the lovely woman he was falling deeply in love with.
The two of them sat with the students during lunch, trying to keep some semblance of normalcy to his presence there. But that was ruined the minute the door swung open and Jessup stepped inside, Katie and Caleb jumped from their seats.
Katie turned to the kinner. “Would everyone like to have recess today?”
They all shouted acceptance as they jumped up to pull on their coats. Katie was grateful it was a reasonably warm day for the end of March and the snow had begun to melt.
Once the students had gone outside in the school yard, Caleb asked Jessup to sit down at the table in the back. He hoped this would be the end to his visits, but only if Caleb was able to convince him to go back to Nappanee and forget about Katie.
Jessup looked at Katie, who sat close to Caleb’s side. His arm was sprawled out across the back of her chair, and that disturbed Jessup.
“I came here hoping to talk some sense into Katie and bring her back home with me.”
Katie sighed. “I already told you yesterday. I’m not going back to Nappanee. My home is here now,” she turned to Caleb and pushed her hand in his. “With Caleb.”
Jessup’s face twisted with anger. “I didn’t want to have to go the Bishop, but it appears that I must.”
Caleb clung to Katie’s hand. Knowing she loved him gave him the strength to sit there and endure the unforgiving stares from Jessup. “I think Katie has made her choice clear. Going to the Bishop isn’t going to change her mind.”
Jessup stood up abruptly and slammed his fist on the table. “I will not leave here without Katie as my fraa.”
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CHAPTER 26
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Katie jumped, and Caleb held tight to her hand even as he stood to face Jessup. He leaned across the table, looking Jessup in the eye.
“I’m sorry that Katie made you believe the two of you were going to be married, but she’s changed her mind. I think it would be best if you were on your way, or I’ll go to the Bishop myself.”
Jessup’s mouth twisted. “I would appreciate it if you would allow Katie to speak for herself.”
Caleb was losing patience with this mann. He could see why Katie wanted to get away from him.
“She’s said all she has to say on the matter. I’ll be speaking on her behalf now. If you have something to say to her, say it me instead. I’m her betrothed, and I will not permit you to speak to her anymore.”
Katie’s pulse raced. Was Caleb taking this a bit too far? Although she liked the idea of marrying Caleb, she didn’t welcome the thought of having her heart toyed with because of Caleb’s outrageous stretching of their story.
Katie held up her hands to the menner. “If you neither of you mind, I have something to say.”
The two of them sat back down, impatience hanging thick in the air as all eyes were on Katie.
“I owe you an apology, Jessup. I’ve been lying to you.”
Caleb squeezed a warning against her hand, pleading with her not to continue. If she told Jessup their relationship was a lie, Caleb feared he would lose all chance to keep her in his life—even if it was just for show.
“The only reason I agreed to accept your request to marry me was to buy myself enough time to earn money to be out on my own.”
Jessup tried to put his hand over her hands that now rested on the table in front of her, but she pulled away from him. Caleb claimed her hand in his own, reassuring her of his support.
“Mei daed threatened to put me out of his haus if I didn’t accept your proposal, so I accepted and asked for a long engagement. I hoped it would buy me the sort of time I needed to save money to be on my own. I was frightened I would have nowhere to go. But I was wrong. I have my aenti.”
Caleb squeezed her hand. “And she has me now. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to her. That includes anything from you or her dead. It’s my job to take care of her for the rest of her life. You can go back home. I wish you well, and I pray that you find a gut woman who wants to be your fraa, but that woman is not going to be Katie.”
He meant it, and he hoped Katie knew that.
She looked up at Jessup. “I’m sorry, Jessup. I shouldn’t have hurt you like that.”
Anger narrowed Jessup’s eyes as he stood to leave. “This is not over. I plan to speak to the Bishop and make certain the two of you are excommunicated for your actions.”
Panic claimed Katie as she watched Jessup leave the school. Fresh tears pooled in her eyes, and she couldn’t stop them from running down her face.
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” she sobbed.
Caleb pulled her into his arms. He loved the feeling of her close to his heart as she rested her head against his chest. It was all he knew to do at the moment. He couldn’t stand by and watch her cry; he loved her too much to be that cruel. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her how he felt about her. In her emotional state, he feared she would reject him.
He smoothed her hair, tempted to draw it into the clutches of his hand and bring her mouth to his, but this was not the time or the place for that.
“I’m sure he’s just angry. Once he calms down, he will see reason, and hopefully, he will decide against going to the Bishop. The odds are in our favor since he hasn’t gone already. I’m sure they’re empty threats fueled by his anger and humiliation. I’d be upset too if you told me that.”
Katie lifted her head from his chest and swiped angrily at a tear. “Are you defending him?”
He took her hands in his. “I’m not defending him. I’m simply trying to see this from his point of view. You apologized to him, but maybe it wasn’t enough.”
Katie’s face distorted at his comment. “What do you suggest I do? Marry him out of pity?”
“Nee. I’m only suggesting you seek his forgiveness. It might go further than a simple apology.”
Katie threw her arms up in disg
ust. “There was nothing simple about that apology. That humiliated me to admit my own vadder doesn’t want me living in his haus because I am a burden to him. To have you know that my parents arranged a marriage for me so I wouldn’t become a spinster is hard enough. Then to admit that I used that mann for my own personal gain makes me sound like some sort of monster.”
“You’re not a monster for doing what you had to do in order to survive. Your own daed treated you harshly, whether he knows it or not. And Jessup was never the supportive person he should have been if he intended to marry you. To put you in a position where you would have to go to such extremes in order that you would not become homeless is wrong. I admire your strength for what you did, even if you went about it the wrong way. It may not have been the right thing to do, but it was what you had to do. But you have to know; if you had done to me what you did to Jessup, I’d be hurt.”
Katie pursed her lips. “Jessup isn’t hurt because he doesn’t love me. He’s angry for losing. And our relationship is just as fake as my relationship with Jessup was. Does that hurt you?”
“Jah, it does.”
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CHAPTER 27
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Katie couldn’t wait to go home. School had become so stressful. Not because of her students, but because of the visits from Jessup. And now, the complications from her fake relationship with Caleb were starting to wear her down.
After he’d walked away from her this afternoon, she wasn’t sure what to think of him anymore. What had he meant by telling her he was hurt by their relationship? Was it possible that he cared for her more than he’d admitted?
Amish Winter of Promises: Book Four (Jacob's Daughter series, An Amish Romance) Page 8