by Bri Noreen
“Nigga, stop looking like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like that.”
This time I joined in on the laugh. “Shit, I’m shocked. I’ve never seen you this gone off a chick.”
“I don’t know, man. I think she might be the one.” My eyebrow raised, but Grey quickly changed the subject. “What’s good with you, though?”
“Ah, you know. Same ol’, same ol’. The club seems to be running smoothly, and the show will be really good for—”
Grey cut me off. “I asked what’s good with you. How’re you doing?”
I let out a heavy breath. I didn’t know how to really answer his question because I didn’t know how I felt. On one hand I was still devastated about the loss of Blu and the baby, but on the other hand I wanted to be happy again. I was tired of feeling like the world was moving on around me while I was just watching it go by. But I didn’t know how to get myself out of the funk. I had thought that working would be the distraction I needed, but once work was over, I was back in my feelings. It was a sad rollercoaster ride that still hadn’t come to an end.
“I’m cool, man. I’m coasting.”
“Coasting? Man, you’re a young, rich nigga with the world at his feet. You shouldn’t be coasting.” I remained silent, but I heard him talking. He took my silence as his cue to continue. “I know what happened to Blu was fucked up, but you gotta believe that shit is going to get better or it never will. You were making it before Blu, and as many women as there are in the world, you gon’ make it now that she’s gone.”
“I hear you, bro.”
“You hear me, but do you feel me? I hate to see you hurting, man, but how long are you going to allow yourself to drown in pain? I’m saying all this shit, and I hope that you’re listening because I can’t be the one to pull you out of this. You gotta be the one to do it. And I hope it’s soon.”
I nodded my head, but remained quiet. We had reached our destination, so I pulled in the driveway and parked. We got out and walked up onto the rickety porch, and Grey knocked on the door twice. The door opened, and an older woman, at least in her late sixties, appeared. She had a head full of rollers, a long house dress on, and a pair of dirty pink slippers. A smile crept across her face when she saw Grey. He leaned down for a hug.
“Pretty eyes, is that you?” She kissed him on the cheek.
“Yeah, Ma Dukes, it’s me.”
I watched the exchange in confusion. I had never heard Grey speak of this old lady yet they were embracing like long lost relatives. I stepped over the threshold as they made their way inside the house. I closed the door behind me and joined them in the kitchen.
“Who is that there, Grey?” she asked as she looked me over.
“Ma, this is Kimani, my younger brother.”
I extended my hand to shake hers while giving my brother a quizzical look. Ma Dukes ignored my hand and pulled me into a hug.
“God bless your gene pool! Lawd Jesus, ya’ll some fine Negroes!” she exclaimed.
A genuine laugh shot out of my mouth, and I can’t deny how good it felt. Ma Dukes patted my shoulder and walked off toward the oven.
“I just baked a lemon pound cake. Ya’ll want a slice?”
“Nah, Ma—” Grey started.
I cut him off. “Hell yeah, I’ll take a piece.”
Grey shoved me in the shoulder, and I shot him a look. Shit, he was here to handle business, not me. The least I could get out of the deal was a slice of cake.
“What’chu here for, boy? I know you ain’t come all this way for a hug from my boney ass.”
Grey laughed and took a seat at the table. He watched her pull the cake from the oven before he spoke.
“I got word that there’s someone trying to move in on my territory out west. Two cats are trying to push weight to my people. Heard they from out this way. You know anything about it?”
I looked at Grey like he had lost his mind. How in the world would this old broad know anything about this shit he was talking? I just had to hear how she was going to respond to this shit.
“It’s two lil knuckle-head niggas that’s been running around here in the last few months. I ain’t never seen ‘em, but I’ve heard about ‘em plenty. They’re green to this game, though…inherited it from a father or uncle or something like that.” She sliced the cake and placed each piece on a paper plate. “They may be new to this, but they’re ruthless. People been coming up missing left and right. They’ve been muscling niggas out of their territory and claiming it as their own. These young bulls you looking for ain’t got no type of respect.”
I looked at her with my mouth slightly hung open as she placed the plate of warm pound cake in front of me. Who was this old broad?
“You got any names?” Grey asked.
“Nope. They’ve been heard and not seen, so I can’t tell you what they look like either. From what I know they’ve been sending their people out to shop their product around, and whoever turns them down has ended up missing. So I’d be careful if I was you.”
“Thanks, Ma. You got them other thangs for me?”
“Yeah, they right where they always are.”
“Cool. I’ll send somebody by in a few days. We gon’ jet. It was good seeing you.” Grey stood from the table as I tried to shovel the last of the cake in my mouth. The shit was bomb. I started to ask her for another slice or two, but Grey shot me a look like he was reading my mind. Steady blockin’!
“Here, let me package ya’ll up some cake to go. Lord knows I don’t need to be eating all this sugar no way.”
I made a face at Grey, and he shook his head and laughed. Ma Dukes sliced up half of the cake and wrapped it in Saran wrap. Handing it to Grey, she looked him in the eye and held his hands. She stared at him a little longer and finally she patted his hands and turned away. The fuck? They’re relationship was weird as hell! We said our goodbyes and left her house, jumping back in the rental.
“Where to now, my nigga?” I asked. “You got some more old trap bitches we need to visit?”
Grey laughed. “Naw, I got the information I needed. The only thing on my agenda for the rest of the weekend is to make sure your depressed ass has some fun.”
“Man, ain’t nobody depressed.” I waved him off.
“Tell that to somebody that don’t know your ass. But don’t worry about it, bro. We’re going to grab some food, chill, and hit the city. We’ll turn up how we used to.”
With that said, Grey turned up the radio like he didn’t want to hear me object. I wasn’t going to, though. I was tired of being sad and shit all the time. I just didn’t know how to shake it off. Hopefully, a night out in the A would at least start the process.
Blaze
July 2015
I live in this fantasy
Where everything is amplified
Senses heightened in a flash
And everything just comes alive
This pressure all inside of me
Is sexual anxiety
Baby there’s a lot of freaky shit
Running through my mind that I can’t say
But I know I can demonstrate
And I can let my body explain
JoJo’s sultry voice flowed through the Bose speakers as I rubbed vanilla-pear body butter on my thighs. I hummed along with her as she described her pent up sexual frustrations still not believing that this little white girl had pipes like this. Baby girl could sang! And the sensual words that she crooned resonated with my feelings. I was missing my baby something terrible and was wishing that it was him that I was headed to meet instead of Roman.
Don’t get me wrong, Roman was 6’1” inches of smooth peanut butter goodness, but I surprisingly only had eyes for Grey. I knew Grey was special because I had never even considered the notion of being in love, but with him it came natural and felt right. I was used to having options and milking men like the animals they were and here he was having me thinking about becoming his wife and popping out some babies.
Before I met Grey, I would’ve definitely been trying to see what Roman was working with, but it just wasn’t that type of party anymore. When I explained to him that I was not on the market, Roman understood and kept it strictly professional. He stated that he had actually approached me about the annual fundraiser that I host every year and how he could be a part of it. He briefly mentioned that a mutual acquaintance had told him that I picked a charity every year to donate the proceeds to, and he wanted to know if I would consider donating next year’s proceeds to his charity, Young Hustlers, and possibly work with him on another project involving his charity.
I was excited at the possibility of working with kids and helping them build their business ideas, and it was always great to have charity work on your resume. So I had accepted his offer to meet and discuss it over dinner. It didn’t hurt that Roman would be a delectable piece of eye candy as an added bonus. By the time I finished moisturizing and spraying myself down with body spray, JoJo’s song was over. Now Adrian Marcel was serenading me with his song, “My Life.” I slid into the black chiffon Topshop maxi dress with side cut outs and a sexy split. I accessorized it with three carat diamond studs and a gold David Yurman watch. The Sophia Webster butterfly sandals added a pop of color and a bit of whimsy to my otherwise basic outfit. After I pulled my hair up into a neat top knot and checked my makeup, I grabbed my Edie Baker clutch and walked out of my room.
I opted to roll in the luxury of my black on black Audi R8 Spyder and left my Camaro behind. I was meeting Roman at The Water Grill in Santa Monica so, I programmed the address in my GPS and turned on Cassie’s Rock-A-Bye Baby mixtape to keep me company. I pulled up to the restaurant about twenty minutes later and noticed that the parking lot was pretty empty. That was kind of strange for a Thursday evening, but I parked anyway and kept it pushing. Upon entering the restaurant, I could see that I was the only one in the room. All of the tables except for one had been cleared.
The solitary table in the middle of the restaurant was set for two and adorned by candles in the dim lighting. There was a bottle of champagne chilling in an ice bucket atop. Flowers lined the booths, and there was a soft jazz tune playing in the background.
“You look beautiful.” His sexy voice surprised me, and not only did I jump at the sound, but goose bumps covered my bare arms immediately. I could feel him hovering behind me and I couldn’t help the shudder that crept through my body as I got a whiff of his Tom Ford Noir cologne.
“What…what is this, Roman? I thought I told you—“
He cut me off and ran his hands up my arms causing an involuntary moan to escape from my lips. “I know what you said, but I couldn’t help myself. The last time I saw you, you weren’t wearing a ring on your finger, so I took that as my cue to try my hand anyway.” He placed a small kiss at the base of my exposed neck, and my entire body tensed.
Letting go, he walked around to face me. There wasn’t one female who could deny how sexy his man was. Dressed in a pair of white jeans, a white button down, a printed bomber jacket, black skinny tie, and a pair of Christian Louboutin sneakers, he was hood and debonair at the same damn time. He looked like he had gotten a fresh line up, and his naturally curly fro had been trimmed. His earlobes shined with diamond studs like mine, and I didn’t miss the Versace watch on his wrist. His mere presence was making my whole body flush with lust, and I didn’t know how to stop it. He hadn’t even done anything yet! I had to get out of here.
“I can’t do this.” Without taking another glance in his direction, I spun around and went for the door.
“Yes, you can.” He said as he grabbed hold of my hand.
I stopped in my tracks when I knew I should have kept going. I could feel the hard muscles of his chest pressed against my back, and I started hyperventilating a little. He slipped his hands into the cut out section of my dress and caressed my skin. My voice got caught in my throat as I felt his hand go toward the zipper.
“Roman, stop! I’m with—”
Quickly, before I could get another word out, he spun me around and placed his perfect lips against mine. I tried to pull away, he pulled me closer to him instead. He parted my lips with his tongue, and before I could protest, he was slipping my dress off my shoulders. It fell to the floor swiftly revealing my nearly naked body. Only a pair of lace boy shorts shielded me from being completely exposed. He took a step back and marveled at my body as he unloosened his tie. He hurriedly came out of his jacket and tie then quickly unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his perfectly-toned chest and abs. I sucked in a breath as my thoughts went into overdrive.
What the fuck was I doing? Was I really about to ruin what I had with Grey to have one night with Roman? What was wrong with me? I thought I had changed! I thought Grey had changed me but here I was about to do the same hoe shit that I used to do. I had a man that was willing to go to extreme measures to make me happy so why wasn’t that enough? Why was I still willing to give myself away for the first tidbit of attention that a man threw my way? I was always looking for more. But what more did I need? Grey was everything. I couldn’t think of one thing about him that I would change or make better. So why was I here about to risk everything for what was bound to be a one night stand? Roman leaned in to kiss me again, and I placed my hand on his chest.
“Roman, listen to me. You are beyond beautiful and you seem to have it all together, but I’m in love with someone and I’m not willing to hurt them behind this,” I said with finality.
Roman looked at me for what seemed like eternity before he chuckled slightly. My brows furrowed in confusion. What the hell was funny? I pulled my dressed from the floor and started to pull it back on when he spoke.
“I didn’t really want to fuck you anyway, but it would’ve been easier for you. I was sure that based on your history that this would be the easy part.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re not really my type. A little too plush for my taste.” A devilish smile spread across his face before he continued. “But you just had to go and make this hard on yourself.”
“The fuck are you talking about? You know what? I don’t even give a damn. I’m gone.”
I zipped my dress back up and marched toward the door. Before I could get it open, a Suge Knight lookalike locked it from the outside.
“What the fuck? Open this door! Roman, what the hell is going on?” I screamed. He really was on one!
“Have a seat, Blaze.” He motioned toward the table. I folded my arms across my chest and stared at him. He had to be joking. “I ain’t got all night so have a seat. The quicker you listen, the quicker you can leave.”
He buttoned up his shirt and walked over to the table, pulling out a chair. I rolled my eyes and stomped over to the table like a four-year-old brat in the middle of a tantrum and plopped down in the seat.
“I would have done it, you know. Fucked you, I mean. We could’ve gone about our merry ways until I needed you again. But for once in your life, you decide to act morally correct.” He shook his head.
“You don’t know me, nigga. So I suggest—”
“I know you much better than you think I do. As a matter of fact, I know you just about as good as you know yourself. That’s why I know that you’ll help me.”
“I ain’t helping you with shit!” I stood up and stormed to the door. To hell with this arrogant asshole. If he wasn’t going to let me walk out of here I was ready to yell and scream at the top of my lungs until someone came to see what all the noise was about. This was a bourgeois area with nosy people lurking on every corner. Fuck this shit.
“Now, Cadence, that’s not really any way to speak to the person who holds your life in their hands.”
I froze immediately when I heard that name. He couldn’t know about that…could he?
“I knew that would get your attention.”
“How do you—”
“I bought out your debt. Well, I put it on layaway, technically. But I will buy it out completely if you do what I ask you to do.�
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“And if I don’t?”
“Then I’ll make sure he finds you. What he does after that is none of my business.” I could hear the contempt dripping from his words. I clutched my stomach as I suddenly felt nauseous at the thought of what I was about to let this man do to me a few moments ago. How had he found out about me? What did he want? How the fuck had I managed to get myself into some more bullshit?
“What do I have to do?” Nothing could be worse than having to face him after what I’d done. Or so I thought.
“You’re going to help me get to Grey and Kimani Summers.”
Blu
July 2015
I stepped off the private jet and threw my hand against my forehead to block the sun. The wind immediately shuffled a light breeze through my shoulder-length, blunt cut hair, tossing it around like a mini hurricane. I had retired the blue wigs since I had been out of the hospital and opted to style my natural hair into something manageable. I smiled when I felt his hands at the small of my back, and I instinctively leaned into his body. His solid, 210 pounds of muscle caused chills to race down my spine as soon as our bodies connected. He pecked me lightly on the cheek.
"Happy to be home?" he asked.
We started walking to the Town Car that was parked a few feet away. I shrugged. "I guess so. To be honest, it just kind of feels like a vacation to me."
Things had gone back to normal since our previous fight, but I still had my doubts about him and his motives. When he all of a sudden told me we were relocating back to my hometown of Los Angeles, and we left within a day of the news, I was surprised. He still remained tight lipped about the situation he wanted me to help take care of, and I was growing impatient. The blind trust I once had in him was diminishing, and I wanted some answers. Based on the way he had clammed up when I asked him about it, I knew I wasn’t going to get answers easily. But I was going to get them one way or another.
We approached the car, and he opened the door for me. I climbed into the backseat. I watched through the tinted windows as he rounded the car, shook the driver’s hand, and opened the other backseat door. Dressed in a fitted white tee, a pair of dark denim jeans. and a pair of Nike Air Mag's; simple looked good on him. He slid in next to me, and his Jean Paul Gautier cologne invaded my nostrils, making my nose twitch.