by Oliver, Lisa
“In other matters,” the Alpha said smoothly. “Do you want to tell me why you chose to ignore your fate-given mate, and destroy whatever hope of happiness Phillip might’ve had in the process? You had to have known your lack of acknowledgement would gut the man.”
Ouch, that sort of blunt talk was bound to fucking hurt, and worse, Kellen knew it was nothing more than he deserved. Every wolf shifter, hell, every paranormal in existence knew how important fated mates were. Not everyone found that special person who completed their soul, but when they did, ignoring them was never an option. Kellen was starting to wish he hadn’t gotten out of bed.
“It wasn’t intentional,” Kellen said, determined to let Pearson see he had some redeeming features. “I had to speak to Tristan first. The man might not have meant anything to me, but he deserved to understand what was going on. And me and my men are trying to work out if my orders were a threat to you, Devin, or me. I planned on speaking with Phillip as soon as I’d finished talking to you.”
“Well you may have to wait a few days, because Phillip isn’t here,” Pearson said. “As soon as I’d had a chat with him, to ensure he was okay, he requested permission for two days off and has left the club.”
“Where did he go? What, what would he be doing that he couldn’t do here with his pack?”
“Get the crap beaten out of him, I imagine,” Dante said. “It’s what he normally does when he’s overwhelmed.”
“Get the…I don’t understand. Why? He’s an enforcer…” Kellen was so shocked he could barely get his words out straight.
“That’s why he doesn’t ask anyone here to discipline him.” Dante said the words so matter-of-factly, as though they were obvious. But Kellen didn’t see anything obvious about the situation at all and said so.
“Look,” Pearson said, and Kellen noticed a flash of discomfort flash over the man’s face. “Some months ago we had problems with an outside threat. It’s what brought Teric here while he was still working for the Council. The threat was resolved, and everything was fine, but during the incident it came to light that Phillip had let his brother-in-law, from another pack, infiltrate this pack under the guise of his mate to by-pass our stringent application process. Now I know…” Pearson added as Kellen growled, “It was a dumb thing for Phillip to do. But he’d been promised contact with his family, who’d shunned him years before because he’s gay. We totally understand why he did what he did, there was no real harm done, Phillip confessed all when he was confronted, and he submitted to the lashes I gave him as punishment. Which is why he’s still my enforcer, and more loyal than ever.”
“And what? He got a taste for being whipped and now runs off to some human club to get his jollies, while preserving his image within the pack?” Kellen felt sick, physically sick. He had plenty of understanding of concepts like sadism, masochism and how the D/s power exchange worked, but for anyone, his mate especially, to work as an enforcer by day and enjoy being whipped by night. How the hell was he going to be able to deal with a personality like that?
“He’s punishing himself.” It was Dante who answered and he sounded so sad, Kellen found himself watching the man’s face, trying to work out the reason behind the emotion. “Phillip betrayal by his family was one thing. But in his head, he feels he’s been a traitor to this pack, to the very essence of what it means to be a wolf. No matter how much we try and convince him otherwise, he can’t let it go.”
“He knows we’re aware of his forays to other clubs; with that one exception, he’s honest about everything,” Pearson continued. “I’d asked him about it a couple of months ago when I noticed there were more scars on his back than before.”
“He shouldn’t have any scaring, he’s a shifter,” Kellen said automatically, still reeling from the idea his mate was more troubled than first thought.
“He doesn’t shift, he wants the scars,” Pearson said. “He carries them as a permanent reminder of what he considers his betrayal of us. Dante and I are worried that he’s suffering from depression. It’s not common in wolf shifters, but it can happen. Phillip hasn’t taken a sub since the incident; he grabs every spare shift he can get. He was driving himself into the ground before you came along, and your rejection of him earlier; the fact that you insisted on being so physical with your ferret in his presence, cemented the idea that even his mate would never find him worthy. When he asked permission to go, I wasn’t in a position to refuse him and as I didn’t expect you to come and spill all, there was no reason to insist he stay on the off chance you pulled your head out of your ferret’s ass.”
“He’s not my ferret. I’ve told him to go home,” Kellen said. “My God, what a fucking mess; I couldn’t have mucked this up more if I’d planned to.” Kellen fell back in his chair, his mind racing, his heart crippled with anxiety. It was a foreign feeling; he wasn’t used to feeling anything about anyone as a rule. But this, what Pearson and Dante had explained to him. His poor mate. His precious, sweet mate. The strength of his enforcer position battling with the torment he carried inside. And Kellen had just made the situation ten to the fourth power worse. He looked up to see compassion on both Dante’s and Pearson’s faces. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because if something’s not done soon, then Phillip won’t be with us much longer,” Pearson said gravely. “The man doesn’t let his wolf out, doesn’t socialize beyond what’s necessary for his job. He’s hanging together by a thread, and what happened today with you has just sped things up in terms of his possible demise. I’ve never known a suicidal unmated shifter in my life, but Phillip is fast becoming the first. Far as I can tell, you’re the only one who has a hope of letting him know he’s worth more than his brain tells him he is. That’s if you’re man enough for the job.”
“You think I have any alternative? This is my mate we’re talking about.” Kellen didn’t even try to hide the anger in his voice. How could this fucking Alpha pair, smug in their own claiming, even consider he wasn’t capable of caring for a mate? They had no idea who they were talking to.
“You do have an alternative,” Dante said, his calm words piercing Kellen’s emotions. “You can leave. Take your men and your ferret and go back to New York, sort out who gave you the bum steer in terms of orders, and carry on living your charmed life complete with limos and random bed mates. Phillip already believes you don’t want him. He thinks you’re already mated considering how solicitous you were over Tristan in this office. So long as you’re gone before he comes back, he’ll keep thinking that.”
“I can’t believe you’d let one of your own enforcers think something so inherently untrue, especially knowing his back story and what it’s doing to him now.” Kellen knew he should have kept a watch on his tone when Pearson growled and Kellen felt the increase in Alpha power in the room.
“My mate is doing the right thing, no matter how much it pains us both to even consider it,” Pearson bit out. “You have a choice and Alpha or not, I will not force a mating. You come in here like your shit doesn’t stink and despite the fact you’ve been honest with me now, your original intention was killing one of my pack members. So be fucking thankful that I’m offering you an out, because from where I’m sitting a few weeks in one of our cells might give you some much needed time to think about your fucking priorities.”
It stung. Hell, it stung, but Kellen knew that Pearson was right, at least in one respect. What the Alpha didn’t know was that Kellen had already made his decision about Phillip before he’d entered the office. He’d thought the whole issue of his mating could wait, after all someone could be out to get him from the Council and he didn’t want his mate in danger. But after hearing what Dante and Pearson had said about Phillip, Kellen found he really didn’t care about any of that any more. Phillip was a danger to himself, and he was the one who needed saving. Kellen was determined to be the right man for the job.
Taking a deep breath, he stood up and said firmly. “If my men have done their job, then Tristan should b
e on his way back to New York with the understanding that I’ve found and plan to claim my mate. If it’s acceptable to you; I’ll have them searching for the motives behind my orders.”
“That’s fine. If your men come up with anything they can share it with the info my own team is working on. But what will you be doing?” Damn. Pearson wasn’t going to give him an inch.
“I’m going to go and find Phillip, and I’m hoping that you’ve some idea where he’s gone, so that I can do that sooner rather than later. This is my first time in Washington, D.C. and a GPS will only work so far.”
The grin Pearson and Dante shared made Kellen wonder, for one split second, if he was being played again. But with his mate’s sanity at stake, he wasn’t about to worry about it.
/~/~/~/~/
After Kellen left Pearson’s office.
“Did you have to be so dire about Phillip’s behavior? You made him sound like he was on suicide watch. He’s a functional adult even if he is a bit down about things,” Dante gently teased his mate.
“Kellen needs to know what he’s getting into. You’re the one who made such a big deal about him having the option to leave if he wanted to.”
“A guy has to have options,” Dante said, catching Pearson’s dark eyes with his own. “After all, no one expects Kellen to have some sort of magic-wiener-wand thing going on. It’s going to take a while for Phillip to be well again.”
“Magic wiener wand?” Pearson grinned and then he laughed. “Face it love, he may not have magic powers, but that package he had hiding in his pants should keep Phillip distracted for a while.”
“You noticed?” Dante growled.
Pearson quickly shook his head. “Only in passing,” he said softly, leaning forward. “I’ve only got eyes for you.”
“Good answer,” Dante whispered as their lips met.
Chapter Six
Phillip tightened his jaw as the whip snaked across his back. Thanks to the scar tissue, he could barely feel it and instead of providing a distraction from the negative voices in his head, Phillip was getting pissed off. He’d believed the guy on the other end of the whip knew what he was doing. Being able to scent a lie was really handy in a human BDSM club, especially when you were consenting to being tied up and then flogged or whipped. During their pre-scene chat Phillip didn’t smell any deceit coming from the Dom. But as he winced his way through another feeble blow he was well aware that he’d been taken in by a wannabe with an overrated sense of strength and abilities.
Another blow and Phillip let out a sigh. There were times he cursed a wolf shifter’s pain tolerance. Fuck it. As soon as the scene was finished he was grabbing his clothes and heading over to Whips, the club that Ace had reminded him about. Phillip had been a member there for a while, although he barely ever visited. He preferred the club he was in, one he’d found when he was living with his brother-in-law, who’d been masquerading as his mate. Of course, at the time he’d been looking for subs, and he’d played with plenty of them in the past. Clearly it was a damn sight easier finding a willing sub, than a Dom who knew what he was doing.
“Five more, okay.” The Dom was asking, and while some subs appreciated caring dominants, who babied their way through every scene, Phillip wasn’t one of them. He wasn’t even a sub. He was a fucking wolf shifter enforcer who needed the bite of pain to shut that annoying voice in his head down for just a little while. This guy wasn’t delivering.
“I asked if five more was okay?” Shit. If he’d been a sub he’d have deserved a punishment for failing to answer a direct question, but instead of grumbling, or asking for more, because there was no point in flogging a dead horse, especially when the man holding the whip was incompetent, Phillip grunted out “yes” and straightened in his bindings. The cuffs were causing him more problems than the marks on his back. Maybe five more lashes would drive the images of Kellen and that ferret out of his head. They wouldn’t do him any harm.
“You’re doing great.” The Dom risked a quick hand down his arm before he stepped back. Phillip could smell the Dom’s arousal and his stomach cramped. Having sex was not on his list of things to do that evening, and he’d already made that plain during their pre-scene chat.
Just get on with it, will ya? In his head, Phillip was already running through possible Doms he’d seen at Whips. Not that there was any guarantee they’d be there. But Phillip was getting desperate. He had two days to get his head together otherwise he knew Pearson was going to send him on extended leave. And honestly, left alone with nothing but the voice in his head for company, Phillip was sure that would send him to the dark side. Fuck, if only Kellen hadn’t shown up in Pearson’s office. Meeting a mate was bad enough – Phillip always knew he’d disappoint someone, one day. But turning up with a mate under his arm already? Gods, he wished it hadn’t been his turn to work the office.
Wish in one hand, shit in the other. See which one fills up faster.
That was the problem with the annoying voice in his head. It was usually right. Now if he could stop imagining he was scenting peppermint-laced chocolate, the mouthwatering smell of his mate, he’d cope a lot better. He reminded himself his mate was tucked in his bed with a fucking purple-haired ferret. It was exactly that sort of thing he’d gotten tied up to forget. Damn it. Phillip only wished it would work.
/~/~/~/~/
Kellen scanned the club area, seeking out the public, semi-public and private areas; his wolf barely under control. As human clubs went, it wasn’t bad. There was plenty of room between booths, the equipment looked sturdy and there was a seamless combination of light and darker areas around the large room. Not that Kellen was interested in the décor. His eyes could pick out people even in the darkest corners and he breathed a sigh of relief when he didn’t spot Phillip being intimate with anyone else. The fact that Kellen had caught a whiff of his mate’s scent in the parking lot was bad enough. Letting his eyes scan the room again, Kellen’s keen ears picked up the sound of leather hitting skin and his eyes narrowed in on a spot at the far end of the room.
There. Fuck, his mate had a sexy body. Well defined muscles, but nothing too big. A sleek back that, as Kellen got closer, he could see was marred with white lines that did nothing to detract from the sheer power in Phillip’s stance. He noticed two things almost immediately – Phillip still had his leather pants and boots on, which meant sex wasn’t covered in the scene; and from the welts, Phillip had been hit more than once. As a slender Dom with short black hair raised his whip again, Kellen didn’t even try to stop his growl. No one should be allowed to touch his mate but him.
“Last one,” The Dom yelled as the whip came down and Kellen twitched as if he could feel it hitting his skin instead of Phillip’s. But it didn’t stop him moving forward. Before the Dom even had a chance to pass his whip to someone else and tend to Phillip, Kellen was there, loosening cuffs, and flicking the quick release tags on the manacles around Phillip’s feet.
“What the hell, man, this is my scene.”
Kellen slowly rose from his crouch, standing at his full height, his eyes blazing. He was easily a foot taller than the human in front of him.
“And now it’s over,” Kellen growled. “Leave!”
“The scene isn’t over until I say it’s over.” Kellen gave the Dom ten points for persistence. “P, you okay, man? You need water, some lotion on your back, anything? You should at least come to one of the resting rooms out back and sit for a bit. Let me help.”
“I’m good, thanks. I’ll see you around.” Phillip didn’t even stop to look at Kellen or the Dom who was still hovering. Striding over to a chair, he picked up a tee shirt and leather jacket, and headed out of the door. Well fine, Kellen could understand not wanting to have any form of conversation about mates in a human club, but he was damned if he was going to let Phillip out of his sight. He made to follow, but a hand on his arm stopped him.
“Hey, who the hell are you anyway?” Really, the Dom wanted to know about him? Kellen flashed an
evil smile, reminding himself he had to keep his claws to himself in a human club, and said low enough that only the Dom could hear.
“I’m that man’s husband and I swear by everything that’s holy that if you go near him again I shall rip you apart limb from limb. You might want to pass that around, get it?”
Yep, the large gulp and the scent of fear. He’d gotten his message across. There was a good chance Phillip wouldn’t be coming back here again, so Kellen didn’t feel bad about staking his claim. Now all he had to do was get his mate to agree to his claim – and that meant catching up to him first.
Chapter Seven
Fucking hell, why did Kellen have to turn up now? Could my life get any more fucked up? Honestly? Phillip scowled at the sky as he strode towards his car. He didn’t need to talk to Kellen. He didn’t want to talk to Kellen. He’d seen enough in Pearson’s office. The last thing his self-esteem needed was the whole, “I’m sorry, but you’re not what I’m looking for in a mate” speech. Or worse the, “I’m sorry. I’m already mated, but maybe we’ll catch up in another life time” scenario. Because, when it was all said and done, what else would that tall hunk of sexy shifter, complete with long dark hair and a hint of fucking tattoos that Phillip wanted to trace with his tongue, want to say?
Nothing.
That’s right, fucking nothing. Phillip was holding onto his sanity through sheer force of will as it was. He didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh, cry, smash something or fall down in a heap and wish he was fucking dead. Sure, he might have been able to come across as staunch and strong in front of his pack members. It took all his energy, but he did it. He’d reiterated to Pearson and Dante a dozen times, that the purple-haired freak that Kellen was fucking was no concern of his. He understood his mate didn’t want him. He didn’t blame the man for having some sense. But that didn’t mean he needed to hear it from the horse’s mouth.
“Phillip, please. Don’t leave. I came looking for you because I need you.”