“Nothing,” I say, a little bit too fast.
“Yes,” she presses with a frown. “There’s something wrong. You’re holding back.”
I sigh. “Okay. Today is the anniversary of my dad’s passing,” I say.
She takes her head off my chest and looks at me intently. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she probes.
“Because I didn’t want to bring things down,” I explain.
“You could never do that,” she says. “I'm so sorry about your dad. It must be hard. Makes me so thankful I still have all my family with me.”
“It is,” I say. “I still miss him, every single day.”
I get lost in my own thoughts of him again and she doesn’t push me to talk. She snuggles a bit closer against me. I wrap my arms around her and hold her close, kissing her on the forehead while I stroke her back. She leans up and kisses me softly on the mouth. I moan, kissing her back, then we just lay there holding each other, no words needed. It's the best feeling, and also the worst. Suddenly, I’m feeling very emotional, knowing that tomorrow, she’ll be gone.
She falls asleep, and I listen to her snoring softly in my arms, trying to figure out where my life is headed. I wish there was a way we could see where this could go. It’s only been a week, but the thought of not having her around terrifies me.
I ease my phone out of my pocket, an idea ticking over in my head. It’s a long shot, and such a huge decision, but maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong in my life. Maybe I don’t take enough risks. Before I can talk myself out of it, I type out an email, and press send. I’m not sure whether I’m feeling better or worse, but at least I’m doing something.
***
We stay out there until dawn, her sleeping in my arms, and me anxiously checking my email. I watch the sunrise, then rouse her awake. She smiles up at me with a cute expression I want to wake up to everyday. I lean down and kiss her tenderly on the mouth.
“I slept all that time?” she mumbles. I smile at her, and nod, kissing her on the nose.
“You did. Shall we go inside?”
She nods, but there’s a sad look clouding her eyes. “I guess I better get showered and ready to go.”
“I’ll drive you to the airport,” I say.
“You don’t have to—”
“Oh, you know I’m going to,” I say, kissing her softly. “You think I’d miss the chance to see you off?”
“You’re that keen to see me go, huh?” she teases.
“Far from it,” I frown.
We walk inside, and I wait in the kitchen while Siobhan has a shower. I decide to throw together some breakfast to distract myself from thinking about our impending goodbye. Rory walks in while I’m turning the bacon. He smiles at me as he sits down, looking tired.
“Hey,” he says.
“You got back late last night,” I comment. I heard his car pull in well after two.
“Yeah, I spent most of the night at the hospital with Amelia,” he says, yawning.
“How long is she going to be in for?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I’m not sure. Until they figure out the right medication for her type of morning sickness, I suppose. Maybe a day or two.”
“You must be excited,” I grin. “You’re going to be a father. Imagine that.”
“Terrifying, you mean,” he says with a laugh.
“Maybe,” I agree. “But honestly, I'm so happy for you and Amelia.”
“I never imagined anything could make me feel this good,” he says. He glances at me and frowns. “Speaking of which, I owe you an apology,” he says, “I said some things to Siobhan about you that I regret now. You’re a good friend, and our mother has always brought us up to believe that if you don’t have anything good to say about someone, then keep it to yourself. I should have remembered that.”
“It’s fine,” I say, smiling at him. “I’m sure you were just looking after your little sister,” I pause and look at him. “For the record, I really do like her. I have no intention of hurting her.”
“Yeah, I know,” he says. “How do you feel about her going back today?” he says.
I laugh, trying to cover up the hurt. “Like shit. I’m so going to miss her.”
Rory nods. “Amelia and I are moving back to Ireland next month. Semi-permanently,” he says, looking up at me.
I glance at him, not sure how to respond to that. I’m about to say something about what I did last night when my phone vibrates. I reach in my pocket and pull it out, my heart racing when I see it’s Maxine. My heart pounds in my chest as I read her message.
Hi Ben,
Good to hear from you. As it turns out, Claudia is going on a six-month maternity leave next week. I’ve been struggling to fill her position. It’s yours if you want it. Let me know asap. I don’t have time to wait around while you scratch your ass, ok?
Max.
I read the message again, just to make sure I’m not dreaming. She sure doesn’t mince her words, and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“Fuck me, I don’t believe it,” I say, my pulse racing. “Yes,” I shout, punching the air.
Holy shit. This is really happening if I want it, and I do.
“What’s going on?” Rory asks, giving me a funny look.
“Looks like I’m moving over to Ireland, too,” I say. It’s still sinking in, but God it feels weird to say that.
“What?” he laughs. “What the hell are you talking about? Did you suffer a blow to your head, or something?”
“I sent Max an email last night, asking if she had anything for me over there,” I shake my head and laugh, re-reading her message, over and over. “It turns out she does. She has someone on maternity leave for six months. And the job is mine if I want it. I guess we’ll take it from there.”
Rory smiles. “Well, good for you. That’s great news. I’m so happy for you. Does Siobhan know you were even thinking about doing that?”
“I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure.”
“When are you going to tell her?” he asks.
“Maybe at the airport, just before she gets on the plane?” I say with a chuckle.
Rory laughs. “Oh, man. When she finds out you’ve known all morning and not said anything, she’ll kill you,” he grins. “She’s a fiery one. You’ll see.”
“That’s half the fun,” I say with a smirk. “Speaking of which, I better hurry her, or she’ll miss her flight.”
“Oh, before you go and find her, just one more thing, Ben,” he says.
“Yeah? What is it?” I ask.
“Just a piece of friendly advice. Something that’ll stand you in good stead in your life going forward,” he calmly says.
“Sure, Rory, what is it?” and I’m expecting some kind of deep wisdom to come from his mouth.
“Next time you decide to go for a swim in my pool when nobody’s home, do me a favor and leave your pants on,” he says. “I don’t want to see your hairy, lily-white ass filling up my CCTV screens ever again.” I stare at him blankly, not sure what to say to that. He laughs. “Remember? The day you picked Siobhan up for me? You stopped here first for my phone and, apparently, decided to take a dip? Ringing any bells?” he prompts, looking at me.
I sigh, thanking God that he’s talking about that time. But now I’m worried about the other time.
“You have cameras out there?” I clarify, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“Of course,” he nods. “I was just replaying some of the footage to check it was working and got an eyeful of you. It was horrible.”
“And you check that footage regularly?” I ask, my heart in my throat.
He shakes his head. “No, you think I have time for that? It’s just in case someone breaks in.” He narrows his eyes at me. “Why? Should I be checking it more closely?” he asks.
I laugh nervously and rub my head. “That’s, uh, probably not something you want to do,” I say as Siobhan walks in, raising her eyebrows when she sees the scowl on
her brother’s face.
“Do I even want to know?” she asks.
I just shake my head. “No, you don’t. Your breakfast is getting cold,” I inform her as I glance across at her bags piled up near the door.
She smiles. “That’s sweet of you, but I’m not really hungry,” she says.
“In that case, I guess we’d better get going,” I say.
She walks over to Rory and gives him a big hug, and he wraps his arms around her. “At least you’ll see us in a few weeks, right?” he says.
Her face brightens immediately. “I can’t wait. I’m so excited you guys are moving back.” She glances at me as I gather her bags then she follows me out to my car. We get in, and Rory waves us off. I smile at her, still holding onto my news.
I want the timing to be just right.
***
We stand in the airport before she goes through security, just staring at each other. Neither of us wants to be the one to say goodbye first. The whole drive over, we barely said a word to each other. The atmosphere was somber. When I asked her if she was okay, she teared up. Every time I go to tell her my news, I freeze, because honestly? I’m nervous as fuck.
What if she can’t wait to get away from me? What if this was all fun for her, and now it’s over?
I’ll be stuck over there, chasing a girl who maybe doesn’t want me. Thinking like that isn’t even giving us a chance. I take a deep breath and block out all negative thoughts, the anxiety killing me. I’m fast running out of time, because if I wait too much longer, she’ll be on the plane home, and maybe I’ll just be a memory. I don’t want to be a memory.
“I guess this is it,” she mumbles as she takes my hands. “No tears, okay?” she adds, frowning at me.
I chuckle. “You've already cried enough for the both of us,” I remind her. She glowers at me for a moment, then smiles.
“I’m really going to miss you. I know we’re still getting to know one another, but…” She shakes her head, unable to finish her sentence. I nod, because I know what she’s feeling. “Are you coming over for the wedding?” she asks.
“I wouldn't miss it,” I say, stroking her cheek. “I’m the best man, remember?”
“Oh, right,” she says with a nervous giggle. She glances over at the screen as her flight is called for boarding. “Okay. I guess this is it then. Will you call me?”
“How about I go one better than that?” I say with a grin.
“What do you mean?” she says curiously.
I take her hand in mine and look in her eyes, my heart racing.
“I emailed Rory’s A&R lady, Max, and asked her if she had any work over in Ireland. She got back to me this morning. I’ve got a six-month gig, starting next week.” I lick my lips, my mouth feeling dry. “So… I’m moving to Ireland.”
She stares at me, her mouth dropping open as she processes what I’m saying.
“Are you kidding me?” she whispers, her eyes widening. “You’d better not be. Tell me this isn’t one of your sick, pathetic jokes.”
“No, it’s not,” I say with a laugh. I cup her face in my hands and kiss her. “I wasn’t sure how you’d react,” I admit. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you since we left the house, but I’ve been so nervous—”
“You’ve known all fucking day?” she screams, punching me hard in the chest. “I could so kill you right now. You didn’t think to mention it during one of the five times I’ve balled my eyes out on the way here?”
“Ow! That hurt,” I say, rubbing my chest where her fist had landed. “Um, sorry. It never even occurred to me.”
“You’re such a fucking wanker, Ben,” she grumbles, then a smile lights up her face and she kisses me on the lips. I wrap my arms around her, holding her tight, then smooth the hair away from the beautiful Irish eyes smiling back at me.
“Maybe,” I say. “But I’m happy to be your fucking wanker.”
“Glad you know your place, but I’m not finished with you yet over this,” she says, poking me playfully in the chest. “You are so going to make it up to me when you get to Dublin. Make no mistake about that, and don’t think for a minute I’ve forgotten you still owe me a strip and a lap dance. I’ll be collecting on that too,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows.
I smile at her. “You know, I think you look even more beautiful when you’re mad,” I remark. “If that’s even possible.”
“Oh, get away with you. You’re a savage charmer, so you are. I’ll bet you can charm the birds right out of the trees, can’t you?” she replies, slapping me on the arm then picking up her bag. “Now, I really have to go, or I’ll miss my flight,” and with one final kiss on the lips, and one final squeeze of my hand, she walks toward security, looking over her shoulder and waving. I wave back, mesmerized by her long hair trailing down her back, and her sexy hips swaying with every step until she’s out of sight.
I love everything about her. In one short week, and after years of playing the field, she’s wrecked me for any other woman. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I’m missing her touch already.
I can’t wait to see her again.
Book Three features an extended epilogue to conclude Ben and Siobhan’s story
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Acknowledgements
I’d like to thank all of you, my amazing readers, Facebook fans, newsletter subscribers, beta readers and the most incredible street team for all that you do. I so appreciate your love and support from the bottom of my heart. Y’all rock! And last but not least, thanks to my editor and cover designer who make
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Irish Love Page 9