by Mav Skye
“No, no, my grandfather did. He taught me how to measure the distance between the sun, moon, and stars in approximation to the horizon. The technique fascinated Betsy so. She bought a telescope on our ninth anniversary and asked me to teach her. Sweet Betsy hadn’t realized there was even such a thing as a Sextant. That’s a sort of mathematical tool they’d use. Even Sir Isaac Newton had one. Here,” Captain Ben fished out his cell phone and pulled up his pictures while he walked over to Chloe.
The sextant was very steampunk looking. It was made out of metal. A rounded bit at the bottom like the curve of a boat, then a triangular piece sat atop the curved metal with a measuring tool, and a small telescope eyepiece to gaze through.
Captain Ben said, “My granddad had one, but I don’t know what happened to it. The next year, well, Betsy bought me one. Surprised me with it, how she found it or where, she never told me, but I taught her how to use it. We never turned on the TV again, we’d just sit up late, and we’d study the heavens…” Captain Ben trailed off.
Chloe teared up, and bit her lip. “That’s beautiful, Captain. I wish I had the privilege of meeting her.”
He nodded. “Nights like these. I’m of better use here in the office than at home.”
She put a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Chloe was filled with sadness thinking about Betsy and Alicia. Two women that were stolen away from the people they loved. Another person sprung to mind, and Chloe felt the loss more strongly than she’d ever felt before. Though she couldn’t consciously remember her Etsi, inside she yearned for her mother. And she knew that once upon a time, she had loved her mother very, very much.
“Well, that’s life you. Gotta hold on to family.” Ben patted her hand. “Gotta love ‘em while you have ‘em. Speaking of which, go on home to your family, Jackson. That’s an order.”
She raised her hand and said gently, “Yes, sir.”
When Chloe arrived home, the house was quiet. Chev had left a note against the coffee pot in the kitchen for her.
I miss you, Mom!!!
Remember my soccer game tomorrow.
Love, Chev
She picked up his note and tiptoed to his bedroom door, looking in on him. He snoozed peacefully under the dreamcatcher on his wall. She gently closed the door, then checked in on Shayla.
Her bed was covered in clothes, and her pillow bare. Chloe began to worry that Shayla wasn’t there when she spotted a bare foot hanging out half way down the bed. Somewhere under the mess of clothes and blankets was the rest of Shayla, hopefully still breathing.
Chloe edged out to the hall and glanced at her bedroom door. She could almost hear Wes’ rhythmic breathing.
She couldn’t share his bed tonight, not with the betrayal she felt by him and her Aunt.
Instead, she slipped out of her shoes and grabbed the Afghan from the back of the couch. She wrapped it around herself, and lay down, plumping up the couch pillow.
She pressed Chev’s note against her heart.
Sleep came, and so did the dreams. The dreams of the horned serpent and the dancing Clown Girl with the hatchet.
12
True Blue
SHE AWOKE AT DAWN WITH THE vision of the Clown Girl curling into the shadows. Chloe desperately wanted to comfort the child. She wanted to tell the girl that it was not she who was the monster, but the people who had forced her to perform these acts. Even still, Chloe knew that the young girl could not understand this and that her mother had truly performed the kindness by giving the girl the gift of identifying with the mythical beast of beauty, magic, and justice. In the girl’s mind, she was caught in a horrific fairy tale, but a tale that in the end, she would emerge strong, beloved and victorious over the darkness of mankind. It was why the mother constantly reminded Clown Girl she must always be true to her heart, even when she was forced to perform horrifying acts.
A phrase popped into Chloe’s mind: We trixied the eyes, but not the heart.
Chloe wondered over this for a while. The memory was at the edge of her mind she heard heavy footsteps in the hall and smelled cologne—a blend of amber, sandalwood and Brazilian rosewood.
Wes.
He was up hours earlier than usual.
She listened as he walked through the living room, into the kitchen and made breakfast.
Chloe wondered if he had risen early to avoid her, and she decided to leave her eyes closed. She didn’t want to argue either. It was clear that Wes thought she was cuckoo. Even her own Aunt thought she was crazy.
Chloe felt lost and lonely, the two people who mattered most stacked against her as if the enemy.
And why didn’t they think it strange about the clown claiming it had been an act?
Chloe turned over on the couch, and soon Wes was out of the kitchen. The scent of his cologne filled the air again along with a fresh cup of coffee and the egg sandwich he had made. He slipped into his jacket, and then the door opened and closed.
He was gone.
Chloe tossed and turned on the couch for another hour or so, until Chev wandered out of his room and snuggled up with her on the couch and flipped on the TV to watch cartoons.
They lay like that for a half hour, not speaking, just enjoying the warmth and comfort of snuggling and watching goofy cartoons on TV.
Listening to Chev giggle, Chloe knew why she didn’t just want, but needed to face her past, and figure out why she was so afraid of clowns.
She needed to do it for Chev and Shayla. Even Wes, though it seemed the exact opposite of what he wanted.
At some point, Flip Flop had wandered from his mat by the door, licked both their faces, and sidled up on the floor beside the couch, enjoying a good morning scratch.
After a while, Chev sighed. “I’m hungry.”
Chloe patted his knee. “Pancakes coming right up.”
“Is Aunt Tanya taking me to school?”
Chloe frowned. She wasn’t feeling terribly fond of her Aunt just then, and was happy they hadn’t communicated yet. “Nope. I’ll be taking you today.”
“And you’ll come to my soccer game, too?”
Chloe smiled at him, she didn’t have many appointments today. “Of course.”
“Yay!”
Chloe had him go dress while she made breakfast and let Flip Flop out into the backyard to stretch and do his morning business, then she had a shower, and dressed for work. She switched out the bandage on her forearm, though she hardly needed to replace it. The hatchet wound was healing up nicely. Almost as if it had never happened.
Music boomed from Shayla’s room, Chloe knocked on the door. “Five minutes ‘til we leave.”
Shayla emerged in the kitchen shortly after that. She wore a mini skirt, and her hair was dyed blue.
Electric blue.
Chloe’s jaw dropped, and it took a minute for her to find her voice. “When did you dye your hair?”
Shayla poured herself a cup of coffee and sniffed it before taking a sip. “Yesterday, Aunt Tanya said I could.”
Chloe shook her head. “Okaayy. Well, it certainly looks…different.”
Shayla glared at her.
Chev said, “No, she looks like a Smurf.”
“Shut up, you little—” Shayla snatched Chev’s arm, and he squealed.
“Both of you, stop it. Chev, feed Flip Flop. Shayla, back in your room and change out of that skirt.”
She put her hands on her hips. “What? You can’t be serious?”
“Dead serious.”
Shayla scowled, and made a show of dumping a full cup of coffee down the drain, before turning and stomping out of the kitchen to her room.
Chloe grabbed the counter, taking deep breaths. It took restraint not to yell at the teen or better yet, call her great Aunt up on the phone and give her a piece of her mind.
Chev flung open the sliding glass door and screamed, “Flip Flop!” then “Whoa!” as Flip Flop burst through the door, knocking Chev aside.
Flip Flop, the mud h
ound from hell, bounded across the floor, splattering mud from the dining room to the kitchen. Chloe bent and grabbed for him, but he licked her face and spun out of her grasp before leaping as graceful as a deer out the kitchen, through the living room and down the hall to Shayla’s room.
She must not have shut her door all the way because there was a scream a moment later. Then, “Mom!”
Then Flip Flop was out and down the hallway again. Chloe caught him, and walked him into the kitchen, shaking her head and biting her lip. Flip Flop heaved in happy breaths with his tongue out, wagging his tail hard enough against her thigh to give her a bruise.
Chloe lead the mud beast to the sliding glass door, opened it and said, “Out!”
The dog burst over the threshold and bounced into the yard.
“Sorry, Mom.” Chev sat on the floor with a rag, attempting to clean up the mess.
Chloe shook her head. “It’s not your fault. Better pull on your boots and feed him outside, Chev. I don’t have time to wipe him down.” There was mud everywhere.
Chloe opened the door for Chev. Flip Flop spotted him from across the yard and came running again. Chev hurried outside with the full dog food bowl. “Come on, boy.”
Flip Flop chased after Chev to the doggy barn, which wasn’t a barn but rather a small shed filled with hay to keep the large dog dry and warm when he spent time outside.
Chloe grabbed a towel and wiped the worst of the mess off the cabinets and floor, before glancing at the clock above the stove. They were running late already.
Shayla, now dressed in skinny jeans, skulked out the front door, followed by a bouncing—not terribly unlike Flip Flop, but less muddy—Chev.
Chloe filled her commuter’s coffee mug and followed them out. It had been a while since she had taken the kids to school herself, and she hadn’t realized how much she had come to rely on her Aunt. With a glance in the rearview mirror at Shayla’s hair, she knew that her reliance needed to change. Shayla’s hair was blue. What else had her Aunt let them do or get away with?
As she pulled up to the elementary school, she suddenly realized that Chev had been talking, and had paused after a question.
She glanced at him as she pulled in front of the school. “What’s that?”
“I’m just really excited about my new friend and I really want you to meet him. Aunt Tanya has been letting me go over to his house every day after school. He might even come to my game today.” He opened the door to get out.
Chloe said, “What’s your new friend’s na—” but he planted a quick kiss on her lips before she could finish and jumped out of the car, forgetting to close his door, and raced up the sidewalk toward the open school doors.
“Ugh, that little worm.” Shayla opened her door in the back, got out, and slammed the passenger door shut. She then made a show of throwing her backpack on the floor of the front seat, sat down and slammed the door closed.
“That was exciting.”
Shayla folded her arms and glared at her.
“I mean,” Chloe smiled gratefully at her teen. “Thank you, Shayla.”
“Whatever.”
As a Police Officer, she could have arrested the girl for contempt.
Chloe pulled out of the drop off lane, and asked before she forgot again. “Do you know who Chev’s new friend is?” But the blue-haired girl, who hardly resembled her daughter, had already jammed her earbuds back in, folded her arms and stared out the window.
The rest of the morning flowed smoothly. After Chloe had dropped the kids off, she headed into the office, where she chatted with a very tired looking Captain Ben for a while before sitting down at her desk and tapping over names and addresses of her parolees.
Her first appointment of the day had come to the office to meet her; then she left to meet with the others. It was a cozy, rainy afternoon, and it was a complete relief to have a routine of a normal workday.
At lunch time, when Chloe swung home to grab a sandwich, she picked up her cell and was about to text her Aunt when she received a text from Doctor Morgan.
You missed our Skype appointment
last Monday. How are you?
Chloe felt her jaw tighten. She texted back,
I still have a job, no thanks to you.
Doctor Morgan wrote,
You aren’t well, Chloe.
I did what was best for you.
I’ve always done what was best for you.
At this Chloe paused. Wasn’t that true? Hadn’t he cared for her all those years through college, then when she got married, had children. She’d been off and on various medications.
But he hadn’t been honest with her. Neither he or Tanya or Wes. If it were up to them, her past would be lost forever.
Only it wasn’t lost; it wanted to be found. That was why she had the dreams, the flashbacks. Her past was hers, nobody else’s. No one had the right to keep it from her.
She typed,
You made me forget.
You and Wes and Tanya.
Doctor Morgan didn’t respond right away, then,
You were young.
Your Aunt had custody.
She did what she thought was best at the time.
A tight smile gripped Chloe’s face. She wrote,
I stopped taking the medication,
but, you kept refilling it. Knowing that
my Aunt and husband were giving it to
me without my knowledge.
There was an even longer pause from Doctor Morgan. Chloe didn’t think he was going to respond, but then he did.
We did what we thought was best.
This infuriated Chloe. She wrote back,
What I think is best is that you never
contact me, Wes, or my Aunt, ever again.
He wrote,
Chloe, you have a severe condition.
We were protecting you.
She considered.
I do, but you made it worse.
And I don’t want your lies or
protection anymore.
Doctor Morgan called after that. She let the phone ring. She felt both elated at taking charge of her life, and scared because she’d always had the doctor to fall back on.
A reminder on her phone beeped, and she popped her anxiety prescription.
Eventually, the cell stopped ringing. Chloe decided not to call her Aunt after all. Perhaps a break was good. Even better, she would ask Tanya to move back to California, she no longer needed her help.
“You’re okay, Chloe Sevenstars,” she said out loud. She refilled her traveler’s mug and took her sandwich with her.
Two of Chloe’s appointments rescheduled, so Chloe used that time to go back in the office and do some detective work on the missing Alicia Meyers and her baby.
She had been able to get a hold of Alicia’s mother, Colleen Meyers. Colleen told Chloe the same story that was in the newspaper. Alicia had hooked up with a man in the Night Devils gang, and they hadn’t seen her for a year. Out of the blue, she had called them one night and said she was having a baby. Alicia had moved back home two weeks after the baby was born. She was in obvious distress, crying and not eating, but she wouldn’t tell them why. Colleen thought she might have had postpartum depression. She had told them little about the gang, but the one thing her mother remembered was all the women associated with the gang were like fair play property. Alicia said that they left her alone…for the most part. When Colleen asked what she meant by that, Alicia wouldn’t say anything else.
After a week, she had started applying for jobs around town and was talking about saving money up for her own apartment. The next day, Alicia and Serene disappeared again.
Colleen and Luke had gone out for supper at a local diner. When they left, Alicia had been bathing the baby and getting her ready for bed. By the time they got home, Alicia and the baby were gone. Colleen hadn’t heard from her since.
They filed a police report, but the police wouldn’t bother looking since she was a grown woman and
had disappeared before. The Meyers had put posters up around town asking for information if anyone had seen her. They had received several phone calls. At the time, they thought all of them were pranks. But Colleen now believed one of them could have been telling the truth.
A guy by the name of Burt Lowgowen. He was working at Bob’s Stop and Gas just a mile outside town. Burt claimed a woman matching Alicia’s description had come in with a gun and asked for all the money out of the register. She was holding a baby and seemed frightened.
He had given her the money, and she had fled out the door on foot. He hadn’t seen a car. He had phoned the police after she left, and they had made a report.
Colleen and Luke had gone there on multiple occasions to talk with Burt, but he had been fired and the owner, Bob, refused to give out Burt’s address or phone number.
Chloe scribbled the information down on her notepad, thanked Colleen and hung up.
Her Aunt had texted her while she’d been on the phone.
Picked up kids from school.
Meet you at Chev’s game.
Chloe felt all the anger she had against her Elogi melt away. She loved her like a mother, and until she knew for sure what she had or hadn’t done, Chloe felt she should give her the benefit of the doubt. After a minute she texted back,
I’ll bring coffees.
Tanya wrote back,
Lovely! See you there.
A few minutes later, she had found the police report for Bob’s Stop and Gas. The officer taking the report had been lazy, and the narrative had been left empty.
Bob’s Stop and Gas address was on the report. She wrote it down in her notepad and glanced at the clock.
13
Clowns are Funny, Not Scary
AFTER THE GAME, CHLOE TOOK THE kids and her Aunt out to pizza at their favorite restaurant, Papa Pete’s. It was a tall, narrow restaurant with long windows. A spiral staircase led up to the second floor that sported a pool table, air hockey, and several retro arcade games. There was extra seating on a balcony that looked over the main seating area. Nestled into a glass wall, a gas fireplace blazed and spread warmth both to the inside of the restaurant and those who chose to sit outside. Chloe specifically requested the table in front of the fireplace as they all were drenched after Chev’s game. They had had an umbrella, but the wind had blown so hard, it did little good to keep them dry.