by May Dawson
Nothing to be afraid of.
But the memory of the beasts I’d just been dreaming about, the ones that had killed Liam, still made my heart race like I was going into a fight.
A fight I knew I’d lose.
I’d dreamt too many times of the night I watched Liam die.
Tonight, though, I’d stepped out into the night with my sword in hand and faced down the three monsters as they tore at bodies…
Only to realize that the bodies belonged to Tristan, Cade, and Nix.
I scrubbed my face with my hands, trying to push away the nightmare. At least when I was at the academy, I was so exhausted that I usually fell into sleep so deep that I didn’t remember anything when Hanna’s alarm started blasting. Maybe I had nightmares, but at least I didn’t remember them.
The nightmares reminded me too much of when I was a little girl. I’d been afraid to sleep because in my sleep I relived the day that Liam carried me past my parents’ bodies.
I’d been a mess of a little kid. I’d barely talked to anyone. I hadn’t learned to read until I was eight. Other kids made me feel stupid and worthless. If Liam hadn’t been there for me, I might have really believed I was. The dojo had given me a place to feel powerful, and he’d given me a place to feel loved.
I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head to get rid of the memories, but of course, it was never that easy.
I could never go back to sleep when I was like this, so I got out of bed, shivering in the cool night air—I had wiggled out of my leather pants and my bra for the night, under the covers—and headed for the bathroom.
I cracked the door halfway shut before I turned on the lights because I didn’t want to wake Nix. Then I sat on the floor with my cupped hands in front of me.
Nix could summon his spark of magic. He used his bad memories to power his magic. Maybe I could do the same.
After all, the bad memories wouldn’t let me go. The darkness I carried might as well serve me.
I closed my eyes and I tried to remember, to really remember, my childhood.
The man who had pushed me on the swing and kissed my scraped knee with tender lips hadn’t really been my father.
The woman who sang “Carry On, My Wayward Son” as a lullaby—a strange choice, Mom, but I loved that song forever—had been raped to bring me into the world.
Had there ever been any signs, any cracks in their love for me?
I couldn’t remember any. I squeezed my eyes shut the way I had when Liam told me, before he carried me in his arms through our house. I’d smelled the iron tang of blood in the air, and I’d opened my eyes.
Both my parents had been tied to chairs in the living room. Their heads lolled forward, their eyes were still open, but there was no life there. Their blood had soaked into the carpet and sprayed across the walls.
I opened my eyes, but there was no flicker of magic.
“What are you doing?” Nix leaned in the doorway, watching me with genuine curiosity. His powerful arms were knit over his bare chest.
“Trying to summon my magic,” I said.
He crouched next to me with his usual easy grace. “It’s three o’clock in the morning, D. We’ve got a long day ahead.”
I nodded. I didn’t want to tell him that I couldn’t sleep. Nix never seemed to falter. I didn’t want him to think I was weak. I’d rather lay in bed and stare up at the shadows across the ceiling.
“Nightmare?” His voice was quiet, and it didn’t hold a note of judgment.
Instead of answering, I asked, “Do you ever have them?”
“All the damn time.” He rose easily to his feet, offering me his hand. “Come on. Back to bed.”
“Truby claimed it was the Council who really killed my parents,” I blurted out. “Not vampires, like I grew up thinking…”
“Do you believe him?” He asked with genuine curiosity.
“I don’t trust him,” I said. “I don’t know.”
“We’ll figure it out together,” he said. “But not tonight.”
He was still holding his hand out. Reluctantly, I grabbed his firm hand and let him pull me to my feet. My fingers accidentally stroked over the callouses and scars that marred his knuckles.
“I didn’t know I was a witch,” I said. “What was it like for you, growing up in a Hunting family? Did you know?”
“Yeah.” He tumbled into bed again, then held his arm out to me.
I frowned at him, perplexed.
“Jesus,” he said. “I’ve never been on a date in my life, but you’re even worse off than me. The idea, D, is that you put your head on my shoulder. It’ll be easier for you to sleep.”
The desire to press myself against him was so intense that it scared me. I managed to smirk. “Is that a promise?”
“It’s science,” he said without hesitation. “We’re pack animals.”
I didn’t want to be alone, it was true. He looked at me as if he was daring me, with the faint hint of a smile playing at the corners of his lips and a challenge in his eyes.
I slid into bed beside him, then gingerly rested my head on the hard pillow of his shoulder. He smelled good, even after the long day we’d had.
He wrapped his arm around me, resting his hand lightly on my hip. “Sleep better.”
“Is that an order?”
“Do you ever follow orders?” There was humor in his voice. Cade wouldn’t have said it as a joke.
“You really have never been on a date?”
He yawned. “I’m a witch in a Hunter’s world. No Hunter wants to bring me home to their parents, and no civilian could survive my life. So no, I’ve never been on a date.”
I was quiet for a second, digesting this information. He’d lost so much because he was a witch in a Hunter’s world. He turned toward me absently, his chin resting on the top of my head. His breath stilled as if he was already falling back asleep.
“You’re a virgin?” I asked.
His chest shook with suppressed laughter. “That’s kind of personal, isn’t it?”
“We’re cuddling.”
“Right, but we’re cuddling like Hunters. For a purpose.”
I raised my eyebrows, even though he couldn’t see my skepticism in the dark.
“Go to sleep,” he ordered.
“Is Cade a virgin?”
“Holy shit, Deidra.” He rolled over onto his back, pulling the pillow out from under my head to drop it on top of my face instead.
I grabbed the pillow and slipped it back under my head, trying to get comfortable. “I just want to know!”
“Then ask him,” he said. “Cade would be delighted to answer your questions, I’m sure.”
“Tristan isn’t,” I said. Julia had commented on their past sexual history, and Tristan hadn’t denied it. I was sure he would have if he could, given that he called her a miserable piece of burnt toast. “Sorry. Just musing out loud.”
“Yeah, musing is only allowed in daylight.” He muttered, rolling back so close to me that his breath was in my hair. “Time to shut up.”
“You don’t appreciate me musing by day either,” I pointed out.
He ignored me. His heartbeat under my ear slowed as he fell into sleep. I was jealous—I wished I could fall asleep so easily.
But then, pleasant drowsiness crowded my head. I let my eyes drift shut, feeling the soft rise and fall of his chest, the warm muscle of his arm around me, the constant, low beat of his heart against my cheek.
And I fell into sleep right behind him.
Chapter Eight
In the morning, Nix and I headed into a department store for a change of clothes. I grabbed a tank top, a flannel shirt and a pair of jeans, and he frowned.
“What?” I demanded, slinging the flannel shirt over my shoulder. “Are you going to criticize my fashion sense now too?”
“You’re trying not to look so much like…you,” he said. “Time to lose the badass look.”
“What do you want me to wear?” I asked, my voice exa
sperated.
He plucked a lacy white sweater from a display. “Be glad it’s not summer. I’d make you wear a dress.”
“I’m picking your clothes out too then,” I shot back.
“Have at it.” Nix’s voice carried that familiar edge of amusement.
Two hours later, the two of us headed toward the library side-by-side. Even a button-down shirt and a sweater vest couldn’t conceal the dangerous way Nix carried himself.
But it did make me smile.
What didn’t make me smile was the orange-blond hair that Nix had helped me dye in the motel bathroom, or the soft pink blush and lip gloss.
“I look like a country music wanna-be,” I muttered as we headed up the stairs.
“Oh, don’t put yourself down, baby. I think you look like a star.” Nix winked at me as he opened the door.
The two of us headed into a small town library. There were two computers in a corner. He logged onto one while I paced next to him, reading the titles on the mystery covers nearby. The librarian sat at her desk nearby, ignoring us as she sorted the morning’s returns from the book drop.
“How’s the weather forecast?” I asked him.
“Dismal.” He clicked to log off. “High pressure front coming in from the north. Time to hit the road again.”
My heart dropped.
Nix and I stood, but suddenly Nix twisted to one side, catching me around the waist.
He pushed me up against the stacks in between two shelves, concealed from the door. His lips caressed the side of my throat as my pulse suddenly raced. We had to be in danger.
But that wasn’t the only reason my heart was suddenly galloping.
“Hunters just came in the door,” he whispered, his lips grazing my ear. “Try to act crazy about me, all right? Lost in each other?”
I nodded, barely daring to breathe. Yeah. Tough act.
His lips trailed across my cheek to kiss the corner of my mouth. I tilted my face up to his, and our lips grazed tentatively.
His light blue eyes flared with genuine warmth. I’d never been quite close enough to study his face this intimately. The light blue surrounding his pupil was so light it was almost silver before it flared to the same blue as a vibrant Caribbean sea under the sunlight. His eyes were heavily lashed, and there was a scar at the edge of one dark eyebrow.
In the distance, I heard a man’s low, husky voice announcing himself as a cop to the librarian. “Have you seen either of these two individuals?”
I barely breathed.
“No,” she said.
“Thank you.” But instead of heading away, footsteps headed toward us. Slowly. As if he were checking the aisles.
Nix kissed me hard, his big shoulders tenting me from view. I slipped my hands up over the hard planes of his cheekbones, covering his face to hide him from view. With our hair changed and our new clothes, the librarian hadn’t recognized us. A Hunter would be harder to fool, but maybe…
Nix’s lips were soft, his lower lip pillowy, an unexpected softness in his otherwise chiseled face. His lips caressed mine before nipping gently at my lower lip. He kissed me like he knew me, his hands cupping my hips. I could feel each individual fingertip that rested on my ass as if my body was acutely attuned to his.
The man at the end of the aisle hesitated. I could feel him there. Then he went on.
But Nix didn’t stop kissing me. His lips seared to mine, and I slipped against him, grinding forward against his thigh as his leg pressed between mine.
Now that Nix’s hands were on my body and his lips were against mine, I didn’t want to stop.
The bells chimed at the door. The man had left the library.
Nix pulled away. His tongue left mine, but his gaze lingered on my eyes for a second.
Then he leaned back in and planted a soft, tentative kiss on my lips.
That one was real, not pretend. I stared up at him, feeling my heart pound wildly in my chest, my breath coming short.
That close call with a Hunter hadn’t rattled me.
But the way Nix had kissed me…that left me feeling undone.
“Come on,” he murmured, twining his fingers in mine. “Let’s get out of town.”
He’d said the weather said storms coming from the north.
“Southbound?” I asked lightly.
He nodded.
The two of us headed out of the library and down the steps. We were almost to the motorcycle, which we’d concealed in a parking lot behind an apartment building in the hopes of blending in.
Then two men swung out from between cars on opposite sides of us, blocking us in.
“Hey there, Nix,” the first one said. He had his hand on the inside of his jacket. His voice was a low, familiar rumble. He was the man from the library.
Hunters.
“Hey, Jude,” Nix said without missing a beat, already turning toward the second man. He glanced at the stranger with an unruffled expression. “I don’t know you.”
“You don’t want to, witch,” the stranger warned, a malevolent glint in his eye.
“I’ll take your word for it,” Nix said, and without missing a beat, he threw himself at the unnamed man.
I went for Jude. He was already pulling out a taser. Not a gun. Good. They wanted to take us alive.
I knocked his hand sideways, away from me, and stepped in toward him, trying to get control over his grip. He dropped the taser, immediately catching it with his free hand. He slammed it toward me, but I was already twisting back. The cruel electric buzz missed me.
He was better trained than the shifters we’d run into the day prior. I guess I’d expect that. The academy wasn’t useless.
I slammed the edge of my hand down on the inside of his arm, hitting a pressure point. His fingers opened around the taser, which hit the ground, and I kicked it away under the car.
He grabbed for me and I dodged, then used the opening to catch his arm and slam my knee into his side. He grunted but didn’t stop coming, trying to wrap his arm around my throat. I ducked, using my smaller size to my advantage to be a hard target, before slamming the edge of my boot into his calf.
“Over here!” he shouted before he slammed into the ground and it knocked the breath out of his lungs.
Fuck. More Hunters were on their way.
I had to finish this. I didn’t want to hurt one of my fellow Hunters—as long as they weren’t trying to kill me—but I finally managed to take him to the ground. I controlled his arm, maintain pressure on his joint that made him groan against the pavement.
Beyond Nix, I saw four more Hunters arrive.
“Nix,” I said, urgency in my voice. “We’ve got company.”
“Get out of here,” Nix told me. “Get the bike.”
“I’m not leaving you.”
“I wasn’t asking,” he snapped back. “Go!”
His icy blue eyes smoldered, his jaw tight. When the guy came at him from behind, Nix didn’t even break eye contact with me. He slammed his elbow into his nose, then caught the guy, dropping him to the ground.
God, I was so turned on.
“Listen for once,” he gritted, whirling to face the rest of them. “I’ll be right behind you. But if something happens, just go.”
He didn’t plan to be right behind me. I could feel that as the three of them spread out across from him, drawing their swords.
Nix’s tall, broad-shouldered body was between me and them as if he would die to protect me.
I could fight by his side, or I could run…for a chance to get both of us out of here.
Leaving him behind made my heart ache.
But Hunters were supposed to be smart.
I took off running.
I left Nix behind.
Chapter Nine
When I rode back to get Nix, I expected to find him still fighting. But the alley where I’d left him was empty. Frowning, I accelerated slowly, trying to figure out where he might be. I turned the bike around and headed for the street.
The street was empty.
Oh my god, where was Nix? Panic bloomed in my chest, surprising me as it stole the air from my lungs. I’d left him, and I’d let him down, and now he might be dead…
Suddenly, he emerged from the shadows of a building. He must have gotten away from them and hidden. He ran across the street toward me.
The rev of an engine split the quiet. A car flew out of nowhere and slammed into him. He hit the windshield with a sickening crack. No, no…
Hunters.
They were already piling out of the car as I zoomed up. Their faces were a blur to me.
Nix lay across the hood. The windshield was spidered with cracks.
Unbelievably, he got slowly to his feet. Then he stood to his full height on the hood, ready for a fight.
I slowed, then reached out to slam one of the guys who had just gotten out of the car into it. He fell against the door.
Nix jumped off the hood and onto the back of the bike. The bike swayed sideways under his weight, but I kept our balance.
Nix’s arms closed around my waist as the two of us raced off.
Into my ear, he growled, “You had to find a way to drive, didn’t you?”
I grinned. “Are you okay?”
“For now.”
I didn’t like the way he said that. “You’re hurt.”
“Focus on the road, Deathwish.”
“Where are we going?”
He hesitated. “My old safe house. It’ll give Cade and Tris somewhere to meet up with us.”
“I thought you said better worrying than grieving.” They weren’t supposed to know where we were.
“It’s different now.” He shifted closer to me on the bike, and despite having just been hit by a car, I could swear I felt something hard pressing against the curve of my ass. “Now that they’ve sent all those Hunters after us.”
I thought of the tasers. “They weren’t trying to kill me.”
“Yeah,” he said, a bitter edge in his voice. “Small mercies.”
“So we disappear?” I asked. “Is that the idea?”