by Kristy Love
“I don’t have any showings, either. Want to do something?”
“What would you like to do?”
I fought to keep the surprise off my face. The fact that she asked me to do something with her outside of the bedroom shocked the hell out of me. “Hmm. I’m not sure. I just thought we could spend some time together, you know? I’m not ready to leave you yet.”
I walked over to her until I stood between her knees. I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and pulled her face toward me, our lips just a breath away. “You’re not leaving me.” I pressed my lips to hers, claiming her in my own way. Just as quickly as I invaded her space, I moved back to the stove, flipping the eggs. “My mate has a boat docked nearby. I can call him and see if we can take it out today.”
“Have you ever driven a boat before?” Her voice was incredulous, as though I wasn’t capable.
“Of course.”
She jumped off the counter and grabbed two mugs out of the cabinet. “It sounds like a great idea. I’d need a swimsuit, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll run home and grab mine after breakfast.” I nodded and she poured the coffee. She handed me mine black and loaded hers up with cream and sugar. Her knowing how I took my coffee unnerved me. I hadn’t realized she’d paid that much attention. I sipped my cuppa as she set her mug down and refilled it. I hadn’t ever spent the morning with her and was fascinated to learn more about her. How quickly she downed her coffee, the way she mumbled in her sleep, and how she gravitated toward me in her sleep. They were all things I could get used to.
We ate breakfast, chatting easily. She was relaxed and seemed to be enjoying herself. She was in nothing but her panties and my shirt, and the sight turned me on unbelievably.
After breakfast, I cleaned up while she went to get dressed so she could run home. I would pick her up at her house in an hour.
She came back into the kitchen and pressed me into the counter. Her arms wrapped themselves around my neck and she buried her hands in my hair. Her lips pressed to mine, devouring me. I lost myself in her as I slid my hands under her skirt to grab her ass and pull her closer. I thought I’d get to take her again in the kitchen until she pulled away. She crossed the room and slipped on her jacket.
“I’ll see you a little later,” she said as she swung her purse over her shoulder. I nodded as she left.
This girl was the definition of blue balls.
Roxie
I SAT ON the side of the powerboat as we sliced through the water, the wind whipping my hair around my face, the sun warming my skin. It was clear David loved racing it across the water. I enjoyed the feel of it skimming and skipping over the small wakes made by other boats. I looked over at him and was captivated by him. The way the wind blew his hair, the serious expression on his face, the casual way he gripped the wheel as he steered us across the large lake.
Something changed last night. Between hanging out and sleeping next to David, I felt the shift in me. I tried to come across as tough, but he was crawling under my skin. The walls I used to surround myself were slowly disintegrating, piece by piece. Instead of that idea filling me with panic, I was filled with hope.
For the first time in years, I felt anticipation. And an absence of fear.
David stopped the boat and cut the engine. We bobbed on the water as he pulled the sails and dropped anchor before coming to sit next to me. The sun was almost too hot on my skin, but our warm days were numbered and I wanted to enjoy them before summer turned to fall.
I let my gaze scan the scenery. “It’s gorgeous out here.” The shore was way off in the distance and it almost felt as if we were in the middle of the ocean. Other boats moved around us, though most stayed far enough away. It felt as though it was just David and me, shrouded in privacy.
“It is.” I turned to David and he was studying me, something behind his eyes.
“It’s almost as if we’re in another world.” The intensity rolling off him had me on edge.
“It’s peaceful.” I felt the absence of his eyes as they left mine to gaze across the water. “I used to come out here with Dylan all the time.”
“Dylan?”
“He owns the boat. He works at the shop. His family uses the boat a lot, but he told me that I could use it any time as long as they weren’t planning on using it.”
“That’s nice of him.” I wondered how much Dylan made at the shop to be able to afford a boat like this. It wasn’t a yacht or anything, but it was nice.
“He’s one of the few friends I have.” The sincerity and sadness in David’s voice weren’t lost on me. I turned my attention to him, studying the side of his face as he looked out over the water. His lips were turned down into a slight frown, either from the truth of the statement or from admitting it to me.
For the first time, I wondered if David was as lonely as I was. He put up a good front. He had a busy work schedule, a decent number of employees, a sister and a niece he loved dearly, but no one close to him. He’d never gone to watch a game or to a party. He seemed alone and isolated.
This realization made me sad, and I wanted to touch him. I closed the small distance between us and climbed into his lap, straddling his legs. I wrapped my arms around his neck and toyed with the hair hanging down onto his neck.
“You have me,” I said.
“That’s different.” He wouldn’t meet my eyes and that bothered me. Did he feel vulnerable? Like I could reject him? I couldn’t imagine ever rejecting him.
“How is it different?”
He breathed steadily for long moments. I was convinced he wouldn’t answer, but I was content just to touch him. Slowly, his arms came around me. One hand rested on my knee and slid up my thigh. The other rested on the exposed flesh of my back. I suddenly felt exposed in my bikini, but I didn’t want to move away from him. I didn’t want him to think he was losing me, even for a second.
His palm was warm against my skin, though goosebumps danced across my flesh. Would I always react to him this way? His eyes came up and met mine.
“It’s different because we’re shagging. You’re kind of stuck with me.” One side of his mouth quirked up in a smirk, though it was halfhearted. It didn’t reach his eyes.
I rested my head against his chest. His heart beat quickly and I was comforted by the sound. “I’m not stuck with you, David. I’m here because I want to be.”
“How long until that changes, love? How long until you’ve had enough?”
I had no idea where this came from or why he was so serious all of a sudden. My heart ached in my chest. I wondered if someone had hurt him. Then I realized, maybe I had hurt him with all my running. “I’m not planning on going anywhere.”
“Good.” His arms tightened around my waist, crushing me to him.
We stayed like that for a long time, holding each other, finding comfort in each other’s embraces. The entire time my head was against his chest, his heart beat a quick rhythm and his fingers skated over my skin. It was intimate and comfortable. There was no expectation of this turning into anything else, and surprisingly, I was okay with it. I craved the closeness.
When my flesh hurt from the sun’s relentless rays, I sat up and smiled at David. “What do you say we get in and swim for a bit?” Instead of an answer, David smiled, and this time it reached his eyes. He stood with me wrapped around him and moved closer to the edge of the boat. He lowered his head to mine and kissed me, hard. I lost myself in the stroke of his tongue, the pressure from his lips. Just as I was about to beg him to touch me, he lifted me and threw me into the lake. I went under, the water swirling around my head. I swam up toward the surface and spit out the water that entered my mouth when I went under.
“That was a dick move!” I yelled. His response was to jump into the water next to me and dunk me back under.
Thus, the water battle started. For a long time, we splashed, dunked, and messed with each other. We were both out of breath and soaked by the time we climbed back on
to the boat.
“I have to get the boat back to the marina,” he said. As he pulled up the anchor, I wrapped a towel around myself and went to sit next to him. As he powered up the boat and set our course for the docks, I reached over and grabbed his hand, entwining our fingers. We didn’t let go until we had to. And it was wonderful.
David: I’m sorry. I have to go out of town last minute so I have to cancel our weekend plans. A client called. It’s a big job.
Roxie: That sucks! But go make that money ;)
David: I’ll make it up to you, I promise.
Roxie: I’m sure you will. xo
I SMILED AND pocketed my phone. Since the day on the boat, David and I had gotten closer. We texted throughout the day and talked on the phone at night. That was, if we weren’t together. A few nights a week, I spent the night at his place. He had spent the night at mine a few times, as well.
Things were good. Really good.
Feelings were growing inside of me, changing and evolving and consuming. I enjoyed being around him. I liked our conversations, I looked forward to spending time with him, and I stopped fighting it. My guard was falling and my heart was healing. The holes that had been in my heart since that day I walked in on Robert were filling in. David was filling them.
I felt myself falling more and more for him. I let it wash over me, all the feelings and emotions. I swam in the waters of David and I kept going back for more.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out, seeing I had a text from Harper. I hadn’t seen her in a long time since I was so wrapped up in everything with David. I never wanted to be that girl. The girl who spent all her time with a guy. I think the newness and the feelings were blinding me from the outside world. It was time to fix that.
Harper: I miss your face. I haven’t seen you in over a month. PLEASE tell me you can get together tomorrow night. I told Hugh we were going out and he was on his own.
Roxie: A night out with no husband?! Whatever will we do?
Harper: Does that mean we’re on? I get to squeeze you?
Roxie: Let’s do it.
Harper: Yay! Usual place?
Roxie: Yeah. I’m free any time after 5.
Harper: Let’s do 5:30. We can do eats and drinks and chats.
Roxie: Perfect! See you then!
I was happy to reconnect with Harper. I didn’t want to lose myself in David, though I didn’t think I was. I felt like me, just less closed off. I couldn’t wait to get together with Harper. I missed her, too.
“TWO SEX ON the Beaches!” Harper yelled and slapped the bar. I laughed. She acted like she was drunk, but she was sober. We’d both only had one drink and we’d just had a full meal. I think she was happy to be out of the house and hanging out with me. It’d been so long and she was filling me in on life at her house. It was great catching up, though I kept the conversation away from David. My time was almost up. She’d told me about her job, her husband, her family, and her new cleaning schedule.
I was running out of avoidance material.
Once the bartender handed Harper the two drinks and she paid, we made our way over to a table and sat down. She took a long sip of her drink and kept her eyes trained on me.
“Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’re avoiding talking. It’s time to spill it. David. Details. Now.” She raised an eyebrow, clearly meaning business.
I stirred my drink, my eyes focused on the movement of the straw. “What do you want to know?”
“Everything. Is he why you’ve been so MIA lately?”
I nodded. “I’ve been spending more time with him.”
“Do you like him?”
“Of course I like him. I couldn’t hang out with him or sleep with him if I didn’t like him.”
Her hand closed over the top of mine and squeezed, causing my eyes to meet hers. “No, do you like him? Is it more for you than sex?” I studied her face, mostly to gain my own confidence. It was scary to think about admitting my feelings. I nodded slowly, watching her face for any change. To her credit, she kept her features schooled.
“I think I’m falling for him, Harper.” I delivered the sentence as though I was telling her someone died. In reality, I was scared out of my mind. I was so afraid of being hurt, but I couldn’t stop the way he made me feel. The sweet gestures, the things he said, the way he acted around me were thawing me. He acted like I was the only girl in the world to him and that touched a place deep inside me that I didn’t even know was hurting.
I wanted to be someone’s only. The thought of being David’s only . . . it was more than I could ever hope for. It was quickly becoming a deep desire.
“It’s okay, Rox. You’re allowed to feel something for someone. It’s not the end of the world.”
“But what if it is? What if I’m not good enough for him? What if he decides that there’s someone else out there for him that is better? More attractive?”
“Don’t do that. You know you’re beautiful and smart. You’ve kept his interest for the last few months, right? Why do you think that’d change?”
“Because I don’t feel good enough,” I said, my voice small. Tears stung my eyes and I felt vulnerable. In the last few months I’d felt vulnerable way too many times. I hated the feeling.
“Babe, you are so much more than enough that it’s scary. If I were a guy, I’d totally be in love with you.”
I laughed. “Stop being ridiculous.”
“No, I’m serious. You can’t let Robert mess with your head. Yes, he cheated on you, lied to you, and was a coward about it. Think about his issues, though. He was hiding his true self. He was pretending to be someone he wasn’t. You can’t project that onto yourself. It wasn’t that you weren’t good enough for him, it was that you weren’t the one for him.”
“I know.”
“I mean, you have the wrong parts, babe. No matter how much you guys loved each other, you will always be a girl.”
I laughed again. Harper was always good at keeping the conversation light, yet telling me what I needed to hear. I’d forgiven Robert. We’d actually had another conversation a couple years ago. He was happily out of the closet and in a relationship with another man. He apologized for dragging me down with him and told me how much he still loved me—as a friend. I forgave him, but it was hard to move past. He was my first love, and he broke my heart. I may have been the wrong person for him, but I thought we had a future together.
“You know I forgave him, but it’s still hard to get over that rejection.”
“You’re moving past it now. By giving David a chance and exploring these feelings you have with him, you’re letting go of the past. Doesn’t that make you feel better? Freer?”
“I feel like . . . I feel like I can feel love again. And not the love I had with Robert, but in love. Like, soul consuming love.”
Tears sprung to Harper’s eyes. “I’m so happy for you, Roxie. Really, really happy.”
“I’m happy, too. For the first time in a long time.”
“Have you talked to David about any of this? Are you ready to move this past exclusive fuck buddies? Have you considered a relationship?”
I took a long sip of my drink and considered her question. The short answer was yes, I had considered it. But at the same time, it terrified me. What if he was happy with the way things were? What if he didn’t want more with me? I hated feeling so insecure. I usually didn’t care what anyone thought or said, but David was different. I wanted him to want me the way I wanted him.
Insecurity was a bitch, and I wished she would go plague someone else.
“I have, but . . . I’m not sure.”
“He’s not going to reject you.”
“How do you know?”
“Because he’d be crazy if he did.” She rested her arms against the table and leaned forward. “Let’s be honest. Would he agree to be exclusive with you if he wasn’t interested? And let’s break it down more, aren’t you guys already essentially dating? You’re spending nigh
ts at his place, you’re hanging out, and you’re not sleeping with anyone else. What else do you need to add to your relationship to make it dating? A title? An official conversation?”
“What do you want me to say to him? ‘David, will you please be my boyfriend?’ Doesn’t that sound lame? I’m a fucking adult, not a high school girl with a crush.”
“Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Say you want to make things more serious, that you want to progress to the next level.”
I nodded, thinking over my options. Did I want to make things more serious between us? The more I thought about it, I did. “He’s out of town this weekend. I’ll talk to him next week.”
“You have to call me and tell me what he says.”
“Of course.”
We spent the rest of the night talking, chatting, and dancing on the small parquet dance floor. It was good to connect with her, spend time, and let loose. I also liked that she helped me sort my shit out. I had no idea what I’d do without Harper in my life.
“ROXIE!” MIA EXCLAIMED, jumping out of her seat and wobbling over toward me. “It’s so amazing to see you!”
“Hi, Mia. How are you doing?” I hugged her and her baby bump poked into my stomach. She was only five months along, but her bump was pretty big on her small frame. She still looked adorable and was rocking a beautiful navy dress that fell just above her knees.
“I’m great. The morning sickness is over and I’m not as tired. We’re all settled into the house, too!”
“That’s awesome! How are you liking it there?”
“I love the house. Like, seriously love it. I’ve gotten the nursery painted, Gia’s room painted, and furniture finally arranged the way I want it. It feels even more like home than it already did.”
I smiled wide. I loved hearing that clients loved the houses they bought. It was a big investment and a huge decision. There was always a chance of buyers’ remorse and there were a few times when clients got angry with me when that set in. It was always awkward because they made the decision, not me. I didn’t have any say. I took them to the house, showed them around, answered their questions, and facilitated the sale. I didn’t tell them what to buy or not to buy. When someone was happy, I felt I’d done a good job, like I’d helped someone find a little piece of home. Isn’t that what we all wanted? Somewhere to feel at home? “I’m so glad, Mia. Really.”