by Kristy Love
“Is everything okay?” Roxie asked. Her eyes were sad.
“The doctors want to talk to me.” I lowered my eyes to my desk. I didn’t want to give away the emotion that was killing me softly from the inside. “I needed a little time before I went over there and heard what they had to say.” I raised my face and smiled at them. Hopefully, I was convincing.
Roxie’s face fell. “What do they want to talk to you about?”
“I’m not sure.”
David’s lips pressed into a firm line. “It can’t be good.” Roxie shoved into his shoulder and they shared another look. It punctuated how empty my heart felt.
“I’m sure it’s fine,” Roxie forced a smile. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, it’s okay. You guys have dinner reservations.” I couldn’t even get a smile to cross my lips.
Roxie’s smile slipped off her face. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to go alone.”
“It’s okay. I’m fine.” Again, I couldn’t get my face to even twitch into a smile.
“Mia,” David said, though I raised my hand and cut him off.
“I don’t need you to babysit me. I’ll be fine.” David relented, though his eyes scrutinized my face. “I need to get to the hospital. I just wanted to come in and get a few of these files sorted.”
“Call me when you’re done?” David raised his eyebrows and pressed his lips together. He wasn’t happy that I was going alone, but I didn’t care. I needed some time alone with my baby girl.
“I will.” I walked around the desk and Roxie pulled me into a hug.
“I love you, Mia. I’m here for you. Fuck the dinner reservations. If you need me, I’m there, okay?” She backed up so she could look in my eyes.
I nodded, emotion clogged my throat. “Of course.”
We said our good-byes and I set my shoulders. I tried to walk casually through the front door, but my feet felt weighed down by cement blocks. As soon as I pulled out of the parking lot, tears filled my eyes and blurred my vision.
The last year had been hard. I watched David fall more and more in love as my own life fell apart; it was excruciating. He found a contentedness and a happiness that centered him in life—he found the other part to his soul.
My soul was ripped apart. My divorce was final. Though I didn’t miss Brock, it was still hard to imagine my marriage as over. I wasn’t in love with my ex, but the connection with him made all of the shit filling my life more concrete. He never once called to check on the daughter he put in the coma. He’d never sent money. Nothing.
Again, I was alone.
David and Roxie were there for me all the time, but no one was there for me at night, when I was in bed in the dark.
I fought down and wrestled my intense emotions back into the cage I kept them in. I had to keep them locked up or they’d drive me absolutely crazy. I was barely holding on as it was.
At the hospital, I made my way to Gia’s room, though every step felt as though I was getting closer to my doom.
I sank into a chair beside Gia’s bed and held her hand. Before long, the doctor came in, glanced at me, and continued flipping through his chart.
“Mrs. Abernathy. How are you doing?” He didn’t even look at me, just looked down at the papers in his hand.
“I’m fine. How are you?” Again, I kept the charade up, pretended my world wasn’t shattered, and splintered, and dying.
“I wanted to talk to you about Gia.” He looked up at me without bothering to answer my question. I took a deep breath to steady myself. “This morning, we discovered some pressure sores on Gia’s heel.”
I furrowed my brows. “I thought she didn’t have any.”
“It’s common in coma patients, especially when they’re in one as long as Gia has been.” He closed the chart. “The nurses cleaned them and dressed them, but they discovered one that looks pretty bad.” My heart sank. I knew what that meant. Even with all the precautions the hospital took, pressure sores were still a concern. They had been keeping an eye on Gia since she’d entered the long term part of the hospital, to keep her in the best health possible. Several months ago, they’d been able to wean Gia off the ventilator. Since then, they transferred her to this part of the hospital. Sometimes, it felt like they sent Gia here to slowly wither away. I knew they did the best for her that they could, but it’d been over a year. My daughter was still in a coma, no signs of waking up.
“How bad?”
The doctor rubbed his chin and looked to the side. “I’m concerned. Her white count is high. I’m afraid it’ll become septic. We’ve started medication already, but we’ll have to keep an eye on it.”
My heart sank even lower. From my endless hours of research about coma patients, I knew that these sores could be the death of my sweet girl. My heart twisted at the thought that she’d only been alive for three years, and one-third of it was spent in this bed. The accident didn’t kill her. Her injuries didn’t kill her. A bedsore could be the end of her. “What are the chances of the infection being fatal?”
He rubbed his stubbled chin again. “The infection has spread some.” He walked over to the bed and pulled down the blankets that covered my daughter’s tiny body. Another stab to my heart as I took in her pale, motionless form. Her heel was covered in a bandage. “It’ll heal fine, I’m sure, but you needed to be made aware. We’re doing everything we can for your daughter, Mrs. Abernathy.”
“Mia. Please call me Mia. I’m not Mrs. Abernathy anymore.” The news made me feel shaky, as though I was about to collapse. I knew if the infection spread, the bacteria would enter her bloodstream and cause all kinds of issues that I couldn’t even bear to think about. Realistically, she could die. “How did no one notice this earlier? This isn’t a sore that developed overnight. It clearly was there for longer.” Again, the doctor rubbed his chin. I wondered if it was his avoidance trick. “Basically, someone wasn’t doing their job and they put my daughter at risk.” Fear and anger were a deadly mix. Add in that I had nothing to lose, and I didn’t hold back my feelings.
“Mrs. Abernathy,” he said.
“Mia. My name is Mia!” I screamed. I moved to my daughter’s bed and gently removed her leg from his hand and rested it against the mattress. I covered her up. The entire time, my hands shook and my body trembled. It was hard not to think of worst-case scenarios. My life had become one.
Lose my baby. Lose my husband. I guess now it was time to lose the only person I had left.
Tears filled my eyes. “Please do everything you can for my daughter, Dr. Henderson.” I lifted my eyes to his, which were wide with shock.
“I promise we will.”
“I can’t lose her. She deserves better care.”
“I agree.” He nodded and took a few steps backward.
“Thank you.”
The doctor left the room and I collapsed into a chair, sniffling to fight back the sobs that threatened to overwhelm me. A nurse came into the room and patted my shoulder. “Would you like to go for a cup of coffee? Or perhaps a walk?”
“I’d like to stay with my daughter,” I said. I climbed into bed with Gia, her impossibly small body covered in tubes.
“Of course.” The nurse eyed me warily as I navigated around the tubes and wires and snuggled in close. A hot knife sliced through me as I contemplated what was keeping my daughter alive right now. It twisted deeper when I considered how quickly she could leave me alone in the world.
The nurse left me as I cradled my daughter in my arms as best I could. Gia didn’t stir. Her eyelids didn’t flutter. She didn’t respond to my touch. My voice. Nothing.
I was alone.
“You are my sunshine.” My voice broke as I sang. Somehow, I made it through the whole song as I stroked her hair. My tears fell on her pale, soft skin.
Eventually, I fell asleep cuddled next to my baby girl. My dreams were full of blood, crunching metal, and screams. I awoke with a start, covered in a cold sweat. I untangled my way out of Gia’s bed
, and paused to brush her hair off her face. Hot tears welled in my eyes and threatened to spill over. I turned away, made my way down the darkened, quiet corridor, and out of the heavy doors of the hospital.
I was so empty and hollow and alone.
I couldn’t do this anymore.
THE END
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COMING SOON
Roxie’s Story
ANOTHER BOOK AND even more people who’ve been amazing on this journey. There are so many people I don’t know what I’d do without!
To my husband: Thank you so much for everything. For picking up the slack around the house, for not getting mad at me being distracted, for taking care of kids, and for being so amazing. I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you. I’d truly be lost. I love you.
To my daughters: You girls are the best daughters anyone could ever hope for. Thank you for being so understanding and patient and amazing. I love you both so very much.
To Brenda Letendre: The most amazing editor. Seriously. Your help, input, and time mean the world to me. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me. You rock!
To Sarah Hansen at Okay Creations: You did it again. Thank you for another cover. You are seriously brilliant!
To Christine at Perfectly Publishable: Thank you. You are so sweet, kind, and helpful. Thank you for answering my million questions and being so awesome all the time. I can’t imagine working with anyone else!
To Mitzi Carroll: Thank you so much for your proofreading expertise. You are so sweet. Thank you SO much!
To Daniela at DCP Designs: Thank you for the amazing teasers and graphics. You are incredibly sweet, professional, and talented!
To the lovely women at Between The Sheets Promotions: Girls, you rock. You are so knowledgeable, courteous, and amazing. I’m so glad I got the chance to work with you!
To Roxie Madar: Thank you. There are not words to describe how much you mean to me. Not just as the most amazing beta ever, but as an amazing friend. You are always there for me and I can’t imagine you not being around. I love you so much! Thank you for inspiring the kick ass character of Roxie!!
To J.A. DeRouen: Girl, you are the best. I’m so glad we’ve been on this crazy journey together. Thank you for your input. Thank you for listening to me and bouncing ideas around with me and being so freaking amazing. I love that we get to go through this together. Ready for another round? I’m glad to call you my author wifey! Love you, Glitters!
To Argie Sokoli: I know I say this all the time, but you are very one very kick ass lady. Thank you for reading and helping and being so truly awesome. I’m so glad I’ve gotten to know you!
To Stephanie Rose: Thank you so much for everything. You’re an amazing listener and friend. I’m so glad we found each other! Keep your chin up, misery sister. #MS4Lyfe
To all the amazing members in my book group: You ladies keep me in line. I love your enthusiasm. I seriously love interacting with you and it means SO MUCH to me that you care about me and my books. Thank you so much!
To the wonderful ladies in the Indie Chicks Rock group. Thank you so much for all of your support, information, and awesomeness! Thank you inviting me into your group!
To the bloggers who I’ve met along the way: Thank you. Seriously, thank you. So frequently, you’ve made my day. I love the messages, the emails, the posts. Thank you for recommending my book and for taking the chance on me. You all mean so much to me.
Last but totally not least, the readers. You are the most amazing people. Thank you. I love getting your messages, your posts, and your enthusiasm. I love hearing from you. I hope you enjoyed reading Roxie and David’s story as much as I loved writing them. Thank you for picking up my book, especially since there are so many other books you could have read. It means the world to me! Thank you so much!
FROM THE TIME she was old enough to form words into sentences, Kristy Love has been writing stories. She attended La Roche College and graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in Professional Writing. When she’s not writing, Kristy can be found with her nose stuck in a book or spending time with her family and friends.
She lives with her husband and two girls in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
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