by Helen Warner
‘What, not even a tiny bit?’
There was a pause, during which Sophie could hear Melissa taking a long drag on her cigarette and exhaling. She pictured her sitting in her hotel room, surrounded by God knows what kind of detritus. Strangely, the motherly instinct that had taken so long to kick in with Emma was a constant whenever she thought about Melissa. She worried about her far more than she should. ‘Well, maybe I envy the house and the money. Not the marriage, though.’
Sophie had wondered what she meant at the time but couldn’t bring herself to ask. She had enough to think about without getting into discussions about the state of other people’s relationships. She and Steve were gradually getting back on an even keel and she needed to focus on him. She owed him that. He had been so patient. So giving. Now it was her turn to give back. He had come to hate his job in HR at a bank in the City and her plan was to make enough money for him to be able to give it all up and make a go of his writing.
After Big Brother, Sophie had moved into the development department of the TV company, where she discovered that she had a talent for coming up with new ideas and formats. One day, she took a phone call from a man called Mark Bailey, who had just started to come to prominence as a judge on a new wave of reality shows, some of which Sophie had developed. He was setting up his own production company and wanted Sophie to help him run it.
Despite his reputation for being demanding and expecting those who worked with him to forget any kind of a personal life, Sophie didn’t hesitate. She could sense that Mark Bailey was going places. She wanted to be riding whatever tidal wave she suspected he might create in the years to come and if things went well, it would set her and her little family up for ever. She definitely wanted a better life. Preferably one like Amy and Nick’s.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, the cars in front of her began to move and in the distance Sophie could see the blue flashing lights that signified the cause of the hold-up. As she snaked past the scene of the accident, she tried to resist the urge to look but it was impossible. A black Mini had crashed into the central reservation and its driver was standing beside it, talking to a police officer. Sophie frowned as a thought occurred to her and instinctively she braked, trying to get a glimpse of the driver. Behind her, a car horn sounded, its driver incensed at the prospect of any further delay to their journey and Sophie accelerated past.
An hour later, she drove down a sandy track leading to the house, her breath catching in her chest as the sea came into view, spread out like a carpet of glinting aquamarine jewels in front of her. Having grown up living beside the sea in Northern Ireland, the sight of it always had a profound effect on her, making her think of freedom. Of escape.
She parked the car and switched off the engine, still unable to tear her eyes away from the breathtaking scene in front of her. She climbed out and stretched, inhaling the salty tang as deeply as possible before striding across the pale powdery sand towards the shore. The beach was deserted, apart from someone sitting at the water’s edge, their back to Sophie.
As she drew closer, she could make out the dark hair billowing in the breeze and recognized the narrow shoulders. ‘Hey, Emily!’ she called gently, not wanting to alarm her.
There was a slight pause before Emily turned and waved. Sophie could sense that Emily had quickly rearranged her features, and she slowed her pace to give her time to recover from whatever mood she had been in.
She leaned down to kiss the top of Emily’s head, before sitting next to her, mirroring her position of hugging her knees to her chest.
‘Amazing house, Sophie. You’ve surpassed yourself this time!’ There was a dampness around Emily’s eyes but she was smiling as she spoke.
Sophie turned to look back at it. She had been so busy admiring the sea that she hadn’t even noticed the house itself. It was truly stunning, built of glass and steel, taking full advantage of its spectacular setting right on the shore front with huge plate-glass windows covering almost every wall. ‘Wow. It’s even better than I expected. Shall we go and explore?’
‘Sure.’ Emily elegantly stood up, showing off her toned physique, while Sophie scrambled clumsily to her feet. She always felt so big around the other girls. Ungainly. Why couldn’t at least one of them be as large as her? As they reached the house, Sophie rummaged in her bag for the keys and opened the enormous front door. Inside, the house was dazzlingly light and airy, with simple white walls and spectacular views from every window, all of which seemed to have been cleverly designed to capture the sea view.
‘This is fabulous!’ Emily’s voice echoed in the huge space and ricocheted off the walls, making them both laugh and triggering more echoes.
‘How are the others getting here?’ Emily opened the giant American-style fridge and picked out the complimentary bottle of Prosecco that had been left inside.
‘Both driving, I think.’ An image of a smashed-up black Mini flashed into Sophie’s mind. ‘By the way, did you come down the A21?’
‘Hmmm? I did, yes.’ Emily poured two glasses and gave one to Sophie. She chinked her glass against Sophie’s and took a long sip. ‘Why?’
Sophie shook her head. ‘Nothing. I hope.’
‘Well, I guess I’ll be off then.’ Amy watched Nick’s stiff, broad back, as he stared out of the window.
There was a long pause. ‘Yup.’
‘It’s only for two nights, Nick.’
Another pause. ‘So you keep saying.’
Amy frowned. Nick went away on business all the time. She couldn’t understand why he was being so offhand about her having a weekend with the girls. She’d always done it and she needed it more than ever this year. She was desperate to get some time to herself and it was the first time she had left Megan overnight in the six months since she had been born. It wasn’t even as if Nick had to look after her. Amy had arranged for their nanny, Suki, to move in for the weekend and he wouldn’t have to do a thing if he didn’t want to.
She picked up her bag. If she wavered any longer she would end up cancelling and she needed to see her friends. Well, she needed to see Sophie and Emily, anyway. She already saw plenty of Melissa, as she was always crashing in their basement flat.
She walked over to Nick and put her hand on his arm. ‘I love you,’ she said, looking up at him hopefully.
But Nick’s face was set like stone and he refused to look back at her. ‘Just go, Amy.’
Amy swallowed hard. He was being so cold. He was acting as if she was leaving for good, instead of a quick weekend catching up with her friends. For a second, she considered not going, before a little spark of long-forgotten defiance sprang up inside her. She wasn’t doing anything wrong.
She turned slowly away and began to walk towards the front door, her legs seemingly moving on autopilot.
‘Have a nice time without us!’ he shouted suddenly and she turned to see him glaring at her with a look of white-hot anger in his dark eyes.
Amy hesitated again. She hated it when he got like this and she already knew that he would sulk for days after she got back. Was it really worth the grief? For a moment she wasn’t sure. But again, that spark of defiance flared within her and she opened the front door. ‘I will,’ she said, before stepping out into the sunshine.
It was getting late and they were all hungry. ‘Where the hell is she?’ said Emily, staring out at the sea from the huge plate-glass window in the sitting room. The sky had taken on a pink hue, signalling that the sun was beginning to set.
Amy looked at her watch and tutted. ‘If we don’t eat soon, the salmon will be ruined.’
Sophie looked again at her phone, willing it to burst into life with a call from Melissa. A strange sense of uneasiness had settled around her, as the image of a smashed-up black Mini refused to budge from her brain. Was it Melissa? She wasn’t sure what car she owned at the moment. The last few times she had seen her, she had travelled by train. ‘Let’s give it another ten minutes and if she’s still not here, we’ll eat.’
She had called Melissa’s number repeatedly over the past couple of hours but each time it went straight to voicemail. Sophie’s messages, at first irritated and frustrated by her lateness, had switched to pleading for her to get in touch. But still she heard nothing.
Suddenly, her phone burst into life, causing all of them to start as the loud, jangling sound reverberated off the double-height walls.
Sophie didn’t recognize the number but snatched it up regardless. ‘Hello?’
There was a muffled sound, like someone blowing their nose. ‘Soph? It’s me.’
‘Melissa!’ Relief made Sophie’s insides swim. Amy and Emily turned as one. To an onlooker it would have seemed as though they were playing a game of musical statues, as they all froze simultaneously. ‘Where the hell are you?’
‘At the police station.’ She blew her nose again.
Shock rendered Sophie speechless for several seconds as her brain tried to compute the information. ‘Police station?’ Two sets of eyes widened in front of her as she spoke.
‘Can you come and pick me up, Soph? I need to get out of here…’ Her voice was swallowed up by a sob.
‘Oh no! I can’t… I’ve had too much to drink…’ Sophie’s eyes scanned the faces of the other two as she tried to think what to do. She hadn’t been keeping count, but surely everyone had had too much to drive?
‘I’ll go.’ Emily was already shrugging on her denim jacket and scooping up her car keys from the stainless-steel table where she had dropped them earlier. ‘Tell me where she is.’
‘Oh! Em’s coming to get you.’ Of course, Emily hardly ever drank too much. She had had a couple of sips of her Prosecco before switching to water.
‘Can you come with her?’ There was a pleading tone to Melissa’s voice.
Sophie hesitated. She knew exactly why Melissa didn’t want to be alone with Emily. She was terrified of her disapproval. At least with Sophie, she could feel that they were on even terms. Whatever Melissa did, however bad, she knew Sophie’s guilty little secrets too, which made Sophie less likely to judge her as harshly as Emily. ‘OK, give me the details and we’ll be there as soon as we can.’
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
‘Well, at least you weren’t hurt. Or worse, you didn’t hurt anyone else.’
Melissa took a long swig of her Prosecco and nodded mutely. The dark circles around her brown eyes had deepened and her skin was blotchy and spotty. Her signature braided hair was lank and dishevelled. On the CD player, a U2 album played gently in the background, reverberating softly off the walls.
‘Are you sure you don’t want any food?’ Amy came in from the kitchen and put her hands on her hips, while giving Melissa a look that Sophie couldn’t read.
‘No. Thank you.’ Melissa drained her glass and picked up the bottle from the small occasional table beside her to refill it. A couple of foamy drips oozed out and Melissa frowned in confusion, as if she was puzzled that it was empty.
‘There’s none left, Liss. You finished it off!’ Emily tried to laugh but it stuck in her throat and became an embarrassed cough.
Around the room, they all exchanged glances. Sophie and Emily had collected Melissa from the police station in Rye, where she had been cautioned for driving without due care and attention. Sophie was hugely relieved to hear that she hadn’t been charged with anything worse, such as drug possession. Melissa, on the other hand, seemed irritated and unconcerned.
As Melissa had rightly predicted, Emily gave her a stern talking-to in the car back to the house. ‘What if you’d killed someone?’ She looked in the rear-view mirror at Melissa, who was draped casually over the back seat of Emily’s Renault.
‘I didn’t, though, did I?’ Melissa shot back. ‘Anyway, I hadn’t taken any drugs so that wasn’t why I crashed the car. I just got distracted for a minute.’
Emily pursed her lips. ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell it to the judge. Listen, you might have got away with it this time but you won’t be so lucky next time. And someone might get hurt. You need to grow up and take some responsibility for yourself, Melissa!’
A thick, sulky silence was the response from Melissa for the next few minutes, until she seemed to forget the conversation entirely and began to chatter inanely about the brilliant new album by Jay-Z, which had just been released.
Emily had tutted in disgust, while Sophie desperately tried to calm her own urge to throw Melissa out of the car. She seemed so unaware of how irresponsible and dangerous her behaviour was. Sophie had always made excuses for her, citing her age, her single status, her lack of family support but actually, now that they were all nudging thirty, the excuses were becoming thinner and thinner, much like Melissa herself.
As they arrived back at the house, Amy greeted her nervously, as if she didn’t know what to say or how many questions to ask. But Melissa seemed not to notice and immediately threw herself onto one of the sofas, declaring that she was ‘desperate for a drink’.
Having drained a bottle of Prosecco single-handedly, Melissa now looked as though she was ready to drop off to sleep.
‘Why don’t you go to bed, Liss? You must be shattered after such a stressful day.’ Emily’s voice was measured and patient.
‘Yes, Melissa, that’s a good idea. Let’s just forget today ever happened and start afresh in the morning.’ Sophie tried to emulate Emily’s patient tone but it was so at odds with how she felt that she failed. She suspected that even Melissa would detect the annoyance behind her words.
She needn’t have worried. Melissa gazed at Emily, as if she was trying to focus, or possibly even remember who she was. Then she frowned slightly, her smooth forehead crumpling momentarily, before nodding.
Emily crossed to the sofa and helped Melissa to her feet, as if she was assisting an elderly patient. Then the two of them shuffled out of the room together, looking like participants in the world’s slowest ever three-legged race.
The moment they’d gone, Amy emerged from the kitchen and brought her mug of camomile tea to the large table in the middle of the room. ‘Thank God for that!’ Sophie followed suit and pulled up a chair.
‘Emily’s being so patient with her!’ Amy took a sip of her tea and shook her head incredulously. ‘I don’t know why – she doesn’t deserve it.’
Sophie looked at Amy in surprise. Amy had never expressed irritation with Melissa before. It just wasn’t her style to bitch. Melissa often used Amy and Nick’s basement as a crash pad and she suddenly wondered if Amy was getting fed up with her unwanted guest.
‘If it was just the drinking and the drugs, that would be bad enough. But it’s the… other stuff,’ Amy continued.
Sophie frowned. ‘Other stuff?’
Amy’s pale skin flushed slightly. ‘Yes. Like the penchant for married men and the sleeping around. I think she needs a bit of tough love. We’ve tried being understanding and helping her out of the sticky situations she seems to keep finding herself in. Maybe now’s the time to tell her that until she gets a grip and takes responsibility for her actions, we don’t want to see her.’
Sophie inhaled sharply. ‘I’m not sure I could bring myself to do that…’
‘I could.’ There was a new steeliness to Amy’s voice that alarmed Sophie. Had Melissa made a move on Nick? Surely even she would draw the line at seducing a friend’s husband, especially so soon after the birth of their first child? But even as she told herself that no one could be that callous, she somehow knew that was what had happened. Was she too soft on Melissa? Was tough love the answer? She just didn’t know.
The next morning dawned clear and bright, the sun already comfortably warm by 8 a.m. Sophie quietly opened the French door and walked out onto the balcony of the bedroom she was sharing with Melissa, who slept on, oblivious to the ructions she had caused.
The wide, white sandy beach stretched out in front of her, the sea twinkling azure under a matching sky, and her breath caught momentarily. She loved the sea so much. Whenever she stood in front of an ocean, she
would fantasize about taking a boat, sailing into the horizon and disappearing.
They had stayed up late last night, talking over what to do about Melissa. Sophie was worried about the idea of telling Melissa that she wasn’t welcome until she pulled herself together. ‘But don’t you think she needs our help?’ She had looked from one to the other, trying to find some agreement, but Sophie could see that Amy and Emily had made up their minds and she too had eventually come to the conclusion that there was no alternative.
She loved Melissa. She just didn’t love what she was doing with her life at the moment. And even though Amy hadn’t confirmed anything, she felt sure that something dubious had gone on with Nick. That was a line too far for Sophie. The only way to give Melissa the shake-up she needed was for them all to distance themselves from her. They had always been there for her and it would shock her to her core if they suddenly weren’t.
Her family background meant that, despite appearances, Melissa was vulnerable and needy. There was a horrible possibility that losing her friends would tip her over the edge into something even worse. But to carry on supporting her while she behaved so badly was unthinkable. Sophie took a deep breath and prepared herself, before letting herself back into the bedroom.
Melissa slept soundly, looking peaceful and more beautiful than she had any right to do. Her braids fell around her smooth, brown shoulders, giving the rather fitting impression of a black halo around her. The irony wasn’t lost on Sophie as she slipped out of the room and down the sweeping steel staircase.
She found Amy in the kitchen, emptying the dishwasher. Her long auburn mane of hair was scrunched into a messy bun on top of her head. She wore a matching pale blue silk camisole and shorts, showing off her long, long legs and toned arms. Her pale skin was flawless, except for a smattering of freckles across her pert little nose. She didn’t look like a woman who had recently had a baby. She looked up as Sophie came into the room and smiled. ‘Morning! Mums up first again.’