The Story of Our Lives

by Helen Warner

  Emily stiffened. He wouldn’t know about Jack. She thought about her Friends Reunited profile and whether she had ever mentioned him. She didn’t think so. Her heart began to race and she rolled away from him. He looked at her in surprise. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘Nothing – just going to get us a drink.’ She left the bedroom and closed the door, her eyes immediately drawn towards Jack’s room. Luckily the door was shut. She headed for the kitchen and glanced around, looking for clues that might give away his existence. She gathered several pictures and clippings held by magnets to the front of the fridge and shoved them into a drawer.

  She did the same in the sitting room, guilt causing her stomach to clench as she hurriedly stashed the many photos that depicted his journey from toddler to pre-teen into the chest that served as a coffee table.

  Then she grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge and two glasses, before returning to Anton in the bedroom. ‘I don’t think we’ve had quite enough yet…’ she said with what she hoped was a seductive smile.

  Anton, who was sitting up naked, reached for her and pulled her on top of him, putting the bottle and glasses onto the floor with one deft movement. ‘I agree. And I’m not talking about the wine.’

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Amy glanced at the clock. It was nearly 6.30 and Nick would be home in half an hour. She scooped George up out of his high chair, where he was busily demolishing a bread roll and throwing the crumbs onto the floor. He squirmed in her arms and reached back towards the chair, wanting to finish his snack. ‘No, sweetheart,’ Amy chided, whisking him out of the kitchen. ‘You need to get in the bath. Come on, I’ll race you. You too, Meggie.’

  She raced towards the stairs and made George giggle as she climbed them on all fours, pretending to be a dog. Megan was less easily amused, following at a more sedate pace and looking at Amy suspiciously. Amy ran the bath and dunked both children into it for a perfunctory wash, before chivvying them into their bedrooms and into their pyjamas.

  Back downstairs, she kept looking nervously towards the clock as she found a dustpan and brush and cleared up the debris from the children’s tea, wiped the table and stacked the dishwasher. She didn’t miss Suki one bit but she certainly missed what she did around the house. Looking after two children on your own was hard work.

  As the hands of the clock snaked inexorably towards 6.30, she dashed into the downstairs bathroom to run her hands through her hair, slick on some lipgloss and spritz herself with Nick’s favourite Hermès perfume. By the time he walked through the door ten minutes later, Amy was posed serenely on the sofa, with a child under each arm, reading The Gruffalo.

  He put down his briefcase and beamed at them. ‘Well, isn’t that a welcome sight for sore eyes,’ he said, kissing Amy and the children one by one.

  Amy quietly exhaled and allowed her shoulders to relax, only now realizing how tense she’d been for the past few hours. He seemed in a really good mood. She could never be sure until he walked through the door. It varied so much. ‘Good day?’ she asked, getting up and going to fix him a gin and tonic.

  Nick loosened his tie and took her place between the children on the sofa. ‘Good now work’s over,’ he said, as George scrambled onto his lap and immediately demanded he play ‘horsey’. Nick happily obliged and within seconds George was screaming with laughter. Amy watched Megan, who had inched very slightly away from Nick. She was a carbon copy of Amy in miniature form and shared her mother’s nervousness around him. Nick had never mentioned it but Amy wondered how much he noticed.

  He certainly made no secret of favouring George. His son was too young to remember any of the really bad moments, so he took Nick at face value and idolized him, whereas Megan was serious and tense in his presence. Forgetting what had gone on clearly wasn’t an option for her and it made Amy feel physically sick with guilt.

  They had been back almost six months now and she had to remind herself every day that she had done the right thing. Nick had wooed her with a passion that had swept her off her feet when they first came home and she had found herself falling in love with him all over again. It was exciting, magical, thrilling. It was just like it had been in the very beginning.

  She had understood when he said he didn’t want her seeing ‘the girls’ any more. He said they would poison her against him, just like they did before. Amy acknowledged that this was true. They hated Nick. There was every chance they would use any opportunity to persuade her not to stay with him. So her visit to see Sophie and Steve when baby Theo was born had to be the last. Nick was very firm – they didn’t stand a chance if she wouldn’t agree to that. So she did.

  She missed them though. All of them. And so did Megan. She often looked up at Amy with her big, imploring eyes and begged to know when she would see Emma again. Amy would smile reassuringly and lie that it would be soon. She hoped that after a while, she’d forget. Unfortunately, forgetting wasn’t something Megan did.

  ‘I said, what did you do all day?’ Nick was suddenly standing behind Amy, catching her unawares. She dropped the crystal glass full of freshly mixed gin and tonic she was holding and it shattered onto the hard tiled floor. The liquid splashed up Amy’s legs before settling in a puddle by her feet.

  There was a beat of silence before Nick leapt back in shock. ‘For fuck’s sake!’ he yelled, mopping himself down, although Amy was pretty sure none of it had reached him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Megan’s head turn towards them sharply.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said, trying to muster a reassuring smile. ‘You go and sit down. I’ll clear it up and bring you another one.’

  Temper blazed in Nick’s eyes but he reluctantly returned to the sofa, shaking his head and tutting. ‘Horsey!’ George cried, leaping onto Nick’s lap the minute he sat down.

  Nick shoved him off roughly. ‘No! For God’s sake, all I want after a busy day is a bit of peace and quiet. Instead I have to come home to a bloody pigsty!’ He stood up and stomped out of the kitchen, leaving Amy and the children gaping after him. George started to cry, his face crumpling in confusion. Megan stayed silent and chewed at her thumbnail.

  Amy put down the dustpan and brush she was using to clear up the broken glass. She sat on the sofa and pulled George into a cuddle. ‘Shh, now, darling. Daddy’s just very tired. Now, how about we all go up to bed and I can read you the rest of The Gruffalo?’ George sniffed sulkily but nodded.

  ‘Meggie?’ Amy ruffled Megan’s hair and looked at her questioningly. Megan pursed her lips. ‘Is Daddy getting angry again? I don’t like it when he gets angry. It scares me.’

  Amy’s stomach dropped. ‘No! Don’t be daft. He’s just very tired because he’s so busy at work. He’ll be happy again in the morning.’

  Megan frowned. ‘I hope so.’

  Later, when the children were in bed and Amy was cooking dinner – a dinner she had no idea whether Nick would eat – he reappeared in the kitchen. Amy felt his presence before she saw him. It was as if he carried a black storm cloud into the room with him. She glanced at him and recoiled at the look in his eyes. It was a look she’d seen too many times before and she knew exactly what would happen next.

  He sat at the table and stared at her through the thick silence. Amy’s throat dried as she finished simmering the Thai green curry and served it onto two plates. She placed one of the plates in front of him. He looked at it in disgust. ‘What the fuck is this?’

  Amy shook her head and sighed. ‘Nick, please… don’t start with this again…’

  The movement was so quick that she didn’t have time to react and in a split second, he had pinned her against the wall, his hand around her neck. His eyes were blazing with a manic rage as he pushed his face forward until it was just millimetres from hers, their noses almost touching. ‘Don’t… WHAT?’ he snarled.

  All at once, the terror and tension seeped out of Amy’s body and she sagged forward so that his hand pressed harder into her windpipe. She didn’t care if he killed her. She just wanted it
to be over. Nick’s eyes flickered with panic and he pulled his hand away as if he’d been electrocuted, causing Amy to crumple into a heap on the floor at his feet.

  For a moment, Amy didn’t move. She wondered vaguely if she was dead. The thought didn’t scare her. She found it strangely soothing. Then Nick’s feet shifted and she realized with a slight sense of disappointment that she was still alive. ‘What did you do that for?’ Nick’s voice was genuinely perplexed, all his rage now replaced by genuine concern.

  Amy swallowed. Her throat felt raw and she knew that the old, familiar bruises would already be reappearing on her neck, as if her skin had a memory. As if they had been lying dormant all this time, just waiting for their moment to reappear. She didn’t want to get up. She wanted to carry on lying where she was.

  Nick crouched down and stroked her hair tenderly. ‘Amy? Sweetheart, are you OK?’

  Amy smiled to herself. It was almost impressive, the way he was able to detach himself. As if her lying on the floor with strangulation marks across her throat had absolutely nothing to do with him. It was as though he had stumbled in and found her there.

  ‘Amy?’ He took her hand in his and pressed it to his lips. ‘Come on, darling, say something.’

  But Amy couldn’t speak. There were no words. She had put herself in this situation and it was all her fault. She had come back to him, always knowing subconsciously that they would end up here again. And only now it dawned on her that she had wanted it all along. What kind of a woman was she, that she wanted her husband to kill her? That she was disappointed that he had failed? What kind of mother would do this to her children? The very worst kind, which is exactly what she was. She was worthless.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  ‘Have you still not heard from her?’ Steve looked up from the rocking chair where he was feeding Theo, who was guzzling greedily from his bottle, making a satisfied smacking sound with each mouthful.

  Sophie spun around from the wardrobe where she was putting away a tiny mountain of white Babygros. ‘Amy? No.’

  ‘Aren’t you worried?’

  Sophie bristled at Steve’s tone of voice. ‘Yes, Steve, of course I’m bloody worried! But what do I do? We effectively kidnapped her once before and look what happened… she’s made it really clear she doesn’t want to see us.’

  ‘I think we should pay them a visit.’

  Sophie closed the wardrobe door and sighed. ‘I do too but I’m scared that we might make things worse. What if they’re perfectly happy but he doesn’t want her to see us again because he knows we’ll try to turn her against him? Let’s face it, he’d be right, wouldn’t he?’

  Steve tutted. ‘I suppose so. I just can’t believe she’d be happy to cut us off after spending a whole year with us. I mean, how must Megan feel not seeing Emma?’

  His face softened as he spoke about Megan and Sophie felt her heart squeeze with love. She knew how much he missed Megan and George, even though he had his hands full with his own two. ‘I know. And we all miss them so much. They were such a part of the family. It feels like a bereavement. I would love to see Amy again.…’ She tailed off as she thought about how close she and Amy had become and how painful it felt to have lost her again so abruptly.

  ‘Well, like I say, I think we should just show up there.’

  Sophie bit her lip nervously. ‘OK. But I don’t think we should take the kids.’

  Steve nodded his agreement. ‘What about Emily and Melissa? Should we tell them?’

  Sophie considered it for a moment. Emily had got a mysterious new boyfriend and was so loved up she seemed to be in a world of her own lately, and Melissa was travelling so much to America with work that she wouldn’t be able to offer much in the way of assistance. ‘No, let’s just do it ourselves. It’ll look a bit more believable if we pay a friendly visit as a couple than if the whole lot of us turn up mob-handed. That way, if there’s no problem and they’re all perfectly happy, we can just have a coffee and leave.’

  ‘I’m not sure I can promise to be civil to him.’ Steve smiled ruefully. ‘He did crack my ribs the last time I saw him.’

  Sophie laughed. ‘Well, I’m not exactly his biggest fan either but let’s give him the benefit of the doubt.’

  Theo, who was lying over Steve’s shoulder, having his back rubbed, let out a gigantic burp. Steve grinned at him proudly. ‘OK, that nails it. It seems my son shares my opinion of the lovely Nick. Let’s go tomorrow, shall we?’

  The following evening, having asked Steve’s mum to babysit, they set off for Notting Hill. As they drew up outside the house, Steve whistled through his teeth. ‘Maybe I’m beginning to understand why Amy didn’t want to leave him after all.’

  Sophie looked up at the beautiful, white stucco mansion. ‘I hate it. It gives me the creeps. But maybe it’s because I know what’s gone on here.’

  They parked the car and walked up the front steps. ‘I’m really nervous.’

  Steve took her hand and gave it a squeeze. ‘Me too. It’ll be fine. It’s the right thing to do. Hopefully, we’ll find that all is well and we can go home again feeling reassured.’

  Sophie rang the bell. After a few moments, they heard footsteps echoing down the hallway. Sophie’s heart started to race and she immediately regretted coming. She was just looking back down the steps, wondering if it was too late to make a bolt for it, when the heavy, black door swung open.

  Nick frowned slightly, as if trying to place who they were before recognition dawned. ‘Oh. It’s you.’

  ‘Hi, Nick!’ Sophie’s voice sounded much brighter than she felt and it slightly startled her. ‘We were in the area and we thought we’d pop in for a coffee.’

  Nick closed the door just a fraction, but enough to make a point. ‘Right. Only we’re a bit busy at the moment.’

  ‘That’s OK,’ Steve said affably, taking a step closer to the door. ‘We won’t keep you long.’

  Nick shook his head. ‘Sorry, but it’s really not convenient. Maybe another—’

  His words were interrupted by a loud squeal from the hallway. ‘Steve! Sophie! You came!’ Megan slipped around Nick’s legs and dived into Steve’s arms, taking him unawares and almost causing him to lose his balance.

  ‘Hey, Meggie! Wow, you have grown soooo much!’ Steve lifted her up so he could get a better look at her, causing her to giggle in delight.

  Sophie watched Nick, as his face folded in fury. ‘Megan!’ he snapped. ‘Get inside now!’

  Megan’s mouth dropped open in shock. ‘But it’s Sophie and Steve. Mummy always said we’d see them soon.’

  ‘Well, you’ve seen them now, please go back inside.’

  Sophie’s skin prickled at the sinister tone of Nick’s voice. Like a gently bubbling volcano about to erupt. ‘Is Amy in?’ she said, as loudly as she could, hoping that Amy would hear her and come to the door.

  ‘As I said…’ Nick reached out and pulled Megan roughly from Steve’s arms. ‘She’s busy. Please leave.’

  Steve shrugged. ‘No, I really don’t think so, Nick. We’ve come to have a coffee with Amy and that’s what we’re going to do.’

  Nick turned away and attempted to kick the door shut but Steve put his foot in the gap. ‘Move your foot now or I’ll call the police.’ Nick fixed Steve with a look of pure hatred.

  ‘Oh, I don’t think we want the police involved, do we, Nick? We might mention a few things to them ourselves and you might find yourself being marched off in handcuffs.’

  Sophie swallowed hard and her eyes kept being drawn to Megan’s bewildered little face. She was scared for herself and Steve but she was more scared for Amy and the kids. Nick would make her pay for this. ‘Maybe we should go, Steve?’

  Steve looked at her in surprise. ‘What? No, I think we shouldn’t go anywhere until we’ve seen Amy. I want to know that she’s OK.’

  Nick shook his head. ‘I think you should take Sophie’s advice and leave.’

  ‘I will.’ Steve matched Nick’s steely tone. ‘Whe
n I’ve seen Amy.’

  Nick hesitated for a moment, then tutted loudly. ‘Oh, for fuck’s sake… Amy!’ he yelled over his shoulder. Sophie squirmed on Megan’s behalf at her dad’s bad language but she was obviously used to it and didn’t flinch.

  After a few moments, Amy appeared, moving falteringly down the hallway. Sophie’s hand flew to her mouth. Amy looked as if she had aged at least ten years since she had last seen her. Her eyes looked haunted and she walked with a stooped, shuffling gait. ‘Amy…’ she began, her voice breaking as the tears gathered. ‘What’s happened to you?’

  Amy managed a wan smile. ‘I’ve just had the flu and it’s taking a long time to shift it.’

  Sophie so desperately wanted to believe her. She didn’t want to think that she had let her friend walk back into a death trap and had then been so wrapped up in her own life that she had barely given her a second thought over the months that had passed since. She looked at Steve for some kind of reassurance but she could see that his face was a mask of confusion.

  ‘Right, you’ve seen her – now you can leave.’ Nick used his own foot to kick Steve’s out of the way and slammed the door hard in his face.

  Sophie gasped. ‘Shit. What do we do now? Do we leave?’

  Steve was biting the inside of his cheek as he stared fiercely at the black painted door, as if somehow he would be able to see right through it if he stared hard enough. ‘No,’ he said at last. ‘We’re not leaving.’

  Sophie followed as he walked down the steps and looked into the passageway that led to the back garden. There was a tall wooden gate blocking the path. Steve tried the latch and shrugged when it was locked. Taking a few paces back, he ran at it and gripped the top, before propelling himself athletically up and over it. Sophie gasped with a mixture of admiration and fear. ‘Steve!’ she hissed. ‘Don’t do anything stupid!’

  She heard the sound of the lock being undone and the gate opened. Steve grinned. ‘Not bad for an old man, was it?’