As the door slammed shut behind Benji’s retreating form, Zane sank down to sit on the floor, his heart sluggish and aching like someone had just taken a pickaxe to it and hacked it into a thousand tiny pieces.
He’d ruined everything…
Chapter Fourteen
Grumbling to herself and sweating up a storm, Charlie struggled to stay where she was instead of where she wanted to be—with the boys. With Zane. Instead, she had just finished sending the PD on their way and was jogging down the center aisle of the auditorium in hopes of finding Conner. She wanted clearance to head home. Funny how quickly she had adjusted to the idea of Zane being home. Shrugging aside the thought, her mind latched back onto what had happened that night.
Jeremy had been a good man. She hadn’t known him personally, but it was obvious he would be mourned and the shocked solemnity of those around her was just another sign of how serious things had turned. Whatever had been going on before meant nothing now. With someone dead, the police involved, and her own worries drawing to a boil, Charlie was ready to get down to business.
She was going to do everything in her power to make sure no more blood was spilled.
Although she was feeling freshly determined and grateful when Conner quickly and effortlessly cleared her to go home and get some sleep, she didn’t realize who the dark-haired figure headed towards her was, beyond the fact that he was moving much the way a bull would charge a flying red flag.
Benji. Her insides gave a quiver of fear. Was everything okay?
Charlie chastised herself for seeing danger where it obviously wasn’t, then turned around and jogged to meet him halfway. She hoped it was damned important because with the urgency in his step and the lack of anyone in particular following behind him, she had the feeling that security had no idea where he was. They probably still thought him safe and sound inside the citadel of Zane’s trailer. If this wasn’t a life or death sort of moment, she was going to have to give him a lecture.
The wolf stopped in front of her, looking incredibly young and incredibly angry. Charlie couldn’t help but cross her arms over herself for comfort at the waves of fury rippling off of him. Benji mad was an almost bizarre sight to see compared to his usual happy, quiet demeanor.
“Are you okay? You really shouldn’t be out here right now and—”
“It’s all a load of crap. They played you. I swear I didn’t have anything to do with this, Charlie. I’d never do anything like that.”
“Whoa, whoa. What are you talking about?”
“All the danger? It’s made up.”
“So you’re saying Jeremy’s not dead?”
“No. Damn it! Are you being deliberately obtuse?”
“No, are you being deliberately batshit crazy?”
Benji shifted his weight. “Look. Can we go talk somewhere? I’m not explaining this very well and I want to—no, I need to make sure you have all the facts straight before you cut and run.”
Confusion seemed to be an almost tangible object, and if it were real and solid, Charlie would’ve been holding it in that moment. What the hell was going on? Had he gotten a look at the body? Was he in shock, trying to deny what was really going on?
“Sure, just calm down. Do you have someone in particular that you want to go?”
His reply was immediate: “Forest.”
She hesitated, thinking of the gunman unidentified and probably still hanging around, just waiting to pick them off one by one, and she opened her mouth to argue.
“Please, I want to go to the forest. If it’s the last place that I’ll get to see you, it should be somewhere that I’ll have memories of.” He looked so sad.
“I have no clue where the dramatics are coming from, but I’m confused and really wish you’d just take a deep breath or chill or something. You’re starting to freak me out. It’s already been a rough day.” The knot in her stomach only wound tighter.
“I’m not going to make it any better, I promise you that.”
The pair moved fast and, after a quick call to Conner to let him know, cryptically, what was going on and where she was headed, they continued on their way. Neither of them said a word and the silence that spawned between them was like an elastic cord, stretched to the point of snapping in two and causing pain to whoever held either side.
Upon reaching the edge of the woods, Charlie plopped down on a nearby log and gazed up at Benji, expectant. “You were saying something about everything being fake, but you’re going to have to be a little more specific.”
“Zane played you.”
Her heart began to beat a bit faster. “Explain what you mean and be specific.”
“I swear I didn’t know. I swear.”
“Get on with it.” Her tone was abrupt and lacking in emotion. This had better be a damned good explanation. Zane wouldn’t…
“After the show, when we got to the trailer, Zane blew up on Micah and Parker, accused them of trying to shoot a gun between the two of you or some stupid shit. I’m still confused, but the explosion, the graffiti, the mugging—they were all a load of crap. That’s why none of them seemed worried about it, because they knew nobody was really out to get them. Zane just wanted to make sure that you didn’t leave, so he gave you a reason to stay, a reason to stay right next to him. I’m sorry, Char. I’m so fucking sorry.”
Her chest grew so tight that breathing hurt and her face burned, with anger, with shock, with shame. All along, Zane had known that nothing was really going to hurt him. Had he been laughing at her the entire time? Every time she had voiced a concern, he’d soothed it away with a smile or distracted her with his love. No wonder he’d seemed insatiable—it had been the easiest way to keep her from paying attention to anything besides him. Had he even bothered to call security to take him from place to place all those times he’d left her alone in his bed?
The questions bounced around in her mind, multiplying at an alarming rate. She didn’t want to believe it. She wanted to laugh it off, wait for Benji to joke around and say “Just kidding!” but this was no laughing matter. Zane had used her, most certainly, but it wasn’t her pride that was breaking into a million pieces right now. Her heart felt as if it had been thrown around carelessly and she was going to have to pick it up and dust it off, alone.
Finally dragging her gaze up to Benji, unaware of the tears that shone in the corners of her eyes, Charlie gave an attempt at a smile as her mind reeled. She didn’t doubt that Benji had nothing to do with it, and because she believed him to be completely innocent, it was all too easy to push him from her mind and focus on the main problem, the main hurt.
“I don’t understand,” she said softly. “I really don’t. How on earth did Zane think that something that farfetched would work? Conner’s not stupid and even I was starting to have some major questions. Besides that, a bomb? Good lord, he could’ve killed people if whoever wired the stupid thing did it wrong.”
“I don’t have an explanation. I just knew that you needed to know.”
Charlie reached over and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “I appreciate it, but I… You’ll have to excuse me, Benji. I just want to run. I need to be alone right now.”
“Promise you’ll come back.”
Hesitating, her hand still in his, Charlie drew a deep breath in before blowing it out in a burst. “I promise, but I can’t promise that I won’t be coming back for more than just a goodbye.”
He frowned. “Just remember, someone out there really did kill Jeremy. I don’t think the guys did it, however stupid they might be acting. Zane was flipping out.”
“I need to be on my own to think, but I’ll be fine. I’m not in the band, remember?”
“Jeremy wasn’t in the band either.” But his tone told her he wasn’t going to stop her.
With his words reverberating through her mind, Charlie turned and headed into the woods. She needed to get away from everything, to just let loose and leave her beast in charge, to let her mind clear of today’s disaster, today
’s pain. Thoughts seemed to be bombarding her faster than she could dodge.
She thought back to the time that she had spent with Zane, all the laughing and loving, and it had been incredible. But if he was capable of this kind of deceit, just to get his way, what would he do in a serious relationship? If she hurt this much now…
Screw it. For now, she was going for a run.
***
For the longest while, Zane just sat on the floor, his legs cramping beneath him. He sat there and let everything sink in. Parker and Micah said nothing; they’d just retreated to the living room to play video games in silence.
On the outside he was subdued, but on the inside? His mind was screaming at the top of its lungs, screaming until there was no longer any air left. How could he have let things get so out of control? What was he supposed to do? Charlie probably hated him by now if Benji got his way and the idea of losing her rattled him, truly rattled him. He’d become dependent on her. He was fond of every little thing she did, right down to the way her fingers danced across his arm, the way her voice got a little husky around the edges when he kissed her throat.
He was in love with her, plain and simple, and now she was going to hate his guts. She was going to pack up and leave—and he couldn’t blame her. He hated himself in that moment.
The door swung open and Benji walked in. Zane tipped his head up to stare at the younger wolf, who looked exhausted and weary and ready to collapse, and Zane felt another burst of guilt. For a moment, their eyes locked and they just stared at each other. When eye contact was broken, it was Zane who dropped it.
“What am I supposed to even say?” His voice was hoarse, like he’d been screaming out loud instead of on the inside.
“Just don’t say anything, Zane. I did what my heart told me to do.” With that, he walked to the bathroom and shut himself up inside. A moment later, the lock clicked and Zane heard him crank the water on, listened to it patter down on the floor of the shower. Sitting there, his back against the wall, Zane recognized the tingling, crawling feeling in his stomach that of dreadful fear.
Charlie was still out there and, like it or not, someone had shot Jeremy Meyer. The fear was enough to kick him into gear. Throwing open the door, he shifted and picked up her scent. It was faint, but he followed it until it grew fresher, stronger, and he tracked it right into the woods. He had to tell her the full truth, not just the skewed version that Benji had pieced together. As he ran, he called to her mind, murmuring her name in his thoughts. Charlie. He knew she’d hear him, but she never responded, never answered back.
Panic rose. What if the gunman had already gotten her? What if he found her body, limp and bloodless, and he never had the chance to apologize? He reached out with mental feelers, grasping at air. Please, Charlie…
When he did find her, she was sitting on the ground at the base of a gnarled old oak tree, her knees pulled up to her chin and her head resting atop them. She was hugging herself into a ball and his heart dropped and bottomed out at the shattered look on her face. Benji’s words from earlier traipsed into his mind: I don’t want to see her hurt. I can’t stand the idea of picking up the pieces if you broke her heart.
And he had. He’d broken her heart. Feeling a tremble set into his bones, he slinked towards her, his head and tail low, ears drooping. She looked at him, her eyes pale and wounded like winter. For a moment they just stared at each other. Then her face seemed to crumple. “Why?”
Zane pressed his eyes closed at the sound. He took a sharp breath in, then willed his human form to resurface and, keeping his distance, he sat down across from her. He wanted to touch her, to kiss her, but that ship had sailed.
“Would you’ve ever given me the time of day if I hadn’t?”
“No…”
“I just needed a chance, Charlie. I needed you to see the real me, with real feelings and emotions and wants and needs, not just a pretty face on the cover of a High Velocity album. Not just the guy you worked for. When you talked about leaving, I knew in my gut that if you did, I’d never see you again. I was afraid that we’d never get the chance to explore what we needed to see. So I came up with a plan.”
Her laugh was soft, bitter. “Benji told me what you did.”
“He told you what he heard, but he didn’t tell you why. It’s true that I made up the stalker. I got the guys to help, even when they were reluctant. They didn’t want to. Micah planted the first bomb—he’s got experience with that sort of thing. Parker did the artwork on the trailer. We planned it carefully, so no one would actually be harmed. We just wanted to shake things up a little. When that didn’t seem serious enough to warrant a bodyguard, I decided maybe to stage a mugging. Except Parker actually got a few good hits in when I had my guard down. He said the blood would make it more realistic.” He shook his head. “And it worked. God, I know it’s stupid—it’s insane. I just wanted a chance with you, wanted you to see me in a new light.”
“I see you clearly, Alexander.”
“Then see how much this hurts.” He placed his hand over his heart, looked right at her. “I never meant to hurt you. I was getting ready to come clean, tell you everything, right before… Right before Jeremy. And in that moment, when the gun went off, I wasn’t worried about myself. I was terrified that I was going to lose you.”
“Then who killed Jeremy?”
“I don’t know. It wasn’t Micah or Parker because they’re both equally freaked out. Benji doesn’t understand that whoever took the shot is still out there; he probably believes that we did it, and I can’t say I blame him. But I’m sure that Jeremy was never the intended target.”
“You think that you were?”
“You saw it—the bullet missed me by sheer luck or poor aim, one or the other. Had I moved closer to you, I’d probably be dead right now.” The realization of it had his stomach knotting. He glanced to the side, paranoia creeping up on him. What if the killer was waiting for them out here?
He sucked in a breath and looked right at her. “It’s probably a smart move to go back to my trailer, but I don’t want to leave you out here alone. I fucked up, Char. I fucked up bad. And I know you probably won’t forgive me. But if there really is someone out to get me, I could really use your help.”
She was quiet for a moment, then, “Fine,” and his heart picked up. “But I call a cease-fire on the whole friends with benefits thing. As of now, you keep your hands to yourself and I’ll do the same. I think that it’s better this way.”
“We were never really friends before this,” Zane said with a wry, pained smile. “But I understand. I respect that, even if it kills me, but let me come clean. Maybe my plan was stupid, but I’d do it over and over again.” Her eyes narrowed, but he held up a hand to fend off anything she might say. “These last few weeks have been so real, Charlie. They’ve opened my eyes to something. I’m in love with you.”
Before she could say anything, a crack of a branch underfoot sounded in the woods behind them, making both of them jump. Nerves bounding inside of him, Zane got to his feet and offered a hand to her. Looking sad but resolute, she placed her hand inside of his and he pulled her to his feet. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from kissing her, the urge nearly strangling him.
Then he took both of her hands in his and looked into her eyes. “I mean it.” He paused, lost for words, then shook his head and released her. “Let’s go.” Knowing she’d follow, he headed back for base with a heavy heart.
Chapter Fifteen
What a mess.
Following silently behind Zane, Charlie kept her head tucked down, watching her feet and mindless of their progress out of the woods. Everything that had happened completely confused her, but she was angry. After being played for a fool and then getting the “L” bomb dropped on her head, she really wasn’t feeling too sure of herself.
As far as she had known in her time with High Velocity, Zane had never even come close to saying that he loved any of the women he’d bedded. Now here he was, afte
r being busted in a terrible web of lies, trying to say those words to her. Talk about bad timing—and it made her feel that he could very well be horribly insincere.
Those thoughts carried her to the edge of the woods, where Zane hesitated to let her catch up the few feet between them. Glancing up, but unable to allow herself to hold eye contact with him, she shook her head.
“Will you stay with us tonight?”
If he’d said anything besides “us” she would’ve refused, but they all needed to be together and her cover as Zane’s lover could still possibly come in handy. Funny, the little hiccup of pain she felt upon realizing that, once again, she was really just using lover as a cover instead of a true status.
“Yeah, we need to talk—all of us, and Conner. He deserves to know what’s going on.”
She wanted to see his reaction, hoping to see guilt, but somehow didn’t feel the satisfaction she expected when Zane winced. Still, she was at least appeased to know he wasn’t still moving blithely through this whole fiasco.
“Sure. We’ll all bunk together and make a real plan.” A pause, a breath. “I’m scared now, Charlie, and that’s the truth.”
She gave a short not and, picking up a much faster pace than before, the duo headed towards the trailers. She wasn’t surprised to see that Conner had already stationed himself right outside the trailer door. She stepped up. “We’ve got to talk. The guys have some details you need.”
“You mean beyond what I already know?”
“Yeah.”
She didn’t miss the frown between the other wolf’s eyes or the rigid stance he took, but she didn’t feel up to commenting on it out in the open. She climbed the stairs to Zane’s trailer and let herself in. Neither Micah nor Parker dared to glance her way, ducking their heads as she entered. Benji was nowhere to be seen.
Hearing Zane and Conner enter behind her, Charlie picked the lone chair in the living room and curled up on it. She really had nothing to say. Conner would listen to the guys first, then she would simply let him know that she knew nothing else and they’d all go on their merry way.
Resisting Velocity Page 13