“Do you promise not to yell, at least until we’ve discussed it?” asked Wilfred sternly. Barnabas grudgingly nodded his assent and Wilfred hesitantly released his hold. “Whatever was that about?” he asked, lowering his hand only after it became clear that his employer not only did not intend to shout again but appeared to be quietly pouting instead. Besides, a quick glance at the walkway leading up to the house showed that it was empty, which Wilfred assumed meant that Anti and Montu had gone inside, putting them, hopefully, out of earshot.
Barnabas looked away and grumbled unintelligibly under his breath.
“What?” asked Wilfred.
“I said I was going to yell ‘J’accuse!’ like a proper detective,” repeated Barnabas a bit more audibly. “Until you so rudely pinched my lips shut, that is.”
“Anti and Montu would almost certainly have heard you,” said Wilfred, defending himself.
“Which was exactly the point,” said Barnabas. “But now they’ve gone and, with them, my chance to officially accuse them.”
“Nay!” said Wilfred soothingly. “I’m sure you will have your chance. Only consider that they are falcons with great big beaks and nasty temperaments whilst we are mice. Perhaps we ought to have Anubis with us when you call them out?”
“Well,” said Barnabas, “I suppose I can wait until Anubis is here. Since you’re afraid, that is.”
Wilfred ignored the dig and nodded. “Good,” he said. “Off to Anubis, then? I’m sure he will be most interested in what we have to tell him.”
“Indeed he will,” said Barnabas, brightening a bit. “Do let’s hurry then. I wouldn’t want our quarry to slip away yet again.”
So saying, they crept away, taking care to remain unseen by those inside the house. They intended to walk back, but as soon as they made it down to the river a great thunderstorm struck. The storm came on suddenly, with nary a warning. One moment the sky was clear and the next it was as though all the furies of heaven had been unleashed.
The sky turned black as a huge storm cloud raced overhead. Wind whipped their robes into a frenzy and the rain seemed to come at them from all directions: up, down, and side to side. Soon both Wilfred and Barnabas were entirely and miserably drenched.
“Oh dear!” cried Barnabas, trying and failing to shield his face from the dreadful downpour.
Even as he spoke a loud rumble came from the sky. They both jumped as a bolt of lightning struck a tree branch nearby with a terrific crack. Shards of bark flew in all directions and the branch fell to the ground, blocking the path that led along the river towards Anubis’ throne room.
“What do we do?” yelled Wilfred over the din of the storm.
“I don’t know,” said Barnabas, turning round and round in a circle as though the solution to their problem might present itself at any moment from any direction and he simply had to be facing the right way in order to see it.
Unfortunately, what presented itself to him was not a solution at all, but was instead an exacerbation of their problems.
“Wilfred,” said Barnabas, pointing at the river itself. “Look.”
What Wilfred saw filled him with dismay. The water was rapidly rising. It rose so quickly that it would certainly overflow the banks and flood the very place they stood unless the rain stopped straightaway. The rain seemed to intensify, and small surges of river water began to lick at their feet.
“What shall we do?” cried Wilfred again, more insistently.
Barnabas looked at the rising river that threatened to overwhelm them at any moment. He looked at the felled tree branch that barred their path upriver. And he looked back up the hill, where Anti and Montu lurked in a shack with their prisoners.
“Up the hill!” shouted Barnabas. “We can shelter beside the house!” They had been sneaking about the place unseen only moments ago, and so it was entirely possible that they should succeed once more and continue to evade the notice of Anti and Montu whilst staying out of the rising flood.
Together they made to bolt back up the hill from which they had so recently descended. To their chagrin, however, the rain had made the thing into something of a mudslide, so that they could find purchase with neither hands nor feet. They tried repeatedly to scramble up only to slide immediately back down again.
“It’s no use!” yelled Wilfred. “It’s impossible!”
Barnabas looked up at the now insurmountable hill, then back to the maelstrom that the river had become. “Oh, Wilfred,” he said sadly, “it seems as though there are no viable options available to us. I think we must certainly die.” Streams of water fell down his face, but whether they were tears or rivulets of rain water (or a combination of both) was impossible to say.
“There must be something we can do!” cried Wilfred, although he, too, was at a loss for any particular ideas.
The water was up to their knees now, and it looked as though they would certainly be taken by the river at any moment. Once swept away, it was almost certain that they must drown.
“We should hold hands,” said Barnabas solemnly, “hold fast to each other. Perhaps we shall stand more firm that way. Or, at least, die together.”
“Or I could give you a ride,” suggested a voice behind them.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Ah!” yelped Barnabas and Wilfred in unison the moment they turned and saw the source of the unexpected third voice. It was none other than Sobek the crocodile god, who had slunk up quietly in the river just beside them so stealthily that neither had heard nor seen him.
In his fright, Barnabas jumped back and promptly got his foot tangled in a long vine that was being whipped about by the rising water. “He’s got me!” he cried. “Run! Save yourself!” Wilfred, however, was too loyal to his employer to do so and instead took firm hold of Barnabas’ hand.
“No need to run,” said Sobek mildly.
In their panic, neither Wilfred nor Barnabas paid any heed to Sobek’s words. Trying to pull Barnabas away from the terrible jaws and teeth of Sobek, Wilfred pulled on Barnabas’ arm with all his might, which only served to pull the vine tighter about Barnabas’ foot. Terrified, Barnabas thrashed and kicked about wildly and became even more entangled in the vine.
Too afraid to look, Barnabas assumed that the increasing pressure he felt upon his ankle was due to the closing jaws of the dreadful crocodile god. Thinking himself as good as dead, he ceased to struggle and began to cry.
“It’s no use,” he said mournfully. “I’m a goner.”
“Don’t give up!” said Wilfred. “If we can just get your foot free…”
“It’s got my foot between its teeth,” said Barnabas.
“I really don’t,” said Sobek.
“In fact I’m certain that it has probably eaten my foot entirely by now,” said Barnabas, ignoring Sobek.
“You’re terribly mistaken,” said Sobek. “How could I talk if I had your foot in my mouth? If you’d just calm down and think about it for a moment…”
“I’ve got you,” said Wilfred. “Just give it a good kick and I’ll pull you free.”
“Really, it’s just a vine. See there? It’s wrapped around your foot,” said Sobek.
“It’s too late,” said Barnabas. “It’s eating me, I’m sure. You should run, uh, swim for it whilst it’s still busy chewing.” The water had risen to an alarming height so that it now swirled furiously about their thighs.
“I’ll not leave you here alone with that…that…thing!” cried Wilfred. He sat down with a loud splashing plunk and buried his face in his knees.
“Well that was uncalled for,” said Sobek. “I do have feelings, you know.”
“No sense in us both being eaten,” said Barnabas. “Oh, it’s too cruel. First I’m killed by a mummy and now a crocodile! How embarrassing.” He sighed. “Tell Bindi… Oh, never mind. I’m just glad that she’s not here to see my ignominious end.” With that he closed his eyes, laid his head in the crook of his elbow, and waited to be eaten up entirely.
�
�Sweet mother of Osiris,” muttered Sobek to himself. “You eat one tiny little village and everybody gets all judgmental about it.” He settled down into the water and watched quietly for a few minutes as the two hysterical detectives cried it out together.
After a while the sniffles and whimpers coming from Barnabas and Wilfred began to slow, and eventually their sniveling ceased entirely. Barnabas opened an eye and peered up at Wilfred.
“Wilfred?” he ventured.
“Yes?” replied Wilfred.
“Are you eaten yet?” asked Barnabas.
Wilfred patted himself all over. “I don’t think so,” he said. “You?”
Barnabas pulled himself into a sitting position, then carefully lifted first one leg and then the other out of the water (the ensnaring vine had unwrapped itself from Barnabas’ foot once he ceased tugging and pulling at it). “I seem to be intact,” he said doubtfully. “Although perhaps we’ve been eaten and this is the after-afterlife?”
“I suppose it’s possible,” said Wilfred. “Although I would have assumed it would hurt a bit more to be eaten, wouldn’t you have?”
“Yes, but having never been eaten by a crocodile before, I don’t really have a frame of reference for the experience either,” Barnabas pointed out.
“Will the two of you please pay attention to what I’m saying for just one minute?” said Sobek.
Barnabas noticed Sobek once more, but he was too exhausted to be properly alarmed again. “He’s still here,” he whispered loudly to Wilfred. “Can he eat us twice, do you think?”
“Who knows?” hissed Wilfred. “The rules in this place are unfathomable, really.”
“I didn’t eat you the first time,” said Sobek.
“Do you think we should listen to what he has to say?” asked Barnabas.
“He does seem to be trying awfully hard to tell us something,” said Wilfred. “Still, he is a crocodile, and we mustn’t forget he ate up that village.”
“And perhaps us as well,” pointed out Barnabas.
“You know,” said Sobek, “you are quite likely to drown whilst you sit there arguing about whether you ought to talk to me or not.” Indeed, the water had risen quite a bit more, and was now up to their armpits.
“He does have a point,” said Barnabas to Wilfred. He turned back to Sobek and addressed him for the first time. “Still, you can see why we might be reluctant to talk to you, I’m sure. Seeing as how you ate up that entire village and we two as well.”
“I only ate a couple of people from that village,” protested Sobek. “And I assure you I didn’t eat you either. You are both entirely uneaten, as I’m sure you would see if you’d consider the facts for a moment.”
“The facts?” asked Barnabas. “I saw you gnashing your big teeth there in the water and felt a terrible pain in my foot immediately thereafter. What other explanation can there be?”
“Well, is your foot still there?” asked Sobek.
Barnabas pulled his feet up out of the water again. “Well, yes, but…”
“And are there any teeth marks or other sign of being gnawed upon by a crocodile?” interrupted Sobek.
“There is a scratch here, here, and also up here,” said Barnabas, pointing out said scratches.
Sobek curled his lips back to show his teeth. “Don’t you think these would cause much larger scratches than those?” he said.
Barnabas shuddered with distaste at the sight of the jagged yellow teeth. “I suppose so,” he agreed reluctantly.
“Then I didn’t eat you, did I?” Sobek said quite reasonably.
“I suppose not,” said Barnabas. “But you might have, had you felt like it. After all, you did eat those people in the village.”
“Only a couple,” said Sobek.
“No, almost the entire village was eaten,” insisted Barnabas, although he really couldn’t remember how many, exactly, had perished.
“But not all by me,” said Sobek. “There are other crocodiles in the river, you know.”
“I suppose so,” said Barnabas. “But you can hardly blame us for not really trusting you, nonetheless.”
“Almost anyone would have thought you meant to eat us,” added Wilfred. “It is a most reasonable assumption, considering.”
“But I don’t always eat people, is the point,” said Sobek. “And if I wanted to eat you, I would have done so by now.”
“Well, then, what do you want with us?” said Barnabas. “And you’d best hurry because the water is getting up to our necks and I’m sure we will float away soon.”
“That’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about,” said Sobek. “I was going to offer you a ride on my back.”
“Why would we want a ride on your back?” asked Barnabas, confused. “Do people do that often here? Seems an odd hobby, to ride on a crocodile, don’t you think Wilfred?”
Wilfred nodded. “I’m sure there are much safer ways of transportation,” he agreed.
Sobek chuffed impatiently. “It’s not for fun,” he said. “I am offering you my help. To keep you from drowning, you see.”
“But why ever would you want to help us?” said Barnabas.
“Can’t a crocodile just be a good person and want to help others for no reason?” said Sobek, widening his eyes innocently. Of course, being a crocodile, the affect was not so much endearing as it was horribly unsettling, and Barnabas and Wilfred cringed at the sight. “Okay,” said Sobek, allowing his face to go back to normal. “I have reasons for wanting you to succeed, is all.”
“Such as?” asked Barnabas.
“It’s this weather!” said Sobek. “The heat is fine, and so are the floods, but the constant sunshine is just awful. It’s very hard to sneak up on people, um, that is to say, zebras, when it’s broad daylight all the time.”
Barnabas and Wilfred exchanged a look. “All right,” said Barnabas. “So you want to help us. But how do we know you won’t change your mind and eat us later?”
“Well, I suppose you’ll have to either take that chance or drown here whilst you think about it,” said Sobek.
Seeing the sense of this and, further, seeing no better alternative plan to get out of their current predicament, Barnabas and Wilfred nodded to each other. Standing up, they hesitantly waded over to the waiting crocodile and gingerly climbed onto his back, carefully keeping their eyes on his snout as they did so.
The moment they were securely mounted on his knobby back, Sobek began to swim rapidly away. Barnabas and Wilfred were relieved to be out of the rising flood, but both immediately noticed that they were heading away from Anubis’ lair rather than towards it.
Wilfred raised his eyebrows and tilted his head pointedly in the opposite direction from the way they were currently heading. Barnabas cleared his throat loudly and shifted his weight around in an attempt to attract Sobek’s attention, but to no avail.
“Ahem,” said Barnabas at last. When Sobek made no reply, he tried a more direct approach. “I say, is it possible that we might be going in the wrong direction?” he asked politely.
“No,” said Sobek. Barnabas and Wilfred shared a confused glance.
“Are you quite sure?” persisted Barnabas. “I believe that Anubis’ place is the other way. In fact, I am nearly certain of it.”
“Yes, that is correct,” said Sobek. “But Hathor’s place is this way.”
“Hathor!” sputtered both Barnabas and Wilfred at once.
“Yes, of course,” answered Sobek. “Did I not mention that was where we were going?”
“You most certainly did not!” said Barnabas. “Indeed, Hathor is the absolute last person we’d wish to see. Well, Montu and Anti would be the last, or should I say the first…”
“And second, since there are two of them,” interjected Wilfred.
“Yes, exactly,” said Barnabas. “So that would make Hathor the third last person we’d want to see.”
“Although we mustn’t forget Set,” Wilfred pointed out. “I’m in no hurry to see him again.”
/>
“Oh, quite so!” agreed Barnabas. “Or Apep. Although I’m sure we couldn’t see him anyway, seeing as how he was eaten and what not.”
Wilfred shuddered. “A dreadful fellow!”
“Terribly dreadful,” said Barnabas. Then, remembering that he was attempting to make a point, he addressed Sobek once more. “But that is beside the point. The point is that we mustn’t go to Hathor.”
“It is to Anubis that we must go so that he might rescue Ma’at and Khepre,” added Wilfred.
“But…,” began Sobek. Barnabas, however, cut him off.
“No, no, I must insist,” he said. “To go there would be most unwise. She is working with Montu, you see.”
Suddenly Wilfred gasped. He opened his mouth and closed it again as though he had something dreadful to say but was loath to utter it aloud.
“Whatever is the matter with you?” hissed Barnabas.
“It’s just that, well, the thought just occurred to me…” His voice trailed off.
“What thought? Out with it!” demanded Barnabas impatiently.
“What if Sobek is working with Montu as well?” whispered Wilfred loudly. “What if he’s taking us to Hathor so that she might deliver us to Montu and Anti?”
“You know I can hear you when you whisper like that,” said Sobek mildly.
“Oh my,” said Barnabas, ignoring the crocodile. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
“It fits the evidence at hand,” said Wilfred. “And if we’ve learned one thing in this place, it’s to be prudent in whom we place our trust.”
“Should we jump off, then?” asked Barnabas, eying the choppy waves and erratic currents of the river warily. “Try to swim for it?”
“That would be most unwise,” said Sobek. “There are other crocodiles in this water, and I cannot guarantee they wouldn’t like a couple of tasty mouthfuls like yourselves.”
“Hmmm,” said Wilfred. “I’m not sure that I can swim with the waves so high. Plus, there may be other crocodiles in there.”
“Quite right,” agreed Barnabas.
Barnabas Tew and The Case Of The Missing Scarab Page 24