About that Night

by Keane, Hunter J.

  “I don’t need you to save me, Luke,” I said. “In fact, I think it’s about time I saved myself.”

  I tossed my hair as I marched out of his office, making it all the way to the bathroom before the tears started to fall. I hated myself for crying over Luke. I felt broken, and I hated that feeling. I left work early and polished off an entire six-pack of beer before passing out on my couch. Sometime later, the door buzzer snapped me from my sleep. Even before I got downstairs, I knew who I would find at the door.

  “Luke.” His name felt acidic as it passed over my lips. “What are you doing here?”

  He didn’t flinch when he answered me. “I came to see you. To apologize.”

  “For dumping me? Or for treating me like shit?” I was freezing in a thin t-shirt and my teeth chattered around the words.

  “For both actually.” Now his eyes met mine und and all I could see was a broken man. “I wanted to tell you that I was sorry and to explain why I said those things.

  “You broke up with me, Luke.” I hugged my arms over my chest. “You broke my heart.”

  Luke’s jaw tightened and his eyes grew stormy. “I’m sorry.”

  “You hurt me. You said you wouldn’t do that, but you did.” I wondered if the tears that spilled from my eyes would freeze on my cheeks.

  “I never meant to hurt you, Kasey. I love you.” But what I saw in his eyes wasn’t love, it was regret. “I know I screwed this up.”

  I ached with longing, wanting so badly to run into his arms. “If your goal was to end it, I’d say you didn’t screw that up at all.”

  “You should go inside. You’ll get frostbite.” He sounded like Montana-Luke again. “I’m not good for you, Kasey. You’re better off without me.”

  “You are good for me, Luke,” I said. “You made me happy.”

  Luke shook his head. “If I was good for you, I never would’ve hurt you the way I just did.”

  “So that’s it then? You don’t want to be with me?” My chest was starting to hurt, and not just from breathing in the thin, cold air.

  “I don’t want you to be with me.” Luke took three steps back. “I want you to be happy, Kase. You deserve that. And I can’t make you happy.”

  “That’s not true.” My words were barely audible.

  “Go inside, Kasey. Forget about me. Forget about us.” Luke turned away from me so that I had to strain to hear his next words. “Forget about everything that happened after that first night.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  In a normal world when your boyfriend dumps you, you curse a little, cry a lot, and eat a ton of ice cream. Then you go about your life and never have to see him again. Starting the day after Luke ended our relationship, we spent our days avoiding looking at each other over conference room tables and communicating through third parties whenever possible. After four weeks of no eye contact and avoiding being alone together, I was on the verge of screaming or quitting. Or maybe both.

  I was in a particularly bitter mood during a meeting that happened to be taking place on Valentine’s Day. Our CFO, Ted, was going over some financial concerns, but I barely heard him. I kept my eyes focused on the paperwork in front of me. Luke was leaning back in the chair across the table, flipping through a financial report.

  “Are these numbers accurate?” he asked Ted, stabbing a long finger at the paper.

  My face grew hot as I thought for too long about that finger and all the places it had been on my body. When I finally allowed myself to glance up, I caught Luke watching me. He looked away immediately, but the damage was already done.

  “Those numbers would be much higher if you would stop turning away potential clients, Donovan.” Ted was still angry that Luke had refused to represent the philandering abuser who happened to be a Congressman.

  “Well, Ted, you’ll be happy with the prospect that is coming in tomorrow.” Luke rolled up his paperwork and tapped the table with it. “We’ve got a Major League baseball player coming in that is being accused of doping. Apparently he’s part of a larger group. Could be a windfall for us.”

  “Good. I hope they’re all guilty.” Ted wasn’t trying to be an asshole. We all knew that guilty people were willing to pay more.

  “Kasey, do you have the Henderson file ready?” Luke’s voice was distinctly more guarded when he addressed me.

  “It’s ready. I’ll drop it by your office later.” I really didn’t want to stop by Luke’s office, but I didn’t have much choice.

  “Sooner would be preferred over later,” he snapped.

  I rolled my eyes. “Whatever, Luke.”

  I heard everyone in the room suck in a breath. No one talked to Luke Donovan like that. Frankly, no one at Maverick even called him Luke. I knew that he was glaring at me, but I refused to look at him.

  “We’re done here.” Luke rose smoothly to his feet.

  I stayed in my seat long after he had gone. On his way out of the room, my coworker Dan turned to me. “Donovan’s just in a bad mood because of the lawsuit. Try not to let it get to you.”

  “Lawsuit?” My head snapped up.

  Dan looked surprised. “I assumed you knew. I thought you and Rachel were friends.”

  “We were, until she got fired. She sort of blamed me for that.” It had been a few weeks since Luke had let her go. She had been slacking on the job and Luke finally got tired of looking the other way. Rachel was convinced that I had been responsible for her departure.

  “Well, now she’s suing for wrongful termination. She claims that Donovan was sleeping with somebody at Maverick and that she found out about it so he fired her.” Dan shrugged. “Sounds like a crazy soap opera if you ask me.”

  Something clicked in the back of my brain. “When did the lawsuit get filed?”

  “About a month ago, I think.” Dan noticed that I had gone pale. “Don’t worry, Maxwell. I’m sure it won’t amount to anything. Our jobs are secure.”

  My job was the last thing on my mind. Everything made sense now. I hurried back to my office and grabbed the stack of papers for the Henderson case. Luke had requested it now, so I was going to deliver.

  He was sitting at his desk when I stormed into the room and slammed his office door shut. I dropped the papers onto his desk with a loud thud.

  “Here’s the damn file,” I said, one hand on my hip.

  Luke started riffling through the papers I had just deposited. “You can’t talk to me like this, Kasey. You might be mad at me personally, but you have to be professional in the office.”

  “For shit sake, Luke.” I was trying so hard to get a reaction from him- any reaction. But Luke had mastered the art of remaining cool.

  “I mean it. If you’re going to throw a hissy fit, just go home.” Luke started making notes on one of the court documents.

  I grabbed his pen out of his hand and said, “Why didn’t you tell me that Rachel is suing you?”

  He reached for another pen and resumed his note taking. “I was advised by my lawyer not to discuss it with anyone who works at Maverick.”

  I had known Luke long enough and observed him closely enough to know when he was on the edge of losing control. He was seconds away. “Look at me, Luke. Please.”

  At first, I didn’t think it had worked. He kept his head down for a long time. But then he very slowly set his pen on the desk and lifted his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes looked so tired and sad.

  “Why didn’t you tell me, Luke?” I ached to hold him, or even just to touch him.

  “I was trying to protect you.” He let out a breath. “I wanted to keep you out of this mess.”

  “That’s why you ended things.” I remembered standing in that very office when Luke said it was over.

  Luke got up and walked over to the window. His office had an amazing view of the city and Lake Michigan. It was the tallest building around so the view was unobstructed. “I tried. I sent you away, thinking that would be the end of it. But I couldn’t stand the idea that I had hurt you. And I could
n’t even begin to imagine my life without you in it.”

  “That’s why you came to my place that night.” My voice sounded very small.

  “I wanted you back. I had only just sent you away, but I already wanted you back.” Luke leaned his head against the clear glass. “I needed you to be mine again, Kasey.”

  “You never lost me. I was always yours.” I was still his.

  “When I got to your place, I realized I was being selfish. When I saw how mad you were at me, I tried to convince myself that was for the best. I couldn’t move on, so I needed you to move on.” Luke straightened when he sensed me moving closer to him.

  “But I didn’t move on, Luke. I still haven’t moved on.” I was close enough that I could touch him, but I refrained. “You’re all I think about. Every day, all day.”

  Luke turned around, looking tortured and irresistible at the same time. “She’s naming you in the lawsuit, Kasey. Everyone is going to find out about us.”

  “I don’t care.” The words surprised me as much as Luke. My biggest fear since getting involved with Luke was that our relationship would become public. I was afraid of the judgment and the gossiping. Women who slept with their bosses tended to have very short careers. But given a choice between being with Luke and having a successful career at Maverick, I would pick Luke every time. “Let them talk.”

  “Kasey.” Luke was trying not to look hopeful. I had said the exact thing he was dying to hear, but was unwilling to allow himself to want me to say. “It could get ugly. I don’t want your entire career ruined over this.”

  “If that happens, I’ll just find another career.” I smiled at him. “I’m a woman with many skills, remember?”

  Luke allowed himself a small smile. “I remember. I remember everything, Kasey.”

  “It doesn’t have to be just a memory,” I said. I moved my hand very slowly so that Luke would have time to stop me if he really wanted to. When I rested it lightly on his chest, he sighed.

  “You aren’t playing fair,” he said, inching forward. I felt his hand on my hip as his head lowered toward mine.

  “I’m not playing at all.” I could feel Luke’s heart beat faster against my hand. As he pressed his forehead against mine and I stared into his eyes, my pulse picked up as well. I was certain he wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer. But then he pushed me away and marched back to his desk. He slammed his hands down and leaned forward, his body heaving as he took several deep breaths.

  “We can’t.” His voice cracked. “We shouldn’t.”

  I couldn’t bring myself to look at him so I moved closer to the window, placing my hand on the cool glass. It was a surprisingly sunny day considering how cold it was outside. A flash of movement on the glass pulled me back inside the room. Luke was behind me now.

  “Why is it so hard to stay away from you?” he muttered. I found his reflection and our eyes locked.

  His hand settled at my side, a soft caress. I didn’t dare move.

  Just when he opened his mouth to say something more, someone knocked loudly on the door. We both jumped and then scattered. Luke settled himself at his desk while I perched on the couch.

  “Come in,” Luke said, his voice cracking slightly.

  “Sorry to interrupt.” I thought I heard a tone in Dan’s voice as he stepped into the room. He nodded at me and handed Luke a stack of papers. “You wanted me to let you know when we got the medical report.”

  “Yes. Thank you.” Luke glanced at the report. “Does this say exactly what I think it says?”

  “It does. Good news for us.” Dan grinned. “Now maybe Ted can stop being so cranky.”

  Luke offered a tight smile. “Ted never stops being cranky. That’s why I pay him the big bucks.”

  “Sure. Well, I’ll let you two get back to it then.”

  I flinched and glanced nervously at Luke. He kept his eyes on the medical report, but I could tell that his hand was still shaking slightly.

  “Thanks, Dan. Let’s get a meeting on the books tomorrow to go over this in detail.”

  Dan exaggerated a salute. “Sure thing, Donovan.”

  As the door closed behind Dan, the silence in the office was overwhelming. I could feel Luke watching me, but I wasn’t ready to look at him. As it was, I was having a very hard time not throwing myself over his desk.

  “I should go,” I said, wondering if my legs would be able to hold me up.

  “Yeah.” Luke didn’t sound convinced. I finally made eye contact and it was clear that he was conflicted. “Or maybe-”

  He didn’t get to finish his thought because his phone picked that moment to ring. After a long hesitation, he picked it up.

  “Donovan.”

  I could tell right away that it was going to be a long call, so I used the opportunity to make my getaway before it was too late. I knew from experience that once Luke Donovan got me in his hooks, there was no escape.

  My office was supposed to be a safe place- somewhere I could hide out until the storm passed. I needed some time to think and make sure I was ready for what might lie ahead. Choosing Luke would mean accepting that I might be saying goodbye to my current career. So when the Mark Lawson called and asked to meet for lunch, my head wasn’t exactly in a good state.

  Mark was the CEO of Veritoil, one of our biggest clients. A few months earlier we had helped them save face after a nasty oil spill. I had worked closely with Mark, and he had been very appreciative. He suggested lunch as a way to say thank you and I was naïve enough to think it was that innocent.

  “Kasey, you did good work saving our ass,” Mark said after we had exchanged pleasantries and placed our lunch order. “We owe you.”

  “Nonsense. That’s my job, Mark.” I smiled when I thought about what Luke had said earlier. “That’s why they pay me the big bucks.”

  Mark returned my smile easily. He had a very nice smile. “Speaking of big bucks. We want you. I want you.”

  “I’m sorry?” I choked on my water and broke into a coughing fit.

  “I want to hire you.” Mark drummed his fingers on the table. “Don’t say anything yet. Just hear me out.”

  I couldn’t have interrupted even if my brain had been able to string together a coherent thought. My mouth literally couldn’t form words. I nodded that he should continue.

  “Whatever Donovan is paying you, we’ll go 50 percent higher. The job would mean you would have to relocate to D.C., but the signing bonus we’ll pay you should more than cover expenses associated with that.” Mark reached for his water glass and I noticed the silver band on his ring finger for the first time. I had to admit, it would be nice to have a boss that was 100% off-limits.

  “What exactly would I do at Veritoil?” I surprised myself with my question. Was I actually considering taking this job?

  “Consultant. Legal advisor. We can determine the title later, but essentially you’ll work full-time saving our ass. We already know you’ll be good at it, so now you just need to decide if you’re ready to make the leap.”

  The waitress brought our lunch and business talk was stifled for the time being. Not a lot of negotiating could happen between bites of food, but after the bill had been paid, Mark raised the issue again.

  “I don’t need a yes right now, but I also won’t take a no. Take some time to think about it. This is a prestigious position and you are a young woman. This could really launch your career.” Mark and I shook hands. “I have to say, I expected you to not even let me finish making my offer.”

  “Why is that?” I was surprised, too, actually.

  Mark thought for a second. “I’m not sure. I just picked up on some strong loyalty between you and Donovan.” He chuckled. “I know he’s a big fan of yours. He’ll be pretty pissed if he finds out about this conversation.”

  “What Donovan doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” I said with feigned gusto. In reality, my talk with Mark felt like the ultimate betrayal. Not because Mark had offered me a job, but because I was seriously
considering taking it.

  When I returned to my office, the bouquet of flowers on my desk made everything that much worse. I knew from one glance at them that they were the work of Luke Donovan. I stared at the white lilies and reached for the card with a shaking hand. The envelope said simply, “Kasey,” and the card inside was simple and to the point.

  “Please say yes to dinner with me tomorrow night. Forever and always yours, Luke.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  When I first met Luke, I tried to fight it. I tried to pretend that I was an independent woman that could do as I pleased. But eventually I learned that I would save myself a lot of trouble if I just accepted the truth- I couldn’t say no to Luke Donovan.

  It was the Friday after Valentine’s Day and the restaurant was crowded. But Luke knew how to exert his influence, so I wasn’t surprised when the hostess led me to the best table in the place. Luke was already there, standing gracefully as I approached. He looked dashing in his dark suit. I was sucker for a man in a suit. Scratch that. I was a sucker for this man.

  “Kasey.” Luke’s smile was breathtaking. “You look amazing.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I waved away his flattery. It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate it, I just had a hard time accepting compliments. I smoothed down a few wrinkles in my skin-tight red dress and winked at him. “You look pretty damn hot yourself.”

  Luke laughed and kissed my cheek. “Thanks for agreeing to meet me for dinner.”

  “You know I can’t resist you.” No use denying the obvious. “Plus you know how I like a free meal.”

  Luke laughed. His laughter was one of my favorite sounds. “You have no idea how much I have missed you.”

  If it was anywhere close to as much as I missed him, then he had been going through hell. It would have been easy to forget the past and just focus on being with Luke in the present. I wanted to be with him, and we were together. But not everything could go unspoken.

  “About what happened in my office,” Luke said. He reached for the glass of scotch in front of him and that was when I noticed that he had ordered one for me, too. “I crossed the line. I should never have done that. It’s good that we were interrupted before it went too far.”