When she thought about his words later, they came back to her like a recording, word for word. She wasn’t able to turn them around and analyze them in her normal way. No, they remained as they had been delivered, in their totality. She felt like the words had a life unto themselves and could not be changed by interpretation and analysis. They were and would be as they were delivered. She would know what they meant when they were ready, not when she was.
Was this how her life would be among the aliens? Would she always be in reactive mode from here on, always having to respond to what was new and unknown?
She would have to give up the control that comes from knowing or risk losing her mind. It was as if this world required her to walk by some elusive faith in the unseen and unchartered. That was not her way. She was a woman of science and technology. To make sense of her world, things had to add up. One plus one had to equal two, or she was lost and confused, and this upset her.
She wanted Phoebe to awaken and help her. Phoebe was more the spiritual one and would know what to make of all this. The healers’ way was to let things take their course. The more she interacted with them, the more she was certain they were older than the dirt on Earth. Their perception of time was vastly different from hers. And why did they call her ‘bright one’? They never called her Kyra, and it was starting to make her question how much they knew about her.
She was about to leave Phoebe and go to her rooms for what seemed like evening on board. She had this urge to go. No, it was more like she was drawn to stand and move. Maybe she would walk and explore the ship some more. Most of the crew would have departed to their rooms or to the central part of the ship, where they gathered and socialized in a lounge area. She knew she didn’t feel like being around too many others, so she might try to find a library or media room.
She stood to leave and noticed Tordin stood in the entry to Phoebe’s room. She hated the fact that she hadn’t sensed his presence. Although when she thought about it, the air had seemed to get warmer, and she’d had the urge to get up, move and leave. Was he the reason for this? Kyra took a step back into the room to allow him entry. She watched as he neared Phoebe’s container to look at her.
“She looks a lot better than when she was first brought in. The healers tell me she will make a full recovery.”
Kyra didn’t know what to say. His being so close was wreaking havoc with her ability to function and form coherent sentences. It was as if she’d short-circuited. She hadn’t been this close to him since the day she’d fainted in his office. That was days ago but felt more like an eternity now. She took a step toward him and watched with dismay as he took a few steps toward the other side of Phoebe’s container, as if to put it between them like some sort of barrier. Did he know how much she wanted to touch and be near him?
Oh no, do I disgust him?
The thought drove a spear of pain through her that took her breath away. If she made him feel anything like Brantley’s unwanted attention made her feel, she’d be sick. Who was she kidding? There was no way Tordin would be interested in her.
For all he knew, she was just the little Earthian refugee running around, trying to fit in. She offered nothing in the way of great accomplishment or personal beauty. She was average-looking, homeless and completely dependent on his graciousness for her survival. She was his guest, or more likely burden, who also had the hots for him. She had to make herself realize how stupidly she was behaving. Once again, she’d been a fool when it came to the affairs of the heart. She didn’t understand men or how to deal with them.
When she was able to regain a normal intake of air, Kyra chose to make light of her hurt feelings by completely suppressing them. She put on her best smile. She could do this, but not if she had to look at him.
She looked at Phoebe’s sleeping form and said, “Yes, the healers are amazing. I’m in awe of what they are able to accomplish. Phoebe is doing better, and I trust the healers that she will wake in her own time.” She paused to take in breath, since she’d not taken one during that entire reply. Then she added, “Thank you again, Tordin, for taking us in and being so kind. I don’t know that any of us would be alive if it hadn’t been for your kindness. You saved our lives, and for that I will always be in your debt.”
She looked up at him to see a quick look of affection. He was looking at Phoebe. Kyra’s heart sank to a new level of despair. Even in a coma, Phoebe rendered every male in her presence a drooling idiot. Phoebe looked almost angelic. She couldn’t blame Tordin when she compared the two, now almost side by side. What was she thinking? There was no way she could ever compete with Phoebe.
Kyra remained silent, not knowing what to do next. She was immediately reduced once again to that awkward woman in her friend’s shadow. What could she say to the most perfect man she’d ever met when there was Phoebe? She watched as he continued to look down at the real life Sleeping Beauty. At that moment, Kyra hated her and then, just as quickly, hated herself for thinking that way about the woman who had done so much for her.
Her thoughts and feelings were in conflict. All she ever desired was the confidence to go after what she wanted. She wanted Tordin, but now she knew it wasn’t mutual. He’d been kind, gracious and professional. But that was the extent of his feelings for her, and it all came tumbling down. All the days she’d spent daydreaming and thinking about him were for naught. And she felt really stupid about all those dreams she continued to have, with him as the star.
Whenever it came to men, stupidity seemed to hound her. If she liked them, there was a great chance they never reciprocated. This was no exception. Now she only wanted to get out of here, away from him as he made goo-goo eyes at Phoebe. She’d worked up the nerve to walk out of the room when Malm came in.
Malm. He was the only one of them who was safe. He treated Phoebe and Kyra the same, behaving like a loyal friend. She ran to him before she realized what she was doing and gave him a big hug.
“Malm! I’m so happy to see you. I wondered if you’d come by to visit Phoebe today,” she said, holding onto his firm, narrow waist as if she’d fall without it. She felt him stiffen a little, but then he returned the hug.
“Kyra, no I was detained a bit by something in the command room. I’m glad I managed to come when you were here, too. Phoebe seems to do better when you’re here.”
“No. She only responds to you, Malm. I just enjoy seeing her do something more than lie there when you touch her.”
Malm tensed again and removed her from his waist as he addressed Tordin. Kyra assumed he hadn’t realized he was in the room until now. The lighting was set for evening after all, and it was dim in there.
“Sire, I didn’t see you at first. It is good to see you visiting Phoebe. I know she senses all our presence. I think it will help her knowing you’ve come to visit, as well,” Malm said, assuming an air of respect for his commander.
Kyra slipped back to allow the two to interact. She wanted to watch how they acted around Phoebe, now that Malm was here and Tordin had been ogling her.
“Malm, cousin, we are off duty. Please stop with the Sire. Yes, I’ve been meaning to come down for a visit.” He looked at Kyra and said, “I was drawn to come and make my presence known. It’s been too long since I did that.”
Malm turned to look at Kyra as well and gave a warm smile. She noticed the thin scar make its usual arc as he did so. It only served to make him even more handsome in her opinion. At least one of them could appreciate her in Phoebe’s presence.
Malm spoke, “I agree, but it looks like you may have spent too much time away. Is everything as you remember?”
“Not as much, but I will find a way to get back into a routine that works. I see you have managed to do it, with great results.”
Now Kyra was lost. What were they talking about? They’d slipped into their native tongue, and they now spoke too fast for her to comprehend. Were they talking about the healing bay or work? It didn’t make sense, and they were effectively ignoring her, so she d
ecided to leave them to it.
When she took a few steps, she heard Tordin say to her, “If you are leaving, I can walk with you. I’m headed back to my private quarters, and I’d like to catch up with how things have been going with you.”
She was startled. Now that Malm was there, he wanted to show her some attention. She ought to say no, but she couldn’t because he was the commander, and she ached to be around him. Darn her, she was too weak around him. He didn’t want her, but she was willing to take any bone he would throw her way. She was disgusting in her own eyes.
“Okay. I’m heading to my quarters for the evening, as well.” She directed her attention to Malm, who had taken his normal seat as one of the healers attached the unit that allowed him to touch Phoebe. She also noticed that Tordin stared with what looked like a look of amazement as Phoebe began to move her limbs in an undulating motion that was growing more full and fluid with each day’s passing. She felt a smug sense of satisfaction that Phoebe responded to Malm in front of Tordin, and also that Tordin seemed in awe of Malm’s effect on her. Neither mattered. The sooner she got this walk over with and made it to her room to cry, the better. “Tordin, I’m ready if you are,” she said and headed out of the room.
She set a quick pace to get as far from him as possible. Let him catch up. She wasn’t lingering to see him drooling over Phoebe a moment longer. She’d allow him to do his duty, but she wouldn’t have to make it easy for him.
“Kyra, wait for me, please.”
She didn’t want to admit how hearing him say her name turned her to putty; she slowed down but didn’t stop. In a few seconds, he was by her side, walking in step with her. The walk to her rooms was long, and she didn’t know if she could make it without tears escaping. She was so hurt—she wanted to be alone to have her crying fit.
He walked beside her, not saying a word. The only communication she felt was the heat wafting off his body and tickling hers. She felt tortured. On the one hand, she wanted to cry over how he’d rejected her, and on the other she wanted to accidentally bump up against him. The corridors of the ship were too wide to pull that off with any believability, since this one was empty but for them. So she walked onward and continued to pick up her pace.
When they passed one of the training rooms, what would be called a gym on Earth, hope mounted within her. She knew she was over halfway to her rooms. He was still walking next to her, quiet as ever and as hot as ever, too. She was dying here. It would be so easy to grab his hand, but she wouldn’t. He’d made it clear he didn’t want to be near her. He was simply being a gentleman, seeing her to her rooms, and she would accept it as such.
Finally.
They reached her rooms, and she turned to say thank you. When she did, his hand came to rest against her cheek. Before she realized it, his thumb rubbed away a tear that was about to fall. She’d teared up in spite of herself. His touch melted every part of her and made her feel like everything was right with the world. Stupid! She was still addicted to his touch, and now she didn’t want him to stop.
“What’s wrong, Kyra? What has made you so unhappy?” he asked, sincerity in his brilliant eyes.
She shook her head. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t confess how stupid she’d been in her girlish crush on him. He didn’t deserve her dumping that on him. He had every right to like and want Phoebe. He was a man, and Phoebe was beyond beautiful. Heck, she got better looking each and every day.
So she lied. “I’m just tired and sad to see Phoebe like that. I think I need to get some sleep, and I’ll be all right.” She turned to go into her room and was surprised when he followed her in.
“Kyra, why are you shielding and being untruthful with me? Why do you hurt so much? I can tell it has to do with something I’ve done. Please allow me to make it up to you.”
What? Damn aliens and their super powers. This sucked. She couldn’t even have her lie to herself. He stood too close, and she didn’t know what to do. Breathe. So she did, taking a moment to take a few deep, calming breaths. He stood there, unmoving, and waited.
What could she do? She couldn’t confess what was really wrong. He might run from the room and avoid her like the plague. She hedged for time and hoped he’d get the hint and leave. Instead he stepped closer until only about an inch of space separated them.
A finger under her chin brought her tear-stained face up to look into his.
“Kyra, you are a terrible liar. You can’t even think of something better to tell me? Why won’t you trust me enough to tell me what’s going on—the truth. I apologize for staying away. It’s how it has to be for now.”
“What? Your words are so confusing. Have I done something that would cause you to stay away from me? Have I repulsed you?” she asked before she could stop the words from falling out of her mouth.
“What? No! You could never repulse me. You are my guest, and I should find a way to check in on you more often.”
Oh, that again. She didn’t want to be his damned guest, she wanted to be with him. This torture had to end. She tried to move back to put more distance between them before she lost control and threw herself at him. He leaned down and in. With the stealth of a panther, his lips brushed hers.
Liquid, pulsating heat spread through her as their lips connected. She was too stunned to move. Was this really happening? She hoped so with everything in her. She stepped back into the kiss and rejoiced when she felt strong arms encircle her.
A small moan escaped her throat as Tordin continued to kiss her. Kyra was in over her head. This wasn’t some dream where she had all the confidence that she could wish for. This was real. He was here, able to tell how inexperienced she was. She didn’t know what to do or how to act. Maybe this was a kiss of mercy to help her out of her sadness. Was he trying to get her to confess what was wrong by kissing it out of her?
Well, that might just work if he kept this up. What should she do with her hands? She wanted to rub them up and down his chest, but she was too self-conscious. Then he captured her face between his large, strong hands and tilted his own face to crush her lips with more hunger than before. He removed a hand from her face to find hers and placed it on his chest. “Touch me back,” he said against her lips.
She trembled with excitement and need. He’d given her permission to touch him, and he hadn’t run away. Either he was a great actor, or he wanted her. This kiss had all the passion and heat she always hoped it would. Allowing herself to let go and enjoy the moment, she ran her hand up his chest, enjoying the firmness of it. She brought her other hand up to join in and found his hardened nipples. She traced tight little circles around them with the middle fingers of both hands and rejoiced when he let out a low growl that resembled a distant thunder rumble and that vibrated into her, down to the core.
This was the invitation she needed to become bolder. Her hands spanned his chest, down the eight-pack of hard abs and around to encircle his narrow waist. He responded by following suit, pulling her tightly against him in an embrace that locked her into him. She sighed in contented pleasure and opened her mouth to beckon him in for more.
When the tip of his tongue met hers, prickles of electricity sizzled and slid up and down her spine, causing her to arch into him. Her full breasts squeezed against his hard chest as she fought to remain grounded. Her entire being felt like she could easily float or even take flight. His tongue glided into her mouth as she felt his hot sweet breath caress her face. When he flicked and teased her tongue, Kyra knew she would give in to any demands he made.
Her nails lightly ran up and down his back, and he began to make sounds that stirred her insides, increasing her need for him. When he released her mouth for a breath, she sucked his bottom lip into her mouth, and he shuddered.
“Stop. I have to stop. I’m not supposed to be here with you like this. This is not how it should be. I could mess everything up. Please forgive me for losing myself.” He pulled back from her and looked at her with horror in his eyes.
She was ove
rly aroused and confused. What was he saying? “What? No, I want you. I mean I wanted you to kiss me. I enjoyed—”
“No, Kyra, you don’t understand. You’re my guest. If I do this, then I could mess up any hope for a future that doesn’t bring dishonor to my father. I have to go. I thought I could be around you. I have done wrong by you. My apologies, but I must leave now.”
He stepped away from her. The removal of his body from hers was so swift she almost lost her balance and stumbled. The loss of his body heat left her cold. She watched as he whirled away as if in slow motion, his strides eating up the space between them and the door. Once there he said, “Again, dear Kyra, I apologize for overstepping into your personal space. I must not let myself lose sight of what is right or let this happen again. I will do my best to remember you are my guest and under my protection. Please forgive my actions here.” He turned, opened the door and left.
Kyra could only stare in disbelief after him as she stood in the empty, cold, lonely room.
10
Kyra dove into her work, spending long hours learning the ship’s systems. She’d started to pick up an Olodian word here and there as well. Realizing the men around her all spoke English, even if it was a chore for them, Kyra asked the lead warrior to have his team speak their native tongue so she could learn. Hearing the language all day and forcing herself to stretch and grow to communicate with them gave her the perfect opportunity to focus on work and not on Tordin.
If she couldn’t have happiness of the heart, she’d become the best at her job. Kyra needed a win. She couldn’t lose everything she’d worked so hard for. She was determined to become the best here so they had no choice but to keep her or even elevate her to run a crew of her own. She’d find a way to get over not being around the commander by working harder and smarter. She’d pull her own weight and stop being a burden on him and his resources. She just had to learn their language, become strong enough to stay up for two days at a time and learn a whole new world of science, physics and technology—no big deal, right?
Rescued By Tordin: Olodian Alien Warrior Romance Page 11