First Impressions

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by Aria Ford


  The room froze. Both Jacqueline and Bradley stared at their mother in shock. Neither of them could believe what she just said. I wasn’t surprised. This is exactly what I’d been expecting and exactly why I didn’t want to come.

  “Apologize?” I asked weakly. “You want me to apologize?”

  “You don’t think you should?” Mr. Keeton scoffed. “Clearly, you haven’t changed.”

  “You abandoned me!” I snapped. “You took me in, told me I was family, and then you just threw me to the wolves!”

  “You deserved it!” Mr. Keeton yelled. “Don’t sit here and blame us for your screw-ups, Ryan. We did everything for you! We gave you a chance, and you threw it back in our faces. How dare you insinuate that this is our fault!”

  “You kicked me out,” I reminded him. “Remember? Tell me, if Bradley screwed up, would you have kicked him out? If he did exactly what I did, what would you have done?”

  “That’s not the point,” Mr. Keeton argued evasively.

  “It is the point,” I snapped. “You said I was your son, but you didn’t treat me like one. I made a mistake, and you just gave up one me. That’s not what parents are supposed to do.”

  “Enough,” Mrs. Keeton said, glaring at me from across the table. “You’re still just as ungrateful as ever. We loved you! We cared for you! And you did nothing to repay us.”

  “You threw me out!” I screamed.

  I couldn’t believe they were acting like this was my fault. They sat there on their high horses, looking down on me like something nasty they stepped in. In that moment, I never hated them more.

  “Stop,” Jacqueline said loudly. “Just stop it. This is not why we came here tonight.”

  “He shouldn’t have come,” Mr. Keeton said. “He was only invited because your brother insisted we try.”

  With that, I was done. I leapt up from the table and stormed out of the room.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Jacqueline

  I watched Ryan storm out of the room with rage boiling in my veins. Part of me wanted to go after him, but I knew I was needed here more. My parents didn’t know anything. They didn’t know the truth about what happened on that night nine years ago.

  As I looked between them, I saw the anger in their faces, and it fueled my desire to finally tell them everything. I glanced at my brother who was staring at the doorway, having watched Ryan disappear. He looked conflicted and hurt, like he didn’t quite know what to do. In that moment, I knew I was the only person who could fix this.

  “It wasn’t Ryan,” I said simply. My parents looked at me, confused. “That night, it wasn’t him, okay? It was me.”

  “What was you?” Mom asked. “What are you talking about?”

  “The night Dad’s truck caught fire,” I continued. “I was playing around, trying to figure out how the engine worked. Dad kept telling me he would teach me about it, but he never did. So, I was angry and decided to teach myself. But I must have messed something up, because when I turned the key, the hood went up in flames.”

  “You’re lying,” Dad said firmly, shaking his head and getting to his feet. He paced around the room, still shaking his head. “You’re just trying to cover for him.”

  “If I was, would it have taken me this long to do it?” I snapped. “I was scared to death of what you might do when you found out what I did. I ran to the backyard, sobbing, and just waiting for you to find me. But you didn’t. Ryan did. He saw the truck and put the fire out. Then he found me hiding in the backyard.”

  “I can’t believe this,” Bradley said softly.

  “I didn’t know what to do,” I continued. “I was so young and so scared. Ryan was just trying to help me. He told me he’d already been in a lot of trouble, so this would be nothing. He said I didn’t need to worry about anything, that it would be okay. The next thing I knew, you were both screaming at him in the living room, and he was packing a bag. He left, and I didn’t see him again. Until now.”

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me this?” Bradley demanded. “I spent all this time thinking Ryan …”

  “Would it have changed anything?” I asked. “Would you have felt differently about him? Or me?”

  “No, but still,” he said.

  “I was scared, okay?” I said. “God, I was only fourteen. I didn’t know what to do. I never expected either of you to kick him out! After you did, I was scared to tell the truth because I didn’t want you to make me leave too.”

  “We would never do that,” Mom said softly.

  “But you did it with Ryan?” I snapped. “He was supposed to be your son, just like I’m your daughter.”

  “It was different!” Dad said. “Ryan was always in trouble. You don’t know half of what he put us through. He lied and he stole. He was arrested three times while he lived here! What were we supposed to do?”

  “Love him,” I said simply. “You were supposed to love him, just like you love us. He expected you to stand by him because you were his parents. Instead, you just turned your back on him. God, he didn’t deserve that!”

  “It wouldn’t have happened if you’d just told the truth!” Dad yelled.

  “So, you abandoning Ryan was my fault?” I asked with raised eyebrows. “Come on, Dad. If you hadn’t thrown him out because of the truck, it would have been something else. You don’t know how to forgive anything.”

  “That’s not true, we just—” Mom began, but I cut her off with a look.

  “I know I messed up,” I said. “I shouldn’t have let Ryan take the fall for me, okay? I know that. But at the time, I was just a kid. I could barely move after it happened, let alone talk. You have no idea how much I wish I would have told you everything years ago.”

  “But you didn’t,” Dad said. “You didn’t.”

  I shook my head. “No, I didn’t, and Ryan took the brunt of that choice. It kills me every day that I put him through that. You don’t know how much I hate myself for hurting him.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Bradley said softly. “No matter what, they shouldn’t have kicked him out.”

  “No,” I agreed. “They shouldn’t have.”

  “You both judge us so harshly, but you don’t know,” Mom said. “You don’t know the kind of person he was!”

  “I know him better than anyone,” I snapped. “I know exactly who he was back then, and I know him now. I know Ryan better than any of you. He and I … we—”

  I stopped, suddenly aware of what I was about to say. Looking at Bradley’s face, I knew it was time to tell the truth about everything. They might not understand. They may never be okay with our relationship, but they needed to know.

  “Ryan and I are together,” I said boldly. “He’s never been a brother to me, not really. Just like he was never a son to you. When we reconnected, something just clicked. We fell into a relationship so easily. We fit.”

  “What?” Bradley asked. “Is this a joke?”

  “No,” I said. “I love him. I’m in love with him.”

  “You can’t be,” Mom began.

  “I can, and I am,” I snapped. “Neither you nor Dad get to have an opinion about this. You kicked him out long before we could become brother and sister. We don’t have that bond, that connection. The connection we do have is so much more. It’s deep and it matters. He matters. If you can’t see that … if you can’t realize how wrong you’ve been, then there’s nothing left for me to say.”

  I turned to leave and stopped in my tracks. Ryan was standing in the doorway, staring at me with wide eyes. I looked at him for a second before walking forward. He took my hand and led me outside. We didn’t stop walking until we reached his truck. Climbing inside, we took off down the road, neither of us speaking.

  When Ryan finally turned to me, his eyes were dark with concern. He searched my face quickly before looking back at the road.

  “I can’t believe you told them,” he said softly.

  “Do you wish I hadn’t?” I asked.

  “No.”
He shook his head. “I wanted to tell them the second we walked into that house.”

  “I didn’t,” I admitted. “I was so scared of what they might do.”

  “What changed?” he asked.

  “The way they spoke to you,” I said with anger. “I couldn’t sit there and listen to it anymore. They don’t know you, Ryan. They obviously never did. You’re amazing and kind and smart and gentle. I don’t care what mistakes you made in the past. That’s not who you are.”

  “I know,” he said, smiling. “I’m just glad you see it.”

  “I do,” I said with earnest. “It’s my fault they kicked you out. I never should have let you take the fall.”

  “You didn’t have a choice,” he said firmly. “Jacqueline, you were a kid. God, you were only fourteen. I wasn’t going to let you go down for that. There was no way.”

  “It wasn’t fair,” I argued. “I shouldn’t have.”

  “Stop,” he said. “Just stop.”

  We fell silent again, and Ryan reached for my hand. We locked our fingers together and both stared out the windshield, just working through all the emotions we felt.

  “Did you mean what you said?” Ryan asked so softly that I barely heard him.

  “What?” I asked.

  “What you said in there,” he said. “To your parents and Brad. Did you mean it?”

  I smiled and squeezed his hand.

  “I love you,” I said. “Of course, I meant it.”

  “I love you too,” he said, glancing at me with a grin.

  I laughed. “I know. You told me last night.”

  “What?” he asked with a frown.

  “You were like half asleep,” I explained. “Or maybe completely asleep. I don’t know. You just whispered that you loved me and then started to snore.”

  He laughed. “Well, that’s romantic.”

  “It actually was,” I said. “I didn’t know what to say at the time. I wasn’t sure how I felt, but then tonight I just knew. When my parents were going off on you like that, I felt this sudden urge to protect you. That’s when I realized just how much I care for you, just how much I love you.”

  Ryan sighed and brought our hands to his lips. He kissed my hand and smiled, looking happier than he’d been all night.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Ryan

  Jacqueline and I spent the rest of the night talking. We finally admitted our love for each other and talked about our future. Soon the memories of our dinner with her parents faded to the back of our minds. I was just happy to be there with Jacqueline, holding her and listening to the sound of her breathing.

  When I heard her say she loved me, my entire world changed. In that moment, I didn’t feel confused or unsure. My anger and pain caused by her parents disappeared. She was the only thing that mattered. Jacqueline.

  When we woke up on Sunday morning, Jacqueline stayed in bed for a while. I felt better about things, but her mind was racing. After she confessed our relationship to her parents, they didn’t say anything. We left so fast that no one else had a chance to speak. We both expected them to call her, but they didn’t. Jacqueline was sure they would never speak to her again.

  As I stood in the kitchen, making coffee and replaying my night with Jacqueline, there was a light tap on the front door. Before I could take a step, the door opened and Bradley poked his head inside. His eyes found me, and he opened the door wider, stepping inside and closing it behind him.

  I couldn’t read his expression. In all the years we’d been friends, I was always able to read his mind. This time, I didn’t have a clue what he was thinking. He moved toward me with a determined expression, and I readied myself for a fight. I felt sure he would hit me, maybe worse.

  My jaw tightened when he stopped right in front of me, and my fists were clenched at my side. The last thing I wanted to do was fight with Bradley, but I knew our friendship would never be the same. Now that he knew about me and his sister, I expected him to hate me.

  “Can we talk?” he asked, turning and sinking into a chair at my kitchen table.

  I nodded and walked over to join him. Sitting across from him, I watched his face closely. He rubbed his hand over it, shaking his head slowly back and forth. I could tell he was confused, more conflicted than he’d ever been before. At least, he didn’t seem angry. I counted myself lucky that all he wanted to do was talk.

  “Listen,” I began softly. “I know I should have told you about Jacqueline. It was a mistake to keep it from you, but I didn’t intend for this to happen. Any of it. We just … we just sort of fell into this relationship.”

  “I’m not mad,” Bradley said with a soft laugh. “You can relax, man, I’m not here to bust your balls.”

  “You’re not?” I asked.

  Just then Jacqueline walked out of the bedroom wearing a pair of pajama pants and my navy sweatshirt. She blushed when her eyes fell on Bradley’s face. Slowly, she walked over and sat beside us, her eyes still glued on her brother. I knew she was just as afraid of his reaction as I had been.

  “Hey,” he said to her, smiling weakly.

  “Hi,” she said back. “I, um, didn’t know you were here.”

  “I just stopped by,” he said. “After last night, I wanted to talk to Ryan.”

  “About me?” she asked nervously.

  “About everything,” Bradley said.

  Jacqueline nodded and waited for him to continue. His eyes moved from his face to mine and then back again. She looked nervous, so I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

  “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you,” Jacqueline whispered, looking up at her brother. “I wanted to. We both did.”

  “Hey,” Bradley said. “I understand, okay? This isn’t exactly an easy conversation to have.”

  “We’re still sorry,” I said. I meant it. I never wanted Bradley to find out that way. With his parents in the room, in the middle of a fight. It wasn’t the way we were supposed to tell him.

  “Are you okay with this?” Jacqueline asked nervously.

  “I’m not going to say it isn’t weird,” Bradley said slowly. “Ryan’s my brother, and you’re my sister, but I get that the two of you don’t have that relationship. I mean, I know you only lived together for three years before Ryan left. Ryan and I were best friends, but you? You barely knew him.”

  “That’s true,” I said with a nod.

  “Part of me wishes you could see each other as siblings,” Bradley said, sighing. “I just … I always had this image in my mind of us being a family, you know? Now I guess that can’t happen.”

  “Why not?” Jacqueline asked.

  “What do you mean?” Bradley said.

  “Well, we can still be a family,” Jacqueline said, laughing. “Bradley, you’re my brother. We’re blood. Forever. And you and Ryan have this unbreakable bond. You’re brothers. That won’t change. Just because he and I are dating, that doesn’t mean we aren’t still a family.”

  “It’s weird,” Bradley said, grinning and shaking his head. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to this.”

  “Can you try?” I asked. “I love her. I really do.”

  “I’m trying,” Bradley promised. “And I think in time it won’t feel as strange.”

  Jacqueline smiled. “I think so too.”

  “I’m glad you came by,” I said, patting Bradley’s shoulder. “I was afraid you were never going to speak to me again.”

  “Nah,” Bradley said. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You fell in love. I can’t hate you for that.”

  “Your parents probably do,” I said softly.

  Jacqueline tensed beside me. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and avoided my gaze. I knew she didn’t want to talk about her parents. She was terrified that they would never forgive her for lying about the truck and about our relationship. I tried to reassure her that everything would work out, but she didn’t believe me.

  “What did they say?” she finally asked, turning her attention to Bradley. �
�After we left?”

  “They’re mad,” Bradley said bluntly. “They probably will be for a long time, but I think they’ll be okay. You know, your little speech last night really made them think.”

  “How?” Jacqueline asked.

  “Well, they never really understood what they did to Ryan,” Bradley said, shooting me a sympathetic look. “They just reacted without thinking. After what you said last night, I think they realize their mistake. They aren’t over everything, and they probably won’t be for a long time, but I think they get it now. They get that it wasn’t all Ryan’s fault.”

  Jacqueline nodded, and we all fell silent. There wasn’t much else to say. In his own way, Bradley had given us his permission. Things still felt tense between us, but I knew it would get better. Being around us would get easier for him. Eventually, everything would feel comfortable again.

  I just wished I could say the same thing about their parents. The idea that I was causing a rift between Jacqueline and her family was hard to bear. No matter what they put me through, they were still her parents. I couldn’t be the reason she didn’t see or talk to them. I just couldn’t.

  “Maybe …” I began, looking at Jacqueline. “Maybe we should take some space until everyone gets used to the idea of us being together.”

 

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